Long day in the emergency room

So I had to go to the University of Kentucky emergency department today.

I felt fine this morning, drove to work with no problem, blood sugar was normal, everything was fine. I got to the stadium lot and felt fuzzy in my head, and when I tried walking I was uncoordinated and listed to the side. I was carrying a small orchid and nearly dropped it repeatedly, even jerking at one point without meaning too, like those jerks you have when you're falling asleep, but I wasn't.

It continued when I went into work, and I nearly fell over, even with the cane, several times. Once I got to work I dropped an open drink twice on my keyboard (good I have an overlay), I was still fuzzy, and really slow in making the computer work. I went down to the employee health nurse. My blood pressure has been all over the place today, first high with her, then at one point really low. She got me in a wheelchair and she and my supervisor took me over to UK's ED, because some of my symptoms matched a TIA like I had in July.

So after the CT and EKG and other tests, there was no sign of a TIA (although they don't necessarily do that, being transient, after all). I spent a lot of time sitting and lying in bed and the fuzziness finally cleared for the most part. I'm dehydrated, but I wasn't enough to get fluids. I have orthostatic hypotension, but I'd figured that out some time ago (I am a medical librarian, after all, and I once knew someone who had it and they were the same symptoms, such as getting dizzy when standing up). But this wasn't really that...I was a little dizzy in the beginning but it was more unsteady, groggy, disoriented, that sort of thing.

Last night between 9 and 10 PM I'd taken a small dose, smaller than usual, of a muscle relaxant, tinzanidine. I've used it occasionally for years for neck and back spasms. I usually take 14 mg, again, PRN, just as needed, but I just took 8, thank goodness. It was over 12 hours by the time I went to the ED since I'd taken the medicine, which usually is short-lived.

I was still having unsteadiness almost 24 hours afterwards. My brain's just not in the same fuzzy mode it was before. Now (11:30 PM) I feel tired and overly-wrung out.

The doctor thinks I may have a hypersensitivity or allergy to tizanidine and I shouldn't take it, but she never said it definitely caused the symptoms today. I also found in my own research that despite having a relatively short half-life, it is heavily metabolised by the liver, and since I have fatty liver disease, I wonder if that affected things.

The nurse brought me home (thank you Kathryn) just before 5 PM, and I went straight to bed for a rest. She's going to come get me in the morning as my car is at the stadium.

So it was a big maybe on what all happened, but I'm just hoping I'm back to my normal self tomorrow.

UPDATE: Thinking back through things, I find it interesting that I didn't have symptoms for about two hours when I woke up, before I to to work. If it were some strange carryover from the tizanidine, you would expect me to be impaired from the moment I woke up. The only reason I even thought of the tizanidine was before I also had some, and the last time I had some, the night before my TIA in July, (and none of them thought it should be it either time, as it does clear fairly quickly out of the body, but it seemed oddly beyond coincidental not to mention). All the symptoms I had today were symptoms I had that morning in July as well.

It also reminded me of a time I went to another hospital for weakness on one side, headache, and chest pains. They decided it was a hemiplegic migraine with a panic attack because nothing showed up on the scans. But I'm beginning to wonder if that was also a transient ischemic issue as well. The chest pains may have been a panic attack, I do get them. I rarely get migraines, but I have not had a hemiplegic migraine, either before or since.

I think I'm going to talk to my PCP. In addition to being an expert with decades of experience in internal medicine, he has worked in both neurology and emergency medicine. He's also Canadian, and so maybe the training he received might give him another perspective.

Tiring day "off"

I'm tired. I had a one-hour telehealth appointment (my doctor was really happy about my joining the Y and only suggested trying to eat meals rather than small amounts throughout the day) this morning and then I went to the second doctor's appointment this afternoon, and while the good news is we don't think it's congestive heart failure causing the swelling, so no echocardiogram or anything like that, the simplest and most likely culprit is my diclofenac--an NSAID that is time-released once-a-day, and which has been really good for my arthritis. So I have to stop taking that out and try to flush it out of my system. I accidentally forgot to take my meds yesterday (I didn't realise till I went to take this morning's and it was actually the Sunday pill reminder that was still full. Sigh. Anyway, there's no good alternative for what else I can take. Arthritis Tylenol (acetaminophen) has too much for my liver and we have to watch the NSAIDs for my kidneys. I finally got some regular-strength acetaminophen to take judiciously, as recommended by my liver provider. Diclofenac has been so good at dealing with my arthritis pain, although I've noticed less efficacy lately. Oh, well, it was good while it lasted.

