Today we didn't play the game

Brenda was away on a Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) trip. I did my laundry, helped my friend clean his house, visited with him quite a bit, and then watched the following with another friend:

• 'Lost Girl' ("Into the Dark"--the penultimate episode of season 2, which was excellent)
• Tucker and Dale vs. Evil--I wasn't sure about this one, but watched it on YKWIA's recommendation. I enjoyed it quite a bit.
• Clueless--yes, I had never seen it, and yes, I enjoyed it.

Now I'm home, and I think I'm going to take it easy before going to bed. I'm pretty much watched out as far as movies and television, and if I try to read at this point, I'll probably just fall asleep. Maybe I'll listen to some music. Good night--hope you had a great weekend. The upcoming week will be very busy--high clinic numbers during my scheduling days, two appointments to take a friend to, dressing up on Thursday for Halloween at work, and another friend's birthday to celebrate. So anyway, I'm glad I got a lot of rest this weekend--I'll need all the energy I can muster.

So one of my several majors in school

was Classical Civilisation, and I am a Classics geek. [My BA degree is in history and sociology, with an honours programme, but I went back after graduating with my master's in library science and completed the classical civilisation major and a minor in Judaic studies. I was, sadly, only one class away from completing a linguistics major--phonological analysis was never taught at a time that fit into my schedule in all the years I was in school.] One good thing about my education is that I can read both Classical and Mediaeval Latin, between the Classics courses and the graduate work I did in history. I didn't get as far in Greek, though, dropping out about the time we got to the aorist tense, which Wikipedia defines as 'a term for a set of verb forms that usually express perfective aspect and refer to past events, similar to a preterite.' But, it continues, 'The word comes from Ancient Greek aóristos "indefinite", as the aorist was the unmarked (default) form of the verb, and thus did not have the implications of the imperfective aspect, which referred to an ongoing or repeated situation, or the perfect, which referred to a situation with a continuing relevance; instead it described an action "pure and simple".' If that makes your brain hurt, well, it did mine as a well. I would like to go back and study my Ancient Greek textbooks (I have both of the first two semesters' worth).

But even though my Greek isn't that great, I still love things to do with Classical Greece, and one mystery series I'm working my way through is Gary Corby's, which is set in the childhood of Socrates. In fact, the main protagonist is Socrates' brother. The first book of the series is The Pericles Commission. Then there's The Ionia Sanction, The Marathon Conspiracy, Sacred Games (I have all of those, though I'm still reading), and finally Death Ex Machina.

I also read Gary Corby's blog, A Dead Man Fell from the Sky..., the title of which is taken from the first line of his first book. I started reading it before he actually had any of his books published officially, and found it to be quite enjoyable. The latest entry is on Classical Greek music and I really enjoyed it. If you are interested in Greek, Classics, or music, You should check it out. And you might check your library for his books as well.

After sleeping till 11 am, I got up and ate, and then got cold (which almost never happens), so I crawled back in the bed and didn't come out till 2 pm. So I got a LOT of rest. A and I went on a two-hour journey through two grocery stores in order to get everything on the list, including the one nearest me, which is a huge Kroger that has clothes and housewares as well. But they didn't have the right creamer, so we stopped by Chinoe's Kroger for that. After that, YKWIA splurged slightly and we got dinner from Jin Jin, so I went and picked that up (I had my usual, Kung Pao Tofu). We ate, A watching a classic movie about the Roosevelts, and YKWIA and I watching an episode of 'Lost Girl' on Netflix. Then I left, because they wanted to watch the premiere of 'American Horror Story: Hotel' (I'm just not into that show--I watched 'Coven', but I haven't seen the others, and YKWIA thinks I'm just a wuss because it's too scary for me.) So I came home, and I watched the final episode of the second season of 'Sherlock'. I'd though I hadn't seen much of it, but I had. But I haven't watched the episodes from the third season yet, and so it set those up. Now I'm listening to the OneRepublic Pandora station, with candles and incense burning, and the windows open. It's a pleasant night, and there were no game notes to do because we haven't played in two weeks (due to a wedding and an illness), and I got the notes finished quite some time ago.

