I am feeling sad and a little frustrated

I just got home around 11 pm from running errands and helping out a couple of friends, only to find a rejection letter in my mailbox for the library assistant position I applied for. Considering the position closed only last Friday and I've already gotten the letter in less than a week, I suspect they already had an internal candidate 'who met the needs of the position' better. And yes, I'm a degreed librarian, so I wasn't sure they would even consider me for the position, even as a part-time second job. But that's why I both e-mailed and left a voicemail for the director, to ask her questions regarding the hours and whether they'd consider someone with a master's in library science, because I didn't want to waste their time or mine, and all I got back was silence, until this very short, concise rejection letter.

I'm beginning to wonder if this time next year, after the hospital becomes an ambulatory care centre, and the library is phased out, if I'll even be able to call myself a librarian, or at least be working in a library. I'm getting pretty darn discouraged, as I apply for job after job without any sort of success. I have had my degree for 23 years, have had my position for 19--I have experience, but not enough supervisory experience, or it's not in the academic or public sector, so it isn't considered. And in those few cases where a medical library position opens up, I suspect they've been snapped up by younger and more recent grads, because the perception is somehow that they're more pliable and dynamic, even though I'm devoted to lifelong learning and have very good tech skills with emerging technologies. I might have better luck if I were to move away from our library school, but beyond liking the town I live in, there's the fact that my family and support system are here, and I include my friends in that, and they rely on me in many ways. And for all the talk of the greying of the profession and how so many Baby Boomers will retire soon, well, it doesn't seem to be helping me. I've never actually worked full-time in a library setting, beyoung internships, and only went full-time (with two different jobs) in my current position six years ago, when I was 43, so I've been underemployed for years, and searching for positions most of that time. As much as I love being a librarian, and the fact that it is something I am very good at, I am beginning to wonder if I should have taken this path, as I've struggled my entire career for stability, often working second or even third jobs, all the while having enough student loans to buy a house with. It's just so frustrating.

It's been a long day in general. I slept very badly last night, and was up for two hours in the middle of the night, and when I did sleep it was with weird dreams of being able to shape and manipulate any sort of rock, gem, sand, concrete, brick, etc.--but not dirt, due to the biomass. I was up by 5:30 or 6 am, and by 6:30 I was at the Kroger gas station getting $25 in gas, followed by an hour-and-a-half trip through the mega Kroger I live near, following a prepared list. The store's so big, and I had to ask several employees for things that weren't stocked yet, or other questions, so I got tired and quit at 8 am so I could run home, drop the things off, and head to work. I finished up a few things tonight at the Chinoe Kroger (which I prefer to go to, as it's easy to get in and out) tonight, after leaving YKWIA's house. I've also paid several bills and done a lot of running around with my friends, taking them on errands, too. I also worked on YKWIA's back, which was bothering him, and we watched and episode of 'Cybil' from years ago.

So now I'm home, I've eaten some bean burritos with cheese, and I'm very, very tired, but the type where you don't readily fall asleep. And yes, I feel bad about the rejection letter. I'm trying not to take it personally, of course, that would be a bit psycho, but at this point I'm wondering if I'm on some sort of list shared by librarians for something I'm not even aware of that prevents me from being hired. I keep trying to have faith that the right position is just waiting and will come along in time to save the day--but it's hard to keep that up for very long. I have 10 months left in my job. I'm starting to feel like maybe it's time to start panicking, and I'm especially afraid of losing my health insurance, especially with our new governor mucking with things like Medicaid and the Affordable Health Care Act provisions. I may have to use COBRA, which is very expensive, and I don't know if I'll be able to. And that's with 6 months of unemployment and (presumably) a severance package. Yeah, the panic's starting to set in.

I guess I should get ready for bed and try to get some sleep. Thank you for reading and 'listening'. I don't want to sound negative, but it's just been a rough day, and I feel better having written a little about it.

Well, I made it home

which is remarkable, as I'm on mile 16 of my gas light, and the car was idling a little funny while sitting in traffic. YKWIA wanted me to help him with something, but I won't have any gas money until tomorrow and couldn't take a chance of getting stuck somewhere, so hopefully he'll be okay. We do have plans together tomorrow, though. I had a fairly slow day at work, although I did help a co-worker who was having some trouble in Microsoft Excel by finding a partial solution in an e-book I have on Excel on my Kindle. I came home, opened the last of the tuna, and ate it with some mustard and dressing on crackers. Terminix is coming tomorrow, so I'm going to work on the dining room, which is covered in clean, folded but as-of-yet-not-put-away laundry. Most of the rest of the apartment is fine, except the bedroom, and I'll just shut the door to it. :) But I may work on that, a bit, too.

I'm having a little trouble with keyboards. See, on any given day I type on an ergonomic keyboard at work, a normal one at YKWIA's (although his has almost all the letters rubbed off, and even though I touch type, that can be an issue), a swiping 'virtual' keyboard on phone or tablet, a small Bluetooth keyboard for phone or tablet, the laptop keyboard, which is smaller than a normal one, but larger than the Bluetooth, and then there's the rudimentary keyboard on my Kindle. I think all of this typing on many different platforms is affecting my ability, because the placement of the fingers is different for each one. So if you notice any typos, you'll hopefully understand. Actually, the 'backspace' and 'delete' keys are reversed on the Bluetooth and laptop keyboards, and if I am at an odd angle (like now) on the bed, I touch the touchpad of the laptop accidentally with the heel of my hand, and bad things happen, indeed.

One last thing, for now: I want to wish my Uncle Ed and Aunt Sharon a wonderful 53rd anniversary. You make a great couple.