I also got my insulin and Jardiance from the pharmacy, and I've taken those. My blood sugar went up to 350 last night as I'd run out of it and had forgotten to call it in. Lastly, I picked up a book from the library, a Pulitzer winner by Wesley Lowery calledÁmerican Whitelash: A Changing Nation and the Cost of Progress.

Now I'm pooped. I've got a load in the wash, but otherwise, I'm going to rest while my roommate's on Zoom and then work on the Sunday chores I never got finished (or even started) yesterday. I also need to take some things out of my room to the car in order to go to storage and a fan that has given up the ghost to be disposed of.

I'm feeling better

I have tried to be proactive and have taken steps to try to deal with and alleviate my depression, and as a result, I am feeling quite a bit better.

My psychiatrist upped my lamotrigine up to 50 mg of each dose (I take two a day). So that's 100 mg in an increased amount of medicine, and I think that has helped the most in the short term.  Let's face it, much of my mood issues are a result of brain chemistry. I see him six weeks from our last visit, so late March, and I've already made that appointment with his office (ours are usually telehealth).

I met with my new therapist last Saturday and really liked her.  She was nearly gleeful when she discovered I prefer cognitive or dialectical behavioural therapy and do well with 'homework'. We're going to actually start on anxiety and frustration coping techniques first because when she put me through the same test I'd taken the week before, it came out more anxiety (which is my usual problem), and it all fuels my depression. I see her again today. She has in-person and telehealth visits, but for now, we're meeting in person, as I think that is more helpful at times with a therapist.  For example, when I told her about the test, the DASS-21, she immediately downloaded it and had me take it.

I tried to meet with the counsellor from Able To, a programme through my insurance, but her phone calls wouldn't come through even though I did not have 'Do Not Disturb' on and they were going straight to voicemail. We managed to connect through voicemails and phone tagging to reschedule for next Tuesday. I think it may have something to do with T-Mobile's scam blocker, which is very useful but might have been over-enthusiastic.  Now that she is in my contacts, I'm thinking it won't be an issue.  But I'm going to check and see if I have to do anything to whitelist her number.

As a result the behaviour coach for Thursday didn't happen either.  I think she rescheduled both, although I'm not sure. It just never happened, no notices, no phone calls.  So hopefully that will happen next Thursday.  I want to try to work on the depression angle with the two insurance counsellors.

I bought a Voraiya UV-free 10,000 Lux therapy lamp and it arrived yesterday.  I used it for 10 minutes this morning, and plan to work up over the next week to 30 minutes a day in the morning, assuming I can get out of bed in time.  And it doesn't have to be 30 minutes all at once. Just now I had it off to the side. It's okay apparently to use my ant-glare prescription glasses so I can type, etc.  I have a slight headache, but that apparently becomes less of a problem as time goes by.  It wasn't as pricey as I thought (I think it was only $35 from Amazon.  There is a slight risk with these lamps as far as years of use for macular degeneration, a disease that robs you of some of your eyesight and is usually found in older people.  Both my mom and grandmother had it. I've never had signs, and I'll double-check with my ophthalmologist, but it is caused by exposure to a form of ultraviolet light, and this is supposed to be UV free. So hopefully that's fine.

