For more about my skills and experience (hire me!)

Go to my LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eilir.

 

2026 Reading Challenge Update

I'm pretty happy with how things are going. My aim was to read 24 books this year. I've read 19; I'm seven ahead of schedule, and I'm working on another three or so. I've read each month, so Goodreads has given me an 'achievement' bookmark for each one. There are 174 days left. Here is what I've read so far, in reverse order:

1. Supervisor, Manager, Leader: The Basics of Being a Boss by Mike Kraus
2. Knock 'Em Dead 2016: The Ultimate Job Search Guide by Martin Yate
3. 101 Great Answers to the Toughest Interview Questions by Ron Fry
4. Can I Recycle That? A Guide to Better Recycling and How to Reduce Single-Use Plastics by Jennie Romer
5. The Inspired Houseplant: Transform Your Home with Indoor Plants from Kokedama to Terrariums and Water Gardens to Edibles by Jen Sterarns
6. House Plants for Every Space: A Concise Guide to Selecting, Designing and Maintaining Plants in Any Indoor Space by Green Interior
7. The Lifelong Gardener: Garden with Ease and Joy at Any Age by Toni Gattone
8. The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook by Melani Sanders
9. Painting in Watercolour: Practical Techniques and Projects for Beginners by Wendy Jelbert
10. All These Ghosts by Silas House
11. I Need a Job!: Be Noticed. Land the Interview. Get Hired. by Gary Burnison
12. CV Handbook: A Curriculum Vitae Owners Manual by Will Coghill Behrends and Rebecca Antony
13. The Everything Guide to GLP-1s: Lose Weight, Build Healthy Eating Habits, and Achieve Lifelong Weight Management by Kayley George
14. What Color is Your Parachute Guide to Rethinking Interviews: Ace the Interview and Land Your Dream Job by Richard Nelseon Bolles
15. A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right by Molly Howes
16. On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World by Danya Ruttenberg
17. Why Your Resume Isn't Working: And How You Can Fix It Now by Wendy D. Steele
18. Unmasking Adult Autism: Embrace Your Autistic Identity, Overcome Executive Dysfunction, and Empower Your Neurodivergent Self by Neuro Nurture
19. Camouflage: The Hidden Lives of Autistic Women by Sarah Bargiela

Five more to go. Let's see if I can go beyond that. Hopefully! I've got two works of fiction I'm working my way through (these are almost all non-fiction). One is The Book of Doors by Gareth Brown. The other is Mrs. Lilienblum's Cloud Factory by Iddo Gefen. I'll be happy to add those to the list, as I do non-fiction much more easily than fiction these days, alas. I don't know why.

Wonderful birthday present

I finally got unemployment in the middle of the night on the night of my birthday [hey, I happened to be up at 3 AM looking at my bank account, expecting a whopping 94¢, and instead two payments for both missed payments in March were there.], which was a complete surprise, as I was still watiting a month after my appeal for a scheduled date for the hearing.  In fact, I'm still getting correspondence about how that will be scheduled soon. (?) But no, I received the paperwork today. [I called yesterday to make sure before I touched any money]. That's the good news. The bad news is it's going to throw me off Medicaid, just that amount, never mind that I'll get paid twice more this month--or I'd just taken a distribution I haven't gotten yet out of my retirement because I didn't have any money coming in while I appealed and had bills and, well, had 94¢. I have Medicaid until the end of the month, anyway. If I have a job by then, it shouldn't matter. Otherwise I'll either have to get another insurance at 1000 dollars or so a month that won't cover hardly anything or do COBRA (and I checked, I have till May 4th to do it) and pay about $1300 for medical + dental a month--but I'd met all my deductible AND my out-of-pocket expenses so would literally only pay premiums, no copays, medication co-insurances, or any other medical costs. Any ER, surgery, or MRI at an in-network facility (and most are) would be $0.00. Hopefully, it would be for a short time. And unemployment only runs partway through June. In other words, I need to find a job pronto, anyway.

I did apply for a cataloguing position in my hometown (Danville), and I have one near there to apply for at the Garrard County Library, a children's librarian position as well. There's a librarian position here at UK, but I want the career coach at the Alumni Career Centre to look at my curriculum vitae and give me some feedback, since you don't normally see much written about format or what to put in those, and it's required.