While I am somewhat mechanically inclined

it is sometimes a bother that I'm single and live alone. At first I thought my mattress was sunken on one side because, well, I haven't turned it in a long time, mainly because it's a pillow top so you don't flip it. On closer inspection, the middle strut that goes across the bed as a support has come off on one side (at least), and the bed rails are carrying the weight of box springs and mattress, which they're not really designed to do. This has happened before. The bolt and slide sometimes come off. My bed is almost thirty years old, after all, and in the past I've put things underneath it to help keep it stable. I can fix the problem, I know how, but lifting up the mattress and box springs on my own is not as easy as it once was. I should grab a friend and make him help, in return for all the rides I give him. Maybe I can do that this weekend.

For a moment today I thought it was Wednesday, which would have been great, as I get paid very late Wednesday night (officially Thursday), but, alas, it is merely Tuesday. My gas light keeps going on and off, depending on how it affects the sensor. I'm eating crackers, and I did find a pouch of tuna, too. One more day. One day more, as the song goes. Let's hope I can get to work tomorrow and back. Our cafeteria has been letting me get things because they know I'll keep track of everything on my phone and pay on Thursday. So I'm not in terribly bad shape. But aside from the crackers, a little oatmeal, the tuna, and some pasta and sauce, things are pretty bare, so it's a good thing I get paid soon, even though most of it will go towards bills.

I did get a nice surprise today in that the Apple e-book settlement has finally been approved, and that works for other vendors as well, so in addition to the $15 I've had added to my account in the past, I just got a $60 and some change credit at Amazon to buy Kindle books with. That's quite a bit in Kindle books. I think it automatically deducts from that balance before taking anything out of my normal 1-Click form of payment, but I'm not sure, so I'll wait until I get paid and there's money in the account before I buy anything. As far as I know, I can just buy e-books with it. It's set up as a gift card balance. Thank you,  Amazon,  and I guess thank you to Apple,  too,  or more appropriately,  the people who sued over e-book pricing.

We had a brief storm today that knocked the power out briefly at work, shut down the computers, which rebooted, took out the phones for a couple of minutes, and took down our time clocks. Fortunately by the time I had to go to that appointment, the rain and lightning had stopped and the sun was back out. I just couldn't clock out, so they'll have to put it in tomorrow for me. I took YKWIA to his appointment and then to the store to get a few things, and because, I suspect, I took my umbrella, it didn't storm any more. Yay! But it was nice to get a little rain, and the wind didn't take out my geraniums or anything.

Okay, I think I'm going to do a little web surfing and see what's going on in the world. I may write later, I don't know. What I should do is go for a walk, as it's nice outside, but I'm already in my sleepshirt and fairly comfortable, sitting in front of the fan, so I'm thinking, no.

UPDATE:
I read an article that said that the Amazon credit could be used for most things (not gift cards or subscriptions,  but Kindle books,  music,  and physical items are fine.). So I used most of it on a DVD of the Miss Fisher Mysteries,  series 2, a bag,  and a phone case,  all from my wish list.  It was enough that there was no cost for shipping.  I still have $1.92 left,  and when I get paid I have a couple of Kindle books that are $2 each that I want to get,  and that will go towards that.  And it does come off your balance first unless you choose another method.  Yay!

So an uncaffeinated Rabid Librarian

is a sluggish Rabid Librarian, indeed. I had no caffeine this weekend, and I dragged all day. I don't even remember what I did Saturday, other than wish my aunt a happy birthday. YKWIA and I may have gone to the store, and I picked YKWIA and A from somewhere they'd gone to have a date out. Beyond that, I can't remember. And Sunday it took me 8 hours to do the cleaning I normally do in 2-3. (We visited a lot, too, and I did laundry, both mine and his, but still, it shouldn't have taken so long). I just couldn't seem to go any faster. Then we worked on something we'd planned to do, finished that, and it was too late to watch the Netflix movie, which I have kept with me, and maybe we can sometime this week. Our queue has dwindled quite a bit, and I'm considering cancelling the DVD plan. We didn't use it for awhile, and we have of late, but still, we average a movie a week at most. I'll think about it anyway. My streaming plan is going up by $2, and I think the DVd plan is about $8, so that would offset the increase. Every little bit helps. I just put my last $4 into the car as gas. I have 55 cents in the bank until late Wednesday/early Thursday. I'm just hoping that eighth of a tank of gas will last until then.

Anyway, I'm sorry, as a result of not having caffeine, I really didn't blog this weekend. Sorry abou that.

Last night I was itching quite a bit, but was so tired when I got home that I didn't register much other than I had some bumps on my abdomen. This morning I looked at it, and they are red spots with white, blister-like centres. There were two big ones, maybe two small ones forming. At first I thought maybe I'd gotten an infected injection site, but that's never happened, and I always use a new needle, etc. Now I did scratch myself accidentally with a needle, come to think of it, in that general area, but still, that wouldn't explain four places. Then I thought, maybe I'm having a outbreak of shingles. I have had chicken pox, I'd had a headache and was tired all weekend (but that could easily have been the lack of caffeine for both), and they were on one side of my stomach. But though they hurt when touched, they didn't hurt a lot, like shingle pain is normally described, but itched instead. Still, it could have been a mild case. But the more I investigated, the less likely that seemed--shingles are normally blisters appearing on a raised irregular red sort of shelf on the skin, going along the nerve. These were individual and spaced out. Really, the most likely thing is either folliculitis--an infection of the follicles, or some other skin infection. So instead of going to the doctor with something I'm pretty sure is minor, I'll just keep them clean, put some Neosporin ointment on them, and keep them covered with bandages, and I think we're good to go. That way in the unlikely chance they are shingles, I won't infect anyone (you can't catch shingles from another person, but in rare cases, you can have someone who hasn't been vaccinated or had chicken pox get that, as it is the same virus). I did check since I work in a children's hospital even though I'm not in direct patient care, and covering them is sufficient. So either way, it should be okay. Hopefully they'll clear up quickly.

