Numb

So I went to the library yesterday and found these. First thing I'm doing today is making a to-do list for today (ADHD essential), then a schedule for the week. Then I'm reading the LinkedIn book so I can tweak my profile there. I may go to the YMCA. I canceled it (I won't be able to pay for it), but I have a week left and with all the snow and ice and being sick I wasn't able to go all month so I don't want to waste the money I paid this month. It would probably help with self-care. I still haven't broken down or let any of this really 'hit' me. I've felt a little anger, a little sadness, but very shallow emotions--exactly like when someone in my life dies. I never cry at funerals. I push my emotions down. Sometimes they come flooding out when I'm alone or when I'm with my roommate, but otherwise, I feel kind of numb. I have one more therapy session we added before my insurance ends. That should help. But going to the Y might help with the somatic stress too, as I carry out all in my body instead of letting it out.

I should note

that I have actually gotten into the warm water pool at the YMCA three times in the last week, once last Saturday, when they had the 'Adult Individual Fitness' from 8-10 AM (I went at 9 and was the only one there), and twice at 5:30 AM (my supervisor joined the Y and has been going with me). Yay!!!! Go us!

I'm really not feeling the best right now. I'm discouraged and frustrated.

I am feeling absolutely discouraged. I got up at 5:20 a.m. yesterday in an attempt to go to the YMCA for their warm water pool 'Adult Individual Fitness', which runs from 5:30 a.m.-9 a.m. Even though I planned to take a shower there, had everything packed, etc., I realised that if I went, I'd have maybe 1/2 hour in the pool until I'd have to take said shower and go to work. So instead I just showed up at work an hour early and worked on some things on my Kindle.

Today I said, fine, it's open swim from 2-8:45 (they close at 9 p.m.) I'll go after work. I get there and it's actually a kid swim class with about 20 people in 3/4 of the relatively small pool and another 10 in the 1/4 that is left as 'open swim'. I just can't do my exercises with that much churning and little room. I'd have maybe a four-foot square of space to myself, which I guess I could do a few things that didn't require walking, but not really get the full benefit, and I find it very distracting. I went back into the women's locker room, called the Y, and asked him to recommend a time I could work out that would be quieter. There is, of course, the 5:30 in the morning option (although it was a real struggle yesterday and I'm really just not a morning person, and tend to stay up far later than I should just for work because that is my natural circadian rhythm.) He also suggested between 1-3, before the kids get home from school.

Sigh. Yeah. While I'm at work. Of course, it would be, since the majority of workers like me work then.

I am already discouraged by this experiment because I joined in late June, worked out on the Nu-Step for all of 15 minutes and then got severe sciatica right afterwards (I could barely walk, and even sitting was really painful) and of course, spent all of August in the wrap/boot. I finally got out of the boot about a week and a half ago. So I tried.

Today I went, hopeful, and got dressed in my swimsuit (both putting it on backwards and realising that I left the tag on.) :) But it was just too crowded. I sat in the changing room crying after talking to the guy. I've spent over $200 on this membership since June and have been able to work out for exactly 15 minutes. Even today, I could have at least done the Nu-Step, but I didn't talk to my doctor about exercise and thought I'd better check with him before doing it with or without the orthotic on.

I went home, called the Y again, and asked when the last day was that I could cancel my membership and not be charged at the beginning of the month. Apparently, you have to give them 15 days' notice, so I'm locked in until at least October 15th. If I have not managed to meaningfully do anything with the pool, I'm giving up. I came to the YMCA--and this branch of the Y--because it has a warm water pool (the only one in the Bluegrass YMCA system). I applied for financial hardship so it's $45 a month rather than $60, but good God, if I wanted to just work out on some machine I'd spend $10 a month at one of the 24/7 gyms and be done with it. I don't.

So tomorrow I am going to call Cardinal Hill (where I did my outpatient aquatherapy in the first place). They are under new ownership or management it looks like, and while it used to be that you could pay for their pool use per time, they closed at 6 p.m. each weekday. Maybe with the new changes they'd be open later or even on the weekend. It's worth an ask.

Am I being terribly unreasonable? I'm really not trying to sound like those pesky kids are the problem. It's not that. The crowding in general is, especially for someone who's pretty sensitive to noise and other stimuli. A lot of it also my frustration with how my health and disabilities are getting worse because of my health and disabilities. But in all actuality, I think the big problem is that there aren't really services for those with disabilities who are not retired or on full-time disability and who are unavailable 9-5 as they are normal business hours.

