It takes a village

Yesterday as I was about to leave for work, my roommate pointed out that my car, which just has the plastic on the window, was in no shape to park over at UK.

I'd been worried about the ADA hangtag disappearing. He pointed out that my car itself might be stolen, so I called my supervisor to ask if I could be late, and I took the bus in, which took almost an hour and a half, but I was actually only 40 minutes late for work. I was thinking I'd have to ride the bus for the rest of the time till payday [March 9th] when I'm off and can get the part put in by my mechanic.

Over the course of the day, I had friends from my department and another offering to do various things, and a plan was concocted and modified throughout the day.

• I checked with Autozone after a suggestion and the switch was not actually $150 like Tire Discounters had said (surprise) but $52. For signing up for e-mails, I got $10 off my first order, so I was able to get the whole thing, with tax, for $45. It's supposed to be here today but there may be a delay per a message I received this morning.
• The plan is to have my manager's husband try to put it in on Thursday if it doesn't require taking the inside of the door off, or the weekend if it does. I sent pictures from the website of the switch, including the plugs on the back, to my manager to share with him.
• Meanwhile, one friend took me home yesterday so I didn't have to ride the bus. My supervisor is taking me back and forth over the next few days; she comes in a little earlier, but I'm getting up about the time I would take the bus and I'm getting here quicker. They even picked me up/dropped me at the door to keep me from having to walk a distance to their cars.

I REALLY appreciate all the support from my friends at work who are helping. It really does mean a lot.

Sigh

I never knew much about Scott Adams. I found 'Dilbert' mildly amusing, but it wasn't my favourite strip or anything. I could relate to some of it, but there were others, such as 'Cathy' or 'Calvin and Hobbes' that I related to more.

After reading some of the comments he made and about his history of controversy, I believe he's basically an irrelevant whackado, and can therefore be dismissed.  I'm sure some will say, 'but he has the right to free speech'. Well, of course, he does--this is America. But...freedom of speech really only applies when you are threatened with government action to suppress your beliefs.  It doesn't mean you have the right to escape all consequences of your words. The newspapers and other consumers are in no way obligated to buy his products. A lot of people simply do not understand that and try to justify hate speech, conspiracy theories, and all sorts of messed-up stuff in the name of freedom of speech.

Newspapers have dropped the 'Dilbert' comic strip after a racist rant by its creator

Second day with the lamp

I don't find it annoying bright. Yesterday I had a mild headache; that's apparently normal when you start out. Right now I'm trying to get used it and only doing about 10-15 minutes a day, working my way up over the week to the recommended 30. Now if only I can wake up early enough to use it tomorrow morning. It's not really effective if I do it after I get home; it would just throw my sleep off. So I have to get up early enough to sit with it for a few minutes. We'll see. I'm going to try my best to make it a habit, at least until it gets light in the early hours again.

I got my oil changed at TIre Discounters yesterday, and after buying the larger package that includes two discounted oil changes, a 5% off voucher for service, and they threw in my windshield wipers for free, they tried to raise my window but it's down so far they were afraid to break it.  It is the switch, though, which with the labour would be about $200. I couldn't do that yesterday, but I'm going to try to have my regular mechanic look at it when I'm off for a couple of days in March.  So I went to Autozone and got a $10 kit that puts plastic on the windows and you tighten it with a hair dryer.  I was a little concerned as to how to do that, as I don't have an adapter between car electric sockets and household electric plugs, and our extension cord, if it reaches that far, would have to be plugged into the same circuit as the computer, and I don't want to trip that breaker.  You know how those hair dryers are. Funny, I have one, and I only use it for things like this unless it is 8 degrees or so outside and I've just taken a shower. I do, however, have a power bank I specifically bought so I could use my CPAP in a power loss situation like an ice storm or thunderstorm.  So I think that will work.  Anyway, that's on the agenda.  It's not really securing the car, but at least it will keep the rain out and maybe deter someone from just reaching in and getting my hangtag.

