I was reading about

The Great Irish Potato Famine on Facebook and how boats full of grain, butter, and livestock continued to be exported to Britain despite it all, sometimes under military guard, and in at least one case, a plea by a British relief official to divert 60,000 tonnes of grain to feed the starving was specifically denied.

There is a book I bought used from Better World Books called The Graves are Walking: The Great Famine and the Saga of the Irish People by John Kelly. Given that quite a bit of my ancestry is Irish, I'm interested in the history.

Anyway, I was reading on Facebook, and it reminded me of a song, a modern folksong that I dearly love but which brings me to tears every single time I hear it. It was written by American songwriter Peter Jones based on letters found in his family's attic, written by his great-great-great-grandfather and sent to his son. It is called 'Kilkelly, Ireland', about the family left behind after that son's emigration from County Mayo to America.

Here's a video that did a nice job with the song and images. I believe this is the version sung by Robbie O'Connell, Mick Moloney, and Jimmy Keane.

Sigh

I was curious as to when I joined Facebook. Apparently, this is no longer displaying in the 'about' section like it used to on my profile page, nor is it buried in the settings like it's supposed to be, even according to numerous instructions on the internet, YouTube videos, and the actually helpful Meta AI program. I finally found it by searching my activity log by filtering by year, as it only presents the years you actually post, and the first year was 2008, and my first post was on March 25th. Considering Facebook, or 'TheFacebook' started out as a college thing and was created in 2004, only being opened up to everyone in 2006, I'd consider myself a fairly early adopter. That means I've been on it for 19 years. Wow. I feel old. Considering it's taken me 45 minutes to find this date, I feel even older. I'm going to go get on that ROMTech bike and do something useful. 

Please consider donating

If you're on Facebook, you know that they always suggest that you do a fundraiser for your birthday. This year I am doing one for the Lexington Humane Society, our local animal shelter. I'm very much an animal lover. I believe animals love us unconditionally in a way no one else does. They enrich our lives, become part of our families, and deserve to be loved and taken care of. Lexington Humane Society takes in animals that for whatever reason have been abandoned by others. They help them get adopted through training, getting their pictures and descriptions posted, and taking care of them on a daily basis until they are adopted. They also provide medical services and have a pantry for people who may not otherwise be able to feed their animals. If you wouldn't mind, consider donating to this very worthy charity. If you don't want to go through Facebook, there are other ways to their donate. They have an Amazon wish list where you can buy food and other items that are needed. You can also link a Kroger card to the Lexington Humane Society so that they get a percentage of what you buy there,

I'm including a link below to my fundraiser. I set the goal only at $150, to start small. Every year I choose the charity, and every year I don't quite make it. I think this is something that many people can get behind because they love animals too. I've made my own donation to start things off. If you do donate thank you so much.

Elisabeth's Facebook fundraiser for the Lexington Humane Society

Day One

of my week off.  I managed to get everything taken care of that I could in that week I was still working so my backup will hopefully only have to deal with add-on surgeries (we're only doing fractures and casts at the moment) or urgent offsites (the University of Kentucky, our main imaging partner, is scheduling non-urgent scans in July as of yesterday).

I tried to get up at a reasonably early time for someone who had really nothing to do today, although I did reset my alarm so it wouldn't start at 5 am.  I tried for 7 am but instead wound up getting up about 9:30.  I got ready and went out to Kroger for a prescription I had waiting for me and finally managed to score a package of paper towels while I was at it, then came home and since then I have mostly been looking at the news, or Facebook, or listening to music, or downloading audiobooks and looking at books to read.  So today is my preparatory day for the rest of the week.

So far I haven't been very bored, although both the food in the refrigerator and my bed are calling to me, so maybe a little. I have discovered that my roommate binge-watches 'Dark Shadows' on Hulu at the moment to wake up and meet the day.

Last night the kitten was inconsolable because his toys were all missing except a ball with a bell in it that really held no interest for him.  I had the intuition to move a marble-top washstand in the living room and voilà! we found his hoard of toys, including the butterfly with the crinkly leaves he adores but I had never actually seen because he hid it the day he got it. Now I've got both cats on my bed and I'm listening to Bastille in my room facing the window with the orchids and a blooming redbud tree outside.

