I don't like MRIs, and this is why

 Today it took everything I could to finish my annual liver MRI/Elastography. [My mom died of non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver/fatty liver disease, and I have a fairly mild case of the same disease that we're monitoring and trying to improve.] I'd gotten a Valium to take a little before it to take the edge off of my anxiety because I'm claustrophobic. Because of that, I took the bus to UK rather than drive, since I couldn't drive back. Usually, I'd ask someone for a ride, but I'd asked them if I could go home by bus instead, and they said that would probably be okay.

I meant to wake up early, take a shower, and go in without too much trouble. I overslept, giving me twenty minutes to throw clothes on and brush my teeth in order to catch the bus. I couldn't even put my contacts in, which is okay because when I'm in an MRI machine I don't want to see it, and while I usually close my eyes, a fuzzy machine is better than a clear one. I didn't take my anxiety or allergy medicine, which became an issue. By the time I got there on the bus, my mouth was so dry I could barely talk because I couldn't have any liquid or food for four hours prior.

I got taken back to get into the gown and  I did have to get other patients to help me tie and untie the gown since I can't raise my arm or put it back without pain, and the tech had left me to undress and later, dress.

But then it came time to do the test. The techs were so good. I told them about my injury and they positioned me so that I'd be comfortable on that side, or at least as much as possible. I never felt any different from the Valium I'd taken as directed before. I'd had an MRI last month on another part of the body and there was a sort of floating-head sort of thing that lasted just long enough to get through the test. This time, nothing. To get the abdomen, you have to go really far into the machine, as the centre of the body has to be in the middle of the machine. I've been stuffy the last few days (no Covid, but a really light cold) and I'd woken up with no congestion, so I thought I'd pretty much gotten over it.

If you've never had an abdominal MRI focusing on the liver, a voice tells you when to breathe normally and when you should exhale and inhale then hold your breath. I found that in the tight space, lying down, my congestion built up and I could barely breathe through my nose. By the end, I was having to breathe through my mouth only and barely kept from hyperventilating. They have changed the protocol so the test is much longer. I wound up counting numbers to distract me and get through it.  You particularly need to hold your breath when the paddle hits against your abdomen for the elastography, which measures the pliancy of the liver. It got harder and harder to do, and the period of holding my breath was about at my limit with the breathing issues.

They asked me how I was doing because I think they knew I was breathing hard (I coughed at one point) and I asked how much time we had left, and it was about five minutes, some of the longest minutes I've experienced. By that time, I was in a state of moderate panic, although I did finish it. I'd arrived at 8:30 AM, probably started the test about 9 AM or shortly thereafter, and got out at 10:40. I immediately bought some water and then realised I had to get down from Chandler to Kentucky Clinic for my follow up in just a few minutes. When I'd made the appointment a year ago, they'd been on different days, but they had to change the appointment a couple of months ago and had put it on the same day. I'd been dubious that the results would be read in time, and that was true.  My time with the PA was spent talking about my health in general, but she'll have to get the results to me later through the portal. We will change to another drug next year. I then had to go back to Chandler on the shuttle to get my insulin from the pharmacy, then caught the city bus to the transit centre. I brought some paperwork my PCP had signed to allow me to get a disability ID so I'd pay less for bus passes and fares, since I'm coming up on a time when I can't drive and will have to go into work on the bus for four weeks. So I got the ID and pass and then caught the bus home.

By the time I got home I was exhausted by the noise, the lights, the people, and all the other stimuli on the bus, at the hospital and clinic, and mostly the MRI. I came home, changed clothes, and immediately went to bed with some soft music on, and slept for three hours before venturing out of my room.

I am so glad this is a once-a-year thing, and that I took off from work due to taking the Valium. But it was a difficult day. :(

[Update: I got the results through UK's portal. The images were fine, but the elastography did not give usable information. So the whole thing was a wash. :( The physician assistant gave me three options:

1. Repeat the MRI/Elastography in a year.
2. Repeat the Elastography itself 
3. Take a biopsy of the liver to see the amount of fibrosis.

I decided on the first. I'm not sure how the elastography without MRI works. I've had an ultrasound elastography and it had me in a much worse condition, giving erroneous results. And as far as the biopsy...no.]

Healthy progress

When I was not walking as well as I am now, being dizzy and having a lot of knee pain at the time, I set my step count goal to 3,500, which may seem really low, but I was lucky to reach it maybe 3-4 days a week at most. After the gel shots in my knees and the physical therapy for the dizziness (primarily caused by a malfunction in the Vestibulo-ocular Reflex (VOR) [where you have a dysfunction in turning the head and focusing on a point at the same time] with a little Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV) [where tiny calcium crystals build up in an area of the inner ear where they should not be, causing dizziness], I'm walking better. I keep a collapsible cane with me, but I haven't been using one full-time anymore. I told myself when I met my goal for seven days a week, I'd move up the goal. So... On six days last week, I was over 4.000 steps. On four, I was over 5,000, and on one, 6,000. I'm going to move it up in 500 step increments--so up to 4,000 for now, and then if I can get it up to 4,000 consistently, I'll move it up again. I'd like to at least get up to 5,000 steps a day. Wish me luck.

