Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Thursday, November 30, 2017


The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence

YKWIA got this at the library the other day with me in mind and asked me to read it carefully. He thought it would give me some insight into my own psychology and experiences. He is so right. I've only read three chapters and the introduction so far, but it definitely applies to me. Being a Good Girl is not a good thing, let me tell you. It causes all sorts of anxiety and depression that rule your life, and the pressure to stay a Good Girl and not offend anyone or have an opinion, or heaven forfend, not please everyone is immense. I would really recommend this, especially if you're raising girls now, but I think it's useful for anyone cursed with Good Girl syndrome to see how to combat the habits that sprung from this 'curse'.

I also had an epiphany the other day that the things I used to be passionate about--reading, gardening, drawing, etc., I just don't do much of anymore. I have become Lisa No Fun. Instead, I've filled my life with anxiety and stress. I need to find things I love and pursue them at least a bit every day. Maybe reading this book will at least help me get back into reading, which has been a lifelong comfort and joy, until about five years or so ago. I used to just say I didn't have time to read. Now I realise it has died away--and indeed, I guess I've done the same with blogging to some degree. Sorry about that. I don't want to go through life without passion. So I'm resolved to change that, including here.

I'm kind of in a holiday mood now that Thanksgiving is over

Of course, the holidays will be fairly quiet at home. YKWIA is Jewish, and I think Chanukah starts December 8th, but one, it is actually quite a minor holiday in Judaism, and two, I've already ordered and given him his gift, a nice set of linen napkins, since we were very pressed for any, as most of his had worn out.

As far as me, I'm not Christian. I have put up a tree a couple years running, after years of using Norfolk Virginia pines as my Yule trees (evergreens being a pagan borrowing for Christmas, after all). But my tree and ornaments are in the storage unit, and there's really no room for a tree in the house; when A was living here, it was in the living room. Now I live in the living room, you see, so my bed takes up much of the room, and the nightstands take up the corners that the tree used to go in.

Now the other day, I did buy a lovely rosemary bush topiary that had been shaped like a little cone-like shape, on a whim, even though I've never been able to keep a rosemary bush alive, ever. I decided, though, that there was no really great place for it; the best window for light is above his window seat in his bedroom, and while several plants are there and thriving, I wouldn't really see it much. The cedar chest is right out; the water could damage it. So I decided my little bay at the medical centre was pretty bright with the lights and the sunlight coming in through the windows across the lobby, so I put it on my desk, the one thing I've actually done to personalise the place rather than my little fan and the beaded wrist and hand wrests. It looks rather festive in its little red pot. They also decorated today, putting small, narrow trees all along the lobby windows with bows on them and little tree skirts, with white lights, but the actual ornaments are coloured and hung by the patients. That went much smoother than the folks and my endocrinologist's office, who seemed quite challenged by their tree and were providing a great deal of merriment to those waiting in their attempts to fluff and string working lights. When I came out, it still looked the same. They'd apparently given up for a bit. Trees can be quite challenging to decorate, of course. I'm glad I'm not stringing one with lights and doing the whole tinsel and ornament thing this year.

I came home from my appointment thinking that it had been a good day (much less stressful than yesterday, when I was exhausted), but YKWIA rightly realised I was aching, cranky, and obviously not at my best, so he sent me to take some ibuprofen and then nap while he took a shower and cooked some broccoli with garlic sauce. We had that, chickpea soup, carrot salad, and some French bread. I feel a little better. I came back to my room after cleaning up and starting the dishwasher, only to find the cat happily grooming himself on my soft blanket that was on my bed. He's curled up next to me as I type. :) He's been a challenge to feed lately--he seems to be allergic to most foods, so we've got him on a seafood grain-free food, as anything with chicken or grain makes his stomach upset and/or his eyes water. But the new food does seem to be working, I just don't think he likes it that much. It's probably pretty bland. The little dog left her food in her bowl tonight (she does that on occasion), and the cat was trying to crunch down on her food till we put it up so he wouldn't react to it.