I think before I go to bed I'm going to do a little reading. I didn't the other day when I thought I would; I was just too tired. I'm more than halfway finished with my book (Hollow City, by Ransom Riggs, and I'd like to go ahead and finish it. There is a third book in the series out called Library of Souls. That's not one I own; I'll have to get it through the library. I really do like the series, and I am concerned about what Tim Burton is going to do with the film adaptation. There is an excellent book trailer for Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children on YouTube:



Hmmm...the other day I found two unused AA batteries; now my mouse is dying, so I changed them out. Serendipity, indeed. And yes, I turn my mouse off, usually, after each use. Which is why the batteries have lasted at least two years.

Okay, I think I'll go do that. I'm listening to 'I Lived' by OneRepublic right now. I love that song. But I'll do some reading and then turn in, as Sunday morning will come soon enough and I need to go over and help get the house ready for company and get it ready for the game. A wants to take a walk and plant tulips and a hyacinth, too, so we'll see if we can get it all worked into the normal busy Sunday schedule. :)

For someone

Who does not normally watch television,  I am fairly committed this season:

Monday: 'The Big Bang Theory' and 'Minority Report'
Tuesday: 'iZombie'
Thursday:' Heroes Reborn'
Friday: 'Grimm'  (starting October 30th)

It would be Wednesday,  too,  but I'm too wussy for 'American Horror Story'.  And of course,  'Doctor Who'  is an issue with YKWIA,  who can't understand Peter Capaldi. So Saturday is more for Netflix,  like 'Lost Girl'  and 'Haven'. (YKWIA also won't watch SyFy due to how they spell their logo,  so we catch those shows on Netflix rather than cable.)  ;)

Okay,  good night!

Tired

Apex Janice Mary Jane shoe

I went into work by 7 this morning, even though my normal Thursday time is 8:30 am. I was trying to make up some time, as I had an appointment about mid-morning at the podiatrist to pick up my diabetic shoes. They're very nice--Mary Janes that are actually wide enough for my feet (7 extra wide; my foot is about as wide as it is long). The doctor was a little concerned about the straps, which are a kind of Y-shape with Velcro fastening, in a sort of hook and loop. But the nice thing is that I can wear them with pants or skirts, socks or hose, and they're pretty comfortable, although I'm breaking them in. I also got some inserts that can be moulded to the foot by using a hair dryer to warm them, sticking them into the shoe, and then inserting the foot and standing on them a couple of minutes. I'm allowed one pair of shoes a year--my insurance pays for them--and over the last three years I've gotten some New Balance walking shoes, a pair of A2 boots for winter wear, and now these for dress wear, so I'm pretty set on shoes at the moment. The other great thing about the Mary Janes is that they are closed toe but don't have a heel (I can't walk in heels), and if I were to get a job at the Lexington Public Library, one of their rules is closed-toe shoes only, so the Vionic sandals I wear in the summer would be right out, and these make a great alternative, as they're not heavy like my others. The podiatrist did want to see me back in 9 weeks to do another x-ray; last time he discovered a piece of bone had broken off and might be causing some of the mild pain I've had in my ankle. He suggested getting a sleeve for my ankle (which I did) and also checking with the representative who delivered my bone stimulator three years ago to see if it can be reset and used. My understanding is that it's a single use, single person device that shuts itself off after about 270 days. If that's the case, I have a $5,000 paperweight in my closet, which did help a lot in terms of building up my ankle after I broke it, but may not be used now, and might as well be recycled. But I'll see. I doubt my insurance would pay for another one due to a fragment of bone that's come loose. But he thought the sleeve would at least provide a little support, and if I could get the bone stimulator reset, it might help the situation.