BTW. I got a call from my neurologist Friday afternoon and he'd gotten the report back from my MRI early. Everything looked normal. In addition to the dizziness, we'd been checking on the very frustrating memory issues I've been having and trouble finding words, especially names of things/nouns. He is under the impression that it is not my brain, or even ageing, but rather side-effects of some of my medication, which is unfortunate, because it is extremely important that I stay on said medications, and if I were to try to find an alternative, it would be bad, as what I'm on is working very well and it can take ages to find the right medicine otherwise. He said that unless it gets markedly worse, he wouldn't recommend pulling me off of them. If it does, then we could reconsider or put me on additional medication (something I'd like to avoid if I can). But I'd asked for an evaluation because I was afraid it was a kind of degenerative aphasia, which is a form of dementia, and at least we've ruled that out. So yay!

Well, got my annual MRI done for the year

Yesterday I had my annual abdominal MRI with elastography in the morning over at the UK building I actually see from my desk every day. They gave me happy pills to take an hour or two beofre plus one for right before the test. I don't do close spaces. Fortunately, a friend could drive me and she picked me up, and I was off the whole day despite an early MRI because I was drugged. I figrued I had to make sure I didn't giggle when the paddle shook my whole abdomen like a bowl full of Jello. Composure, Lisa, composure, even on lorazepam, although last time I never felt 'drugged', I just didn't care that I was in a close tube with my shoulders scrunched. As it should be. Fortunately this seemed to go better than last time, although putting in the IV blood just got everywhere.

It was over and I was home by about 11:30. I went ahead and had some cereal (I hadn't eaten anything, although technically not ordered to fast, since it was the abdomen, it seemed a plan.) Then I went straight to bed by noon. My roommate woke me up at about 5 to see if I was okay while taking a break from cooking the Shabbos meal. I was up, in a way, listing though. I was really fighting to stay awake. I took one pill at 7 am and one at about 9 am as directed, and I was still pretty loopy eight hours after that with no sign of clearing. My CGM supplies finally came yesterday, so I got the sensor on and was waiting for the warmup, so I'll be able to see my blood sugars in real time again. I tested and it was pretty high, 244, as I hadn't taken any other meds that day until late. I didn't take the bandage off for a long time where they did the IV, but I got the annoying wristband off as soon as I could.

Last night I crashed for four hours, got up at midnight to do the dishes, and went straight back to sleep. This morning I woke up early but felt a little hungover, so apparently, lorazepam is pretty strong for me. I got up, made coffee for my friend, woke him, spoke with him before he started his Zoom services, and promptly went back to sleep for another hour and a half. I finally feel like myself again--still wobbly, but that's normal. I've stopped walking into walls, mostly, at least.

I did take a quick peek at my results on MyChart (yes, I know, I have a telehealth appointment to discuss it Monday with my provider, but still). Everything is pretty much the same (yay, gallstones!), but also my fat in the liver went down from 14% to 11%, so that weight loss seems to have some good effect and while I'm the same level on the elasticity/fibrosis/cirrhosis scale, I went down a few tenths of a point, and that's good. So I'm happy. Fatty liver caun cause non-alcoholic nonalcoholic steatohepatitis (NASH), an aggressive form of fatty liver disease, and even tumours that had to be treated with local chemotherapy. It affected her ability to clear out certain toxins, including ammonia, and it would make her very confused as a result. My stepfather once found her 'making soup'. She had just put a Bic lighter in the microwave and was about to hit the button. She had to have her keys taken away from her because she couldn't remember how to shift the car. She would be fine early in the day and terribly confused at the end. The main treatments were large amounts of laxatives and countless paracenteses (when you have fluid drawn off your abdomen with a very large needle put into your abdomen. At one point it affected her kidneys and she needed one-time dialysis. It's a horrible disease. and it is what killed her, with terrible pain while she was in hospice. And that's just what I saw. My stepfather bore the brunt of taking care of her. I want to do what I can to not go down that road. Please, if you ever come up with 'slightly elevated liver enzymes, don't just take the explanation that you might be taking Tylenol. If you have a family history, are diabetic, or are obese, ask for an ultrasound with elastography. That's what I did, and it scared me because initially, the results were cirrhosis, which is why we did last year's MRI, which showed that it was medium fibrosis, which can still be reversed or lessened with effort. I'd had those elevated values since my 30s, just like my mom did, but it wasn't until I advocated for myself and my endocrinologist ordered the test, mostly to put my mind at ease, that I got more information about my health and how to treat it.

Please send good thoughts

So the sensor to my glucose meter is expiring in a little over an hour, but I can't replace it, even though I do have others, because Tuesday morning I have an MRI and I can't wear it (it has metal in it), and I don't want to waste a ten-day sensor for just a little over a day's time. So it's back to pricking my finger for about 36 hours. Not bad, really, in terms of the timing.