I also just applied tonight for two UK research positions that are primarily training, and they're in the same department, making a lot more money than I ever have, and they sound very intriguing. The job descriptions were very vague. I'd like to interview just to learn more.

So far I've had four interviews, and I've been shot down on two of them, but two are still pending, so fingers crossed, both with the state. So, we'll see...

Navigating the job hunting world

I have another interview set up for Tuesday. It's a state job with the Department of Natural Resources tracking abandoned oil wells and gas tanks. Not a library job, but it has state benefits and pays well. It's a virtual interview. Wish me luck!

That's:

34 job applications
4 interviews completed or set up
8 rejections (1 post-interview)
2 webinars attended
1 job fair attended
1 job fair planning to attend

Also:
UI applied for the very day I lost my job, but was denied.
UI appealed, awaiting hearing to be scheduled (20 days past acknowledgement of receipt of appeal letter--I sent an email yesterday because I couldn't get anyone one the phone and they won't let you stay on hold, it just ends the call if no one is available, and they got back to me this morning say it was with the schedulers still) [not an issue with my employer, but rather an issue with the explanation of the 'waiting week' requirement'.]
Medicaid was applied for, too and approved.
SNAP was applied for, too and approved (finally--it took exactly 30 days)
Moved every bill I could to May.
Took a small distribution from retirement to pay bills; I couldn't move; I can't draw on my pension until May without penalty for the rest of my life because I'm turning another year older, 24 hours into next month.

It has been a very busy 38 days. Whew!

The job fair was a bust. I got there a little late because I had to go to the library to print some résumés after my 15-year-old printer died, and they had a lot of trouble with their printers. A lot. But we got it all worked out. I got there about the time you'd expect a lot of people to get there after work, but most of the prospective employers had packed up and left. The only ones left were construction and a temp agency (I have tried temp work before, and it was not a great experience, would not recommend at all. I got two one-day replacements in food service, even with clerical experience (back in the day, mind you, but still, I was very annoyed). I remember it was with the Snelling agency. They were absolutely useless. We had an excellent temp who covered me while I was out on medical leave. They really wanted to hire her for an open position, but couldn't because they'd have to pay over 30% more to her and them as part of a finder's fee in the contract, and it was just untenable, so they lost her to another employer.) Anyway, it turns out I could just upload my résumé to the website, so I grabbed a card to prove I'd gone, scanned the QR code, uploaded what I needed, and just went home. I'd already had a webinar and interview that day.

The interview that day was for a patient access position and went so well I was invited to come in Monday for several hours to shadow the people I'd work with to see how we'd get along, sort of a long second interview, I guess. The next day, I got an email saying they'd decided to take the position in a different direction, but that I had good qualities and would be considered for other positions within their practice. So I don't know if that meant they retooled the position, went with another candidate, or what. It was a little confusing. But I'm okay with it. It would have been a good job, and I think I would have liked working there, but I would rather work in a library, of course.

I am trying not to be constantly on the phone or computer doing this sort of stuff. I am volunteering for the Kentucky Talking Book Library as a proofreader. I picked up my first book and have my first two chapters to listen to. Essentially, I listen to the recording and see if there are errors, mark any issues with a timestamp, and turn in the paperwork so it can be cleaned up before final production. These audiobooks are loaned to patrons with low vision, ADHD, dyslexia, inability to hold traditional books, and other issues that keep them from enjoying standard books. It is a division of the Kentucky Department for Libraries and Archives.

This week

I have put in 15 applications, 6 today alone. I'm doing what I can to find a job as quickly as I can.

My unemployment benefit claim has been denied because I did not understand the waiting week--I thought it was the first full week after you apply, when actually they backdate your week to the beginning of the week in which you apply. So, for me, I lost my job on a Wednesday and applied that day, so my waiting week started February 15th, even though I was let go on the 18th. While I was reeling from that and applying for unemployment, Medicaid, SNAP, and everything else I could think of, calling about my retirement and how to pay off my line of credit and the dryer I'd bought through my paycheque, I'd put in a couple of applications, but in fact I'd needed to put in five. When I had to put in the claim, it became obvious that I'd been wrong about the week (the first week following I did have five, and was fine on the requirement, because I thought that was my waiting week, and I already had enough lined up for the next week--this week to make everything work.