I got an e-mail today saying that Kroger was reviewing my application. Yay! Hopefully I'll hear from them soon.

Tomorrow I take YKWIA to an appointment and hopefully get my allergy shots.

I took some of the recipes I'd found and put them in an Android phone application, and it's nice. It can be backed up to Dropbox and you can import them from web pages, although I've noticed it imports everything but the actual ingredients most of the time. Maybe it's not fully compatible with every cooking web site. But I've gone in an added those, and that's not too bad, especially as it gets the directions, which tend to be more of an issue.

Tonight I dug around in the pantry and found some Easy Mac, which I made in the microwave. It doesn't require anything other than the noodles, water, and powder pack. Now, this was one of the things I was given in a gift basket when I broke my ankle after being hit by a car...four years ago. It pretty much tasted like that, too. I did put about a half a teaspoon of butter in it and it made it creamier and mitigated the flavour a bit. But, hey, that was dinner.

I was going through a cookbook I had out from the library, and there was a great recipe for roasted peppers with baked eggs, and it had an ingredient I had never heard of--harissa. So I looked it up, and it's a paste made from chiles, spices, and olive oil, with some garlic and various other optional ingredients. It's North African. You put it in a jar and cover it with olive oil, then seal the jar, and it keeps for a month. Whenever you use it, you just put a little more oil over it. The spices were cumin seed, coriander seed, and caraway seed. You toast those, grind 'em up in a mortar and pestle (which I have) or coffee grinder (which I don't), and then put them in a food processor with the chiles (which have been soaked in hot water, with the stems and seeds removed, then you put in a little olive oil and process till you get the right consistence. Then you follow the procedure above with the jar and the olive oil. I think I'm going to try it.

So, the idea when I get paid is, along with all sorts of bills that I will pay, is to try to save money and eat healthier by cooking real food. So far I have some meals planned over the next two weeks, if I can afford the ingredients:

1. Whole wheat honey bread
2. Eggplant penne pasta
3. Potato leek soup
4. Salmon with blackberry-ginger sauce
5. Asparagus frittata
6. Roasted peppers with baked eggs (which requires the harissa)
7. Zucchini au gratin
8. Quinoa salad with avocado
9. Roasted onion and garlic potatoes
10. Slow-cooked beans (with fresh dry beans this time)
11. Lentil cashew pilaf

Breakfast will be Greek yoghurt with berries, or sometimes boiled eggs and toast. I want to get some carrots and celery and string cheese to snack on. Not every meal will be home-cooked. Some lunches might just be peanut butter and the no-sugar added spreadable fruit, with maybe soem popcorn or a piece of fruit. But I am going to try to cook more and eat more vegetables.

Okay, I'm still a bit hungry. I Think I'll have some multi-grain crackers and peanut butter, despite having already brushed and flossed my teeth. I also got all my pills put into their reminder box (I'd forgotten to do that last night, and didn't have what I needed today), stocked up my insulin so I have enough, have taken my nightly Lantus, and have stocked up on pen needles. I think I'll head on to bed soon. My computer did a bunch of updating when I first turned it on and only has about an hour's worth of charge now, so I"ll go plug the laptop up.

PS Hope you have a happy solstice (summer, or Litha, for the northern hemisphere, or winter for the southern) AND a happy full moon, as they coincide today, the first time since 1948, or so said one story I read. Also, if you're in the southwestern US, try to stay cool. THe heat wave is predicted to go up to 122 degrees in Phoenix, for example. That's insane. I used to live in the desert, and 110 was not that bad, really, but at 120 they start grounding planes because the rubber tyres start to melt. Remember, please think of your pets, whose bare paws can burn on hot asphalt and cement. I've been through some rough heat waves (over 65 days of over 100 degrees in Kansas, where there's enough humidity to make that horrible and a lot of people died throughout the midwest that year (1980)). Also, avoid throwing cigarette butts out of the car or anything else that could spark fires, as they're almost impossible to fight in those conditions. Good luck!

Today I:

1. Worked in scheduling, the library, and the revenue cycle aspects of my job.
2. Picked up a friend from an appointment after work.
3. Took another friend to an appointment.
4. Read three chapters of Hollow City while waiting at the appointment.
5. Got some gas.
6. Took my friend home.
7. Checked out Facebook and blogged.
8. Turned out all the lights except for the hallway and fish tanks, lit two lavender candles and some incense, and enjoyed the resulting scents and relaxing waterfall of the large tank.
9. Tried to get the wind-up clock that my dad brought from Japan on the way back from Southeast Asia during the Vietnam War to stay going. I can't quite seem to get it level, even when using a level, and it will run for about 10 minutes and then stop. Yet again, this has happened, although I thought I'd actually gotten it for a few minutes.
10. Updated some things on the computer.
11. Set my Dropbox settings so it doesn't automatically connect. Often when I'm at my friends' house, I turn off the Wi-Fi because they don't have it there, and I don't want my battery on the laptop going down. But then Dropbox tries to connect when I turn the computer back on at home, and it takes what seems like forever (but seriously, at least a half an hour) to get the connexion menu to come up so I can even connect, and I think it's because Dropbox is stuck in a connexion loop, as the computer isn't connected, but it's trying to. When I changed the settings I suddenly had control over my computer again. It was a little sluggish, so something else is happening too. This doesn't happen on the desktop--Windows 10 actually sped it up, but it's connected at all times. The laptop is a different story entirely. I must figure out what settings or programs are interfering with things. I can right click to get the menu on the start button, but not left click it, for example, while it's bogged down doing something. And I checked, it wasn't automatically going into update mode or anything. Maybe it's the AVG anti-virus program, but it doesn't seem to be updating or scanning when this happens, although, of course, it's running in the background. Any ideas?
12. Was going to go ahead and work on the notes for awhile, but decided I've already spent too much time just fiddling with the computer, and my wrists are hurting already. I think I'll get the recording over to the laptop from the voice recorder, at least, but the rest of it will have to wait till Friday (as tomorrow I'm over at YKWIA's watching 'Heroes Reborn' with him, after a trip to the pharmacy for a medicine we couldn't get the other day because A was so busy he forgot to go to his appointment and get his prescription, which he got today instead. We just couldn't go to the pharmacy today because YKWIA had an appointment, and I couldn't do both and get it all accomplished by the time the pharmacy closed and still get him to his appointment. So, tomorrow it is.

I think I'm going to blow out the candles and head back to the bedroom, maybe listen to some music. I'm also going to run the dishwasher. I'd like to watch something on Netflix, but I don't think I'd make it a full hour if I tried, much less two. I'm going to try to go to work early tomorrow and make up a half-hour that I'm short on. Normally I'm in scheduling Monday through Wednesday, but our clinic numbers are high tomorrow so it's Tuesday through Thursday this week. I've spent all of today thinking it was Tuesday as a result. :)

Waiting to eat dinner

I take a medicine that requires me to wait fifteen to forty-five minutes before eating breakfast and dinner. The nice thing is that I was able to get groceries today and some essentials like deodorant and shampoo, which were running out. There wasn't much left in the pantry, except some popcorn and a big can of pasta sauce. :) I got some fruit and salad makings, too, so that should be good. I ate a very intensive vegetable-laden meal today after almost two weeks of peanut butter and bread, and my system totally balked. But hopefully it will do alright from now on. I was able to get some yeast and vital wheat gluten (the latter is for making whole wheat bread fluffier), salt, sugar, honey, oats--all the things I've been making bread from. I'm going to continue that as a way to save money. While I did eat at the work cafeteria today, I'm going to start doing that less and bring my lunches. I don't have much leeway with my bills, and I will still be behind, but I decided food and gas could not be skipped, and just tried to save wherever possible. I did get 50 cents off a gallon of gas at Kroger, so even though I was on my gas light again, it took $31 to fill the car. Yay!

Oops, I did mean to stop by the pharmacy and see if they had any left-handed braces I could wear at night. I have a right-handed one, and I used it last night, and it felt much better than the left upon waking. I woke up in the middle of the night with my left hand clenched in a fist; that can't be helping. I may go out again later, or try tomorrow. At least that's something I can get with my flexible spending card, I think.

Today was a catch-up day at work, since I was off yesterday, but I got all of Tuesday's and Wednesday's charges in and really worked my referral queue. Tomorrow I'll work on catching up on some other things. I also need to place a book order for the library before the end of the month and also one for our early literacy project. So perhaps that can be done tomorrow.

It's very pleasant outside today, sunny and cooler. After I eat I need to pay some bills and do some things around here, including taking the trash out that I just made from cleaning out the refrigerator to put new stuff in. I had to look up whether to put an uncut watermelon into the fridge or not (they keep better outside, so long as it's fairly cool). I found one that wasn't huge for a reasonable price. I must say my excursion to the Chinoe Kroger was very nice. They've been remodeling, and I think they're mostly finished--the carts were inside and they had real doors again. :) I love it because it's smaller than the one I live near, and go out of my way to stop by when I need anything.

Okay, I'm going to eat now and look at the news, something I've avoided doing all day.

Today I was off from work

I had a nerve-wracking drive across town early this morning to see my psychiatrist, and the gas light was on the whole way (it had gone off yesterday, but then it came back on this morning). I hadn't been able to get in touch with the my friends the day before to ask if they could help me out, so I just went over on a wing and a prayer. The doctor (finally) got the notes from my psychological testing and gave me a sample package of Strattera, a medication I'd been on before for my Attention-Deficit Disorder. Before though, I don't think we went as far up in the dosage as this will be eventually. My experience before was that Adderall seemed to have more effect, but it also may have made my heart race a few times, so he thought the Strattera would be safer. Also, it works through the day and night, as opposed to the others, plus, it's not a controlled substance, so I don't have to pee in a cup monthly to be sure I'm not abusing or selling my meds. So, we'll try it and see. I see him in a month for my other refills.