Today I also got my flu shot and TB skin test. After work, I went and got some medicine for my friends and I. I accidentally got home with someone's dementia medicine (Aricept/donepezil), so I need to take that back. After that I took care of one of my friends who wasn't feeling all that great. We watched 'Heroes Reborn'. I recognised Harris as the same actor who played the first Ash in 'Lost Girl' (he has an extremely deep and hypnotic voice, and comes off a bit creepy because of it), so I felt a little proud of myself. But despite having great blood sugar all day (it was 126 this morning before breakfast) and taking my medicine, I was a little off when dealing with YKWIA--I just didn't seem to get the banana at times. That might just be me being tired for having been up since 5:30 or 6 am, and waking up practically every hour on the hour throughout the night.

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to go on to bed. I think I'll totally unmake the bed this time, because I want to rub some lemon lotion on my feet and give them a good rub, and I think the lotion would discolour the comforter, but not the blanket. Good night.

So today I went for a walk with a friend and two dogs

and we went from his house to a public park with a large pond and adjoining marshy area, which was quite nice. Each of us took a dog, he the spastic smaller one, and me the more docile one that isn't really used to a leash, so she kept hugging in close to me. I almost fell twice, despite the paved path, once because I found a drop off into a hole, and once due to some mud at the edge of the walk. I was covered in sweat and short of breath when I got home, although the total walk was not even a mile. According to my phone, which isn't entirely accurate, as I've left it out of my pocket a few times today, but I had it then, I've walked almost 7,000 steps today and a little over 3 1/2 miles. So I guess that's good. I've walked more, but I don't usually walk at that fast a pace. So I definitely got some exercise. I visited for awhile and then watched 'Lost Girl' with my other friend, and then the first friend and I went to the grocery store. Now I'm back home, and I want to work on the game notes, as we will probably not be gaming tomorrow (Brenda's son got married today down at Cumberland Falls, and I'm sure she'll be very tired), but on the off chance she does want to, I should have them finished, and if she doesn't, they'll be ready for next time and I won't have to worry about them any further. So that's the plan. I'm going to go work on them now.

I've been having some quiet time

checking the news, Facebook, and e-mail, as I didn't really do that over the weekend, which was spent with friends, as usual. L'Shanah Tovah to my readers who are Jewish. May this coming year bring blessings. I was a little late with the well wishes, but the holiday is still technically going on.

Today wasn't quite as hectic as I thought it might be, considering it was a Monday with many people coming in for clinic. There weren't a lot of reschedules or phone calls, so I could keep up while figuring out how to do things after not doing them for eight months. The very first reschedule I made an error, and I don't know who it was (it was a phone call, not a voicemail, so I didn't write anything down), but my boss thinks she can run a report that will catch the problem in time. Everything after that went pretty smoothly, though.

I'd gone in early to do some work in the library before going over to scheduling, worked there from 9 am to 12:15 pm, and then had lunch with the group of co-workers I usually eat with. Then I went back to my desk and furiously put in outpatient charges, trying to get caught up before leaving for an appointment at 2:30 pm. I got a lot accomplished, and I didn't have any surgery charge reconciliation to do and had worked on the referrals earlier, so I'm happy with what I accomplished, but there's still more to do. After work there was the appointment, and then I spent time with YKWIA and watched an episode of 'Danny Phantom' and one of 'Lost Girl' with him. Tomorrow is my normal early day, so the idea is to get all caught up if at all possible. Then I'm going after work to a stationary shop with a friend who wants to write thank you letters to some folks. (He's the traditional sort of person, no computers, no note cards, real letters).

I should work on the game notes tonight, and I did transfer the recording over to the computer, but I'm kind of liking the quiet. I'd brought the fan out to the dining room, after cleaning off the table and putting things away, and so the only sounds in the room are the fan and the gently falling of water in the aquarium. It's so peaceful. Originally when I sat down, I'd considered listening to some music. But this is more restful.