Okay, I guess that's all for now. I considered posting about the weird run of sexual harassment stories lately (don't get me wrong, I believe most of the women, but it seems the climate is such that a witch hunt could ensue, and lives and careers can be permanently damaged by claims that may not be substantiated before the consequences happen, as some have seemed very abrupt.) On the other hand, I think it's very good that the men who have been pigs and abusive over the years are finally having their comeuppance. It's a tricky thing. I've known someone who claimed to have been raped, but never prosecuted and apparently just left town at the time. On the one hand, I'd like to believe her because I don't want to dismiss someone's experience or trivialise her claim. On the other hand, given her other behaviours, we seriously doubted such a thing had ever happened, because she was very attention-seeking (she also attempted to present evidence that she made up herself that a death cult from Taos was out to get her). What can I say, I've known a lot of weird and sometimes quite troubled people, most of them women, unfortunately. But she could have been telling the truth; mental health issues do not mean you haven't been victimised--in fact that probably increases your chances. But it is so hard to tell what happened between two people that were not witnessed by anyone. Others coming forward might increase the chances that it's a pervasive thing and that the guy (or woman, depending on the harasser's gender, as it could be either) is really guilty. But as we know from cases where people come out of the woodwork to accuse others, such as the Salem witch trials and other hysterias, it can be an iffy thing. I hope those who are guilty are brought to justice. I hope those who aren't are eventually exonerated. But the court of public opinion can be a vicious thing, and there is no such thing as innocent until proven guilty outside of the courtroom.

Well, I guess I wrote about that after all. Good night.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Microsoft is thwarting me

So a week or so ago my computer received the Fall Creators' Update, and it broke the ability of my computer to dismiss the lock screen after facial recognition or PIN entry. In other words, it recognises my face, or PIN, but has to have the PIN put in again before it will unlock. My settings are set to 'dismiss lock screen' in the settings for facial recognition. Unfortunately, in this case, I know the solution (after doing a little digging), but my computer is incapable of doing what is needed. That's because you have to edit the group policy on the computer so that it doesn't have the spoofing enabled (and in fact, it must be turned off), but unfortunately, I have Windows Home on my laptop and it doesn't have the group policy editor activated like in Windows Pro and Server. I've found a couple of sites that purport to be able to activate it, giving instructions and even .bat files, but they don't work on my 64-bit machine, even with the 'fix' for 64-bit machines. I worked for two days to get the stupid thing to work, and now have given up, hoping that Microsoft will fix the glitch at some point. On the other hand, I've lived with other Microsoft 'glitches' for years (don't even get me started on one at work that I've dealt with). So, I'm not holding my breath. It's just so annoying because supposedly I have the 'fix'; I just can't do it with my machine. The one thing I haven't tried is running the group policy editor on my other machine on a network, in the hopes of editing the group policy of the offending one, because my desktop was upgraded to Windows Pro at some point, and so all subsequent updates have been for Windows Pro, so it should have the group policy editor. Or I could upgrade to Pro on the laptop, but I really don't want to spend that much (roughly $100) to fix a problem generated by Microsoft's issue, and only that problem, as most of the other advantages of Windows Pro are not particularly useful to me on my laptop.

But if you are having trouble getting the lock screen to dismiss after facial recognition or PIN, and have Windows Pro, you can do a quick search to find out how to run the group policy editor and what to change. I hope this helps someone. Or if you have Home, maybe the 'fix' (easily searchable for both the code and handy-dandy .bat fixes) can help you. But it didn't help me. :( In the meantime, I've still got it set to facial recognition because I'd rather have to put the PIN in after that than put the PIN in twice. I assume it will do this if you put the %^W** password in, too, forcing you to put it in twice, or the PIN, but I haven't verified that. Good luck.