I put a little laundry away, but today was about relaxing after working a week and a half out in the world while most people have been off or working from home.  Our hospital is screening everyone with a temperature check before they come into the building--patient, visitor, staff--and distributing homemade masks that are primarily to help you remember not to touch your face and keep out any droplets.  It won't protect from the virus such as the ones the first responders and ERs have (the lucky ones, anyway), but it'll keep us from pulling any from other places that may need them more.  Our team approach is reducing exposure.  I haven't been able to eat with my lunch bunch all week--my boss directed us to eat lunch in our offices and keep the doors shut.  The only time I go to any other place in the hospital is to go to the bathroom, get a drink, check the mail in the mailroom, check my offsite folder (which I can see through our department door, so I don't have to go in unless there is one) or, in yesterday's case, I filled in at the sign-in desk for a half an hour so someone could go to lunch.  I had to stamp passes the parents had for parking, so I was very cognizant not to touch my face and then washed my hands really well when I was done.  I also wiped down the whole office with disinfectant before I left for the day, as someone else from upstairs might use it while I'm gone.  Of course, when I come back next week I'll do that all again.

I think I will lie down just a bit.  Governor Beshear is going to give his update at 5 pm, so I want to be up by then.  The updates have become known outside of Kentucky, and people are creating memes and videos of him.  There's a fund set up to help with the COVID-19 fallout in Kentucky and someone created quotes on t-shirts with 100% of proceeds going to that fund.

This evening I may go for a walk (by myself).  I have some new shoes that (unlike the walking shoes and Mary Janes I had) are completely level and not worn down from my natural walk, which is on the outside of my feet.  My Mary Janes, which were three years old, were so worn down they were at a 0-45 degree angle and my foot was rolling over every time I walked, so I had to throw them away.  They were in such bad shape there was no reason to try to donate them.  The walking shoes were getting there, too, as they're five years old.  So it was beyond time.  I only have a pair of sandals (which also need replacing) and a pair of house shoes, as I'm pretty utilitarian when it comes to shoes and keep them to a bare minimum.  So these are work shoes but look like a sneaker.  They are from New Balance, and they come in an extra-wide size and don't press badly on my feet (which is bad when you have diabetes), but they also have a steel toe, anti-static protection, and skid-resistant shoes, which probably isn't bad since I'm accident-prone.  So I'm trying to break them in before I go back to work. I wore them to the pharmacy today, and like I said, may go for a walk in a little while.  They're a little heavier than normal due to the steel toe, so I had to be careful not to put the accelerator down too far when driving. Talk about a lead foot. :)

Okay, that's all for now.  Hope you are having a wonderful socially-distant week.  Hopefully, you are staying at home unless you're an essential worker or needing to go out for supplies.

I guess my new year's resolution is helping

I've already posted a number of posts, and not just stupid ones, in January equal to a third of what I did entirely last year. Go me! Another new year's resolution was to post three Facebook posts for every sad or negative one I do (I admit it, I'm drawn to the sad and macabre, and I tend to share that with others, who just find it horrifying). I'm doing well there, too. :)

I made an actual resolution

For every negative thing I share on Facebook I will share three positive stories. That way I won't get bogged down in the sad or horrible things on my newsfeed. As YKWIA told me the other day, people with anxiety issues tend to look for things that increase their anxiety and obsess on negative stories. I should do that here as well. :) 

I should be asleep

But I'm not very tired, which is a little odd.  I was pretty active today, walking over 7500 steps, although I did not go to the Y and work out, mainly because I had some errands to run that had to be done today and while I could have gone to open swim after 8:15 pm, that's a little late.  I don't know about exercising that late.  Of course, it's a warm water pool and it's pretty relaxing, so maybe it'll be fine.  I'm definitely going to try to go to the gym Saturday for a much longer time, try the Nu-Step machines and the pool and try to figure out where the sauna is, as that's always nice to end with.  (I did see where the hot tub is. I've never been in one but it looked very inviting.

I was sharing things from my newsfeed on Facebook and apparently, I got share-silly because a pop-up window came up asking me if I was a robot; I had to check the box to continue.  I need to be doing more sharing on this page; I've hardly written anything all summer.  I'm going to take the 'habit' I have on my phone on Habitica (the app that's a productivity one but with avatars and roleplaying game trappings that I've used for years now) and make it a daily, meaning I'll be more likely to think to write.