I did review the schedule. There is one time a week I may be able to work this out, and it is from 8 a.m.-10 a.m. on Saturdays. I'm going to go. It's once a week, but it's something. I just don't know if it'll be enough to make the fee worth it.

Should I try to stick it out? Or give them till October 15th and just chuck it in?

First workout in awhile

So I joined the YMCA again. This is my first workout since joining (since we had our for for a week). Did 10 minutes on the Nu-Step (reclining elliptical). I made it 10 minutes, but hey, baby steps. Since I'm so out of condition I don't want to do too much too quickly. But I got my heart rate up some and got sweaty, so I guess I did okay. My right knee hurt during it, so I lowered the load a bit, but it feels better now that I'm sitting and hydrating. Trying to decide if I want to do anything with the warm pool today or wait. The weather has closed the aquatic centre outside, so I'm sure the kids are in there.

PS Thanks to my coworker Darren, whom I ran into at the Beaumont Kroger and who guided me to a new lock for the locker room. I'm not familiar with that store as it's across town. Of course, it's got a lot of non-food items so of course I got other stuff, much more than I planned on (I really just came in for the lock and a bottle of water). I have a regular lock but have no idea where the keys are, and I can't remember the combination on one I finally got rid of, which is typical.

Drat

Well, the warm water pool where the class takes place is down (again) due to a heater issue. So no class tonight, to get in the way of latkes. But I am little disappointed; this is about the third time there's been an issue since I joined in September, and it's the only warm water pool in town in the YMCA system, which is good for aqua therapy exercises, but usually, when I go outside of class, there are lots of kids roughhousing, making it difficult to exercise at all during the open swim. I really am considering cancelling my membership. That's the whole reason I joined the YMCA.

Happy Chanukah!

Enjoying a day off from work, the third day of my five-day weekend. :) I've folded laundry, had a leisurely shower, and otherwise just relaxed and spent time with my roommate. Now he's out so I'm listening to Pentatonix' Christmas music and calming a nervous dog who wants her master. I think I may do some reading and writing. We'll probably watch more of 'The Witcher' later, too. But tonight is all about latkes. I have gelt hidden away and all the ingredients ready. And thank goodness my food processor is still going; his died at Thanksgiving. That makes it so much easier to grate the potatoes and zucchini. :) I'd planned on going to a Water Fit class tonight (I'm already dressed for the gym), but the latkes do come first. It's my main Hannukah present for him. I'll look up to see if it's even on the class schedule since it's Christmas week. It's not usually till 7:15 pm, so maybe I can do the latkes earlier and have them ready for the hanukkiah [menorah] lighting at sunset.

So the reason why

I definitely made the effort to go to the YMCA this weekend (and why I plan on going to the Water Fit class tomorrow night) is that I had an experience this week that gave me a preview of my life, and I didn't like where it was headed. On Thursday I had an appointment at the UK Legal Clinic to redo my will, mainly some minor changes, and it was down on Maxwelton, a street about a half a mile from where I work, so I saw no reason to go get my car from the Orange Lot, drive there, etc. I thought 'It's not that far, I'll just walk. I'll get my steps in, etc.'

It had been raining all day but was just spitting a bit when I got off work early. I'd alotted a half an hour to get there, even though Google said it was an eleven-minute walk, as I walk slowly. What I didn't realise was that the ground would be fairly uneven going there, even the better sidewalks, and it made me put more pressure on my right foot, which hurt because I'm sure I have arthritis (and it was a rainy day) in the metatarsals that were broken when the car ran over my foot and hit me a few years ago (we'd treated the ankle fracture, but the metatarsals weren't that displaced). Anyway, I had shoes on that were usually sufficient for walking, but they're Mary Janes, not my New Balance ones. My sock on my right foot kept twisting and going down into the shoe, making me walk funny. I wound up actually using my umbrella as a cane. By the time I got to my destination, my hair was wild, I was exhausted, and I was moving like a 90-year-old woman. The lady at the centre saw me struggle up the steps and after my appointment, she specifically asked the nice young law student to make sure I got back down them alright. I then walked the half-mile back to my workplace, and then through UK's hospital, caught the shuttle, and then walked across the Orange Lot. I could barely move by the time I got to my car, and I was in bed by 7:30 pm. All I could think of was that I needed to get back into exercising. I'm up to 310 lbs and terribly out of shape. My friend says that he can hear me breathing hard all the time, and when I listen to the game recordings I can hear myself. I need to work on this, or I will be feeble prematurely.