I am nervous about the MRI for a few reasons. One, I'm claustrophobic. They've given me hydroxyzine to take a little while before to take the edge off. Second, it looks like I'll have to lie flat for about 45-60 minutes. I sleep with a CPAP. I'm a little iffy on breathing while flat for that length of time. I may ask if they can put the fan on. Third, it's an MRI/elastography of the abdomen to measure the pliability, of lack thereof,  of my liver. Back on the summer, I had an ultrasound/elastography and I had to spend some amount of the time exhaling all my breath out (in a mask) and then holding without breathing over and over, so my abdomen would be still. It made me light-headed. I'm thinking this might be the same, and that's why she didn't want to sedate me. (An open MRI was not an option, as the images would not have been clear enough). Lastly, this is to see just how damaged my liver is. I know it's enlarged. The ultrasound indicated cirrhosis due to non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. If that's the case, it's very serious. It could mean liver tumours, advanced liver disease, paracenteses (drawing fluid off the abdomen that had built up with a long needle), encephalopathy from a build up of toxins (think loopy as someone dealing with dementia--my mom once put a lighter in the microwave, and my stepfather caught it before she turned it on...she'd thought she was making soup), even an eventual wait for a transplant. If it isn't full-blown cirrhosis, but a milder stage, that's great, and there are things I can do to reverse our stabilise it. I've already lost 25 lbs., although that was mostly from being put on another diuretic. That's one thing I can do, along with lifestyle changes and exercise. So it's good to know exactly what we're dealing with. But I'm nervous and a little scared. My mom died of this, and it was terrible. If you wouldn't mind, send some positive thoughts my way Thanks!

Blissful coolness

So, I'm broke, but I managed to pay for the air conditioning to be fixed, so things are much more pleasant in the house.  It was funny, I don't see any reason to tell YKWIA this, as he would be terribly offended, but when I called to see if I could get the fan motor that was maybe one tick up from the cheapest part the tech quoted, the lady said that he'd actually given us an estimate on an original Coleman part that is factory-authorised, but knowing money was an issue, had given us the quote based on a senior discount.  So Tuesday came and I left my debit card with YKWIA and apparently the fan blade itself was so rusted in place that it wouldn't move, so the tech had to get that order brought over, which took awhile, but he got it fixed.  I guess that's what burned out the motor in the first place--it rusted over the winter because when we first turned it on in May, it pretty much worked for just a few hours if that. When I got home, I asked how much more the fan blade was.  'I don't know. I just handed him your debit card.' That struck fear in me, as while I had extra money in my account, it was earmarked for my car insurance.  So I went to my e-mail and it turns out that the tech did the complete repair for the original quote, without charging for the blade at all.  Yay! I really liked them--we went with Synergy, and the tech's name was Zach Taylor and he did an excellent job.  I have to thank my former boss for pointing me to them--she'd heard an ad and directed me to them.  That night, I didn't know what to do--I had to sleep under a cover and I wasn't drenched in sweat that morning, nor did I have the 'break-out-in-perspiration-as-soon-as-you-get-out-of-the-shower' issue.  But because I'd kind of gotten too used to that, I didn't sleep super well that night.  I did last night, though.  Yes!

Yesterday was mostly about medical testing.  I did work from noon to 4:30 pm, but I had an EEG at 7:30 am and an MRI of the brain at 10 am.  I had gone to my neurologist concerned over periodic dizziness (I think now that it's vestibular, but we needed to rule out other concerns).  I also expressed concern that my memory issues have gotten worse, and while it's probably normal ageing, I've done a lot of replacing words that I have had a hard time finding with the opposite, stuff like that.  Now I have ADHD, the inattentive types, so maybe it's just partly that, and as we get older there's more information to juggle.  But I've had several untreated concussions, and my family doctor and I wanted to rule out any chance of dementia or early Alzheimer's, a personal fear of mine given my great-grandmother's battle against the latter.

Anyway, the EEG--which was quite interesting, by the way--was negative for any of that.  My brain's not slowing down, even though it sometimes seems that way.  And the MRI was fine, too.  I came home yesterday and looked at the MRI scans they'd given me at Lexington Diagnostic Center.  Not that I know how to read an MRI at all, but you can kind of look for light or dark areas that don't fit the rest of it, and I didn't see anything.  This morning my neurologist's office called and said it was fine.  I did get put on a beta blocker that is good for essential tremor, a benign tremor that can make your hands shake when you hold a spoon or write, or hold a letter, or even a phone, say if you've got it above you in bed. :) Not that you should be lying in bed looking at your phone when you should be asleep, right?  Anyway, it's a small dose and it's good for anxiety, too, according to my psychiatrist.  It does seem to be helping.  Otherwise, I got a clean bill of neurological health.  I just am going to have to accept that my memory is not what it once was (and in truth, it was good when I was young, I didn't have to take notes in high school, but I dealt with a lot less information).  Given my experiences with anxiety and depression, it's no wonder I've had some impact on daily life.  And I tend to compare myself to YKWIA, who has an eidetic memory, rather than say, your average 51-year-old. :)

Today I won the parking behind the building (which is funny, as I'd reserved it yesterday since I was coming from my appointments, so I'm a little spoiled--I have parked there two days in a row), so I took Samantha, my co-worker to her car both days, but today after that I went over to the pharmacy for my pen needles (which are a pain to get anywhere else if you don't have the prescription on you, like you can shoot up heroin out of an insulin pen, thank you, Kroger).  Then I went and got YKWIA from our friend's, the one he's helping who is battling cancer.  Since my schedule has shifted a half-hour earlier and I hadn't had to go to my car on the shuttle, even with the trip to the pharmacy we were home about 5:30 pm.  He was really beat, so he went to bed, and he's still there.  I'm going to wake him in a bit to take his medicine.  I ate, and then realised I was pretty tired, too.  I worked very hard and very steadily today.  I like my new job, but I can't ever say I'm bored.  So I settled down for awhile with the cat about 7 pm after I'd fed the animals and brought the dog in--who actually wandered around the yard and acted nearly normal.  I woke up at 9:45, started some bread making (now that the temperature and humidity are back to where they should be), filled the dishwasher, put away plastic dishes, washed the ones in the sink, took out the trash and recyclables, and took the Herbie and Rosie (the trash and recycling containers, respectively--we name ours here in Lexington) out to the kerb, and generally straightened up a bit.  Now I'm listening to Pandora and spending some time on the computer.  We're about an hour from bread.  The cat's on my bed again.  I think I'm going to put the flowered quilt back on the bed, as I don't have to worry about sweat stains now.  But that might be a task for tomorrow morning--the cat is quite happy and quiet at the moment, and we like to keep it that way.  So I have a task to do online and then I may lie back down till the bread machine beeps and listen to music.  My phone turned off, as I let its charge run down, so I'm playing the music on the computer.  I may do some brain exercises that go with an application on my phone that are pretty challenging, too.  Just to help out on the memory issue--which I do fine with the memory tasks on that.  So maybe it literally is just in my head.  I don't know.