There are several applications I'm using right now that I'm finding useful for my health, beyond the one that comes with my activity tracker or something like Samsung Health or Google Fit.  I highly recommend them:

Daylio -- This is a mood tracker that I've used now for over 1100 days (I know, I have entries for that many).  Given that I have Bipolar Disorder II, it's been really helpful in seeing how my mood varies.  I'm generally in the good category, so that's nice to see.  It allows you to track activities as well that might contribute to the mood.

PainScale -- This app allows you to track where and how intense your pain is, as well as a journal, keep track of treatments, triggers, and you can also track food to see if what you're eating is contributing.  It keeps track of the weather and activity factors as well.

Ate -- This one is in beta.  It's a visual food diary that has you take a picture of your meal and then answer a few questions that have to do with mindfulness--why did you eat, who did you eat with, where did you eat, etc., and rather than keeping track of nutrients and calories, it asks were you 'on path' or 'off path'.  It also calculates the time between eating.  So instead of working with minutiae, you're getting to the reasons why you eat and how mindfully.  I mentioned it to my therapist, actually, as in addition to cognitive-behavioural therapy she includes mindfulness. I'm seeing her about every three or four weeks.

Okay, I think I will try to go to sleep, maybe listen to some soothing music.  I've been listening to the collaborative album Ed Sheeran put out all day, and I've now got 'South of the Border' stuck in my head.  I like it, don't get me wrong, but it's too damn catchy.

Have a good night.

GRRRRR...

If you're annoyed, like me, with the fact that Facebook videos are playing with sound again as you scroll past them, check out your settings and you can change it to off for starting videos in your newsfeed with sound. I personally get annoyed with the autoplay. If I want to watch a video with sound, I'll turn it on myself, Facebook. Don't push it on me.

This morning on the radio

the trivia question of the day was basically such-and-such percentage of women do this before a first date...with the obvious answer being 'shave/wax their legs' (yeah, even I, who haven't dated in ages, got that one), but there was a 10-year-old girl who called in, and while she didn't have 'the right' answer, it was an excellent one. Her answer: 'Have a backup plan'. That kid will go far.

I couldn't sleep most of last night. I think I woke up somewhere around 3 am, tossed and turned till 6 am, then slept till 6:30--and I hadn't gone to bed insanely early or anything. I did what I shouldn't have done--I went on Facebook. There is a group dedicated to the roleplaying game I play, and someone asked where people lived, and people form all over the world chimed in. I said I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, and someone replied that they lived a few miles away. The name sounded really familiar, but it wasn't anyone I knew. So I Googled him, and I'm 95% sure he is the director of the library I am sending an application to by Friday, as soon as I can get my transcripts for UK. Serendipity? I don't know, but hopefully he'll recognise my name and it'll spark some curiosity. :)

Then at 6:30 am I awoke to a raging thunderstorm, nearly leapt out of bed, got entangled in the covers and the CPAP hose, nearly fell, and then unplugged my phone as quickly as I could. I guess I still startle a little when thunder is nearby. I had a phobia for years (my baby book even says I screamed with thunder at 6 months old), and have actually been at a campsite that was struck by lightning. Everyone else felt it. I was in the full foetal position in a puddle on the ground. But over the years it's lessened, and I can listen to distant thunder and enjoy it, and I'm basically okay unless I'm outside (say, with an umbrella), or if it's REALLY loud.

So I went in to work early, and I have been consistently e-mailing all sorts of people today to let them know what books are available (my boss wants them divvied up by this week), showing others what's available, and telling people outside of the organisation that I need to change to my personal e-mail for things like book review proofing and working on collection development reviews. It's just really underscored that we're nearing the end.

After work, I went to my friend's house who is sick, got his card, went to the pharmacy, picked up his medicines, stopped by the store for sweetener, and basically crossed the town a couple of times in rush hour traffic on roads that haven't had rain in awhile that are really slick. I felt a certain sense of accomplishment that I didn't have an accident, and I didn't have much anxiety with the drive.