So for now, I think taking immediate steps has helped.  I got up this morning, ate a banana, drank a glass of water, took my medicine with it, took my insulin, and now I'm going to go to the store for creamer, make my friend's coffee in the percolator (I do that on Saturday, as he is Jewish and observant), and then take a shower and get ready for my therapy appointment at 11 am.  At 1 pm I have an appointment with Tire Discounters for an oil change [my poor car, I knew it was overdue--I've gone 7,000 miles, but upon looking at the sticker, I realised it hasn't been done not in the last year, but in 2021, at least at Tire Discounters (I may have had my mechanic do it, and I have checked my oil and added as needed regularly), tyre rotation, windshield-wiper change (my driver's side is absolutely shredded), and to see if they can raise my driver's window.  The power window fell when I lowered the other night and is totally in the door.  I could cover it against the rain, but my main issue is that I can't lock the car.  I have an ADA (handicapped) placard for general use and a similar hangtag for parking at the University of Kentucky.  I'm afraid they will be taken, I'll get a citation (which is very pricey), and I'll have to have them replaced.  I don't need it fixed just now (it could be the switch, but it could be the motor and either is somewhat pricey, and I'd rather have my regular mechanic do that); I'm just trying to lock the car at this point by raising the window and keeping it closed.  After that, I'm going to try to get my hair trimmed, as it's starting to curl out of a pixie cut and I have an $8 coupon for a haircut.

Okay, I should get dressed and go get the creamer.  I still have to make the coffee (which takes about a half an hour with the percolator), go get the creamer, try to caffeinate, take a shower, and then do this whirlwind of tasks today.  Have a great weekend.

Grrr...argh

I just went through six pharmacies to try to get one of my diabetes medicines. My regular pharmacy is very small, so some of the brand names are an issue in terms of getting reimbursed enough, so I was getting this one at the University of Kentucky. which you would think is pretty big, so they could get it. And it wasn't any trouble before. But, no, they couldn't this time.

One had it (Kroger) but it no longer takes my medication insurance (head's up to you all at Shriners, as I'm pretty sure Express Scripts is used for both of the main plans). I finally found some at Walmart and am working on getting it transferred, although they won't know the price or anything until they run it and can't guarantee they'll be able to get it from here on out. Everyone else just had it on backorder. So it will hopefully work out as I'm supposed to take my weekly dose (it's a once-a-week injectable) tomorrow.

It's Ozempic, which has really helped with my blood sugars, but as I'm sure you've heard, recently perfectly skinny TikTok influencers who want to lose weight have been going crazy over it, and according to my main pharmacist, doctors are apparently writing prescriptions even when it's not needed, and in some cases, insurances are paying for it. Or maybe these people are just making so much money on TikTok that they just have the money to pay $1500-$1600 a month for it without batting an eye. Kroger did say they could sell me theirs for their retail price ($1500) if I wanted to pay without running insurance.




UPDATE: I did get my medicine in time for the scheduled dose, mainly by calling around and finally getting it at Walmart, a store I stopped going to years ago except for runs to get items for a friend who was dying of cancer.

The pharmacist did take me aside and explained that given the shortage, I should call them about three weeks ahead to get a refill started. Mind you, the pen lasts for four weekly doses, so I need to call them next week. I speak with my doctor this week and will let her know what's going on.

Not your typical Friday night

Our plans were put on hold tonight so I listened to music, trying out some new headphones I have, and for whatever reason, I started listening to a lot of older Linkin Park, mainly the albums Metora and Hybrid Theory.  I remembered that Chester Bennington's death had been around this time of the year, and I checked, it was the 20th of July 2017. Hard to believe it's been four years.  It's a shame; he was very talented, and had a beautiful voice (when he was singing, as opposed to the occasional screaming, but you could never say he didn't put emotion into his work).  That's what first appealed to me about them--Mike Shinoda's speaking and Chester Bennington singing, their voices intertwining.  I think it was 'In the End' that I first heard them.  There's a dark aspect to their music, emotional, raw, and full of depression and hurt.  I spent so much of my early life feeling exactly those things--I was clinically depressed from much of my childhood and teens all through my 30s.  I felt trapped in circumstances in my early life, then wound up going from that to an emotionally abusive marriage where I walked on eggshells for a six-year relationship that culminated in my wedding and then finally getting my voice and leaving six months into the fiasco that was.  Then there were years of trying to rebuild my life, or rather build it, because I'd always been a mirror of what people wanted me to be, rather than my own person. And once I stopped doing that, I was much happier.  So you can see why their music appeals.  (It's also why I like Simon & Garfunkel and Ed Sheeran, who often sing songs that are beautiful and light musically, but really quite depressive if you look at the lyrics.  Simon & Garfunkel have suicide through several songs, and Ed Sheeran sings about drugs, prostitution, miscarriages, and all sorts of 'negative' things, but in a way that makes him sound happy.)  Somehow I get all those.  Linkin Park is a rawer kind of music, where the music itself expresses the pain, not just the lyrics.