UPDATE: I was able to fix this by rolling back my driver to the one on the manufacturer's website. So apparently it was a driver issue, after all. Here is the site that contained steps for working on this issue: How to Fix Lock Screen Asks for Password Twice in Windows 10. Yay!


The car is fixed. I called my insurance's roadside assistance this morning, the guy came, and he was great. My battery was most sincerely dead--it didn't work with a jump box, so we had to back my car down the driveway in neutral. Then he showed me how exactly to hook up the batteries (I could never keep which order was which, now I think I have it). It took awhile. First, he charged for a while, then he was still not getting enough juice, so he had to rev his engine while I started the car. It finally started. I thanked the guy, who was absolutely great, let me reiterate that. Very thorough, personable, and took his time to do it right and get me on the road. I took it directly to Tire Discounters, where I got the battery a couple of years ago. Since it had a 30-month warranty, and I was at 23 months, I was definitely taking it back. So they checked it, and yes, it was bad, and they were going to replace it charging for just the labour for putting it in, but actually, they charged me nothing. Free, gratis. Which is what it should have been. I called the roadside assistance at about 9, so it took about 25 minutes for him to get there, another half hour to jump the car, given it was so slow to charge, and about 45 minutes to get the battery changed. So I was back on the road by 11. I came back home and ate some leftovers. So, for the rest of the day, I need to:
  1. Take the book to the library, the one that was due the day the car went down.
  2. Take YKWIA to pay a bill.
  3. Go hunt down some grain-free, fish-based (no chicken) cat food for the cat who is allergic to all food we've tried.
  4. Stop by the store for stuff for the game tomorrow.
  5. Work on the game notes.
So, I guess I should get going. Have a great day. I'm staying away from the insanity of Black Friday. Hope yours is a safe and productive one!

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving!

We scaled Thanksgiving back this year since it was just the two of us, but it was absolutely tasty and wonderful. I did prep work, he cooked, I cleaned up. Now he's napping and I am soon to follow. We had Quorn roasts (vegetarian turkey made from mycoprotein); pumpkin soup; Gruyere gougères; green beans with lemon, roasted hazelnuts, and shallots; mashed potatoes; roasted butternut squash with Asiago and Gruyere cheese; apple clafoutis; and pumpkin pie. Yum! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and special thanks to Brenda for helping him get the groceries since my car is down (again) so that we could have one. Tomorrow's goal is to get the car fixed. Wish me luck!

Monday, November 20, 2017

And the saga continues...

Today my car would not start. I took the bus to and from work. It appears to be the battery, which is less than 2 years old and under warranty. The problem is getting it to the place that sold it to me around my work schedule (8:30-5) and their open hours (8-7) , while riding the bus and, possibly having the car jumped, before Thanksgiving so I'm not bringing a bunch of pumpkins and other ingredients home on the bus. #ModernProblems

Sunday, November 19, 2017

So I'm trying to caffeinate

So I can do various things around the house, but having just returned from the cold, gloomy outside I just want to crawl into bed and sleep--and I've only been up for three hours. YKWIA has been watching 'The Vampire Diaries' (he's codifying the various people into charts, it's what he does, he's a Virgo, and for all I know it will somehow make it into the game). But now he's off in his bedroom either reading or considering a nap as well. I'm betting on reading, although I just heard a big yawn. I'm in the library, trying to wake up fully. Things I should (not need, but should) do today:
  1. Water the plants.
  2. Do laundry, mainly bed linens, dog blankets, and a small load of my clothes.
  3. Clean the toilet and bathroom.
  4. Do the cat boxes.
  5. Sweep.
  6. Take the recyclables out.
  7. Clean plastic bottles out of the car, recycle them, and put the lids in a bag to take to a co-worker who is collecting them for charity.
  8. Take a book back to the library.
It's not onerous, or awful, I just don't feel like doing any of it at the moment. Must. Wake. Up. (Drinks more caffeine.)