Now I'm home, I've had burritos for dinner (the last of them), and am hydrating and listening to music. I feel the need to be productive, and I'm not super sleepy or anything, but I am a bit tired. Tomorrow I'm going to sit with someone who's taking over one of my duties, today I helped someone with the audit I used to do, and Thursday we're supposed to have a representative of the unemployment office come and talk to those of us who are not going, which is good, because I need a little direction. I have been on unemployment before, when my hours were cut a few years into this job, but it's been over a decade and I'm sure things have changed. I do know where the office has moved, at least, and it's got resources that might help. But I'd also like to get my Internet connexion back on so that I can spend more time looking, and it would help A, too. Right now I have to use my phone (which is limited), the library, the laundry room, or over at my friend's physical therapy office, which has WiFi.

Speaking of laundry, I haven't done mine since YKWIA's been sick--I usually do it over there, and so I'm running low on some essentials. I may have to break down and use the laundry room, which costs $3 a load, when I get paid.

I kind of feel like I'm starting to crash. Maybe I'll rest for just a bit. I know, I tell myself that, and I'll probably be done in for the night. But I'll try to get up in about 30-45 minutes and at least water the plants and do some things here.

But just in case, good night. ;)

I'm feeling pretty sad right now

We were watching the episode of 'Ugly Betty' where she (finally) got her first business cards from Mode magazine. I was reminiscing about how I felt when I first got mine, and then that inevitably led to the fact that the job that's been such a part of my life is ending in nine months. I'll still have most of a box of cards left when it ends (they gave us new ones when the logo changed, and I've only gone through about a fourth.) My tendency, of course, will be to hoard them, but instead I'll keep one or two as keepsakes and move on, hopefully to a new job with new title and cards. But despite everything, I really haven't kept the focus on losing the job so much as trying to find another one, so all the emotions I'd been suppressing came to the forefront a little while ago. While it's good I let myself feel them and express those feelings, it's best not to wallow in them or otherwise have a self-pity party. But my workplace has been my home away from home for almost twenty years. That's hard to let go of.

I think it's time to head over to Facebook. I need something to cheer me up. Maybe there will be a funny video or two.

Found on Facebook

This is me...



And even though I may be the only one in the country not playing Pokemon Go, this was amusing:



Ah, and here's round three. I should go on to bed. Let's go see how the bread is doing and decide from there.

Some things I've been paying attention to on Facebook, that I thought I'd share here

This Teacher Wrote Personal Letters To 100 Students After Nearly Losing One To Suicide

We never know what a difference some small act of kindness can be. A teacher, Brittni Darras, learned that one of her students had been saved while attempting suicide, and wrote her a personal note while she was in the hospital, and it really touched the student, who hadn't thought anyone cared. Because the signs of depression and suicidal thoughts are not always obvious, she then sat down and wrote over a hundred personal, hand-written notes to her various students, giving them a compliment here, or telling a story there, however she connected with each one. What a gift. We can all do small acts of kindness to help others who may be facing very difficult times.

An Amazing Village Designed Just for People with Dementia

I so hope this idea catches on!

At Hogeweyk, the interior of the security perimeter is its own little village—which means that patients can move about as they wish without being in danger.

Each apartment hosts six to eight people, including caretakers—who wear street clothes—and the relationship between the two is unique. Residents help with everything from cooking to cleaning. They can buy whatever they want from the grocery. They can get their hair done or go to a restaurant. It's those basic routines and rituals that can help residents maintain a better quality of living.

Click here for more on the concept of Dementia Villages. As the Gizmodo article points out, 1 in 3 seniors will die with dementia. 1 in 3. It's one of my greatest fears; I watched my great-grandmother decline with Alzheimer's for fifteen years. SHe was lucky; she was able to stay in her home, cared for by her daughter, my grandmother, but at cost--my grandmother outlived her mother by a scant two years, and while the official cause of death was lung cancer, I truly believe she gave all of her stamina and fight up trying to care for her mother, leaving her no reserve for herself. They said my grandfather had dementia, although in his case, I think he just didn't have enough oxygen in his blood, as he had COPD and emphysema for years, and would wander at the hospital with Sundowner's syndrome (when people act strangely after dark in unfamiliar surroundings) without his oxygen on. My grandmother was pretty sharp to a point, but she didn't know my mom all the time, or would fuss over things that weren't real. I already have issues with memory and so I have to admit, I worry about what will happen to me--especially without children or other close family members to care for me, if I should get Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia. But speaking of dementia, if you are dealing with this in a loved one, be sure to read 16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia: A heartfelt wish list from a dementia care worker by Rachael Wonderlin, who works with patients with dementia.