I don't know why, even though I'm not in that place any more, I still feel comfort in this sort of music.  Most people feel depressed listening to that sort of music.  I feel more alive.  It reminds me of the demons I've conquered.  There are plenty I'm still working on, as it's a daily struggle with my brain to keep on an even keel.  Thankfully I have a good support system, a friend of over 30 years (the same one who helped me get out of that awful marriage) who still asks me hard questions I can't dodge that cuts down on lies I might tell myself, and then I can't tell you how different my life is with the right medicine.  My brain chemistry hates me, and while I sometimes wish that wasn't so, I know I need help, and there's no shame in that.  My roommate is very astute at sensing changes in my mood, and helping with my anxiety, which without medication would be crippling.

I know that's a fairly heavy post.  Sorry about that, I didn't mean to go all dark on you.  It's one reason I try to keep things upbeat here, because of that tendency. I'm feeling actually pretty decent tonight. It was a good week, I got a lot done, I feel good about myself.  But it did make me reflect on how far I've come.  If you told me at age 20 that I'd have connexions to so many people who make my life better, I'd think you were crazy. I was so alone for so long.  Thanks for being there.  You know who you all are.

What a day

I had my first attempt to use the dough setting on my machine, followed by punching it down, one more knead by hand, my first try at braiding, brushing with an egg mixture, and baking for 25 minutes. The first picture is the braided dough before baking, the second is the final result. It was a recipe that did the two loaves I needed at once. I'm really looking forward to tasting it tomorrow. I even put a few sesame seeds on top to be fancy.

The bread was my crowning achievement for the day, along with getting in some information on a website in a timely fashion. Otherwise, I managed to 1) forget to take any of my medicine, oral or injected, 2) had my blood sugar fly up to the 340s as a result, 3) received a kitchen timer in the mail that didn't work per the instructions so rather than just returning it I unscrewed and fiddled with it most of the day, figuring out how to put it back together but unable physically to do so, and getting mightily frustrated, to the point where I just threw it away, since I couldn't return it, 3) slept most of the rest of the day, 4) had a recurring anxiety dream which began with Dungeons & Dragons (which oddly enough, as a gamer, I've never played) in the Patterson Office Tower at the University of Kentucky, and ended with a full-out musical number with Nancy Drew in that location.

I get a little off when my medicine's off. The dream was my anxiety, I was more frustrated than normal, my blood sugar was affecting my thinking and in general, I was both anxious and depressed.

But I made good bread, so that's going to be my takeaway. In the meantime I've taken all the meds I can at night (ADHD and water pill/potassium are the exceptions, as they're a morning thing). I've also had a bit too much caffeine today, and it's late, 1:35 am and I'm both tired and awake. I watched some 'Designing Women' with my roommate just now, though, so I feel a little better.

That timer was sort of a metaphor of my day. Non-operational, then wound too tightly, and you take me apart and the spring explodes and you lose the screws.

Today's agenda

1. Get medicine from pharmacy
2. Return books to the library
3. Donate a few of YKWIA's books and a CD to the library
4. Work on the bedroom
5. Pack books
6. Get totes for clothes' storage
7. Get mattress pad to protect my current (queen) mattress from dust (and cover up a couple of menstural blood stains from the movers--I should have putt one on years ago. The new one (which is a full mattress) had one on within minutes of delivery. Of course, it has a 10-year warranty that is void if it gets stained.)
8. Find something that will work for providing more clothes storage in the closet at YKWIA's
9. Work on game notes

Today, possibly tomorrow:

1. Take telescope, holiday decorations, and walk-in-closet things to storage
2. Take out trash/recyclables
3. Go through medicine in the refrigerator and reduce packaging/space
4. Clean kitchen
5. Clean bathroom

Hmm...

The scary swish and swallow stuff (aka Nystatin) isn't terrible.  I think it tastes a bit like bubble gum.  A bit.  I have to take it four times a day,  so at least it's bearable.

A few random things...