Alright, I am definitely getting some water and finishing up here.  I also should work on a book review by the end of the week.  And I just got another published.  Yay!

Good night.

Pretty interesting--the body from top to bottom, as seen by an MRI

Your body, from top to bottom.

Posted by I fucking love science on Monday, September 28, 2015

Got the results of the MRI today

And it wasn't good. My medial meniscus is, to use the surgeon's term, 'shredded'. It will not get better with time or physical therapy according to him. Plus, I do have some arthritis. He said that if I were older he'd recommend a knee replacement, and that may be down the road anyway. But he definitely wants to do an arthroscopic partial meniscectomy. So we've gone ahead and scheduled that, with the proviso that I can find someone to drive me there and home. The surgeon's going out of the country for a bit, so it'll be near the end of the month. The idea, barring complications, is that I should be able to have the surgery on Friday, recover over the weekend, and drive by Monday or Tuesday, so long as I'm not on any narcotics, and most people take those for only about 72 hours, according to the nurse educator there. I'm usually very sparing with those anyway, and normally don't go through the full prescription, so here's hoping I'll be fine and driving and not miss work. I shouldn't have to have a walker or such, and hopefully the three steps that were so much trouble after my ankle surgery won't be an issue, as I can be weight-bearing as soon as I can tolerate it. Here is a video that demonstrates what they basically do:



I'm going to double check with our agent, but I think I basically shot myself in the foot (figuratively) with AFLAC, because when I went down on the floor to do the cleaning in May, I did twist some and immediately had pain, so that was what did it, but I thought maybe I'd just sprained my knee a little, and was able to walk, so I didn't seek medical attention via the emergency room or even my regular physician when the week began until it was obvious it wasn't getting any better. I think there's a time limit, something like 72 hours, to do so. I injured myself on May 17th and didn't go to the doctor until June 10th and the specialist till June 24th. So even though I have an injury that would normally be covered, has resulted in an MRI and will need surgery, I don't think I meet the requirements due to the time limit. Drat. But I'll double check to be sure. And my hospital coverage doesn't kick in because this will be done in an ambulatory surgical centre. Oh, well. It would have been nice. This is exactly why I pay premiums each pay period.

Okay, even though I just got home a little while ago and finally ate dinner, I'm going to go on to bed. A friend has an appointment tomorrow and I have to get him there by 7 am. He is not a morning person, so I'm going to go over around 6 am (meaning I should get up by 5 am) and hopefully help him get going. The nice thing is then I'll go into work, put in a full day, and I'm off both Friday, the Fourth of July, and Monday, so it'll be a four-day weekend. That's all the vacation I can manage, especially with the surgery coming up, but it's something. Unfortunately, the knee issue is going to keep me from going downtown to the Fourth of July festival during the day Friday, but I'll head over to the hospital where I work to watch the fireworks from the country club across the street that evening. We can park in our parking lot with our badges, rather than out on the street, and the front lawn is a great place to catch the fireworks. The weather is supposed to be great, with no chance of rain and cooler than the heat we've been having.

Sigh

Today I have visited three Kroger stores (one twice!), schlepped to a doctor's office to pick up a friend, and generally have been up and walking on my knee way more I should (it passed from uncomfortable to pain about 9 am). Grand total today (and it's not even the end of the day yet!) for steps is 12,297 (that's 6.89 miles--a personal record) so far. Tomorrow is another early morning as the MRI is at 7:15 am. Now I think it's time to elevate the leg and head on to bed.

PS I checked into the pay situation and as near as I can figure, it is correct. Which sucks. Apparently the government just got an extra helping of my taxes.

PPS You know, YouTube has a video for just about anything. Yesterday I was with YKWIA and we watched parts of a boy who had been eaten by a crocodile cut out of the creature that the villagers had hunted. They then proceeded to eat the crocodile, probably as part of a funeral feast, which seems a little odd to Western cultures, probably but I suppose represents a fundamental belief in conquering over that which stole away the life of a child and also to not waste good meat. Still, it was a little disconcerting.

PPPS Here is the final count--12,501 steps, almost 7 miles. Argh!