Oh, and I don't know who came up with this, but I love it, so I'm going to end this post on a lighter note:



And this hit a chord, maybe because, I don't know, I managed to get hit by a car a few years ago while obeying all laws and walking in the crosswalk with the light:



Okay, I think I'm going to do some reading after I forage for a snack. I'm reading Meghan Telpner's UnDiet: The Shiny, Happy, Vibrant, Gluten-Free, Plant-Based Way To Look Better, Feel Better, And Live Better Each And Every Day!, so I guess it better be a healthy snack. :)

Drat!

I did a major no-no for someone with diabetes--I walked out onto our porch to water the windowboxes and apparently stepped on something incredibly small, like a sliver of glass or something else sharp. It's on my big toe, and I can't find anything in order to pull it out, so every time I step, it hurts. Not good. At least it's a fairly minor annoyance, and hopefully won't get infected or anything. I need to remember to at the very least wear my sandals (although those aren't ideal either, but I love letting my toes 'breathe'). I'm technically supposed to wear something inside, too. My feet have always gotten hot very easily (I hated footed pyjamas as a child, and wandered to find cooler areas as a result).

Today I'm thinking of a young girl half a world a way, the daughter of a Facebook friend, who has a terrible degenerative genetic illness and is having a lot of trouble the last few days. Here's hoping things get better for her and her family.

I've been on Facebook for at least an hour, catching up on my newsfeed. I was sorry to hear Doris Roberts died. I loved her even back when 'Angie' was on. And I found a Passover parody of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' that I'm a little afraid to watch. :)

It's a little late to start tonight, but I'm thinking that the game notes shouldn't take long at all this week. I'll try to do them before Saturday for a change.

What I think I will do is a little reading, especially a couple of books I have on intuitive eating. I'd put that on hold, and while, granted, I went a couple of days without my Lasix, which may mean I may have some extra water weight on me, I weighed myself this morning and topped out at my highest weight ever, 307.2 lbs. That scares me. I don't feel healthy at this weight, and I want to be healthier, but it'll probably mean some major lifestyle changes--exercising, ditching processed food for the most part, being mindful in my eating, and drinking water as my drink of choice, rather than diet drinks. Dieting itself doesn't work for me. I'm fine during the structured part of my day, then binge later in the day when I'm home, because I feel deprived of the food, which I eat emotionally. I need to make peace with food, finally.

So much for going to bed early

I've been playing on Facebook. Hey, I missed the Internet. I've been going on just as much as necessary, not really doing the surfing I enjoy. But now I am really going to head on to bed. Good night!

So very tired

This was my day:

7:45 am to 8:45 am--Gather laundry,  eat breakfast,  get ready,  load up car with laundry,  cups,  computer,  and backpack,  drive to convenience store for soda,  drive to friends' house.

8:45 am to 10:20 am--Open two computer cases and transfer a SATA hard drive from one,  where it was primary,  to another,  to save the data from it.

10:20 am to 1:00--Do laundry.  Clean their house,  including the things A usually does that involve bending,  like the cat boxes.

1:30 pm to 8:00 pm--Visit with Brenda and play the game.

8:00 pm to 9:15 pm--Backup computer on external hard drive and prepare for grocery.

9:15 pm to 10:30 pm--Drive to and from the grocery store,  shopping for my friends alone,  since A is feeling under the weather.

10:30 pm to 11:30 pm--Bring in and put away groceries,  bring in and pill dogs,  and make a sandwich and tea for YKWIA.

11:30 am to 11:40 pm--Drive home.

11:40 pm to 12:15 am--Eat and look at Habitica.com and Facebook on phone. Generally plotz.

12:15 am to now--Get ready for bed.

NOW:  Good night; I'm pooped.

I certainly found it so

Uninstalling Facebook app saves up to 20% of Android battery life: Facebook’s Android app negatively impacts performance and battery life, even when it’s only running in the background, users find

Frustrated by having to charge my Samsung Galaxy S5's battery by noon in order to have any juice by evening and preventing the phone from shutting itself down by dinnertime, I removed Facebook, Messenger, and a few other applications that I was using infrequently. The results? At the vvery least about 30%-50% or more battery at bedtime, and not having to charge during the day at all. I can still check social media through my Chrome browser. I rarely used Messenger, anyway, and it was a space hog as well. In fact, now that I removed those applications and backed up my photos from my SD card to the computer, I now have about a fourth of my internal storage and half of my SD card free again (several of the applications were partly stored on the SD card). And things are opening a lot faster. Yay!

