A little sad

Obviously, I've been listening to/watching a playlist on YouTube today, and this came up. It always brings tears to my eyes. I hadn't seen this animation before. This song is for my mom It came out the day after her death. It's almost her birth anniversary — she would have been 79 on August 3rd. She passed in 2017.

Two more books

I finished book #6 for the year the other day, which I re-read in honour of the 80th anniversary of the dropping of the atomic bombs, Sadako and the Thousand Cranes by Eleanor Coerr, in one session, Today I decided to look through my Audible collection (I am not currently a member, having disentangled myself from Amazon for the most part for now at least, but I have 80 titles in my library, most of which haven't been listened to yet, so I decided that might be a good use of downtime, and today is the first day I actually had a couple of hours where I wasn't otherwise occupied.

I finished one I'd started called Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?: Big Questions From Tiny Mortals About Death, where mortician Caitlin Doughty answers questions submitted to her by children about death and what happens afterwards. She has a popular YouTube channel, which is very entertaining and informative. I'm happy she has narrated her own book. It's quite delightful, and I learned a lot. So it's #7 for the year. I did revise my goal from 36 to 15. I just don't think I have 36 in me. We'll see. Maybe I'll exceed 15, though, especially since I'll be counting audiobooks. Despite having trouble with audio processing, I sometimes have an easier time getting into an audiobook than a written book these days. I'm sorry to say, it's sad for a librarian to be challenged in reading books. I don't know why. I blame my ADHD.

Awww

Lexington teen with rare aging disease dies

I remember when he was featured on the local news years ago. My heart goes out to his family.

So breathtaking and sombre at the same time

People Are Being Brought to Tears by 13-Year-Old’s Rendition of “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables”

The talented youth, named Cormac Thompson, released a video of himself singing the iconic piece to help raise money for a charity called Acting for Others, which provides financial and emotional support to theater workers in need. In the video, we see the British chorister vocalizing into a microphone, his melodic voice gliding into high notes with ease as a gentle piano accompanies the lyrics. Interspersed in the short film are haunting clips of coffins, solitary figures, and scenes of medical staff, all of which allude to the traumas brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Please think first about securing pets--and skipping fireworks

The Lexington Humane Society shared this sad but important story from the Bowling Green/Warren County Humane Society on Facebook. Please put your pets up during the upcoming holiday. And rather than fireworks, celebrate the Fourth of July by donating to a shelter. Fireworks are over in minutes, but go on all night (and other ones too) with pets assailed by large, scary sounds. And like Moose, many get out and run at the sound, sometimes to be found, often not. This family found Moose, but it was too late.

"Hi friends. As some of you know, my name is Moose. It was around this time last year that my mom and dad went to hang out with their friends one Sunday night. They knew how much I loved playing outside, so they let me and my brothers stay outside in the fenced-in yard while they were gone because we were cool big boys like that. We were having the best time running and playing with each other. My mom would probably croak if she knew how many holes we dug. I was definitely going to blame that on my brothers though. As we were outside, we started to hear these loud booms, and loud noises usually didn’t bother me because I’m a cool pup like that. I thought they would stop, but they didn’t. I kept hearing the booms and saw big flashing lights in the sky. That started to really scare me. That was different than the other loud noises I had heard before. I couldn’t seem to get away from them so I jumped over our fence and took off running. I kept running but when I looked up after the booms had stopped, I didn’t know where I was. I tried for 7 days to find my way back home as my mom and dad and so many kind people looked for me. After so many days of trying to find my way back home, I got so tired and I just couldn’t go any longer. I laid down and went to sleep. When I woke up, I had crossed the rainbow bridge. It was the prettiest place I had ever seen. There were so many other dogs there for me to play with. I can still see my mom and dad and all the people that loved me, just from a different angle now. I really wish those booms didn’t scare me. If they hadn’t, I would still be there playing with my new human brother. He would have loved me, because who didn’t? I just wanted to remind you guys that fireworks (I think that’s what Mom called them) are really cool to you guys, but very scary for us. Please keep that in mind and keep your furry, 4-legged babies inside as much as you can for the next few weeks. When the booms are gone, they can go outside and play as much as they want. If you promise to watch over your furry friends down there, I promise to watch over them from up here. Love and miss you guys.

-Moose

“Most of y’all remember my baby Moose. We had him since he was 5 days old. We bottle-fed him and he immediately became a crucial part of my family. He was the best snuggler and best brother to our other pups. He was so loyal and committed to protecting and loving his family hard, including his newborn human brother. We miss Moose terribly and it still seems so unfair. I still blame myself for thinking it was okay to leave him outside because loud noises didn’t bother him. Never in a million years would I have ever have thought we would lose him so soon. We came home one night and he was gone. We found him a week later in a field, and the only way we could identify him was by his collar which had his name tag and his microchip tag on it. I would give anything to go back and redo that night. I will never leave my dogs outside during this time of year ever again. Please trust me, and keep your sweet babies inside during these weeks and use a leash while taking them out to potty, even if they have never needed one before. I don’t want anyone to go through what we went through. We will never be able to thank you all enough for helping us look for our sweet Moose. We love you guys.”