So I go on Friday and have an MRI

Which frankly, I thought I was over having to have them because of the screws in my ankle, but no, apparently they're not concerned about metal embedded in bone so much as metal in the brain or eyes. But that's good, because we can determine what's wrong with my knee. I got a phone call at home from my regular doctor today while I was in the waiting room at the orthopaedist, and the voicemail said the results of my Doppler ultrasound were in and while there were no blood clots, they would be referring me to an orthopaedist. So I called them and explained that I was at the office of one right then (my insurance doesn't require referrals, and I thought I'd get an idea of what was causing my pain in my knee, as opposed to just going to physical therapy blind). Apparently I have a popliteal cyst (also known as a Baker's cyst), but that's not what's causing the pain. The specialist didn't actually say what he suspected, but went ahead and explained my x-rays and the narrow-looking space between my bones in my knee were deceiving and the spacing actually was wider than it looked, although there was wear and tear. (Not surprising, I'm 47 and have had knee issues on and off for years). But what he put on my sheet in oh-so-nearly-unreadable-doctor-handwriting is that there was a possibility of a meniscal tear. The MRI should show the structures of the knee including ligaments, cartilage, and tendons, so we'll have a better idea then of what's wrong and how to treat it. The MRI is Friday, and then my follow-up appointment is Wednesday, so I'll know more then. I'm hoping it's minor and can be treated conservatively with rest, icing, maybe a brace. But I'm resting it quite a bit now and icing it as needed, and it's not getting better. If it's bad enough for surgery, that could be an issue because it's my right leg and I might not be able to drive for awhile. I said something to a co-worker about that being a fear and she said, 'I guess it would be back on the bus for you.' But what she doesn't realise is that the nearest bus stop would be a quarter of a mile and across a major roadway--the same one where I was hit when I was able-bodied--and so that just wouldn't work. I'd have to be off from work from anywhere from a week to six weeks or so, barring complications, depending on the procedure, it looks like. I have plenty of extended illness time, but still. I don't want to miss that much work. But for now, I don't even know what the diagnosis is, or how bad, so I'm going to try not to worry about it.

This has been a very taxing week (I really did not mean to make a pun)

As I believe I've written before, I have a payment plan with the IRS to pay off my taxes. Back in March I set up the agreement and then signed paperwork to have the amount automatically taken from my bank account each month. But there was a catch--it would take awhile before that would happen, so I had to make payments in the interim either by cheque or through an online third party by the 25th of each month. They were supposed to let me know when the first payment would come out. I think you can see where I'm going with this. The last I heard from them was in May, a duplicate set of letters saying it was taking a little longer to review my account, and that was it. So I've been checking each 25th of the month to see if anything has come out of my account, then going through an third party payer and paying the amount that night, so it's still on time.

I did this on Saturday. Apparently on Monday, the money came out automatically, sending my account into quite the negative. Since the online payer took out the amount owed and a second debit of their fee, and then the IRS took out the amount owed in two instalments as well, there were four insufficient fund fees (even though there was enough money for what I paid on Saturday).

I've talked to the IRS, the third party payer, and the bank. The IRS says it sent a letter telling me when it would start. I suspect I was supposed to get two different letters back in May and somehow a duplicate letter was sent instead. I have no way of proving that, of course. They will still require a payment next month; the double payment just lessens the timeframe of the payments. They suggested talking to the payer. The payer said that it would take 6-8 weeks to investigate things, that it would ultimately depend on the IRS, and since I still have some time to pay on the money I owe, it would be ultimately denied. The bank was sympathetic, but because there was no bank error they 'split it with me', taking off two of the charges.

The upshot of this is I cannot pay my rent on time this month. I am going to talk to the leasing manager tomorrow. Normally this is how things unfold: You have until the 5th to pay the rent. On the 6th, there is a $50 charge and normally you get a seven-day notice to ante up or they'll file for eviction. Sometimes they don't send the notice out for a day or two. Then you have seven days, with each additional day after the 6th costing $5 more. If I get the notice on the 6th, I have until the 13th. I get paid on the 14th, but could pay first thing that morning (late payments must be made by money order). So it will be a close thing, which is why I'm going to discuss it with them first. It also means I have to pay $90 in late fees. If they file in court, I think (if I recall from some of my less fortunate financial times), it's $100 on top of that for court costs, but you get to stay.

:(

So that's where I stand on that. I can get my bus pass, pay my phone bill, and eat for the next two weeks, but not pay my rent. I have checked and I think I will be able to pay my other bills (including the IRS) even with the additional charges when I get paid on the 14th.

Boy this is a pain. The sad thing is that it's really no one's fault (well, the IRS maybe a bit, for sending me the wrong notice), and if it hadn't been for the fact that it was on a weekend, the money would have come out and I would have known not to pay any more.

I will say that when I found this all out (before talking to the various agencies), I called YKWIA, who is oddly comforting at times even though he generally is not. In this case he was, I suspect because he realised through my disjointed blubberings that it was not, in fact, my fault for a change and that I'd been screwed over by karma or whatever whilst trying to be responsible.

I called him whilst waiting for the bus, then got into work a total mess. I'd obviously been crying. I hadn't eaten yet, so I stopped by the cafeteria and my satchel fell off my arm, scattering the salad I was making all over the bar. I did not lose my cool, but it was a close call. Then I went back to my office, stopped by the bathroom to wash my face, ate my salad, and hid in my cubicle doing what work I could do to take my mind off of things and letting my face return to normal rather than the reddened mass that weeping had created. It took a good two hours to truly calm down, and then I got caught up in teaching someone who is my backup what to do, and so I didn't call the others until the next day.

