When I was young

I was in quite some pain, mainly due to fibromyalgia, something that no one really ever understood and called my 'fibrous migraines' because back then I talked about it all the time. I pretty much shut up about it, but of course it's still there. The carpal tunnel was more numbness than pain, but limited me for years before I finally did get the surgery because my hands were drawing up at night and it was becoming painful. Ever since my twenties, I've had a litany of syndromes, most of which were not in my head, my reputation among my friends as a hypochondriac not withstanding.

But I tell you, as you get older, it gets worse.

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather live each day like the gift from the Gods that it is. Every day, as one person told me, that you wake up on the right side of the grass is a great day. But I took a nap earlier and was awakened not by the alarm but from pain in my feet, hips, neck, and elbow. I think I'm getting tendonitis in the elbow again. I have bulging discs in the neck, osteoarthritis just about everywhere else, and neuropathy in my feet. I try not to complain much, and generally I just plough on through the pain. I'm good with chronic pain (although with acute pain, I'm a weenie). And the first thing I did when getting up (other than folding the blanket back up and straightening up the bed like a person trying to be neater in her life) was to take an Aleve and my medicine for my feet. So it should settle down soon, I hope.

That reminds me. I saw an old man who could barely walk earlier today, with one of those super-duper rolling walkers with a basket (the type I once saw two women comparing each other's on the bus as if they were muscle cars) and a bicycle helmet on his head. So he's obviously unsteady and tends to fall, and they want to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Maybe's he had a stroke or something. Anyway, I was admiring his gumption as he rolled the walker a few yards, then stopped to make sure his balance was okay, then repeated several times. I was a little worried when a car came through a bank drive through pretty fast, that it might startle him and he'd fall. But no, he just kept going.

Then he turned the walker to the street and jaywalked with oncoming cars on Euclid Avenue, which is pretty busy on Saturdays and it was right by Kroger's with the traffic there. He got across okay, but my goodness, I believe there might have been some dementia there as well, or maybe just guts. I mean, most everyone in the university area does jaywalk, but come on? With a walker? And a helmet? Eek!

Oh, and regarding my post earlier about bikes, it restored my faith in bike riders to see two of them while I was at the same bus stop riding, obeying all traffic laws, and (gasp) signalling. That's the first time I've seen that in some time. Do they even teach kids hand signals anymore? Do kids get bicycle safety classes like when I was a kid? There I am, sounding old again.

I had a brief maternal flash today as well. There was a little girl, 20 months old, that was actually cute (I don't say that about just any child) running about. Her mom was keeping a pretty good eye on her, but she strayed a little close to the street every now and then. They came over to the bench and waited with me for the bus, and she chattered and mom played with her, even though she had a baby in a stroller as well. When the bus came, mom was obviously going to have to work with the stroller, which has to be folded up and under a seat on the bus, the baby, and her bags, and the little exuberant girl was jumping down off the bench as the bus approached and without thinking I put my hand out and she took it, and then I helped her up on the bus, giving mom a chance to take care of everything else. For all that I'm not particularly child-oriented (I kind of fear them, and don't know how to be good with kids, having never had practice) despite working in a children's hospital, I feel very protective of kids, and I think it's everybody's job to keep an eye out on them so they don't get hurt.

Anyway, there was something about that soft little hand in mine that for a moment, just for a moment, I regretted not having a child. Then it passed, and sanity returned. I would be such a neurotic parent, and would never be able to let them just be kids. It's really just as well. But she was darling, and I'm glad I did that.

Okay, I think the pain is easing (although I do feel like I need some sort of rack traction). It's time to start the notes. I want to try to get them finished before dark. :)