1. I did send that thank you letter to Dr. Daniel last week. I hope it finds him well.
2. Tomorrow I get paid and I'm opening up an account with the credit union, paying off the bank, and closing that account, if I can. Or at least get it positive and start changing over the automatic debits I have monthly to the new account.
3. I'm kind of tired, but I've had an okay sort of day. Emotionally I feel better, and my throat feels better, probably due to the oral medicine, because I totally forgot to bring the 'swish and swallow' stuff with me today. I'm going to start it tonight and put the stuff in my backpack. It's 5 ml/1 teaspoon at a time, which isn't that bad, surely (she said, hopefully).
4. A is sick and I took YKWIA to get food and medicine for him. He sounds awful. Everyone I know has been sick this season, I think, except maybe not YKWIA, which is unusual.
5. I just made some scrambled eggs with cheese (although I almost managed an omelet) and feel better. I'd gotten pretty hungry while we were running around. It was that or 1) soak and cook basmati rice and pair it with a kidney-bean curry that's premade, or 2) cook some pasta with sauce. Neither of those seemed appealing. My appetite's actually been pretty good, but not at night, especially as the throat hurts worse then. Eggs are soft. They'll do.

I guess that's really all. I'm going to try to read a little before bed, although I'm not sure which book yet. It's a goal to read 30 minutes a day (or listen to an audiobook) on my Habitica to-do list. I'm not sure I'm up to reading--I have an audiobook or two I can try, perhaps. Okay, have a good night.

PS (another one)

According to MedlinePlus, tizanidine can cause an upset stomach, which seems to be the case with me right now. So, I'm hurting and am nauseous. Lovely. I'm going to bed and hope it passes. I don't need any more tonight. I just hope it helps with the tense muscles. After all, that's why my doctor prescribed it. Good night.

Had a bit of a Monday on a Friday today

Where things were annoying that were really trivial, and I kept feeling like I was outside myself listening to what I was saying and wondered why the hell I was saying anything I did, but without actually shutting up. All became clear after I'd finished work, taken a friend to an appointment, got gas (I was on my gas light), and then when he bought me dinner at Captain D's and I went to take my afternoon meds, I realised that while I'd taken my Byetta and insulin this morning at breakfast, I somehow overlooked my oral meds (which explains how I worked from 8:45 am to 2 pm without taking one pee break, as I'm usually on a diuretic and a diabetic medicine that conspire against my bladder. Anyway, I took the meds this afternoon, and I feel much better, both physically and mentally. YKWIA and I spent some time visiting, and then I came on home just before dark. I've got Loreena McKennitt playing on Pandora and I think I'll do some reading, most likely from the self-help books on hoarding I have on my Kindle and out from the library, but I'm tempted to go straight to the books I found by Randall Garrett that YKWIA had been talking about earlier. They are the Lord Darcy series, an alternative-history fantasy series. Turns out I have the first three (I think he gave them to me, actually, but I've never read them). Tomorrow is a very busy day, but I may read some from the first book, taking it with me--it's very small, actually, and will fit nicely in my bag.

For tomorrow (not necessarily in order):

• Go to a friend's house at 9 am.
• Take the friend to the vet for a special type of cat food.
• Take said friend to the pharmacy to correct a mistake.
• Take friend to an appointment.
• Go to Eastside branch of the public library for an interlibrary loan for a friend.
• Go to the Central library for two holds for a friend.
• Come home and work on the house.
• Go pick up friends.
• Take them to their respective homes.
• Give friend books from the library.
• Return home.
• Read.
• Work on the house.
• Work on the notes (we're not playing on Sunday due to Brenda being at a Society for Creative Anachronism event, but hey, it would be good to have them done for next week.

Okay, time to listen to relaxing Celtic music and do some enjoyable reading. Good night.

I got home from the game while it was still light outside

which is almost unheard of. I enjoyed the game--downtime this time, but with getting so little sleep last night, I'm ready to get some rest. I've been researching pregnancy a bit for the game, as I have a character who is pregnant with twins. She's fifteen weeks along (I thought it was thirteen, but gestation is dated from the last period, not from the date of conception, I found out.) One of them is female, the other is male (it's too early to tell by mundane means, but magic is a totally different thing, and after all, this is a horror/sci-fi/fantasy sort of game. And apparently there is active magic going on with the babies already, even though they haven't been born, so it looks like we'll have a couple more special kids in the game, to join the ranks of fairy princesses and shapeshifters.)