On Tuesday I also found out the results of my MRI. I have three bulging discs and a congenital stenosis (narrowing of the spinal canal) made worse through bone growths called osteophytes. The combination means the nerves are being compressed, causing my arm and shoulder to hurt and my lower arm to go numb. The good news is that it is not severe enough to require surgery, although they are going to send me to a neck surgeon to oversee my care (the doctor I'd seen was a hand/upper extremity specialist). Since I can't see the neck specialist until mid-July, they want me to start physical therapy for relief from the pain and numbness. I start tomorrow morning at 7:30 am. Yeah. That early. And when I made the appointment I told them early because I didn't want to miss work, and totally forgot that I'm off tomorrow. :)

Another theme that has been continuing throughout the week is trying to fix a computer where Internet Explorer opens and then shuts down immediately. The first day I tried several things, had no luck, mainly because most of Microsoft's solutions required a working browser, and got home late and went on to bed without blogging. Tuesday, the day of horribleness, I got over there only to find that the disk I'd made with Firefox on it was not in my satchel. I got home late that night as well. Yesterday I managed to take the disk with me, but even trying the other things and updating to IE 9, there was no luck fixing IE, but Firefox works. Last night we discovered that .mth files weren't opening in Firefox so I went over again and within a few minutes had the problem solved by downloading an add-on for that. I still haven't given up on the IE issue, as the person is used to that browser, but for now online browsing is a go, favourites have been imported to bookmarks, and saved files will open. I actually got home by dusk tonight, called to make sure he knew I was home, and took his suggestion to kick back and watch 'Bones' and relax for a bit. If anyone has suggestions for what to do about fixing Internet Explorer, I'm all ears. But for now, I'm not going to think about it. I'm home at a reasonable hour for the first time in days, when I didn't just fall into bed. And I have four days off! Here's to getting some things done, and getting some rest, and knowing that things will eventually get better. It'll be rough for the next month or so, and then hopefully improve. Wish me luck!

PS

I'm curious as to what they'll tell me on Tuesday when I have my follow-up appointment. They gave me a CD of my images to take with me, and being the curious medical librarian (and sometimes hypochondriac), I went ahead and looked at a couple. The kyphosis that could be seen in the x-ray is shown here as well, of course (my neck basically goes straight/slightly opposite of the correct curve, something that another family member has). It looks like a couple of discs are hanging out too far from between the vertebrae (although mostly to the anterior direction, if I'm oriented correctly), but the spinal cord itself looks fine and there doesn't seem to be an incursion into it that I can see. Mind you, I'm totally untrained in reading MRIs, so don't take my word for it. There might be small protrusions. There's also a spinous process (those pointy things in the back) that looks really short. I asked one of the nurses (who's now administrative, so she hasn't actually practised nursing in awhile), and her opinion was that I have Weird Spine Syndrome. :) We compared a few images of a normal cervical spine with mine. Neither of us could tell you exactly what was wrong, but we could tell it was a-b-normal. And I couldn't make heads or tails of the slices that show the cross-section of the vertebrae at all.

Oh, well, I'll wait and see what the experts say.

Speaking of which, it's about time to take some more of the ibuprofen now.

Good to be home

Just got in, ate something, called about a couple of prescriptions (one of which didn't transfer when I changed pharmacies) and updated my Java and Flash Player, along with taking Firefox up to version 5.0. All that took about fifteen minutes.

I feel pretty well, and not particularly sleepy, which is good given the fact that I've been up since 5 in the morning. I got out to South Broadway, accidentally got off a bus stop ahead of where I meant to, and then proceeded down to Rite-Aid. I signed up for one of their cards (does anyone NOT have a loyalty card these days?) because a 500 count bottle of generic ibuprofen was only $6.99 (regularly almost $20, and even the 100 count was more expensive). I went down to the MRI place, went through the paperwork, and got taken back promptly. They were very nice. I would highly recommend Lexington Diagnostic. They were happy with my choice of clothes; I only had to take my bra off due to the hook and eye closures in the back. They gave me earplugs, put my neck in a sort of cradle, stuffed lots of foam in to isolate my neck, and then put something that completed the ring around my neck and that was a little confining. It was an open MRI, but it can still get a bit close, but they put a fan on and that really helped, since I had fresh air circulating. I really appreciated it. The whole thing took about a half hour, less time than when I had my brain done. It's somewhat hard for me to lie still for that amount of time, but I did okay. A certain amount of vibration kind of made my neck and arms ache afterwards, and I was glad to get out of there, but it was okay.

I came out to get my satchel and put my bra back on and found that the locker was screaming. That would be the ringtone I promised to put on my phone for my friends. I talked briefly with one of them and consequently missed the bus by about two minutes. Since I had 70 minutes before the next one, I headed down to Waller Center (it used to be Imperial Plaza), intending to have Backyard Burger when it hit me that the Great Wall Chinese restaurant, my favourite in town and home of Tofu Goodness (also known as sesame tofu, which is fried tofu with a sesame sauce and broccoli) was also in the shopping centre. So I went there. I'm used to carryout and eating it at home (at least when I had a car), but I had it nice and fresh and probably burned my tongue three times on the tofu, it was so hot, but it was wonderful. The only trouble was I forgot to take my insulin until I got to work. I do that sometimes when I'm out and eat.

I only did the library stuff for about a couple of hours, since I didn't get into work until a little after noon. Then it was data entry. I left just a bit early.

I'm taking off next Friday so I can have a four-day weekend, and so we're going to have my backup person do the entries that day. She'll sit with me sometime next week to refresh her memory, and this will be a trial run in case I take vacation or am sick.