Saturday, November 18, 2017

It is a dark and stormy night

The wind is hypnotic. I'm certainly not going to see any meteors tonight (the Leonid shower peaks, and it's dark of the moon, which means normally it would be great viewing). It's been quiet and restful today. We did a few errands this morning but I napped for a bit this afternoon. Tomorrow we're not having the game, as Brenda is under the weather with some sort of crud, so I'm going to put off the notes. But tomorrow I plan to be active, doing some laundry and other things around here. I'm looking forward to a busy but short week ahead. And then there's Thanksgiving and getting Friday off as well. Yay!

I haven't been on the computer much at all lately, so I need to at least blog on my phone. Or get on the laptop and actually write rather than just going on Facebook. It's so easy to share things there, I don't have to even write about it, and that's a pitfall. I want to write. I should write. I will write.

I've been having some trouble with my hip lately. It's very painful to get up from a sitting position, probably because I'm sitting too much at work. It seems to be muscular, as it improves with walking and stretching. I'm hoping I can stretch enough to get it to settle down, as I feel like a little old lady. Hell, worse than a little old lady.

It's just 9 pm. I'm resisting going to be early. Maybe I should read. If I listen to music I'll most likely just fall asleep. Besides, there is a black cat perched up on top of two pillows and two blankets on my bed right now who will be most wroth with me should I disturb him. :) The dogs are in the kitchen, having been out in the driving rain briefly after being fed. The kitchen floor is very muddy as a result.

I think I'm going to do some job searching. I like my job, and my workplace, but I'm not giving up being a librarian, either. UK has a government docs position open, and there may be some others. Good night.

Thursday, November 16, 2017


So the other day my friend's phone (landline) went out and despite being only vaguely ept at tech, he unplugged and plugged in many things, including the Ethernet cable I use to plug my laptop in with for internet access. Of course, that cable was already plugged into the modem, so he made it so both ends of the same cable were plugged into ports going out of the modem. This apparently shorted out the cable completely. I'm surprised that the modem still works. I have another, somewhat shorter spare cable I'm using now. He is under strict orders not to mess with the yellow cable. And before you ask why I don't just use Wifi, let me just stop you there. He won't have Wifi in the house, or even run the signal over the house wiring. I have to use my phone's Hotspot to connect if I want to use the laptop in another room. He's not a Luddite, really, but there are times....

Tuesday, November 07, 2017


So this morning I weighed myself not once but three times just to make sure it was right. I've lost  20 lbs since the move (at the end of August).

So, the car

is still in the shop but I have an estimate $600 less than the first place to thoroughly fix what's wrong. The 'safety issues' were bollocks, of course. May have it tomorrow,  Thursday at the latest,  as we played phone tag a lot today. Today's gaffe regarding the rental was that I accidentally knocked the wipers to intermittent,  and while it was damp today,  it took me awhile to figure out how to get them back to 'off'.

Monday, November 06, 2017

Sigh, again

The car saga continues.  Suffice to say the car is now being towed to my regular mechanic's garage. He'll look at it tomorrow and see if it really requires all the work the other place insisted had to be done per policy before fixing what I asked them to, with an estimated price tag of $1700. Not happy with them at all.  At least Enterprise was great about extending the rental over the phone.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

This morning

YKWIA came into my room (which is actually the living room, so you need to if you're going to come into the house or go to the kitchen to let the dogs out, which is what he was doing). He came over, noticed my always on display on my phone, and commented on it. I asked him what time it is. Eight, he said.

Now, my always on display is set to be on from 10:00 pm to 8:00 am, and it was still on. I look at my phone. It's seven. We only have one clock, not counting my thermometer/humidity gauge and my glucometer, that doesn't automatically set from Daylight Savings to Standard Time, and that's the stove. I told him it was seven. The stove says eight, he says. I explain that it has not been set back yet. But, he said, you said we gained an hour, and so it should be 9, right? I just shook my head. The concept of time, beyond light and dark and seasons, eludes him. He never knows what time it is, unless he has a digital clock somewhere that says it. Analogue clocks are difficult. I think it's part of his dyslexia. Anyway, I explained that it was really early and that yesterday it would have been 8, but now it's 7. I don't think it made much of a difference to him, and by that time, I figured I might as well get up.