I went over to my friends' house afterwards, again, just praying I wouldn't run out of gas. A had called right before my meeting with the doctor, and I'd explained the situation. We visited for awhile and then about 1 pm I went and got gas, and then I took them to run an important errand. Then I dropped YKWIA off at their house and took A with me to my orthopaedic appointment, as he had a nearby doctor's appointment himself in a little over an hour after mine. It took awhile to be seen--I thought we were going to be late to his appointment. The EMG shows carpal tunnel, but very mild, so while it could be causing my symptoms, it could also be arthritis, which I definitely have in my thumbs. The doctor suggested giving me cortisone shots in my wrists to see if it got better; if it does, it very well could be carpal tunnel, although it's rare that it would come back. If not, it may be the arthritis and the fact that my ulna (the smaller long bone in the lower arm) is congenitally short on both sides. And my left wrist has been broken at some point in my life, unbeknownst to me, so that's an interesting tidbit I didn't know before going about the pain in my hands. Then he had me talk things over with an occupational therapist on exercises that could help and things I should do at work. I'm going to have the occupational therapy department at work do an ergonomic study of my desk setup. He said the fact I had a drawer that went under the desk may be a problem, depending on the height of my chair, as it tends to make the wrists extend up. He also thought I should brace my wrists loosely at night to keep them from flexing one way or the other. So basically they're treating it like carpal tunnel in the hopes it won't get worse. The cortisone shots hurt a bit but not nearly as much as I expected, and the syringe and needle weren't terribly intimidating. He did it quickly and it wasn't too bad, actually.

After my appointment, we went over to A's, an office where we share a doctor. I think I fell asleep out in the waiting room, when I should have read for a bit. Then we went back to their house and then out to Captain D's to pick up food. YKWIA and I watched an episode of 'Lost Girl' and then one of 'The Vampire Diaries'. We were all tired after a full day and I came on home just before dark. I've been working on some photos for my characters, gleaned from the Internet, which I can put on my character sheets.

Okay, I think I'm going to go read some of Grave Secret, by Charlaine Harris, for a bit, and then maybe call it a night. I did find out that my car will go at least 25 miles on its gas light, so yay for that. It's back to work tomorrow morning. It was a busy day at work today (many, many kids in clinic), so I'll have lots of data entry to catch up on. :) It was nice to have the day off, and important to, although I think I have exhausted my PTO except what I'll accrue over this pay period, which isn't great, as Labour Day is almost here. I should have that covered, though, if I can manage to keep my time on an even keel. I stayed late the other day to help make up time from my EMG. I'll go in a little early tomorrow morning, if I can, to help with that. I think I'm just a half hour off my time at this point. Have a good night.

Found a book lurking among others

that was supposed to go back to the library today, but I couldn't find it. When you have upwards of three thousand books, it's easy for one small paperback to hide among the camouflage. But I did find it, and if I can drop it by tomorrow morning on the way to work, that would be great, because there won't be a late charge since they won't be open yet. But I have to go back after work because a hold has arrived for me and I need to check it out.

Of course, that may present a difficulty, as my gas light came on while on the way home from my friends' house, and I have no money in cash or my account, no way to charge gas, and barely even any change. I could probably rely on my friends to help, especially as I have an errand to take them on Wednesday, but that doesn't help me get to work tomorrow. I can probably get there, but beyond that, I'm not sure. I get paid on Thursday, so that's one good thing, although most of of it is already allocated.

Today I:

1. Had a hard time waking up.
2. Forgot to put my dentures in (I retrieved them later).
3. Got criticised for my hair (back with a band that looks like braided hair) and an earring with a cuff that has a butterfly on it.
4. Got half a tank of gas, as I was on my gas light, which was good, as gas prices went up later in the day.
5. Took a friend to the doctor and laboratory.
6. Took him home.
7. Went to work.
8. Had a spicy grilled feta cheese sandwich and some fries at my desk.
9. Drove through a torrential downpour, with lots of water on the road, accidents, trees down, lights off, stalled cars, etc., but with minimal trouble, as I was just careful. I did almost hit someone who came out of an apartment complex across two lanes of traffic while I was coming up into the turn lane to the side of them, as I almost didn't see her in time, but it was all okay.
10. Went and got three medicines for two friends, plus mine, at the pharmacy.
11. Brought over the meds.
12. Got tickled. A lot.
13. Took a friend to the grocery store. Got plums, soda, and a pint of chocolate milk for myself. Failed to get fish food, and the goldfish are out of theirs.
14. Came home and got in before it started raining again.
15. Ate a plum and a can of lima beans for dinner.
16. Checked out Facebook, the news, and Google Play.

Tomorrow the plan is (I'm off from work):

1. Go to my psychologist at 8 in the morning to get the full results of my testing.
2. Go get my friend and take him to Frankfort for an errand.
3. Go to my ophthalmologist.
4. Go by the library and return two books I should have returned today.
5. Go by the pharmacy and exchange a medicine that was accidentally switched with another one that was needed.
6. Pick up a friend at work.
7. Take said friend home to eat some dinner himself, as well as feed his animals.
8. Take said friend to class.
9. Teach the Wednesday night class.
10. Take him home.
11. Check on my other friend.
12. Go home and crash.

I really should go over the material for class tonight. I may. Or I may just turn in early and hope to get it done while I'm waiting at various waiting rooms tomorrow. :)

So

I just got home,it's just now noon, and I've accomplished everything on my list except tree decorating (although I did manage to get the tree and ornaments out of the car and inside the house) and of course 'Grimm', which doesn't come on till 9 pm. I did not actually find a belt that was acceptable. The only ones in my size were a dull lime green. I don't care for that colour, and they barely fit, as in, the first hole might have worked. I'll try to get one a size up online when I have some money. Most of the Gabriel Brothers belts were about $3.99, though, so I was a bit bummed on that front. But I got some holiday cards that were nice for 99 cents a box (I got two, so that's enough for all the departments at work and maybe for friends (I do have a few old cards that would probably be better for friends). I found my co-worker's gift, something that would normally sell for about $40 that was only $10. I also found a totally unmarked phone case that fits my phone, is purple, and is in the shape of a book. How can anyone resist such a thing? Well, I had them do a price check and it was $4.99, so I did take it. But I got out of there with very little money spent, then headed over to the gas station, where gas was $2.38, but with my Kroger points I got it for $2.18. :) I understand why our little Speedway that used to be in front of that Kroger was eventually torn down and a Tire Discounters is there now. Business really suffered, although we had great and loyal customers, too. But our 3 cents off a gallon with a card couldn't compete with one that gives you up to $1 a gallon when you use your fuel points.