Okay, I have to get something done for a friend. I'll try to write later. Take care.

Okay, so the yesterday getting up at 5 am thing didn't work out

But I was up that early today, and I am doing laundry, enough to get me through Tuesday, although I plan to do more tomorrow.

I have taken to, as part of my morning routine, checking Amazon for their free Android application of the day, then going over to the Android market to see if its actually compatible with my device. Today's, for example, isn't--it's a ant colony simulation sort of game that looked interesting, but was pretty intense when it came to space taken up, and then it turns out it won't work on mine. Glad I checked ahead.

So today's the MRI. The plan is to go about 7:20, catch the bus, go out South Broadway and get there ridiculously early because of the way the bus on that road runs, stop by Rite-Aid, get some ibuprofen, something to drink, and maybe something like a protein bar for breakfast, and then walk down to the Lexington Diagnostic Center. My appointment's at 9:30. I figure it will be an hour, hour-and-a-half between preliminaries and the actual test, and then that will determine when I can catch a bus back. If it's going to be awhile (the South Broadway bus runs every 70 minutes), I'll grab lunch at Backyard Burger (they have a vegetarian burger they cook on a dedicated George Foreman grill), then head to work. But I figure about half of my workday will be shot. Good thing it's Friday, at least.

The increased ibuprofen has been helping my arm, with more numbness now than pain. I didn't walk yesterday because we had a tornado warning (got to spend time in the hallways, just like in elementary school). I think that is the first time in 14 years I've actually been at work when it wasn't a drill (they spent an hour-and-a-half a few weeks ago sheltering but I was home then, oblivious for all but the last 45 minutes or so that there was a warning).

Okay, it's time to check the clothes. Have a great day.

This walking thing might just be the ticket

I feel so much better doing it, I don't get sleepy in the afternoon, so can concentrate on my work, and I'm not as hungry. I'm wondering if I can go for a walk in my neigbourhood each morning, eventually, and then walk on break at work. One of my co-workers has said she might be able to go with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And if I can get to where I'm more active, I might add the stationary bike in the evenings. That's the plan, anyway. That, as well as eating less, could really impact my weight, but even if not, it would at least make me feel better.

I think the increased dose of ibuprofen is helping take the inflammation down from where my nerves are impinged at the neck. I've had much less pain today, so long as I'm careful with my arm, and I've had better feeling in it, less numbness. I looked at the bus schedule today for Friday's MRI. Because the South Broadway bus is a seventy-minute schedule, I have to get up at 7, leave here by 7:20, get to the bus stop by 7:40, and I'll be at the diagnostic centre about 8:35. My appointment isn't until 9:30, but the next bus doesn't go by until 9:45. I'm not sure what I'll do for that hour, as I doubt any of the shops on Waller will be open yet, and otherwise there's just St Joseph hospital over there.

Tomorrow the plan is to get up early and do some laundry, as I need clothes clean that have no metal in them. Getting off my Medic-Alert bracelet on Friday is going to be a pain to do--I think I'll enlist the tech to help if I can. At least it's on the arm that I'm having trouble with and not the other. I've had a bit of a sleep (as opposed to a nap) this evening, so I think I should be able to swing 5 am. I also need to do some light housework.

Hope you have a good night.

Exploring human consciousness

Brains of vegetative patients show life

Of 54 unresponsive patients whose brains were scanned at medical centers in England and Belgium, those five appeared able, when prompted by researchers, to imagine themselves playing tennis, and four of them demonstrated the ability to imagine themselves walking through the rooms of their homes.

One of those patients -- a 22-year-old man who had been unresponsive for five years after an automobile crash -- went on to respond to a series of simple questions with brain activity that clearly indicated yes or no answers, researchers said.

Their work is the first to give physicians and families the prospect of a biological test to determine whether a patient who shows no response to his or her surroundings is conscious and aware of them.

That information, in turn, could bring comfort to families and better care to patients who are able to demonstrate their awareness and communicate their needs. For those consistently unable to respond, such tests may bring a measure of comfort to families inclined to end life support.

This study may make us reevaluate what it means to be alive and sentient. I wanted to know more about their methodology. Fortunately the paper is available online for free:

Willful Modulation of Brain Activity in Disorders of Consciousness

The article is pretty interesting. I have to admit I don't know much about the trustworthiness of functional MRIs for determining answers to test questions, but it sounds like this technique may at least help scientists understand the true status of those diagnosed in vegetative or minimally conscious states.

Good news

I got the results of the MRI and there are no stress fractures, which makes me feel better. See, the ones I had before were in an area where a very large friend stepped on my foot years before and probably broke the bones then, so they were weaker and fractured with my weight and standing up to 10 hours a day at work. But if normal bone fractured, then there must be something wrong with my bone density or something. I haven't reached the age where they start scans yet, so I haven't had one. I so need to increase my calcium, though. I understand calcium citrate comes in something other than horse pills now. :)

What I do have, however, is a severe (she stressed that several times on the phone) case of peroneal tendonitis, so I have to wear the boot for at least a month. If the pain gets worse, then they want to take me to non-weight-bearing, so I'd need crutches. That would seriously be a problem at work. I will say that when in the boot I have no pain other than a spot on my leg where the boot's plastic rubs. I've been putting on band aids and wearing heavy socks (despite the fact that it's summer) in an effort to counteract that. Being diabetic, I have to be vigilant about eroding patches of skin.