My therapy appointment went well. We're working our way through The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, 6th edition.  We went over chapter 1, which is a quick overview of different types of disorders and treatments.  I found out that I have every major type of anxiety disorder except agoraphobia--generalised anxiety, panic, obsessive-compulsive, phobic, social, and post-traumatic stress disorders.  Chapter two will be about the causes of anxiety disorders.  My therapist also sent me a couple of videos, one on what she calls 'monkey chatter' or negative self-talk, and the other on creating a ready toolbox of breathing to deal with symptoms.  I'm going to watch those here in a bit, and try to go through chapter two tonight.

Right now I am caffeinating so I can do my Sunday chores.  We're not playing the Call of Cthulhu game this weekend, although I did go ahead and transcribe the notes last night. We watched the first episode of 'Babylon 5' (we'd seen the hard-to-find pilot movie the other day; it's on Tubi).  I never watched it regularly enough to keep up with the story, but it is really well-written and coherent, particularly as the creator wrote out the whole saga before filming, so there's a lot fo foreshadowing, and certainly, it is not 'make it up as you go along'. Then we watched 'The Orville', the first episode of season 3, in which I cried through the whole thing, as it examines the precursors and aftermath of suicide. It wasn't my depression causing me to cry--I'm feeling a lot better since my meds were upped--but there were other reasons it was timely but upsetting, and I thought the story captured things very well. Plus, I like the character it centred around a lot.

Okay, I'm going to take my medicine and check out the news on the web. Have a great day.

So yesterday

So yesterday a child who wasn't even two nearly destroyed my bay at work.  She pulled down the giant Plexiglas screen (I don't understand why it was there, because the other half of the desk was completely open, so anyone could sneeze. The masks are protection, too, but still...)  she was pulling the rmonitor iser back toward her until she was tired of the tug-a-war as I tried to bring it back. She nearly broke the chalkboard I had out dropping it on the floor (it had previously been hidden behind the Plexiglas, along with my plants, including a glass 'light bulb' on a stand with pothos in it).  Mom was just trying to hold her but did not get her far enough from the desk to do a bit of good.  There was a language barrier, and the child was also having a meltdown, so the interpreter and mother had a hard time understanding each other, and since it was a video interpreter [think iPad on a stick], it was on my side of the counter, so I could hear better, but it was Arabic, which I don't know at all. If it had been Spanish I might have been able to help, or at least repeat it.

Once they left, I hung the blackboard on the wall high up, storing the stand and the Plexiglas under my back counter in the cabinet, and also moved most of the small plants, including the glass holder, to that back counter, along with a picture friend of my best friend. Now the only things left there are the larger ZZ plant and a small Peperomia on my side of the ZZ, where I also hid my pen holder, which includes these flower-top pens I love that my supervisor gave me for Secret Santa, which one other patient has already tried to take.  I had already moved my one Beanie Baby, a purple cat with big eyes that a friend gave me when the older cat died.  My magnifying glass, which is a big half-globe lens, is in its box, far away from prying eyes or little hands [I had a kid stick his arm under the riser to get that when it was out of the box at one point].  I think, with the exception of the monitors, I've got everything situated so nothing can break.  Mind you, the only reason I had anything of sentimental value or breakable on the desk in the first place is that most were hidden by the Plexiglas.

Sigh.  While I like children in theory [as in, they can be cute from a distance and I believe it is everyone's duty to protect them], I don't really feel completely comfortable around them, especially wiggly toddlers, and I'm absolutely terrified of babies because I'm afraid to hold them in case I drop them. So when a coworker comes with their newborn to show it off, I am not in line to hold it. I was an only child, never babysat enough, and never have had kids. I just don't have easy rapport. As a result, the coworker told me once they were gone that my face was priceless, a sort of RBF.

This is one of the many reasons I never had kids. I just couldn't handle it.

I'm feeling better

I have tried to be proactive and have taken steps to try to deal with and alleviate my depression, and as a result, I am feeling quite a bit better.

My psychiatrist upped my lamotrigine up to 50 mg of each dose (I take two a day). So that's 100 mg in an increased amount of medicine, and I think that has helped the most in the short term.  Let's face it, much of my mood issues are a result of brain chemistry. I see him six weeks from our last visit, so late March, and I've already made that appointment with his office (ours are usually telehealth).