I think I need to get away from the computer for awhile, though. My hands and wrists are hurting. The bracing at night and during the workday is helping overall, though. But I think I will take some ibuprofen tonight before bed. Maybe if we can find the stationary fairly quickly, I can come home tomorrow and work on them then. Good night.

I have

Turned off the alarms on my phone for tomorrow; I have the day to myself and plan to sleep in. Beyond that,  I want to get the house straightened up,  as I may have people over Thursday.

Today we had the game.  I started the notes last night but got sleepy with an hour left in the recording,  and finished it this morning,  but it took two hours to finish because there was a lot of description towards the end that I couldn't skip.

My ankle has been giving me problems all day,  so A did a lot to help me with the housework. The game was interesting,  with a lot of investigation,  with murder,  witchcraft,  and heresy afoot. After the game,  I made YKWIA some food and watched an episode of 'Lost Girl'  with him.  Now I'm home,  after finding a parking spot finally,  the worst I've ever encountered in terms of finding a space since I moved here eleven years ago, and dragging in my laundry,  the laptop,  food,  and my tote bag that I'm using as a purse.

So now it's off to bed.  Good night!

When I got home this evening

the first thing I did was fire up the laptop for the purpose of working on the game notes, as Brenda can play tomorrow after all. I have eaten, caught up on the news, checked Facebook, and now realise that I am actively avoiding doing them. So it'll probably be my standard late night typing frenzy again this weekend.

I'd brought the computer with me to my friends' house today, but with taking A to get his haircut, visiting with YKWIA, going to the grocery store, going by Gumbo Ya Ya's, and watching an episode of 'Lost Girl' and some YouTube videos, I never even opened it. I didn't seriously think I would, but sometimes it happens. For example, yesterday I got over there, and YKWIA let me in, then went to sleep before I even put my stuff down, having gone back to the bed. So I read some Aristotle he'd suggested (on the four causes) and some of Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris. A had been working late, so we woke YKWIA up when he got home. When I got home last night, I was pretty sleepy (yesterday was an early day at work), so I went on to bed myself.

I've been a little out of sorts all day. I love A, but he can chatter, and that annoyed me more than usual. The TV was way too loud for me. That sort of thing. I stopped at a stop light with A in the car and then started to go like it was a stop sign, with a car starting to go through the light from the other side. I stopped in time, but I was just not quite together today. Eating helped, but not entirely. I'm not sure what the deal is; I've felt like I was in a fog, and when we got home and went to eat, I checked my blood sugar and it was fine, so it wasn't that. I guess it was just an off day, and I think according to my calendar it's almost time for my menstrual cycle to start, so maybe that was part of it.

Okay, now I'm just delaying when I shouldn't. Those notes aren't going to transcribe themselves. :)

Today we didn't have a Cthulhu game

So I slept in till 10 am (which was great, as I was up late last night baking bread). I took my laundry over to my friends' house as well as three trash bags of clothes to donate through Cedar Lake (they normally donate there, and they'll come pick it up at their house, and they can leave them on the front porch, as opposed to me, who cannot put anything in my apartment building hallway). I did my laundry, did the normal chores I do over there (although A did the sweeping and mopping--he offered yesterday if I would wash the dishes). YKWIA and I watched an episode of 'Lost Girl'. I had the Fae pegged in that one, immediately recognising a Nightmare and figuring out the other was a Sandman. What can I say, I've had a lifelong interest in folklore, so I usually figure out what each person is; the only one I had trouble with was Hale, who is a Siren, and that's mainly because most Sirens in folklore are female. It's a really interesting show. The story is about a woman, named Bo, who is a Succubus, meaning she feeds on sexual energy. She has a roommate, Kenzie, who is human. She was adopted out in the Midwest and doesn't know who her real parents are, and has been on the run for ten years because when she feeds, she kills her lovers. She discovers she is a Fae, a supernatural creature who is basically immortal (but can be killed), and the Fae have an entire society unknown to humans. Fae feed off humans in some way, whether it's their dreams, their lifeforce, their bodies--they include Werewolves, Vampires, Brownies, Red Caps--all sorts of supernatural beings. Like the Fae of legend, there are Light Fae and Dark Fae--you choose one when you come of age, and Bo is forced to go through a ceremony where they expect you to choose, and instead stays unaligned and a protector of humans. It's a Canadian show with a lot of complexity. I'm really enjoying it.