:(

I'm a little frustrated. On the one hand, I finally made it back to the YMCA after an absence of nearly a month [things happened], mainly because the Cthulhu game was called, and open swim in the warm water pool is all day, from 10 am-7:45 pm, so I made an effort to get over there after doing my Sunday chores. Unfortunately, that means that lots of kids, who could not be in the main pool due to a full round of lane swimming, were all through the warm water pool, jumping in and splashing and playing with balls, etc., and there was precious little space to actually use the pool for exercises while this was going on. I won't say they were young hellions or anything--they were just kids being kids and largely unsupervised ones at that. So I managed to do some exercises next to the wall, but I couldn't do the warm-up walks or anything. After about half an hour I gave up, got towelled off and dressed, and went home. On the other hand, previously to going into the pool I managed to use the Nu-Step reclining elliptical for a longer period than before, about 15 minutes, or about 2/3 of a mile. I also tried out my new Bluetooth headphones, which are placed inside a sport band that is washable (you just take the speakers and controller out). They worked well. I think the solution, for now, is to go to the pool late in the day, after the swim lessons and classes, so about 8:30 pm-9:45 pm. It's late, I know, but hopefully, it's quieter and the kids will be in bed. Of course, it's about the time I start winding down for bed myself. But I'd hate to not be able to use my membership fully or have to cancel, but I'll have to find a time to do my exercises, as that was absolutely the whole point of joining. And the Beaumont YMCA is the only one in town with a warm water pool, so I can't just go to one of the others for that, anyway.

It's very quiet in the house

Just the sounds of my fans going above my head and nearby. We finally have some relief to the heat (it's been in the 90s with little to no rain for weeks), with rain in the forecast tomorrow, but I'm hot-natured, so even though it's in the 70s now both inside and out, I keep the fans on in my room whenever I'm there. But the quiet is nice. Sometimes it's good to only hear your own thoughts.

Today  I did many things but I did not go to the YMCA and do exercises in the pool like I meant to.  I haven't given up, I just had a lot to do today.  But I did have some time to myself and some relaxation time, as well as game notes and laundry and errands.

I went to the pharmacy today to get my roommate some medicine and see if they had my Lantus, as I started on my last pen of the pack.  Turns out they'd sent a request to my doctor's office for a refill and it had been denied.  The reason? They said they had never prescribed it.

Now, I have been on Lantus for a couple of years, Basaglar before that for a short time when it was on my insurance's formulary, and years of Lantus prior to that, including quite some time of it from this office, continuously up till this past month.  So obviously there has been a mistake. I'll have to call them on Monday.  I'm hoping I have enough to last me through Monday so we can get it taken care of, a pen only lasts a few days--I get 10 per refill, and they last about 3 days each.

On Habitica, the task/productivity 'game' I play, there was a reading challenge I took up to read a book called The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury.  Now I like Ray Bradbury, and it's actually a children's book, so I thought it would be good to read some fast-moving fiction. It's been such a struggle to read fiction (even non-fiction has its challenges), for several reasons.  For one thing, I think being on the Internet has made my attention span that of a gnat.  I've also apparently been a little off in how I use my bifocals, and it's hard for me to find a nice comfy place to read--I can't read in bed easily, and the comfy chairs are in the study (where my friend is often watching streaming stuff) or in his room.  Reading in bed requires lots of pillows, a folding lap desk, and a study pillow with a neck bolster.  I can read at the kitchen and study tables, when it is quiet, but the chairs are wooden and really need cushions after a while.  Still, I managed to read the whole book in a very short time, maybe an hour or an hour and a half (it's 145 pages long).  I enjoyed it--I knew all the various cultural ties to the practices of Halloween, but that was fine. And I'd figured out what happened to one of the characters.  I guess the only real thing I had a bit of an issue with it--not a lot, just a bit, were that there were no girls at all in the characters, and little to no character description or development, really.  But it is a product of 1972, and while Bradbury's writing deviates poetically from standard writing styles, he shares a common thread you find particularly in male writers of the time, and especially in science fiction writers, somewhat tilted towards action and away from characterization.  (Women, by contrast, tend to over-describe and have a lot of emoting going without driving the action forward at all)--a good writer balances both.  Still, his description of the settings and experiences are very good, and this story actually needs somewhat blank characters, as they represent certain timeframes of history in their costumes and with the exception of the one character from whose perspective the story is told,  there's no real personality among the children, and I guess there really doesn't need to be.  Anyway, I did enjoy the story, and it was a little chilling there at the end, so suitably Halloweenesque.