I met with my new therapist last Saturday and really liked her.  She was nearly gleeful when she discovered I prefer cognitive or dialectical behavioural therapy and do well with 'homework'. We're going to actually start on anxiety and frustration coping techniques first because when she put me through the same test I'd taken the week before, it came out more anxiety (which is my usual problem), and it all fuels my depression. I see her again today. She has in-person and telehealth visits, but for now, we're meeting in person, as I think that is more helpful at times with a therapist.  For example, when I told her about the test, the DASS-21, she immediately downloaded it and had me take it.

I tried to meet with the counsellor from Able To, a programme through my insurance, but her phone calls wouldn't come through even though I did not have 'Do Not Disturb' on and they were going straight to voicemail. We managed to connect through voicemails and phone tagging to reschedule for next Tuesday. I think it may have something to do with T-Mobile's scam blocker, which is very useful but might have been over-enthusiastic.  Now that she is in my contacts, I'm thinking it won't be an issue.  But I'm going to check and see if I have to do anything to whitelist her number.

As a result the behaviour coach for Thursday didn't happen either.  I think she rescheduled both, although I'm not sure. It just never happened, no notices, no phone calls.  So hopefully that will happen next Thursday.  I want to try to work on the depression angle with the two insurance counsellors.

I bought a Voraiya UV-free 10,000 Lux therapy lamp and it arrived yesterday.  I used it for 10 minutes this morning, and plan to work up over the next week to 30 minutes a day in the morning, assuming I can get out of bed in time.  And it doesn't have to be 30 minutes all at once. Just now I had it off to the side. It's okay apparently to use my ant-glare prescription glasses so I can type, etc.  I have a slight headache, but that apparently becomes less of a problem as time goes by.  It wasn't as pricey as I thought (I think it was only $35 from Amazon.  There is a slight risk with these lamps as far as years of use for macular degeneration, a disease that robs you of some of your eyesight and is usually found in older people.  Both my mom and grandmother had it. I've never had signs, and I'll double-check with my ophthalmologist, but it is caused by exposure to a form of ultraviolet light, and this is supposed to be UV free. So hopefully that's fine.

So for now, I think taking immediate steps has helped.  I got up this morning, ate a banana, drank a glass of water, took my medicine with it, took my insulin, and now I'm going to go to the store for creamer, make my friend's coffee in the percolator (I do that on Saturday, as he is Jewish and observant), and then take a shower and get ready for my therapy appointment at 11 am.  At 1 pm I have an appointment with Tire Discounters for an oil change [my poor car, I knew it was overdue--I've gone 7,000 miles, but upon looking at the sticker, I realised it hasn't been done not in the last year, but in 2021, at least at Tire Discounters (I may have had my mechanic do it, and I have checked my oil and added as needed regularly), tyre rotation, windshield-wiper change (my driver's side is absolutely shredded), and to see if they can raise my driver's window.  The power window fell when I lowered the other night and is totally in the door.  I could cover it against the rain, but my main issue is that I can't lock the car.  I have an ADA (handicapped) placard for general use and a similar hangtag for parking at the University of Kentucky.  I'm afraid they will be taken, I'll get a citation (which is very pricey), and I'll have to have them replaced.  I don't need it fixed just now (it could be the switch, but it could be the motor and either is somewhat pricey, and I'd rather have my regular mechanic do that); I'm just trying to lock the car at this point by raising the window and keeping it closed.  After that, I'm going to try to get my hair trimmed, as it's starting to curl out of a pixie cut and I have an $8 coupon for a haircut.

Okay, I should get dressed and go get the creamer.  I still have to make the coffee (which takes about a half an hour with the percolator), go get the creamer, try to caffeinate, take a shower, and then do this whirlwind of tasks today.  Have a great weekend.

In the past week

 I have:

1. Made an appointment with a local therapist.
2. Had a telehealth appointment with my psychiatrist.
3. Had my meds adjusted by 50 mg twice a day.
4. Entered a telephonic behavioural programme through my insurance that allows for therapy and coaching with two different people each week for seven weeks [the same programme where the screener ran me through the DASS-21, which said I was severely depressed]. I have my appointment on Tuesday evening and the second on Thursday evening.
5. Had an in-person appointment with my new therapist to establish care.
6. Taken the DASS-21 again and came out mild on depression, anxiety, and stress, with anxiety the greatest. (It's just for the past week at a time; because I have Bipolar II, my mood can vary quite a bit from one to another.  In fact, last night I couldn't sleep, and I don't know if it was too much caffeine or swinging towards hypomania).