Before we played, as I was doing my normal game preparations, I also did my laundry, which had piled up for two weeks rather than the regular one, so that's good. I'd taken the sheers over there to be evaluated, and he liked them. so I washed those, too. I think one rod will work, but the other window will need a different one, as my bigger window rod doesn't collapse down far enough. So today was productive over there. I'd like to do a bit around here--I still need to take out the trash and recyclables, for example, and tomorrow isn't good because I'll probably be there late due to an appointment. But I'm already in my sleep shirt, and I'm pretty comfy and don't want to put regular clothes back on to take that out. But I've got my alarm already set for 6 am, so I might be able to take care of it in the morning.

I've been home almost an hour, listening to Pandora again (this time it's the OneRepublic channel, so stuff like them, Imagine Dragons, The Fray, and Maroon V). I've got the windows up, the fan going in the living room, and I have one small light on. With it getting dark outside, there's not much light in here, and I'm getting pretty sleepy. I really don't want to go to bed yet--I'd like to make it to 10 pm. I also need to go looking for one of my medicines--I accidentally put it in a bag of meds rather than my bookbag, and put another one in there instead. So I didn't have it today. I also need to go ahead and take my Lantus so I can keep on track with my injectible medication schedule as well. I just checked my Habitica tasks--I apparently forgot to mark my dailies off yesterday, even though I did them, which is unfortunate, as I lost hit points for my avatar. But I've marked things off for tonight, anyway. I was also sure to wish a co-worker happy birthday today on Facebook. She and her family went to the Louisville Zoo today. :)

Okay, I think I'm going to go in-between and instead of going to bed, which would necessitate closing the windows, I'll prop myself back on the couch recliner. But I'll sign off for now. Good night.

Back to normal--

or at least, back to normal for me. The medication kicked in and I got some rest. I had a little trouble getting up this morning, but I felt better than I have in days and got a lot accomplished. Today and tomorrow are my catch up day for the library and all those little tasks I have for the revenue cycle aspect of my job.

Earlier I took a friend to our family doctor and went to the allergist myself (which was, fortunately, across the street from his appointment). I got a good report from the allergist and was able to start my allergy shots back up, only having to take a few steps down to a lower phial. But I'll build my way back up fairly quickly, she said. I'm going to try to go tomorrow and get another shot, as there's no harm in doing them one day after the other, but I have to go to the pharmacy, too, so we'll see if I have time for both. I think I will, anyway. Afterwards we got some food at Taco Bell (a much better experience than last time), went over to his house, and we watched an episode of 'Scream Queens' on Hulu and ate. Later, we watched 'Heroes Reborn'. Then I came home right before the UK-Auburn football game let out, yay, and got home just in time to see the final score (a close game overall, but Auburn won). UK has not had a Thursday night game since 1939, and they had much to do to make it run smoothly as far as traffic is involved, especially after the Luke Bryan Farm Tour concert that left Tates Creek road a virtual parking lot for hours on end, just a bit ago.

Okay, I'm sleepy, and it's time for bed--my phone application has told me so. I'm going to sign off. Good night.