When I got the tree and ornaments out of the car, I found a bag of canned goods I'd forgotten to bring in last night. I'm having canned peas right now. :)

When I went to the pharmacy, the owner gave me a tote bag with their logo on it for each of us who use them.

It's pretty cold outside, but sunny, so that's nice. I did consider going to the cinema today and using those free tickets. But I think I'll stick around the house for the afternoon, work on it, and put the tree up. But first, I'm going to take a midday nap, because I haven't been able to do that since I was off after getting hit by the car. Oh, and I almost got hit today in my parking lot when I was coming back from putting the fan out, and I stopped as soon as I realised it was about to hit me, and the guy was quite surprised to see me, so I don't know what on earth he'd been doing up to that point, but obviously hadn't seen me. In his defence, the sun may have been in his eyes. But it was a inauspicious was to start the day. And just now a truck tried to turn right while I was still clearing the intersection at Alumni and Man O'War, and almost went into me. Is it any wonder I get nervous while driving?

Today I:

1. Did not manage to get to work early like I have been and as a result was really rushed.
2. Stayed in scheduling longer than I expected to cover someone who didn't go to lunch until right when I was supposed to leave.
3. Forgot to change jobs at the time clock in the middle of the day, so I'll have to have someone add that.
4. Accepted a quote for next year's electronic journals and got the ball rolling to be invoiced.
5. Proofed a book review.
6. Put up lights in my cubicle, as well as my moose family decorations, a snowman--and a Santa hat is now perched on the skeleton's head.
7. Talked with YKWIA about the joys of dog ownership.:)
8. Stopped by Speedway and used my points to get a $10 cash card, which I then used for gas.

Now, I've eaten dinner. Things I should do tonight:

1. Start the game notes (one of my characters got shot in the game; she got better, though--I wish we had special magical healing in the real world).
2. Straighten up the house.
3. Watch 'The Librarians', which should have recorded last night.
4. I also have books to return to the library, but I think I'll wait if I can to do that when I'm over by there Thursday for a doctor's appointment. Granted, the library is practically across the street, if you count the fact that it's also a quarter of a mile away. I think I have till then.

My new haircut

I've spent thirteen hours over at my friends' house, watching 'Haven', 'Hart of Dixie', and 'Fringe', watching UK football with A, watching their cat play with the koi on my phone's live wallpaper and make the water move, and then helping YKWIA make a cake and frost it--chocolate with a bit of espresso powder in both. The cleanup is done. I am now home. I should be working on the game notes now, but I'm tired, so I'm heading on to bed with the idea of getting up very early to take care of the rest of the notes (of which I've gotten only about 1/3 finished), get gas for the car, go to the store for string cheese, crackers, and soda, and then get there by 9 am. Which is in 8 hours. Oh, and I need to remember to bring a blank CD-ROM for tomorrow.

Good night.

Would you believe

that I am about half-way through, maybe even a bit more than half-way, with my work on the game notes this week? A friend had an appointment, so I brought the laptop and worked while he was doing that. I'm over three hours into a recording that is about six hours long. Not bad for about an hour and fifteen minutes' work. Yay!

After the appointment, YKWIA, A, and I went to Joe Bologna's, which I haven't been to in years. I had the garlic breadstick (they're huge), a wonderful salad, and some vegetable lasagna. Everything was absolutely lovely, as usual. It would have been nice to get dessert (they have excellent carrot cake), but that would probably have pushed my blood sugar way up. If you're not familiar with the restaurant, it's a family-owned business serving mainly Italian food located inside a former synagogue, so there are stained glass windows and an upper dining area as well.

After we got back, I helped YKWIA with a couple of things and then came home. I really pushed it tonight; the gas light was on the whole time on the way home. I need to go to Kroger first thing in the morning. I have 70 cents off a gallon with a Kroger card, but it was too late to stop by tonight. Hopefully the gas prices won't be higher tomorrow.

Okay, I guess I should go on to sleep, since I do need to get up early. I hope you had a good start to the shorter workweek. I had a busy and unfortunately not-so-fruitful day (but it sure wasn't from lack of trying--I just ran into a lot of bureaucracy outside of my own organisation while trying to obtain a referral. And if I hear one more Sousa march any time soon, it might just send me screaming into the night.) If I can get a full-time library job somewhere, one thing I will not miss about my current job is dealing with insurance companies and all the rules they have in place that sometimes seem to be designed just so they can get out of paying a claim. I wish there was at least some consistency in the industry, anyway.

Oh, well, tomorrow is another day. Good night.