Later, we ate dinner from Subway with a friend, who had a couple of Pierce Brosnan 007 movies on, and then we returned home and I took up finishing the laundry.  I've done my clothes and I'm working on my friend's bedding right now. I'm going to do mine tomorrow.

Tomorrow I think I'll try to get up early.  I was supposed to do a couple of shelves, pulling off the books and dusting them.  I didn't, but I can today.  I did do the game notes, which were more timely.  If I could get that and my normal Sunday pre-game chores are done really early, I might still be able to go to the Y and do some exercises in the pool and work out in general for maybe an hour, total.  Then Monday I can go back for the low-impact pool class that I took this past week.  I did really well with everything (and have been in much less pain and been able to move and bend better as a result) except this thing where you put the foam dumbbells under your knees and then balance above them.  I need something to hold on and even so couldn't do it.  The instructor suggested getting a lighter pair of dumbbells (I had the heavy ones) next time.  People were really nice and non-judgmental, though, and I enjoyed it.  The instructor was very good.  We ended with a mindfulness exercise.  So it starts out easy, gets the heart pumping, puts you through all sorts of movement, but it isn't extremely intense--just right for my level of conditioning.

I  also need to run by the library while they're open and pick up a book on hold on the zero-waste home--I've been on the list for a while.  It must have been there when I picked up The Halloween Tree earlier, but I didn't realise it was in, so I didn't look.  I also checked out CDs by Sam Smith and Rush.

Okay, I'm going to get ready for bed.  The laundry's still in the dryer, but at least I'll have my teeth brushed, etc.  Hope you're having a good weekend.

Go, me!

I finally got to the YMCA around 6:15 pm, spent 10 minutes on the reclining elliptical/Nu-Step machine (starting small), and then an hour in the pool, doing my exercises.  I feel really great.  On the other hand, I was able to weigh myself on the scale in the ladies' locker room. I'm 310 lbs, which is just two short of my all-time greatest weight of 312. :(  So I definitely need to make changes, mainly staying away from the vending machines, since I eat pretty well at home, with all the homemade, vegetable-laden food.

Today's agenda

1. Shower.
2. Take medicine.
3. Caffeinate.
4. Do two loads of laundry.
5. Go to the optician.
6. Go to the Rusty Scabbard [a local gaming store that's been around for ages].
7. Go pick up a couple of books on hold at the library.
8. Go to the YMCA and work out and then hit the warm water pool during open swim.
9. Do the game notes.
10. Dust some bookshelves.
11. Relax.

I should be asleep

But I'm not very tired, which is a little odd.  I was pretty active today, walking over 7500 steps, although I did not go to the Y and work out, mainly because I had some errands to run that had to be done today and while I could have gone to open swim after 8:15 pm, that's a little late.  I don't know about exercising that late.  Of course, it's a warm water pool and it's pretty relaxing, so maybe it'll be fine.  I'm definitely going to try to go to the gym Saturday for a much longer time, try the Nu-Step machines and the pool and try to figure out where the sauna is, as that's always nice to end with.  (I did see where the hot tub is. I've never been in one but it looked very inviting.

I was sharing things from my newsfeed on Facebook and apparently, I got share-silly because a pop-up window came up asking me if I was a robot; I had to check the box to continue.  I need to be doing more sharing on this page; I've hardly written anything all summer.  I'm going to take the 'habit' I have on my phone on Habitica (the app that's a productivity one but with avatars and roleplaying game trappings that I've used for years now) and make it a daily, meaning I'll be more likely to think to write.

There are several applications I'm using right now that I'm finding useful for my health, beyond the one that comes with my activity tracker or something like Samsung Health or Google Fit.  I highly recommend them:

Daylio -- This is a mood tracker that I've used now for over 1100 days (I know, I have entries for that many).  Given that I have Bipolar Disorder II, it's been really helpful in seeing how my mood varies.  I'm generally in the good category, so that's nice to see.  It allows you to track activities as well that might contribute to the mood.