Feeling not quite real tonight

It's called depersonalisation, and it is something that you see in Bipolar II. I think I'm reacting to the stress of working three jobs at work, and also I realised that in addition to being off my ADD medicine for a few days while I found the prescription and the pharmacy ordered it, I also missed my Abilify, which is used to treat my bipolar disorder. Apparently when I filled my medicine reminder box last, I ran out of those, and forgot to replace them. I think I've missed 3-4 days. Not good. I still have had my other medicine, but still, the Abilify really helps keep me on an even keel, and I feel a bit depressed, and not quite with it. Moreover, I feel just disengaged from my surroundings, like I'm viewing myself from the outside. Inside I feel numb tonight. I went ahead and took my medicine a little while ago, and I'll be back on track tomorrow, so hopefully this feeling will go away. Tomorrow will be a busy day (catching up in the library, and I have several things to work on for the revenue cycle, plus taking a friend to the doctor and going to my own allergist across the street from one another in the late afternoon). But it shouldn't be as bad as the last three days have been in terms of patient volume, and I won't be in scheduling itself, although I have to followup on some scheduling issues. The last three days, when I've left work, my brain has felt nearly like mush, I've had headaches, and I just had so much trouble switching gears to my other tasks. That might be a lack of medicine, too, especially the Strattera, the ADD medication. But I think a lot of it is trying to figure out where I am and what I'm doing at any given moment: I have two desks, three long distance codes, three greetings for answering the phones, three bosses, etc., etc., and I do a pretty decent job of wearing all the hats and doing my job, but I'm feeling increasingly overwhelmed by it all, and I don't know how long this arrangement will be going on. Don't get me wrong--it's not terrible. The phones weren't even that busy today, given how busy we were in clinic, and most of my responsibility over there is rescheduling and scheduling appointments over the phone. But I can tell, after about a month, it's taking a toll. I'm terribly behind on my referrals and the library stuff this week. I don't feel like I'm keeping all the balls in the air as I juggle. Maybe I can catch up before the end of day Friday. But I feel a bit like a hamster in a wheel at the moment, and it's maybe more stress than I'm comfortable with. I'm not saying I can't handle it, I'm just not very comfortable with it.

Waiting to eat dinner

I take a medicine that requires me to wait fifteen to forty-five minutes before eating breakfast and dinner. The nice thing is that I was able to get groceries today and some essentials like deodorant and shampoo, which were running out. There wasn't much left in the pantry, except some popcorn and a big can of pasta sauce. :) I got some fruit and salad makings, too, so that should be good. I ate a very intensive vegetable-laden meal today after almost two weeks of peanut butter and bread, and my system totally balked. But hopefully it will do alright from now on. I was able to get some yeast and vital wheat gluten (the latter is for making whole wheat bread fluffier), salt, sugar, honey, oats--all the things I've been making bread from. I'm going to continue that as a way to save money. While I did eat at the work cafeteria today, I'm going to start doing that less and bring my lunches. I don't have much leeway with my bills, and I will still be behind, but I decided food and gas could not be skipped, and just tried to save wherever possible. I did get 50 cents off a gallon of gas at Kroger, so even though I was on my gas light again, it took $31 to fill the car. Yay!

Oops, I did mean to stop by the pharmacy and see if they had any left-handed braces I could wear at night. I have a right-handed one, and I used it last night, and it felt much better than the left upon waking. I woke up in the middle of the night with my left hand clenched in a fist; that can't be helping. I may go out again later, or try tomorrow. At least that's something I can get with my flexible spending card, I think.

Today was a catch-up day at work, since I was off yesterday, but I got all of Tuesday's and Wednesday's charges in and really worked my referral queue. Tomorrow I'll work on catching up on some other things. I also need to place a book order for the library before the end of the month and also one for our early literacy project. So perhaps that can be done tomorrow.

It's very pleasant outside today, sunny and cooler. After I eat I need to pay some bills and do some things around here, including taking the trash out that I just made from cleaning out the refrigerator to put new stuff in. I had to look up whether to put an uncut watermelon into the fridge or not (they keep better outside, so long as it's fairly cool). I found one that wasn't huge for a reasonable price. I must say my excursion to the Chinoe Kroger was very nice. They've been remodeling, and I think they're mostly finished--the carts were inside and they had real doors again. :) I love it because it's smaller than the one I live near, and go out of my way to stop by when I need anything.

Okay, I'm going to eat now and look at the news, something I've avoided doing all day.

Red flashing lights and the distinctive sound of an ambulance backing up woke me up

It is outside my living room window right now. I'm not sure what's going on. Actually, it's not the most exciting thing so far tonight. I managed to slice open a small cut on my middle finger earlier. I now understand that saying, 'best thing since sliced bread'. Oh, and we got a notice yesterday that the cheques and money orders for rent at the leasing office were stolen over the weekend, so those who'd already paid have to stop cheques and re-request money orders. Fortunately, I'm broke at the moment, and hadn't paid yet.

Apparently the thunder brought rain as well. I'd been working on things in here, and then fallen asleep, and missed most of it. But it's quite wet outside.

There are a couple of things I really must do, including going over the lesson tomorrow (although most of it is guest speakers) and putting my medicine into their reminder box, but I think I'll get up early tomorrow and do that. I want to get to work about half and hour early, too.