YKWIA and I discovered

that Strictly Ballroom was actually available on the streaming side of Netflix, so we cancelled that DVD and tomorrow we should be getting the 1970s series that terrified a generation of British children, 'Children of the Stones'. Strictly Ballroom was quite enjoyable and distracted me from a somewhat frustrating afternoon where little things were not going my way. I forgot that it was Thursday and the lobby of the bank closes at 5 pm, so I was too late to get a cashier's cheque for my rent today. I'll have to get it tomorrow, meaning it will cost an extra $5 for my rent. Then I went to see if I could find some de-icer at the auto parts store, because a neighbour gave me hers and I wanted to repay her, but they were out. The gas station next to it said that it had unleaded gas at $3.19, which was the cheapest sign nearby and some stations had gone up to $3.55, but the station only had some pumps working when it came to that price, and were people were lined up like crazy. I went over to the Kroger gas station instead, and it was $3.24, but with my Kroger card I saved 20 cents off, so it was only $3.04. So that went a little better. The day had started out not particularly promising--I couldn't get the upper partials in without gagging, so I just went to work with both out. But there were good things about the day, like getting my raise. I went to YKWIA's and spent some time with him, not only watching the movie, but several videos, looking at some stuff on the Internet, and listening to the Soweto Gospel Choir, which is excellent. I had a good time, but now I'm pretty tired, as it's after midnight and I think I'm going to turn into the proverbial pumpkin.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to move some boxes upstairs at work. I have to get my rent and then there's 'Grimm' at 9. I'm expecting those books tomorrow. Today I'd gotten Loreena McKennitt's new greatest hits album, The Journey So Far, which I've been listening to in the car. I think I'll go put that on in the bedroom and relax, and stretch out. I keep having small cramps in my calves that are making my legs uncomfortable--maybe stretching will help. Good night.

Well

I didn't get up early and clean like I did yesterday, because I got home about 1:30 am and stayed up to 2:30. But the house does look a little better from my endeavours yesterday. And I have a bunch of recyclables in the car I'm taking to the co-op between the two jobs today.

For it is also payday, and I have money for gas. The only reason I was able to go over to a friend's yesterday and pick his husband up from work was because a random lady in the parking lot at work, who had seen me check a gift card to see if there was money on it, gave me $4, and then the manager who was filling in for my boss (who just had her wisdom teeth out) told me to pump another $4 that he'd kicked in. So thank you to both of them. I've done the same for others, so I guess it's coming back to me. So the first order of business today is to go by the store and get some gas and some money, and then go to job #1, where my goal is to clean out storage in our attic as part of our big 'fall haul'. I work the truck tonight, but I've got two hours between jobs and I need to run some errands--the recyclables and also I have something waiting for me at my post office, which is on the south end of the big double circle with radiating streets that is Lexington. I'm on the east side. I only know of five post offices in town, although there may be more. But I'm in another zip code entirely from this one and it's about 8 miles away. Makes no sense that it would be the closest, hmm? Oh, well.

Okay, I'd better go. Whenever I go to the store I usually get sucked into a conversation with my boss, and so I'll need some extra time. :)

I have a few minutes before I have to go to work

at the gas station. Yesterday, there was a gas run in Lexington. The rumour was that a station in Nicholasville had raised its prices to $4.75 (nearly a dollar jump), and that ones in Lexington would follow suit, no doubt because of Ike, the hurricane.

When I stopped by one at Tates Creek and Malabu, they were four deep. I stopped last night at the store down the street from ours; they actually ran out of gas entirely. I said something about the rumour and the clerk told me that his sister said that it was $6 where she lives in Indiana. I don't know about that; I know our attorney general would have a fit and threaten action pretty fast. Near midnight the gas was $3.85. It had risen that morning from $3.71, which seemed reasonable given the hurricane. But $4.75? We'll see.

I wonder what the gas price will be when I go into work--and if we'll get any gas business, since just about everyone except me (I didn't have the money) filled their tank yesterday.

I could have easily died tonight

I was coming back from getting my friend from work, had dropped him off, and was mainly concerned with getting home with my gas light on empty. I was driving down Man O'War road (a big circle on the outskirts of Lexington, one I live right off of) in the rain, when a fire department ambulance came out of one of the side roads as I was very, very close to the intersection already.

I didn't have time to brake gently, and if I went right on through we could have collided. So I broke hard, but they locked, and it sent me into a wide 270-degree spin in the middle of the intersection, going into the oncoming side (there were no cars coming, thankfully), and I narrowly avoided hitting the median on the way back to my side of the road. The ambulance waited for me to start back up again and show I was okay by moving back the other sixty degrees, and then went on.

I shook the rest of the way home. I'm glad A wasn't in the car. He would have utterly freaked, and I'd rather if I died in an accident not to take anyone with me--and YKWIA would never forgive me. I have to admit I did alright at the time--it was just afterwards where I was a bit of a wreck, but I managed to hold it together until I got home. I parked the car and could not get out of it soon enough.

I'm going to curl up in my unmoving bed and go to sleep. It's not 100% safe (storms could rip the building up around me, I suppose, or a car could crash through) but those are so infinitesimal in probability, I'm willing to take my chances. Good night.

Home safely, for now

Reading: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris (a favourite mystery writer--her Aurora Teagarden mysteries have a librarian as protagonist--and well, I'm not sure where you'd put the vampire stuff...it's not exactly horror, mystery, or romance, but a bit of all three).

So we're in the midst of our first (and presumably only at this late date) substantial winter storm, getting a mix of snow and ice right now and expecting 6-10 inches of snow by tomorrow afternoon. I, of course, did my nightly midnight run to pick up a friend who works second shift. Fortunately we decided against the grocery run tonight, so I am home where it is warm not out in the wind having ice pelt against me. The roads weren't bad at all yet and the snowploughs are out doing what they can. It should be interesting when I wake up tomorrow, and of course I work 10 hours then.