PainScale -- This app allows you to track where and how intense your pain is, as well as a journal, keep track of treatments, triggers, and you can also track food to see if what you're eating is contributing.  It keeps track of the weather and activity factors as well.

Ate -- This one is in beta.  It's a visual food diary that has you take a picture of your meal and then answer a few questions that have to do with mindfulness--why did you eat, who did you eat with, where did you eat, etc., and rather than keeping track of nutrients and calories, it asks were you 'on path' or 'off path'.  It also calculates the time between eating.  So instead of working with minutiae, you're getting to the reasons why you eat and how mindfully.  I mentioned it to my therapist, actually, as in addition to cognitive-behavioural therapy she includes mindfulness. I'm seeing her about every three or four weeks.

Okay, I think I will try to go to sleep, maybe listen to some soothing music.  I've been listening to the collaborative album Ed Sheeran put out all day, and I've now got 'South of the Border' stuck in my head.  I like it, don't get me wrong, but it's too damn catchy.

Have a good night.

So

On Wednesday, I graduated from aquatherapy (got the shirt to prove it). :)  Now I could go to the pool at Cardinal Hill for $5 a visit and work out there, but that would get pretty expensive pretty quickly if I want to do it two or three days a week, and I'd have to get there by 5:15 pm to get anything done, as the pool closes at 6 pm. I usually get off work at 5 pm--I had a special schedule where I got to come in early and leave early on Tuesdays and Thursdays temporarily, but as we progress into autumn and winter it will be less likely I can do that (I'm very light-sensitive in the morning as far as waking up, which is why I bought an alarm clock that lights up in the morning.)

It has different modes including cycling through colours, an evening mode where it shuts off after a certain time, one that changes colour to do with the humidity and temperature, and then a guided breathing one.  But most importantly, a little before the sound alarm goes off, the light gradually brightens to bright white when it's time to wake up.

Anyway, I talked it over with my therapist and I decided to join the YMCA last weekend.  I was able to get 10% off and no joining fee through work, with everything prorated for September.  I tried to go to the pool last Monday, actually, (only Beaumont YMCA has a warm water pool like the hospital), but the heater was out.  They got it fixed later in the week, though, so yesterday I went and spent some time doing my exercises.  It was during an open swim, so there were a couple of families with small children in it, but I did fine, at least until they were playing with a ball, but I still managed to get all my walking in, most of my leg exercises (I forgot a couple), but did forget to do my arm ones.  I'll do better next time.

On Monday [tomorrow], however, there is a class that I think I'll try to go to that's a basic workout in the pool.  Tuesday I have my first real session of cognitive-behavioural therapy for fibromyalgia.  Wednesday I'm going to try to go to the Y again for open swim and do my exercises, and then again on Saturday.  I hope to make that a standard thing.

Today I'd thought about going because we weren't playing the game, but I'm having a slight reaction to a shingles vaccine [my second dose], where my arm hurts a bit and my joints and muscles are aching a little.  So I didn't quite feel like getting into the pool today.

Anyway, that's what's going on these days with me.  I thought I'd actually sit down and blog for a bit.

Today I:

1. Accomplished everything at work I meant to.
2. Cancelled my YMCA membership. That saves $46 a month. I have used it exactly four times in eight months, so it was time to let it go. I joined mainly for the pool, but the water aerobics classes were always during the day while I was at work. I also tried to get into a programme where you get four free personal training sessions as a way to get into exercising, but they never got back to me when it came to scheduling the sessions.
3. Went by T-Mobile. As of the 28th of this month, I can cancel the broadband service on my tablet and save $30 a month. Plus, I found out there is possibly a discount from work that would bring it down further, so I'd save over $40 per month total.
4. Plan on a rather quiet evening at home.

Tommorrow I:

1. Need to pay my rent as early as possible so my leasing office doesn't file for eviction, which would incur at least $100 further cost. [Update, 1/14/14: a little concerned as it is 12:45 am and the cheque I put in on Saturday, while showing as a pending transaction, has not cleared yet and been added to my available balance. In order to avoid that $100 penalty, I must be able to withdraw funds by 9 in the morning. Wish me luck!]
2. Will go over to my friends' house for 'The Originals' and 'Supernatural'.