Okay, good night.

Home

So I got home about 8 pm and the first thing I did was take out the recyclables, and then I watered the outside plants. I gathered up the plastic bags into a plastic bag that I can take to recycle at Kroger. Now I'm at the computer with the little fan on because I feel hot and sticky. My neck's been bothering me quite a bit today, and it's gotten worse over the day, although I was able to stretch it a bit and that helped for awhile. I don't really want to lift anything tonight as a result. The items from the walk-in closet should go back, and mostly they're light, but the Christmas tree is in a big tub and while I would not need to lift it, there is bending and pushing to consider. It should go on the bottom, as it's a big tub, so that I hope to do tomorrow, maybe, after class. I'm a little hungry, so I'm mustering up the desire to make something. I think I'll keep it simple, a peanut butter and spreadable fruit sandwich. But mostly I just want to lie down and go to sleep, even though it's not even dark yet. But I will resist that.

Tomorrow morning I go to my psychiatrist and he'll decide whether to put me on medication for the attention-deficit disorder. That's early in the morning, so I have to get up about the same time I normally would for work. Then it's off to work, and then teaching class that evening.

I think I'm going to try to do something to improve the apartment each night, even the late ones, even if it's simple, on the theory that it will improve things over time. But tonight, having done a few things, I think I will try to relax and do something fun on my own. I spent some time watching things with YKWIA, including 'Wizards vs. Aliens' and a little 'Doctor Who'. I think now I'm going to listen to some relaxing music. I'm debating as whether to do something industrious such as going through clothes to give away or not. We'll see. But I'm definitely getting comfy first. Good night.

I am supposed to be at work

I spent over an hour digging out the car and trying to get out of the space, but got stuck half-way out and half-way in, finally managing to dig around the tyres enough to get some traction and get (mostly) in. I've called my boss to let her know I'll be late. I'll be taking the bus, and the next one I can reasonably catch is in about 50 minutes, so I have a few minutes to catch my breath and get ready for the walk over there. It does mean I can't get the medications, but I'm going to check and see if the Fayette County Sheriff's Department is still running their Winter Care programme, where they'll go get them for you. If not, I'll have to try to get there by bus, meaning leaving work really early, because our pharmacy closes at 6 pm. I'll work it out somehow. Looks like I'll get to work about 10 am, or an hour-and-a-half late. But Gods willing, I'll hopefully get there. Okay, time to start walking.

I can't believe it's just a little after 10 pm

I have:

1. Gone over to a friend's and fixed something on the computer
2. Come home and contacted someone for a friend
3. Blogged
4. Caught up on the news
5. Filled both fish tanks and cleaned out and replaced the filters, fetching about 10.5 gallons in various containers despite my back trouble (it simply had to be done)
6. Taken something for my back
7. Filled my medication holder (I forgot to do it yesterday and didn't have anything but the metformin to take today. I've graduated to a bigger pill box, as both the potassium and metformin tablets are huge, and I have a total of ten pills to put in each day's space, three of which are about 3/4 inch or more long. Fortunately a couple are tiny and two are half pills.)

I think now I'll retire to the bedroom and do some reading. I don't really want to watch any TV or DVDs right now. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I need a refill on my insulin, there's the back of course, and a couple of other issues that are pressing. I have a friend who has an appointment a few minutes after mine that I'm going to take, along with his spouse, so at least I'll have some company. Saturday I think A and I are going to watch the Silver Linings Playbook. That means I have to do the game notes early enough to have that evening free. I think it's doable, especially as most of the latter part of the evening was spent working on a puzzle that stumped Brenda and myself completely but which, when I looked at it with fresh eyes yesterday and paid attention to the help the game master had given us, I had it in something like 10-30 seconds flat. :) Hope you have a good evening.

I am an idiot

I forgot I still had some acetaminophen left over from when I was out with my ankle injury. It isn't an NSAID, so it can be taken before giving blood without a problem. I don't usually take it, but apparently NSAIDs like ibuprofen or naproxen can also affect bone healing, so I was on the acetaminophen when I had the fracture. Silly me. So yes, I took it, and hope to be feeling better and whinge-free soon.