I did stop at a gas station on the way that had not changed its price today. It was at $2.14 a gallon and most of the stations in town jumped up to $3.25. (It's the same company I work for--I suspect the manager forgot to change it before he left.) I was ranting about the prices being jacked up when YKWIA thought I should take a page from the eco-terrorist group ELF and torch a gas station in protest (okay, Homeland Security, he was joking). He said I needed an acronym of my own and came up on the spot with TROLL (Terribly Rabid Overweight Liberal Librarian). (Yes, this is my best friend of 20 years--with friends like these....) Seriously, all ribbing aside, I had to admit it was funny. And Trolls can beat up Elves anyday, though they aren't so nice to look at. (Just for the record, I consider myself to be environmentally conscious--and was before it became trendy--but I don't believe any cause is helped by those who blow up things, destroy property, and who do so without regard for human life.)

At $3.25 a gallon I'm going to hear a lot of complaints/possibly deal with drive-offs tomorrow. Maybe everyone will stay home. I guess we won't have many car wash sales then. Of course, by Sunday it's supposed to be clear yet cold and by Tuesday it'll be in the 50s. Welcome to Kentucky weather.

YKWIA is always on the lookout for blog material for me, since he finds such interesting and random things online. Today's haul included the following videos, which didn't so much harm him (he's Jewish--all will be self-evident) as leave him just staring at the screen in disbelief. They threw him. (Chuckle). I, for one, found the first to be great. I wish my Hebrew was better to read the slogans in the second one.)

'Japanese Fiddler on the Roof'


(I figure lots of Europeans, including Jewish ones, play Japanese people in theatre (I give you the Mikado, for example). Why not Japanese playing Jews?)

Then there are the Japanese Jews who converge upon Israel once a year in pilgrimage...


According to YKWIA, they are singing a song about the Sabbath. I love the blend of Japanese and Jewish culture. The cranes of peace with Shalom are perfect. How does he find these things?

I've been kind of terse lately, sorry about that

The Time of No Money has stretched further than I thought. I've started getting cheques from the gas station now, but it's been very tight. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten that my AAA fees come out of this and the next paycheque at the hospital. That coupled with the fact that some of my vacation time didn't get put in means that although I have my actual rent, I don't have the late fees ($50 for the 6th, plus $5 a day thereafter). My rent was due on the 5th. The good news is that my gas station cheque was about twice what I thought it would be, so I'm only $60 short for my rent as of tomorrow.

Yesterday it seemed worse. I was afraid I would lose the apartment and be living out of my car. I broke down last night and was absolutely miserable.

My mother, apparently sensing a disturbance in the Force, called this morning (I didn't hear the phone, as I am usually still asleep when she gets off work) and left a message asking how I was, how my foot was coming, and how my baby was doing (meaning Cerys). I haven't talked to her since mid-September, so she doesn't know I put Cerys down yet. I called her back tonight but we're playing phone tag. I really don't want to borrow money from my mother (I know all their kids tend to show up at payday with their hands out), but it may be the best solution, and it's not a lot of money. (Okay, it's a lot to me, but not for most people). On the other hand, last time I was home, John and Momma mostly complained about the kids wantng money every paycheque. I just plan to tell her how things are going and ask if she can help. If she can't, I talked to the rental office today and here's the thing: They'll file for eviction seven days after the notice that I received Tuesday. I get paid Wednesday or Thursday at the store, and it will be a pretty big cheque, at 25 hours (most are about 15 hours) and I get about 88% of my gross pay as net (which may explain why I still had a tax liability this year). As long as I pay the rent, late fees, and $100 in court costs before the actual court date, I can stay. I did some calculations and worse case scenario I would still be short by about $15, but I should be able to borrow that from someone. Of course, none of this includes gas or food. In the meantime, I'm working 18 hours on top of my other 20 this week so hopefully that will help the week after.

I'd rather not pay that much more; however, I'm glad I'm less likely to be out on the street. I don't know how hard it would be to get an apartment with my credit and with the evictions on my record. But I feel a little better today about being able to stay here. So I'm a little, a smidge, less stressed today. In the meantime, I have my phone ringer set to 'high' in case my mom calls. And it's also temporary, as are most things.

I saw a hawk today, flying overhead

I decided to take it as a good omen, for the Time of No Money is ending (I got paid tonight), to be followed by the Time of Tight Money. Today I borrowed some money from a co-worker so I could get home and then pick a friend up from work later. Since I was on mile 36 after the gas light came on, I think I was close to winding up stranded on the side of the road (and I don't have minutes on my cell phone for calling AAA). Thanks to Michelle, that wasn't the case, and when I went to the grocery store after midnight I got the money I needed to pay her back tomorrow. I also paid my friend back for the $5 he contributed the other day. It was a difficult time (I have almost nothing left in the cupboards in the way of food), but hopefully since I'm starting back to work at the gas station tomorrow it will get better. So, yay--tomorrow will be the time for a proper grocery run, more minutes for my phone, and more gas.

I have been seeing crows about a lot, too--usually in groups of two or three, which are also good omens. (Seeing only one crow, raven, or magpie [the article lists versions of the counting rhyme] is usually considered bad in folklore, which pays attention to the numbers, hence the song 'A Murder of One' by the band Counting Crows). Of course, in the movies and folklore they also get a bad rap for being evil, when they're really quite intelligent and engaging. We don't have magpies here in Kentucky, of course, and I don't think we have ravens, but we do have crows. I was listening to them the other day and now only do they 'caw', but there's a comforting gurgling sound they make, too. We did have ravens out in California and they were HUGE. You'd see them a mile away on dry lake beds in the Mojave. They looked like they'd go up to your knees. [They're about 22-27 inches high as opposed to road runners, which we also had, were smaller, maybe 20 inches high--certainly smaller than you'd expect from watching the cartoon. Of course, coyotes aren't really that big, either, and don't stand on their hind legs. :)]