Now I'm home. I've felt pretty decent today, much better in fact, but I wanted a little time to myself these evening. I'm not quite sure what's on the agenda; I think I'll wing it.

I've felt off lately

and YKWIA has noticed it too. I'm wondering if it's the Strattera I started a couple of weeks ago for attention-deficit disorder. I've been on it before, several years ago, without problem, but my mood has been somewhat depressed and blah of late. I don't know if it's my normal mood fluctuations, or if it is the medicine. I'll give it a little more time to see. I go back to my doctor in early September, and I haven't quite reached the therapeutic level yet in terms of ramping up the dose slowly. I'm close, but not there yet. So far I haven't really seen any really beneficial effects, but I'm not at the full 80 mg yet, either, of course.

Despite feeling off, I had a good day. We went out to Masala, the Indian restaurant for the buffet, and my friends picked up my meal, along with a scoop of Baskin-Robbins ice cream (pumpkin cheesecake) afterwards. Then we went to Barnes & Noble, which is in Hamburg (Masala is in Beaumont, so on opposite sides of town). I stayed in the car during that (my back was still bothering me, and the seat in the car is comfortable. Plus, I find it somewhat painful to go into bookstores when I have no money to spend). :) I accidentally left the ignition on accessory, and didn't notice because I'd turned the radio off, and the battery almost didn't start, so that was a little worrisome--but it did, on the third try, and I drove enough to get the battery back up to speed over the rest of the day. After Barnes & Noble, we went to Lowe's there in Hamburg (I had not been in that one before). After I took my friends home, A and I went and did the grocery run. After that, YKWIA and I watched an episode of 'Lost Girl' (we're in the second season, now). During that, Brenda called. Her son is getting married next month and she had forgotten that the second bridal shower was tomorrow, so she'll be going to that instead of the game. This put me off the hook for having the game notes finished by tomorrow, and it also means I can go over a little later in the day. Yay!

I've been home for awhile and have been working on revising a document with my characters' pictures in it (mostly actors and actresses that YKWIA or I thought would match them well). I put it into a format his version of Word (XP) will read--he has no desire to upgrade to one with tabs and a ribbon, so the one he had from school still suffices for him. Here are the people that were picked:

• Zooey Deschanel
• Emilie de Ravin
• Lisa Edelstein
• Melina Kanakaredes
• Dana Delany
• Anne Hathaway
• Morena Baccarin
• Max Greenfield
• Kristanna Loken

There is one character that I cannot find a photograph for, but I found a very representative drawing that worked. She was originally modelled somewhat after Gillian Anderson, but had a couple of physical transformations that made her hair white, her eyes green, but otherwise she looks like an ancient Aegyptian. That's hard to find. :) But I found a portrait of a woman who looked right who had a headdress on so you couldn't see the colour of her hair. Oh, did I mention she is both a doctor and a necromancer? Oddly enough, we have another one of those, a male non-player character that started out as a player character (until she left). He is married to the latest of my characters, the one who looks like Kristanna Loken.

Anyway, I sent that on to him. I'll print out the newer pictures (I did some revisions, based on his input) and affix them to my character sheets. So that's been a fun couple of hours.