Having taken steps to deal with my mood issues, I feel better this week.  Also, my boss has been very understanding of how difficult it has been to get up and barely make it under the wire when clocking in or even being slightly late.  She even wrote me an encouraging note.  She lost her husband last year, so I think she gets depression.

The telehealth with my psychiatrist was early in the morning. The therapist is on Saturdays; the telephonic programme calls are in the evening, so they won't impact work that much.  Instead of three months, my doctor will see me in six weeks, and I have that appointment set up.

My goal this week is to get up on time and shower at least every other day.  At one point I was having so much trouble with it that I went six days without one. Let that sink in.

So, considering the week before last I was being given the suicide hotline number and the location of the nearest hospital that could deal with a mental health crisis, I think I'm doing better. I took my first dose of the increased lamotrigine last night (it's also called Lamictal; it's a seizure medicine also used as a mood stabiliser).

Since I came out with a lower depression score and my anxiety fuels a lot of my depression, we're going to start with dealing with frustration and anxiety in local therapy.  She suggested The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J Bourne as a beginning, and it turns out I already had it, so we're going to start with chapter one.  I told her that I did well with cognitive behaviour therapy and homework, which made her very excited, I think.  She also knew my former therapist (we think he retired or moved), who had helped me with my hoarding issues.

So I think I've started to go in the right direction.

Just checking in

I found this photo of my mom and me from when I was in my 30s.  I'd totally forgotten I had it.  On March 2nd, it will be six years since she died of complications from advanced non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver.  We had a very complicated relationship (aren't most adult child/parent ones that way?) Sometimes I miss her, and sometimes I'm angry at her for things I still struggle with.  It's kind of a toss-up.  But right now, I'm missing her.

I'm so glad they found this on an old hard drive

and released it. It was originally supposed to be on Linkin Park's Meteora album, but didn't make the cut.  Now they've released it, including Chester Bennington's vocals, for its 20th anniversary.

Wow

I just purged at least thirty links off my sidebar, especially the sections of librarian and Kentucky blogs.  So many pages gone...either not written on for years, not online anymore, or put behind a privacy screen for invited readers only.  Most just don't exist anymore.  I guess those voices are still going on somewhere, I hope. Maybe blogging is just passé. I don't know.  Like mine, a lot had sort of dwindled down as their owners/authors went on to other things.  Well, I've been writing my thoughts for 21 years now.  I do not want to let it just die away.  So here's to pumping new life into it.  Feel free to keep your links to this blog active. I'm going to do everything I can to rekindle its spirit.

Freaky

I was working on my curriculum vitae and suddenly it started displaying Hebrew when I typed. It was a little freaky. I forgot that I had both Hebrew and Spanish keyboards installed in addition to US English, mainly because I was doing both in Duolingo. Haven't worked on the Hebrew in a while, so I didn't even remember having it.

Update on my mood issues

In the last couple of days I have:

1. Called and made an appointment with my psychiatrist.
2. Received a phone number for a therapist a friend goes to that he thought would help me.
3. Received a phone call from the lady I spoke with the other day who said that despite my severe depression, they were willing to have me participate, so I'll meet with her on Tuesdays (she's a behavioural therapist) and with a behavioural coach on Thursdays.

It can't hurt to have too much intervention, I don't think. I meant to call my friend's therapist yesterday when I was off from work, but was too loopy to remember after the MRI.

I've known for awhile that I needed to get into therapy and that I was feeling down, I just didn't really realise how bad it had gotten till I'd spoken with the woman from Able To, which partnered with UnitedHealthcare. Being given the 988 number plus the closest hospital for mental health crises was kind of a wake up call. Her first appointment was in March, but she decided she wanted to start things this month, in a couple of weeks. I think she was afraid to let it go longer. So that's that. I'll have a whole team to help.