Today I:

1. Worked in scheduling, the library, and the revenue cycle aspects of my job.
2. Picked up a friend from an appointment after work.
3. Took another friend to an appointment.
4. Read three chapters of Hollow City while waiting at the appointment.
5. Got some gas.
6. Took my friend home.
7. Checked out Facebook and blogged.
8. Turned out all the lights except for the hallway and fish tanks, lit two lavender candles and some incense, and enjoyed the resulting scents and relaxing waterfall of the large tank.
9. Tried to get the wind-up clock that my dad brought from Japan on the way back from Southeast Asia during the Vietnam War to stay going. I can't quite seem to get it level, even when using a level, and it will run for about 10 minutes and then stop. Yet again, this has happened, although I thought I'd actually gotten it for a few minutes.
10. Updated some things on the computer.
11. Set my Dropbox settings so it doesn't automatically connect. Often when I'm at my friends' house, I turn off the Wi-Fi because they don't have it there, and I don't want my battery on the laptop going down. But then Dropbox tries to connect when I turn the computer back on at home, and it takes what seems like forever (but seriously, at least a half an hour) to get the connexion menu to come up so I can even connect, and I think it's because Dropbox is stuck in a connexion loop, as the computer isn't connected, but it's trying to. When I changed the settings I suddenly had control over my computer again. It was a little sluggish, so something else is happening too. This doesn't happen on the desktop--Windows 10 actually sped it up, but it's connected at all times. The laptop is a different story entirely. I must figure out what settings or programs are interfering with things. I can right click to get the menu on the start button, but not left click it, for example, while it's bogged down doing something. And I checked, it wasn't automatically going into update mode or anything. Maybe it's the AVG anti-virus program, but it doesn't seem to be updating or scanning when this happens, although, of course, it's running in the background. Any ideas?
12. Was going to go ahead and work on the notes for awhile, but decided I've already spent too much time just fiddling with the computer, and my wrists are hurting already. I think I'll get the recording over to the laptop from the voice recorder, at least, but the rest of it will have to wait till Friday (as tomorrow I'm over at YKWIA's watching 'Heroes Reborn' with him, after a trip to the pharmacy for a medicine we couldn't get the other day because A was so busy he forgot to go to his appointment and get his prescription, which he got today instead. We just couldn't go to the pharmacy today because YKWIA had an appointment, and I couldn't do both and get it all accomplished by the time the pharmacy closed and still get him to his appointment. So, tomorrow it is.

I think I'm going to blow out the candles and head back to the bedroom, maybe listen to some music. I'm also going to run the dishwasher. I'd like to watch something on Netflix, but I don't think I'd make it a full hour if I tried, much less two. I'm going to try to go to work early tomorrow and make up a half-hour that I'm short on. Normally I'm in scheduling Monday through Wednesday, but our clinic numbers are high tomorrow so it's Tuesday through Thursday this week. I've spent all of today thinking it was Tuesday as a result. :)

It appears that

the American Library Association's Facebook account has been hacked, someone made a horrible mistake, or they gave permission to a site to post they should not have, for there are several odd posts, including why straight men like boobies. Yes, really. I hope that gets taken care of soon.

I had to do a lot of scrolling on Facebook to find this again

My friend Jody posted it on hers...and I laughed. A lot.



For one, it annoys those of us who are not of the body. But even if one is a Christian, it's important to know that:

1. God helps those who help themselves (i.e., work to make things happen--don't expect things to magically work out) and
2. Prayer is great, but sharing things like that on Facebook is not going to make anything happen (except make some people feel good and annoy the rest of us). I'm just saying....

Ah, I knew that thunderstorm was coming!

It's raining, but not terribly, but the there's thunder and I'm glad I'm inside and away from the pool. It's very dark in here, even with the lights on. Instead of doing anything particularly useful, I've been on Facebook and joined Nextdoor (it's a community where you can post things to your neighbours and keep in contact). Caffeine or no caffeine, the rain is making me sleepy. Must. Resist.