I think I'll do some reading now. I'm wanting to watch 'Galaxy Quest', but I don't feel like going out to the living room, and the little DVD player I have is out there, so it's either hook it up here to my ancient (circa 1990) TV, or take the fan, with its wonderful breeze, out there. :)

Today I was off from work

I had a nerve-wracking drive across town early this morning to see my psychiatrist, and the gas light was on the whole way (it had gone off yesterday, but then it came back on this morning). I hadn't been able to get in touch with the my friends the day before to ask if they could help me out, so I just went over on a wing and a prayer. The doctor (finally) got the notes from my psychological testing and gave me a sample package of Strattera, a medication I'd been on before for my Attention-Deficit Disorder. Before though, I don't think we went as far up in the dosage as this will be eventually. My experience before was that Adderall seemed to have more effect, but it also may have made my heart race a few times, so he thought the Strattera would be safer. Also, it works through the day and night, as opposed to the others, plus, it's not a controlled substance, so I don't have to pee in a cup monthly to be sure I'm not abusing or selling my meds. So, we'll try it and see. I see him in a month for my other refills.

I went over to my friends' house afterwards, again, just praying I wouldn't run out of gas. A had called right before my meeting with the doctor, and I'd explained the situation. We visited for awhile and then about 1 pm I went and got gas, and then I took them to run an important errand. Then I dropped YKWIA off at their house and took A with me to my orthopaedic appointment, as he had a nearby doctor's appointment himself in a little over an hour after mine. It took awhile to be seen--I thought we were going to be late to his appointment. The EMG shows carpal tunnel, but very mild, so while it could be causing my symptoms, it could also be arthritis, which I definitely have in my thumbs. The doctor suggested giving me cortisone shots in my wrists to see if it got better; if it does, it very well could be carpal tunnel, although it's rare that it would come back. If not, it may be the arthritis and the fact that my ulna (the smaller long bone in the lower arm) is congenitally short on both sides. And my left wrist has been broken at some point in my life, unbeknownst to me, so that's an interesting tidbit I didn't know before going about the pain in my hands. Then he had me talk things over with an occupational therapist on exercises that could help and things I should do at work. I'm going to have the occupational therapy department at work do an ergonomic study of my desk setup. He said the fact I had a drawer that went under the desk may be a problem, depending on the height of my chair, as it tends to make the wrists extend up. He also thought I should brace my wrists loosely at night to keep them from flexing one way or the other. So basically they're treating it like carpal tunnel in the hopes it won't get worse. The cortisone shots hurt a bit but not nearly as much as I expected, and the syringe and needle weren't terribly intimidating. He did it quickly and it wasn't too bad, actually.

After my appointment, we went over to A's, an office where we share a doctor. I think I fell asleep out in the waiting room, when I should have read for a bit. Then we went back to their house and then out to Captain D's to pick up food. YKWIA and I watched an episode of 'Lost Girl' and then one of 'The Vampire Diaries'. We were all tired after a full day and I came on home just before dark. I've been working on some photos for my characters, gleaned from the Internet, which I can put on my character sheets.

Okay, I think I'm going to go read some of Grave Secret, by Charlaine Harris, for a bit, and then maybe call it a night. I did find out that my car will go at least 25 miles on its gas light, so yay for that. It's back to work tomorrow morning. It was a busy day at work today (many, many kids in clinic), so I'll have lots of data entry to catch up on. :) It was nice to have the day off, and important to, although I think I have exhausted my PTO except what I'll accrue over this pay period, which isn't great, as Labour Day is almost here. I should have that covered, though, if I can manage to keep my time on an even keel. I stayed late the other day to help make up time from my EMG. I'll go in a little early tomorrow morning, if I can, to help with that. I think I'm just a half hour off my time at this point. Have a good night.