I think even people who have a background in psychiatry tend to think of the manic phase of bipolar disorder more than the depressive one. I spent most of my childhood, in retrospect, fairly depressed, and was very depressed when I was a teen and young adult. Since then I've cycled between both occasionally, with hypomania less than depression [I've never had a true manic episode--I think--but plenty of hypomanic ones, so I'm considered Bipolar II in terms of classification. Also, I used to have (before medication) these emotional storms that were so overwhelming. often lasting about 20 or 30 minutes, coming on like a seizure. I'm not sure if they're related to that, or not. They were the closest I ever got to actually killing myself that I've really gotten to, especially if driving (I have driving anxiety, which I think contributed, as anxiety seems to fuel my depression and vice versa). If I were home I could get into bed and ride it out. But they were draining. Once I was given mood-stabilisers, it helped so much, and I haven't had one in years. I never have done cutting, but I have ruminated over self-harm and/or dwelt on the idea that the world would be better off without me. And that scares me. And I've been thinking on and off that way since about November, so it's lasted several weeks. I'm hoping my psychiatrist can help in the short term and getting therapy will help in the long run. Just taking those steps have helped a little, I guess. I'm not feeling quite so overwhelmed. So here's helping all this helps.

This is so me lately

What a beautiful, haunting song

I don't know if you are familiar with the terrible Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire of 1911, but this song became an anthem of remembrance and a call for reform in the aftermath of the fire.146 garment workers died when fire broke out, locked in by the people who ran the factory as a matter of practice.  123 of those dead were women, and the workers were primarily Italian or Jewish immigrants/  The youngest of the victims whose ages are known were 14.  The oldest was 43, although most were teenage and young adults.  Yesterday I heard a beautiful song 'Mayn Rue Plats' (My Resting Place), composed by Morris Rosenfeld, a former employee of Triangle.  The lyrics are beautiful, and they are presented in both Yiddish and English at the Jewish Women's Archive, along with an audio clip as performed by the Yiddish Community Chorus of Boston Workmen's Circle.

Here is another beautiful rendition, recorded by Vocolot, the Jewish women's a cappella quartet based in California, on their album, Behold! :

Morris Rosenfeld also wrote Requiem in response to the fire itself, four days after the tragedy.

Well, got my annual MRI done for the year

Yesterday I had my annual abdominal MRI with elastography in the morning over at the UK building I actually see from my desk every day. They gave me happy pills to take an hour or two beofre plus one for right before the test. I don't do close spaces. Fortunately, a friend could drive me and she picked me up, and I was off the whole day despite an early MRI because I was drugged. I figrued I had to make sure I didn't giggle when the paddle shook my whole abdomen like a bowl full of Jello. Composure, Lisa, composure, even on lorazepam, although last time I never felt 'drugged', I just didn't care that I was in a close tube with my shoulders scrunched. As it should be. Fortunately this seemed to go better than last time, although putting in the IV blood just got everywhere.

It was over and I was home by about 11:30. I went ahead and had some cereal (I hadn't eaten anything, although technically not ordered to fast, since it was the abdomen, it seemed a plan.) Then I went straight to bed by noon. My roommate woke me up at about 5 to see if I was okay while taking a break from cooking the Shabbos meal. I was up, in a way, listing though. I was really fighting to stay awake. I took one pill at 7 am and one at about 9 am as directed, and I was still pretty loopy eight hours after that with no sign of clearing. My CGM supplies finally came yesterday, so I got the sensor on and was waiting for the warmup, so I'll be able to see my blood sugars in real time again. I tested and it was pretty high, 244, as I hadn't taken any other meds that day until late. I didn't take the bandage off for a long time where they did the IV, but I got the annoying wristband off as soon as I could.

Last night I crashed for four hours, got up at midnight to do the dishes, and went straight back to sleep. This morning I woke up early but felt a little hungover, so apparently, lorazepam is pretty strong for me. I got up, made coffee for my friend, woke him, spoke with him before he started his Zoom services, and promptly went back to sleep for another hour and a half. I finally feel like myself again--still wobbly, but that's normal. I've stopped walking into walls, mostly, at least.