Wednesday I:

1. Start physical therapy on my neck very early in the morning. I'm hoping for relief, as it is interfering with my sleep, work, and generally.
2. Will go over to my friends' house for 'American Horror Story: Coven'

Thursday is at home with 'The Big Bang Theory' and maybe some 'Downton Abbey'. Friday I'll be over with my friend watching 'Grimm'. At some point soon I also need ot do laundry, really, really badly.

I think I'm going to see if I can do anything with my arm to get it comfortable. The problem with nerve pain radiating from your neck is that it is both numb and it hurts like crazy at the same time. That shouldn't be the case, but sadly, it is.

I went to the YMCA again and worked out for awhile

So go me! I know I've gone very rarely so far this year, but that's twice within five days. The idea is to go regularly in the coming year. I know, resolutions don't often work, but it's worth a try.

I've had a quiet night enjoying being alone and having some 'me' time

relaxing to a Pandora channel for Loreena McKennitt and then watching the last two episodes of series one of 'Downton Abbey'. I really must watch the other two before I encounter many more spoilers--there was a trailer for series four on Facebook this morning that managed to give away something major and I'm going 'lalalalalalala' to make sure it doesn't really sink into my brain.

I must get up very early in the morning and take a friend to an appointment before work, so I'm going to keep this brief. Just wanted to check in. Turns out last night I got home and just didn't feel like going onto the computer. I'd had a nice meal of Chinese food from Jin Jin and a couple of episodes of 'Alphas', so it was a nice night, I was just tired. Oh, speaking of Chinese food, I saw two things on Facebook today that were hilarious. The first relates to Chinese food (can't vouch for the numbers):

Then there was this. Even our local YMCA shared this one (although like the other, I first saw it from George Takei):

Today I got a book on fitness for all everyone by the Mayo Clinic. It's full of useful info like how to start a cycling or walking programme, how to exercise for different conditions, etc. Now the trick is going to the Y and putting some of that into practice. I'm going to try to go after my gynaecology appointment tomorrow if I can.

Okay, that's enough for one night. Hope your week is going well. I'll try to write tomorrow. Good night.

The last couple of nights

I have come home and been too exhausted to do much more than go straight to bed. Last night I was nearly falling asleep on the drive home, even though it was about 8 pm, but I did manage to rally just long enough to watch an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory'. It was the one with the luminous fish and Sheldon's mother, from season one. But then I just crashed.

So now I'm up. We're dong the grocery run after the UK football game lets goes off (around 3 pm), so I have some time to do some things. The plan is:

1. Go to the library. I have fines to pay (bad librarian!) and I want books.
2. Go the the farmer's market. I am craving real tomatoes.
3. Work on and finish the game notes.

If I have time, there's getting an electronic ignition for my aquarium hood and going to the YMCA. But the first three are the ones I really want to get done before I go over to my friends' house. I'm up, I'm showered and dressed (except for shoes), and I'm eating some coconut cranberry granola cereal I got from my foray into Trader Joe's the other day. So I'm almost good to go and it's not quite 10:30. :)

Wow...

One of the things I did before bed last night was disarm the five alarms I use to wake up in the morning. I rarely just sleep in to when I want these days, and I decided I was going to do it. That was about 11:30 or so last night. I woke up about 10 am and got out of bed at 10:22. I slept well and long. So I'm up, it's cycling between sunny and cloudy outside, and the cicadas are so loud I can hear them from inside.

Things I'd like to do today:
1. Do some reading. I'm working on Charlaine Harris' Dead and Gone, the last Sookie Stackhouse novel.
2. Watch some videos. I have one of the 'Sherlock's to catch up on, some 'Downton Abbey', etc.
3. Go to either the pool or the YMCA, or both.
4. Work on the window boxes (they were tossed around by the storms this weekend, and some of the plants need some attention, plus the strawberries are sad and almost dried out in places.
5. Get some pots and re-pot some of the indoor plants like the hoya and the prayer plant.

I don't think I can do anything about my dark aquarium. The folks who told me about the electronic ignition assembly (I can't remember what it's actually called) are usually closed on Labor Day, as it is a family-run business. I'm not sure Incredipet or PetSmart would be helpful. I don't have to replace the whole hood, just that assembly, but I don't remember how to, to be honest. That may be something for later in the week.

