Okay, there's a bumpersticker I didn't plan on incorporating. But...
Friday night, I had some drunken college student lean out of a car (I had my window cracked, rather than fully down, at least), going:
Ma'am, ma'am...I just want to tell you, whatever you do, don't vote for John Kerry. It would be a big mistake.
I have no idea why...I don't have a Kerry sticker on my car or anything. Maybe I just looked like a Democrat? Maybe he just was being an ass and didn't care who he was talking to. I wasn't about to get into a shouting match with a drunken Republican at a stop light. But I'm afraid I did make a very unladylike gesture as I drove away, which very much surprised him.
Then, on Sunday, the Deborah called over right before the game (she used to play in it and no doubt expected we'd be there)--you know, the crazy woman I had written about earlier. The caller ID listed a cell phone with a 606 area code, so I was pretty sure it was her, so I answered. She was all perky, asking me how I was. I told her I was fine, but I didn't see where it was her business, since I hadn't seen or talked to her in 5 years, and asked her why she was calling. 'Oh, I just wanted to check on you,' which was, of course a lie, because when she asked why I didn't seem happy to hear from her, and I explained, she got very defensive, asked for specifics (which I'd already given her), then said she said well, I actually called to speak to...at which point I told her I didn't think he was available (he was standing there, but didn't want to talk to the psycho either), and then she said that she really wanted access to his library, not him.
So, she's been calling because she wants a book? Mind you, he wouldn't let her borrow books even when he saw her frequently, and now she wants a book????? I suggested she use a public library. She was still playing all coy and just couldn't understand why we weren't being more helpful. I pointed out that if she didn't understand, then she was still crazy, and we didn't want to talk to her. Then I told her goodbye, hung up, and my friend call blocked the number.
I was firm, assertive without being bitchy, fairly polite (all things considered), and used every ounce of backbone I've been growing over the last few years, and it felt really, really good. :)