I just crashed for three hours in the middle on the afternoon

and I feel a lot better. I've been busy of late, and while I have been getting rest (as opposed to last week), I guess I needed it. I hadn't had any caffeine all day, and that probably had something to do with it. But I'm good now. Here's what's been happening with my life:

Wednesdsday
1. We had our last class. It was great. I've learned so much teaching it, both from the material and from the participants. Part of the class is sharing our own experiences, and these are the real experts in dealing with things first hand.
2. We celebrated with a potluck of yummy, mostly vegetarian food (even the green beans and potatoes had no meat in them. The fried chicken and baked beans were the only things.)
3. We (the co=teachers) each got a card signed by the class, which was very sweet. Later, I read through everything on mine, and they were very nice. I have it posted on my bulletin board, along with the one my co-teacher gave me. I even kept the envelope because it was nicely decorated.
4. The other teacher and I also received two gifts: a DVD called Courageous that one of the students thought would be good for us to see, and a lovely fairy garden basket, each with symbols meant for us individually, each with plants and then tiny resin items, along with shells and driftwood set in an old dish. Mine had a lounge chair and umbrella with a pool. I've included a picture here. It's on my office desk, and I have to admit, when I went into the office on Friday (I brought it in on Thursday) and found it sitting there, it was a nice greeting. She learned to make them in a class at her local library. She also gave us little oral syringes to water the plants with. She had wrapped the DVD in butterfly paper with butterfly cutouts on the ribbon, and of course I love butterflies. She was happy to find out my middle name ('Eilir') means butterfly in Welsh.
5. After class I took went to my friends' house and made dinner for YKWIA We sat and watched an episode of 'Lost Girl', which I've been enjoying. But I got home at 12:30 am, and so Thursday morning I was still a bit tired.

Thursday
1. A busy day at work, with article requests and other things on the agenda meaning I worked very steadily through my library and data entry duties. I got several things that needed to be completed by Friday done, and felt like I'd been pretty productive.
2. I went to the library and gave in one book that was a bit late and paid the fine (yes, sometimes even librarians tend to keep the books too long, especially librarians, actually). I picked up an interlibrary loan and a hold, and some other books as well. I have a few I'd like to get from Central Library, and meant to go there today (Saturday), but didn't manage to, mainly because I left my friends' house, came home, and crashed.
3. I went to Target and got The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, which I have not yet seen (I never made it to the theatre on this one), on DVD with the gift card my co-teacher gave me in appreciation for teaching with her. spent the balance on groceries such as bread, macaroni and cheese, and spreadable fruit. Oh, and Oreos to throw a little fun into the mix. (She also gave me a Post-It notepad, seen in the picture, which is very useful, as the notes are much bigger than a traditional sticky note).
4. I 'napped'. Fortunately, I got bread at the store, because I didn't manage to stay awake long enough to bake it. I slept till almost 1 am (falling asleep around 8 or 9), tried to get up super-early on Friday, and wound up sleeping to 7 am. I think I was still working on a deficit from Wednesday night.

Friday
1. Another steady day at work. Since I'd slept so long and it was my early day, I forewent a shower (I wasn't particularly dirty), and washed up in the sink a little. My hair is the only problem when I (rarely) do this, because it is already fine and thin, and it just looks oily and flat if I don't wash it every day. So I was a little self-conscious there.
2. I got into my closet and went through a lot of books and filled up the children's books in the clinic that go with our early literacy project. I was very hot and sweaty by the time I was finished.
3. I stayed a little late at work, skipping my allergy shot, which I probably shouldn't have done, but I just felt like making up some time, and then I went over to my friends' house. I watched some more of 'Lost Girl' and visited.
4. I came home a little early, took a welcome shower, made some bread, watched an episode of 'Lost Girl' that we cannot watch together (it has spiders), and went on the bed.