I went ahead and appealed it immediately, throwing myself on their mercy. I really didn't understand the wording of their FAQs, the phone just referred me back to those FAQs, and the Internet just let me down completely, because it seemed to say it was the week after, too. I explained that I often have trouble understanding certain concepts that may seem cut and dry to most people, due to my autism, which is often the case. They did say at the time to keep claiming it in case they decide to grant it later.

In the meantime, I do have Medicaid, which was a big one to me, as my healthcare is a priority. 

Tired...

Applications for two library positions and one scheduling one in. Set up a profile on Zip Recruiter and updated my LinkedIn (temporarily, I'm going to really tweak it after reading the library book), updated my online curricula vitae and résumés for patient access, library, and general categories. Applied for various benefits. Not bad for four days.

Tomorrow I see my doctor about changing my ADHD medication. It should hopefully help keep me from making mistakes like what happened the other day.

My roommate told me a year ago, when I first started having trouble, to take my diagnosis report in and ask for accommodations so that I'd have some protection from the Americans with Disabilities Act. My anxiety kept me from doing it. I thought it would be seen as an admission that I couldn't do the job, when, of course, I could; I just couldn't do it as things were. I was afraid they'd just fire me or find some reason to let me go. And now we're here.

Well...at least I lasted long enough to get new knees.

My affirmations calendar has a sense of humour

The photo is of my affirmations calendar page on the day I was let go.

Today's saying is 'I am exactly who I need to be in this moment.' I am meeting this head-on. I've worked since I was 16 years old--42 years. In all that time, I've never been terminated, although I've been laid off (twice), had my hours reduced (twice), and my job eliminated (once). Three of those have happened at Shriners, and I've always been loyal and kept going like it didn't matter, but hey. Anyway, I've picked up my things, spoken with various people about options and benefits I may be eligible for, begun applying for jobs, etc. I've made a list of things to do, and I'm already about halfway through it after two days. Tonight I'm trying to integrate the things I had in the office that I'd like to keep in my room. The rest will go into storage until I have another office. Tomorrow I'm going to work up a schedule for the week. I've tried to move some appointments from March to next week, and looking for another job with benefits, especially healthcare, is my main priority. I cannot go without my medicine. It literally would be a death sentence. 

Anyone with leads, feel free to send me anything. I didn't get terminated for anything malicious or deliberate or anything like that. If circumstances were different, I'm not sure it would even have happened. But here it is, and in a way, it might be good. I've sort of used Shriners as a comfortable crutch for years, clinging to it rather than taking risks out in the world trying for jobs that might have been better in the long run for my career, As much as I loved being a librarian, being a solo librarian for so long has hurt my chances of getting a mid-career job because I've only supervised a few high school students, not other professionals, even though I've done all the different things a librarian does in a library. 

The librarian position here was perfect for me in terms of my neurodiversity issues; the patient access positions stressed them. Ironically, the final one was better than the others. I was doing better with it, though I struggled with my ADHD medicine failing, and it directly led to my discharge. I am scheduled next week to discuss changing it with my MD. Too little, too late. But maybe it will help for next time. I've also learned a very hard lesson: coming clean about a disability before it becomes an issue isn't a sign of weakness; it's a way to protect yourself, at least as long as the ADA survives current attacks. I actually had an offer for an interview the week I came back from my last knee replacement, and I wish I'd taken it, but I didn't feel it was right to ask off on my first day back, as it wasn't fair to work. I really regret that now. It was a library job with the state, providing children's books to kids with low vision or who are blind. I sometimes feel I was more concerned about work than vice versa. I was once told it wasn't my business to worry about the number of patients on the schedule or who was out that day when asking off, that wasn't my job. I thought it was just common courtesy and trying not to be a bother. Oh, well. No longer my problem. I am exactly who I need to be in this moment. I will continue to be. I will do better. And I am equipped to handle all situations effectively, even if in the short term it seems bleak. In the long run, I will prevail and flourish, and never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me fail.

Have a good night.