I did take a quick peek at my results on MyChart (yes, I know, I have a telehealth appointment to discuss it Monday with my provider, but still). Everything is pretty much the same (yay, gallstones!), but also my fat in the liver went down from 14% to 11%, so that weight loss seems to have some good effect and while I'm the same level on the elasticity/fibrosis/cirrhosis scale, I went down a few tenths of a point, and that's good. So I'm happy. Fatty liver caun cause non-alcoholic nonalcoholic steatohepatitis (NASH), an aggressive form of fatty liver disease, and even tumours that had to be treated with local chemotherapy. It affected her ability to clear out certain toxins, including ammonia, and it would make her very confused as a result. My stepfather once found her 'making soup'. She had just put a Bic lighter in the microwave and was about to hit the button. She had to have her keys taken away from her because she couldn't remember how to shift the car. She would be fine early in the day and terribly confused at the end. The main treatments were large amounts of laxatives and countless paracenteses (when you have fluid drawn off your abdomen with a very large needle put into your abdomen. At one point it affected her kidneys and she needed one-time dialysis. It's a horrible disease. and it is what killed her, with terrible pain while she was in hospice. And that's just what I saw. My stepfather bore the brunt of taking care of her. I want to do what I can to not go down that road. Please, if you ever come up with 'slightly elevated liver enzymes, don't just take the explanation that you might be taking Tylenol. If you have a family history, are diabetic, or are obese, ask for an ultrasound with elastography. That's what I did, and it scared me because initially, the results were cirrhosis, which is why we did last year's MRI, which showed that it was medium fibrosis, which can still be reversed or lessened with effort. I'd had those elevated values since my 30s, just like my mom did, but it wasn't until I advocated for myself and my endocrinologist ordered the test, mostly to put my mind at ease, that I got more information about my health and how to treat it.

Ah, my life

My insurance set up a session with a behavioural therapist to evaluate me for a wellness/support programme they offer, using life coaches to help with chronic pain, stress, anxiety, and health conditions. We went through my history and medications for an hour on the phone  among other things, she put me through the DASS-21, which measures depression, anxiety, and stress from the last week, as well as a more general health screening algorithm. I've been feeling a little down (it has been a difficult week), but generally feel mostly normal for me. Great news was my anxiety is mild, which is unusual for me and my stress is moderate (normal for me). The scale did kick me out as severe in the depression area. So I probably do not meet the requirements for the programme, and they'll call within 48 hours to let me know plus any alternatives. In the meantime she gave me the new phone number for suicide prevention (988) and told me she the which hospital that handles mental health crises is nearest to me.

Note, I'm not actually suicidal, just depressed, like I have been most of my life. And she caught me on a bad week, one where I found out that I couldn't swing going to my cousin's wedding 9 hours away due to finances and driving anxiety. And I do have a new therapist lined up. But still... I didn't realise I was doing that badly, and I thought this would lead to a seven-week coaching like I did with diabetes last year, and got this result instead. 

Good news

I got an e-mail from Byram and my continuous blood glucose (CGM) supplies are on their way. It took two phone calls and two attempts to give them the correct fax # for my endocrinologist so that they could get the prescription, but there you have it. I might even get it right around the time I have my MRI, so I could put the sensor back on.

I've pricked my fingers several times today, with the highest reading being 135 and the lowest at 79.  Normally I could just look at my watch, as some lovely person created a watch face that interfaces with my Dexcom G6 and put it on the Galaxy Store for free (thank you!) If you're interested, it's called the G-Watch app.  Anyway, as I got a little low, I had to pay a lot of attention to how I was feeling, whether it was like a low. Normally I rely on having the reading at any given moment, and alarms for if I go low.

Well, I guess I need to go back to pricking my fingers for awhile

I have a Dexcom G6 continuous glucose monitor, which is an absolute godsend, as I can check my receiver, phone, or watch at any given time to see what my blood sugar is, and make good decisions in terms of my insulin and carbs based on that, as well as receiving alerts when my glucose goes down or is very high. An alarm will wake me up if my blood sugar tanks in the night. I love this.