Today
1. I got a call right after waking up that YKWIA needed something from the store (although it was not an emergency, it's just nothing goes much further without coffee, and there was no creamer), so I got ready, got over there, and then went and got it. I explained to him the plot points of the 'Lost Girl' I'd watched.
2. I took A to the store for the weekly grocery run. He gave me some money for gas, which was great, as my gas light came one today.
3. I watched 'Lost Girl' with YKWIA.
4. I couldn't seem to stay awake. I excused myself, stopped and got gas, came home, ate a piece of my bread, and went to sleep for three hours.
5. I got up and went online to do something for my friends.
6. Now I'd like to watch Mockingjay, but first I'm going to make something else to eat (macaroni and cheese) and start some bread going. A reminded me today that I had promised to make them some bread and also bring over some pasta and sauce I've had in the pantry for a nice meal. Whereas YKWIA rarely forgets anything, A rarely forgets anything related to food. :)

Hope your weekend is going well.

Yesterday I had a panic attack

My first in years, actually, and at first I didn't realise what was happening. It started at work during a more stressful than normal day, and unlike most attacks, lasted several hours. In fact, I don't think my heart rate went back to normal until I was in bed at home at about 9:30 or 10 pm, when it started at work about 2 or 3 pm. I was trembling, crying, my heart raced, I felt like I was going to die, and I felt almost detached from myself (I think the psychologists call that depersonalisation). Things didn't exactly feel real, but at the same time I was hyper-aware of all sorts of things and how terrible things might be. Voices, sounds--they grated on me and made me more anxious and upset. It was awful. One of my co-workers found me crying at my desk and tried to comfort me, and that helped. Being with YKWIA helped, too, and we managed to visit and watch the second episode of 'Lost Girl'. But I still felt weird and all keyed up inside. On the way home, I thought, why not just die in the car. It wouldn't matter. Then I got home, didn't bother to eat or blog, and went straight to bed, finally in a quiet room, and everything seemed to release.

I used to have these things I called 'emotional storms', which usually lasted about 20 minutes and often were triggered by driving, which is a stressor for me. I'm a bit phobic with driving. But if I could be at home and just go into the bedroom for awhile, then I would calm down. I now realise these were also panic attacks; the feeling was the same, exactly, as yesterday--the feeling of being separated from myself, almost unreal, the heart racing, being upset, being unable to interact with people and getting more and more anxious if they tried to talk to me. I am on medication, including medication for anxiety, but I'm also premenstrual, and sometimes hormones do not play nicely with my brain chemistry. I see my psychologist next week and my psychiatrist the week after that; I'll definitely mention it. But it's been awhile since I've been that scared. I knew it wasn't my heart, that I was beyond upset, and that it was my neurotransmitters. It still sucked. I have a workbook for phobias and anxiety that includes exercises to calm oneself during an attack. I'll definitely be looking that over, just in case they continue. Anyway, sorry I didn't write last night; I was utterly drained by all that anxiety. Yes, I have stressors in my life (money is a big issue right now), but it wouldn't normally have affected me like that. The trigger was the copier going down, and that happens all the time without me having a meltdown. This time I could barely function. And that's not good.

Home from the Call of Cthulhu game

and two of my characters and a non-player character that I am very fond of pulled through something that could have killed them dead, dead, dead. Two of my characters were bound magically together and were threatening to merge. I'm glad everything's back to normal now. It had a 1 in 10 chance to botch, and could have gone very badly.

Before the game I watched the next-to-the-last story of 'Wizards vs. Aliens'. I will mourn it's ending. I also did my normal cleaning, and I took A to the store for a newspaper. The game itself was fun mostly Brenda trying to collect something that would ensure that the NPC wasn't fried. After the game I made YKWIA supper and we watched the first episode of 'Lost Girl' together, saving 'Wizards vs. Aliens' for another time. I am backing peanut butter bread (I know, it sounds odd. But since I'm putting peanut butter on it, it seemed like a plan. It just has flour, salt, peanut butter, brown sugar, and yeast in it. I put in crunchy peanut butter. Yay! It should be out about 12:45 am, since I"m baking it on rapid rise mode.

I must admit, I'm a little worn out and sleepy. Good night!