I have been pretty busy lately

as I'm sure you can tell from my lack of posting. I've been staying up later but my evenings and the weekend have been pretty full of various errands, being with friends, or just trying to get some things accomplished, but I never got around to actually talking about them, I'm afraid. I actually missed a deadline for a job application with the Lexington Public Library the other day for a children's librarian at Northside yesterday because I was really tired late Sunday night when I got home, and I couldn't get myself out of bed early enough to work on it before work. So tonight, I got off work a little early (well, the original time I was supposed to work till, 4:30 pm), went to an appointment, and got out pretty quickly, by 5:35 (it was a 5:15 appointment, and I barely got to the car and there with just about three minutes to spare, so it worked out well). I was over in Beaumont for the appointment, and I needed to go to the credit union, and then I realised there is one in the area, so I didn't have to drive over to the university. Instead, I deposited a pay cheque at the credit union and then headed over to the Beaumont Branch of the Lexington Public Library to see what they may have. But I am a bit confused, as I see no new books at all, and I'm not sure where they keep them. I've found the regular books, the CDs, the 'Top Shelf' books, and the Holds, but no new books. I'll have to ask before I go. I'm sure it's glaringly obvious and I'm just not seeing it.

I am resisting the urge to go to another place down the street--Masala, the Indian restaurant I like very much. It's evening so I could order Peshwari naan (my favourite) and vegetable korma, which goes very well with it. But I have to admit, I do need to eat soon, and I am in the neighbourhood...perhaps I will at least check their dinner hours.

I think I'll download the recording from the game and maybe start on the notes--there was a lot of investigation this time, as we started a new adventure, this time a series of murders in Glasgow, Scotland. So I thought I should get an early start on the game notes.

Okay, I'll try to write later, but just in case, have a great evening.

I rested for a bit this afternoon

because I'd gotten so bad that while driving over by Time Warner Cable, I ran up on a kerb, and then when I went to hang up my keys, I missed the hook twice and had to fish them out from behind a table. I wasn't doing well. Right after I blogged, I got a text from my step-father that my mother is doing very badly...she hasn't eaten in two days, and just stares ahead and isn't responsive. He doesn't think she has very long at all. I mentioned the other day why I don't plan to visit her in the house, but even if I was going to go--I couldn't have driven safely at all. I let him know this and let my other aunt know (he texted both me and my mom's sister).

Sigh. I feel awful. I want to be with her. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like she recognises anything at this point. I just hope it's peaceful and without pain or suffering. My step-father's taken very good care of her, and I know he'll be devastated. I'm oddly...detached. I don't know if it's some sort of coping mechanism, or what. I don't know how I'll react when she passes, and I am occasionally crying tonight, but mostly it's like my brain is trying to curl up in a ball and pretend it's not really happening. I hate that feeling.

My libations were moved, due to my perimenopause, to dark of the moon, rather than during my period, a traditional time of worship for Her (Hekate). However, since the beginning of the year, I've been poor to the point of a dollar or less in my account at the time, and I never think to get the wine ahead of time, so I promised a full bottle and honey as soon as my tax refund came in, even though it is now a waxing crescent. So I ventured out to Liquor Barn just a little while ago and got a bottle of wine and then some things at Kroger. Now I'm tired again, but my head's not hurting like it was and I can think reasonably straight. But I'm going to take the opportunity to pray tonight, as Hekate also accompanies the souls of the dead.

I know that death is a natural consequence of life, but this sucks. I know my mom doesn't want to die (who does, usually?) and I'm not sure she'd come to terms with it. I think they always thought she'd somehow be put on the liver transplant list even with her other issues and her smoking. My mom and I share a dangerous trait, that we keep doing what we want when we want it, without giving much thought to long-term consequences. While her actual condition is genetic and secondary to her diabetes (fatty liver, turning into non-alcoholic cirrhosis, and even hepatic tumours), there were things she should have done a long time ago that would have helped. It's not lost on me that I have some of the same issues, and my liver enzymes are slightly elevated most of the time when they take them. Just like hers were for years. Oh, it may be a medicine you're on. Oh, don't worry, it's just a bit elevated. That's how it was until so suddenly it wasn't.

I'm not trying to be mean about my mom. I'm just saying there were warning signs, and I should heed them, too, so I don't wind up in the same condition. Oh, of course, something will get you in the end. But maybe if I make better choices now, I'll live longer and better. Momma's only 69. Her mother, despite diabetes, was 90. In my family, with the exception of my mom's grandmother, who had a diabetic stroke in her 60s, if you smoke, you live to your 60s or maybe early 70s; if you don't, it's more 80s and even into the 90s. I've never smoked. I have a lot of issues that 'age' me beyond my years, in a way, but if I make changes in my diet and exercise, it can only help. But I've got to do it. Of course, one big change I have no control over that should help is very soon I won't be eating 2-3 meals per day in our cafeteria, which isn't the most nutritious of food (it's mostly fried stuff, pre-packaged, and processed, with an occasional green vegetable, I hate to say). It's been better in the past, especially for vegetarians, but still, it's not the best route I could do.