Sensors last for 10 days; transmitters last for 90. My last sensor expired today, and I don't have replacements because my durable medical equipment provider (Byram Healthcare) [which usually does well, but I've had a couple of times now that it's gotten hung up, probably during authorisation] didn't communicate properly with my endocrinologist's office, apparently sending their request for clinical notes to the wrong fax number, and per my doctor's nurse, they never received the request or the form that is required. The fax number has made it's way to Byram thanks to another phone call from me, so the ball is in their court. But it's frustrating. I get that they need the prescription, but I got a notice back in the middle of December that it was time to order, and did, and they didn't act on it in a timely manner as far as I can see, and they cancelled the order when they did not hear from my doctor, so I had to reorder to get the ball rolling again.

As it turns out, even if this hadn't happened, I couldn't put my sensor on at the moment, because I have an abdominal MRI elastography in six days, and the sensor can't be on my body, as it would be fried by the magnets. That's all fine, but I hoped to have more sensors for immediately after the MRI. Once they are finally shipped, it will take 5-7 business days to get to me. The last time this happened it took a month to sort out and I didn't have my monitoring sensors for two weeks.

It's frustrating. Now I'm going to have to go back to pricking my fingers a few times a day or if I feel funny, and there's always that chance my blood sugar will dip at night, so I'm going to check before bed. I'm also not supposed to drive if it's under 100 per my doctor, so I may check then, too. The other day I went to leave work and my glucose was 71, and my supervisor had to give me chocolate because I only had two glucose tablets with me. I've fixed that, but still. It's a lot more work to manage things.

So I did some revamping today

as I'm sure you can tell, as the background image and fonts are completely different. I was trying to fix an issue where the sidebar text was loading at the bottom of the page rather than in a column to the right, and finally solved it after two hours by dragging some gadgets around the layout. I also went back into several posts and removed some code that was causing abnormal displays. I originally designed this blog myself, then several years upgraded to the design I had this morning. This one is by the same person, just a cometic difference with the background. Blogger's come a long way in twenty-two years. Anyway, since I'm trying to rekindle this blog, I thought it was time for a change. I'm also so glad I fixed the issue, although there is still a lag in loading the right-handed sidebar (there are now two, one on the left, one on the right). It was driving me mad.

Question of the day

Just wondering, what phrase would you want on a t-shirt? Mine would be:

In my defence, I was young and unmedicated.

I use that a lot.

It's the little interactions...

I have a little chalkboard at my desk with these fun facts about me:

My favourite colour is purple.
I'm a ninth-generation Kentuckian.
I have worked at Shriners for twenty-five years.
I used to be a librarian.
My middle name means butterfly.

This is a good conversation starter and I get a lot of enquiries about the length of time my family (the Cobb side) have been here (1790, given land for fighting in the Revolution), or asking what my middle name is.

The other day I was asked if I were British. Because of the 'u' in favourite, of course.

I'm not, or Canadian, or Australian. But I've used International Standard English since I was in my late teens or early twenties. I read a lot of British writing, for one, but when it comes down to it, I prefer the older spellings and consider them more correct. When Noah Webster and Melvil Dewey (originally Melville Dewey) decided to simplify American English spelling, I think they did the language a disservice. Yes, I'm not a Dewey fan, even though I'm a librarian. And there are more reasons to not like him, so you may want to look them up.

Anyway, the mom confessed to me that she still uses correct English in texts, and I said I did too, even though younger people seem to think this is rude, I couldn't bring myself not to use full words and correct punctuation. We agreed that good grammar was more important. And that's when she said the thing I loved so much.

'Correct grammar is the thing that separates us from the animals--that and opposable thumbs.'

It's so nice to meet a kindred soul in your daily wanderings.

Yearning for Spring

Happy Imbolc/Candlemas/Groundhog Day. Spring is right around the corner, hopefully.

I am such a geek

My original non-wallet case for my phone died (specifically the ring to hold onto), so I got a new one, primarily because I wanted something simple that would not interfere with wireless charging. This one:

1. was less than $9,
2. matches my main wallpaper.
3. glows in the dark when exposed to light.

I am such a geek. 🤦‍♀️

Images from long ago

One of our care managers brought me some photographs from an album they'd found. They were from Halloween maybe 20 years ago. I'd brought in my steamer trunk and telescope to work. I wish I still had my vest (it died in a horrible leaking spammed air conditioner accident, along with my favourite UK alumni sweatshirt and my master's hood). I just took photos of each picture, and they were glossy, so forgive the quality.