Speaking of summer, I think I spent all day sweating. The hospital is air conditioned, of course, but I put a lot of boxes of children's books on a cart, took them to a closet, pulled out different boxes to unpack and put books on our clinic book cart, and put the newer ones (many were the same title, and I didn't want to overwhelm the clinic with too many of them at once) in the closet. I really worked up a sweat between pushing the cart with the boot on (although two people helped me out with that part) and toting boxes. I worked on that right up to time to go and went straight into errands in an unconditioned car, then over to a house where the air conditioning is turned off for reasons I won't go into. I also cooked over a stove there and did my laundry, so that raised the temperature around me even more.

So the first thing I did after getting home was take a shower. I'm clean, and I have a clean night shirt on, and this makes me happy, especially as I have both air conditioning and a fan if necessary.

Speaking of heat, on Friday I got my hair cut. I donated 10 inches of hair to Locks of Love, and the hair cut was free as a result. It's now very short, but I couldn't stand the long hair anymore even in a ponytail given the heat, so it's fine now, although when I perspire my hair as a whole goes damp, and then it starts to do a flip up. It's a little longer in the front than back, with layers. Here's a somewhat fuzzy picture:



I like it, but I'm not used to it yet. I'm used to flipping my hair up on the pillow when I go to bed, for example. But it doesn't get tangled and it's really easy to take care of. I can poof it up a little with mousse and a hair dryer, but this is just me after a quick shower and not doing anything but running a comb through it.

Heaven help me I am not photogenic in the least.

Well, that's all for now. I think I'll turn in early tonight.

I came across this video on MRI safety

when looking for something for a patron. Using a watermelon, an MRI, and a ferrous-based cylinder, it demonstrates the dangers of metal objects near the imager. There was an actual case a few years ago of a six-year-old boy killed because someone overlook just such a cannister. It's a little graphic (if you remember that someone died in a similar manner), but well worth remembering.


via videosift.com

Well--I got the results of my MRI

I have two stress fractures, which would explain why it hurts on the entire outer side of my foot, I suppose. I'm to wear the boot and come back in four weeks, remaining partially weight-bearing. If it gets too painful walking with the boot alone, they'll put in a prescription for crutches. I'll try to avoid that, although sometimes it hurts even while I'm in the boot, but nothing like when I'm out of it (it actually hurts this morning all the way up my lower leg, and burns, and that's after being on it just long enough to use the bathroom myself and take Cerys out. I haven't been wearing it at home unless I'm standing a lot. mainly because I tend to read with my feet up and that leads to napping, and I'm not supposed to sleep in the thing. But I may have to start putting the thing on as soon as I get home and take it off if I have a chance of napping. I've done really well at work and running errands, though--anytime I'm walking, being caught only twice somewhere I needed it without it. Ugh. Well, it's time to get ready for work. Just thought I'd share my troubles. At least everything else is going alright. :)

I had my MRI this morning

It wasn't too bad, although it's harder to hold your foot in place when you're knee's up then you would think. I kept feeling my knee falling ever so slightly. I hope the pictures were clear. Actually, I would know the results already, but they called earlier when I didn't have enough minutes on my phone (it's prepaid, and I didn't realise it had gotten low), so I couldn't check my messages. I'll have to call back tomorrow and get the scoop.

The office furniture won't be in for a couple of weeks after all, so I've unpacked a little bit of my desk and brought it back for the duration. The other day I had it to the point where the only things on it were my computer, phone, and wrist rests plus a sticky pad and a single pen. Can you believe someone went off with the pad and pen? Fortunately I found more today.

I didn't get a chance to listen to a radioplay today. Yesterday's was 'The Problem at Thor Bridge'. I checked and this collection doesn't include 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'. I bet that was a great production.

I didn't go home to Danville today but I did call and talk to everyone. I would have liked to have seen them but it was probably just as well that I didn't go--my foot's not doing so well with lots of driving.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Good night.

I am trying to decide

whether I should ask off and go to Danville on Thursday.

PROS

1. I get to see my aunts and uncles, after a little over a year. One couple lives in Texas, the other in Georgia, so they're not up that often.
   
2. My mother should actually be awake this time.
   

CONS

1. The Time of No Money is quickly approaching, and so I should save my gas.
   
2. I have an MRI early that morning and I don't know how long it will take.
   
3. Things are coming to a head regarding the library restructuring and I'm not sure I should take time off.
   
4. I have errands to do that afternoon.
   
5. I just went home a couple of weeks ago.
   
6. I'm not sure how late everyone will be there that day--I get the impression it's a sort of overlap as they're each going other places after visiting my grandmother and mother.

Obviously the Cons outnumber the Pros--but I would like to see everyone. I'll think about it. I've written my mom to ask when they'll be there. I think that will be the deciding factor--if the MRI runs late there's no sense in going if I'll miss them.

I did check with the MRI place to make sure there was no radioactive contrast such as iodine. I didn't think so (the last one I had used gadolinium). I asked this because metformin, which is part of the drug I take, Janumet, for my diabetes, is recommended to be halted when performing radiologic studies with iodinated contrast media because both can impair kidney function and there is an even increased chance of the rare complication to metformin therapy, lactic acidosis. I overheard a group of nurses talking about this one time; it's the only reason I know about it. But I did think I should ask.