I totally crashed

when I got home from Kroger after work. I worked 9 1/2 hours today, trying to make up some time for the half-day yesterday. For once it wasn't that my blood sugar was through the roof, I just had a busy day. With the exception of a few things that needed to go into the refrigerator, I just left everything on the couch and went straight to bed, ostensibly for a short time (I even changed my alarm tone, and it did wake me up after a half hour, but I went back to sleep). Now, three hours later, I feel better in general, although my joints are really bothering me, no doubt because of the rain (we're having a thunderstorm now--I think thunder is what actually woke me up.) I had packed my bag for the Y today just in case I felt like going, but what I really needed was the pool, and the pool here wasn't an option due to the weather and there is no open swim at the High Street YMCA on Wednesdays, so no pool today. Again, trying to manage without ibuprofen due to the blood drive tomorrow, despite arthritis pain. Hey, I'm pretty good at chronic pain and grinning and bearing it, despite the whining I do here sometimes. It's acute pain that I'm a real weenie about.

The rain is coming down pretty hard now. Maybe it will make it to the window boxes. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to try to work another long shift, and Friday as well. I don't feel as bad about coming down and crashing as I could have because my class has been extended for last submissions by the 19th, as opposed to Friday. That doesn't mean I can wait till the last moment, as I have two assignments to do, but it's a relief, anyway. If it's not raining in the morning, I'm going to try my best to do a few things around the house that include taking out the recyclables. I never got around to them earlier.

So the question becomes what to do with the remaining evening. I could watch 'Big Bang Theory' or 'Downton Abbey', or I could work on the notes, but the sound of the rain is actually quite soothing. I'm halfway tempted to head back to bed and just start my day tomorrow super early. It would be the best in terms of my joint pain, and I'm still tired. Not just sleepy like usual, but actually tired. It was a busy day, with a lot of catch-up to do. We did have our employee appreciation day, with a catered picnic (inside, due to the muggy weather that threatened to pour) and we got some movie tickets like we usually do each year. Yay.

There are quite a few stories I really meant to blog about tonight. I'm a bit behind. But there is one that really broke my heart, and so I'm including it here. The rest will have to wait, I'm afraid. And instead of including the teaser text for the story this time, I'm including the picture, which really is worth a thousand words. This is what we have to look forward to on a larger scale over the coming years, and it's very sad. The picture is by Ashley Cooper/Global Warming Images. I'm not sure we can avert their fate at this point, but I hope so. I hope this picture becomes a rallying point for raising awareness of what we are doing to the environment, to other creatures, and ultimately, to ourselves.

A victim of climate change? Polar bear found starved to death looked 'like a rug'

Guess what?

Yesterday I finally went to the YMCA and worked out. I did a round of cardio and got my heart rate up to 140, sweated quite a bit, and generally had a good time. My friends and a co-worker really helped get me there through encouragement. I didn't go into the swimming pool because one, I was on this side of an asthma attack and it didn't seem advisable, and two, I'm still afraid of being the big pink blobbie (my swimsuit is neon pink). But as YKWIA put it, I should be the best pink blobbie I can be. People were all shapes, sizes, ages, etc., so I feel a little better about being there. I'm going to try to go tomorrow. A friend has a doctor's appointment (and I'm taking him) tomorrow afternoon, but the Y's pool doesn't have open swim till 7:30 pm, so it should be doable. Go me.

I sat down with someone more knowledgeable than I about diet and diabetes today and she helped me get a plan together for dealing with carbs. It's not extremely low-carb, fairly balanced, but she put together a good guideline that should help me track them, which will help my blood sugar and probably help me lose weight, too, so I'm going to put that in action. That, along with the exercise and going to the endocrinologist in a couple of weeks should help on the diabetes front.

I've been pretty busy at work each day this week. After work today I went and got a friend, went on a small grocery run, and then watched 'Ugly Betty', 'H2O: Just Add Water', and some stuff on Paula Deen with YKWIA. Before I left I fixed him dinner and now that I'm home, I've been texting with another friend. But I must admit, I'm fading fast. It's 11 pm already; the day has flown by. I should probably go on to bed. But I wanted to touch base here. I've got some news stories I'd like to blog about; maybe I can do that tomorrow. In the meantime, have a safe and wonderful evening. Good night.