I had a leisurely breakfast, took a nice shower, got dressed, read for a bit, visited with him for awhile, and I have:
  1. Gotten my stuff off the kitchen table.
  2. Cleaned the cat box.
  3. Taken out the trash from all cans.
  4. Run my summer clothes to the storage unit.
  5. Gotten some bananas at Kroger.
  6. Cleaned the toilet.
Now I need to water the plants, and since I did the notes last night, I'm pretty much ready for the game. I've caffeinated and taken my meds. I do need to do some laundry; he's in the shower right now, so I'll start after that. I think it'll be a difficult game. We're in ancient Rome with slightly under 24 hours to dismantle a cult of He Who Shall Not Be Named (not Voldemort, rather, Hastur) before the gates open up and all sorts of alien Cthulhoid entities cross over to the world and subjugate mankind. Wish us luck. Brenda has two characters, I have two characters, and YKWIA has two NPCs (non-player characters) on this one.

Saturday, November 04, 2017

So on Thursday night

I went to the grocery, dropped off a book at the library, and noticed halfway home that my temperature gauge was on 'H', all the way. So I got home, and I took the bus Friday, barely getting to work on time even though I built in a 30-minute cushion because the Nicholasville Road bus had been in a small accident and was running behind. The Tates Creek bus was also running behind in the evening, and the bus driver wouldn't let us board before he took his break.

I called my mechanic on Friday, but he couldn't see it that day and is closed on weekends. He thought it sounded like a coolant leak. With the new job, I really can't take off during the day (although I probably could have Friday, as it was a low census day, with our semi-annual lecture keeping clinic numbers down to almost nothing--I checked one person out the whole day, and didn't have to do the whole process at that. Anyway, back to the car. I put water in it and took it to another place that is open and got there bright and early at 8 am.. It has good ratings and isn't a chain, but they couldn't work me in today due to two guys being out with new babies and a guy who bounced off a truck and tools with his back the day before. Still, they were willing to do it Monday, and are reasonably close to work that I could get there before they closed, by car. I didn't want to drive to another shop to try to get it fixed today. One of them also got me a soda before taking me to rent a car for the meantime. I have never rented a car before. He took me back to get my insurance card, then back the rental shop. I'm now driving a 2016 Hyundai Veloster which totally freaked me out because the radio stays on once the car ignition is off. I tried to figure it out, it finally went off. Turns out it goes off when you open the door. So I read the owner's manual to get up to speed on the car before going out again. Keep in mind, I drive a 2001 Taurus, so I'm not used to the new-fangled things. And I keep hitting the wipers instead of shifting because my gear shift is on the steering wheel. :)

Thursday, November 02, 2017


So,  tomorrow's adventure is taking the bus to and from work. My car heater is blowing cold air, but the engine is running all the way hot. Noticed the latter on the way home from the grocery store tonight,  and prayed I'd get through the half-mile or so. I'm not 100%, but I think that might mean getting a new thermostat. I have a regular mechanic I trust,  but they're only open weekdays. Any recommendations for a good weekend mechanic?  I think I may call mine (Kenny at Mitch's Auto, excellent folks) to see if he knows anyone. With the new job,  I accrue vacation and holiday time,  but can only use it for holidays at first. So weekends would be preferable.

Wednesday, November 01, 2017

The full effect

I had a blast for Halloween at work. Thanks to Morgan Hall, who took the picture. The costume was a hit, not only with staff,  but with kids and parents. It was great being able to celebrate Halloween at Shriners again. There is,  however,  glitter everywhere. :)