I've already come up with a schedule for the time I'm off (however long that will be) so I'll keep normal business hours. Today I got an Indeed alert to two more jobs (that's a total of five), one at the university, in the health sciences library. It's closing date is April 25th, but all I have to do is a cover letter and have some friends and colleagues look over my curriculum vitae. Keep your fingers crossed for me. One is with the state, one with a local public library, and three with the university. So things are looking up, which is good, as we're thirty days for closing down.

Okay, I think I will definitely take the trazodone and start making preparations for bed. Good night.

This morning on the radio

the trivia question of the day was basically such-and-such percentage of women do this before a first date...with the obvious answer being 'shave/wax their legs' (yeah, even I, who haven't dated in ages, got that one), but there was a 10-year-old girl who called in, and while she didn't have 'the right' answer, it was an excellent one. Her answer: 'Have a backup plan'. That kid will go far.

I couldn't sleep most of last night. I think I woke up somewhere around 3 am, tossed and turned till 6 am, then slept till 6:30--and I hadn't gone to bed insanely early or anything. I did what I shouldn't have done--I went on Facebook. There is a group dedicated to the roleplaying game I play, and someone asked where people lived, and people form all over the world chimed in. I said I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, and someone replied that they lived a few miles away. The name sounded really familiar, but it wasn't anyone I knew. So I Googled him, and I'm 95% sure he is the director of the library I am sending an application to by Friday, as soon as I can get my transcripts for UK. Serendipity? I don't know, but hopefully he'll recognise my name and it'll spark some curiosity. :)

Then at 6:30 am I awoke to a raging thunderstorm, nearly leapt out of bed, got entangled in the covers and the CPAP hose, nearly fell, and then unplugged my phone as quickly as I could. I guess I still startle a little when thunder is nearby. I had a phobia for years (my baby book even says I screamed with thunder at 6 months old), and have actually been at a campsite that was struck by lightning. Everyone else felt it. I was in the full foetal position in a puddle on the ground. But over the years it's lessened, and I can listen to distant thunder and enjoy it, and I'm basically okay unless I'm outside (say, with an umbrella), or if it's REALLY loud.

So I went in to work early, and I have been consistently e-mailing all sorts of people today to let them know what books are available (my boss wants them divvied up by this week), showing others what's available, and telling people outside of the organisation that I need to change to my personal e-mail for things like book review proofing and working on collection development reviews. It's just really underscored that we're nearing the end.

After work, I went to my friend's house who is sick, got his card, went to the pharmacy, picked up his medicines, stopped by the store for sweetener, and basically crossed the town a couple of times in rush hour traffic on roads that haven't had rain in awhile that are really slick. I felt a certain sense of accomplishment that I didn't have an accident, and I didn't have much anxiety with the drive.

Now I'm home, I've had burritos for dinner (the last of them), and am hydrating and listening to music. I feel the need to be productive, and I'm not super sleepy or anything, but I am a bit tired. Tomorrow I'm going to sit with someone who's taking over one of my duties, today I helped someone with the audit I used to do, and Thursday we're supposed to have a representative of the unemployment office come and talk to those of us who are not going, which is good, because I need a little direction. I have been on unemployment before, when my hours were cut a few years into this job, but it's been over a decade and I'm sure things have changed. I do know where the office has moved, at least, and it's got resources that might help. But I'd also like to get my Internet connexion back on so that I can spend more time looking, and it would help A, too. Right now I have to use my phone (which is limited), the library, the laundry room, or over at my friend's physical therapy office, which has WiFi.

Speaking of laundry, I haven't done mine since YKWIA's been sick--I usually do it over there, and so I'm running low on some essentials. I may have to break down and use the laundry room, which costs $3 a load, when I get paid.

I kind of feel like I'm starting to crash. Maybe I'll rest for just a bit. I know, I tell myself that, and I'll probably be done in for the night. But I'll try to get up in about 30-45 minutes and at least water the plants and do some things here.

But just in case, good night. ;)