-Maddie, Moose’s Mom

Thank you for reading this small part of Moose and Maddie's story. They're very special to us and when we asked Maddie to share this story, she said that it was hard to write and share, but if it prevented even one other pet and pet parent from going through this, it will be so worth it. Please share this post, keep your animals inside as much as you can these next few weeks, and take them out on a leash. We'll share some additional tips this afternoon to help you keep your pets safe during this time. ❤

Just checking in

I found this photo of my mom and me from when I was in my 30s.  I'd totally forgotten I had it.  On March 2nd, it will be six years since she died of complications from advanced non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver.  We had a very complicated relationship (aren't most adult child/parent ones that way?) Sometimes I miss her, and sometimes I'm angry at her for things I still struggle with.  It's kind of a toss-up.  But right now, I'm missing her.

This is beautiful

I haven't seen this before. It's lovely. There was an image with it on Facebook, but it wasn't the whole poem. Here it is:

Epitaph

by Merrit Malloy

When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.


Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not on your mind.


You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting
Bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.

Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.

I’ll see you at home
In the earth.

:( Sad today

It's rare that you meet someone who is an honestly good person who adopts you as part of the family even when you are not related by blood. Several months ago I was fortunate to have someone come into my life who did just that. She died today at the age of 94, peacefully in her sleep, and the world seems emptier without her. Requiescet in pace, Mrs Fore. I will miss you terribly. Following so close after my father's death, I can only hope that the old adage of death coming in threes is wrong in this case.

Must check this out

When Breath Becomes Air: A Young Neurosurgeon Examines the Meaning of Life as He Faces His Death

I took a bit of a break from blogging

after losing my mom.  In fact, I took Wednesday to be mostly to myself and sort of process everything.  Once I went back to work on Thursday, I played catch-up over the next couple of days.  I was lucky, they found some way for someone else to do my data entry, in a totally different way than I do, so I had a large stack of papers waiting for me that were already finished. Yay!  But I was still very busy both Thursday and Friday.  The library is full of flowers, as the freesias are still blooming, and the orchid (the other is getting ready to).  I brought some lovely potted, fragrant tulips in from my mom's funeral, and someone donated flowers from another funeral to the hospital and one of sthe recreation therapists brought some lovely pink roses and carnations in a vase to me.

Friday my friends' cat, who has fought kidney disease for years, was doing poorly, with laboured breathing and obviously having trouble.  So the next morning we went to the vet and they had him put down.  He was a great kitty, eighteen years old, and he had a wonderful life with them.  I took one of my friends to work, and then I came on home.  The one who was closest to the cat wanted to be alone for awhile.  I understood.  That's how I felt with my mom.  So it's been a difficult week or so with loss.

Today I brought them a card for sympathy on the loss of a pet.  Brenda came over, and instead of playing the game, really, we just chatted and visited, and we all had a good time.  I think the companionship helped my friend.  One of the dogs kept looking for the missing kitty last night, checking where he used to sleep.  The other cat is definitely missing him, especially at mealtimes, and has been very demonstrative, more so than normal.  So the whole family is grieving, and we've all been very sad.  But my friend did an amazing job with the cat, who was given a year at most to live over three years ago, and his quality of life was very good up to the end.  I will confess that I cried a lot over him, probably on par with what I did with my mom or even a little more.  Animals are my soft spot.  It doesn't mean I loved my mom any less, but she'd had such a hard time, it was a blessing when she died.   And I think the grief for both just snowballed together, and where I didn't feel I could really cry for my mother, at least at the funeral, or break down, when I was by myself I no longer cared, and I grieved for both.

I think what strikes me the most, in both cases, is the absolute void left behind.  I keep thinking of sharing things with my mom, or about how she'd like this or that, and then I realise she's gone.  With the cat, it's little things, like feeding just one scoop of food rather than two during tonight's feeding, or watching Brenda rub the ears of the other cat and realising I would miss cleaning the kitty's ears.  I was the only one he would tolerate to do it, even years ago when he really disliked me (I once chased him with a broom trying to corral him for the vet, and he had a long memory, but the last few years he finally warmed up to me and was very loving).

Anyway, I'm home now.  A should call for a ride from work in about 35 minutes.  I'm not used to the time change yet.  I was actually up during it last night.  I'm still having some trouble sleeping in the middle of the night.  I'm listening to the Bastille station on Pandora (right now I'm listening to 'Holes' by Passenger).  I've spent the last day or two applying for jobs for a friend; I'm not going to do any more of that today.  But I got several in for him the last day or two.  And I have some to apply for myself, as well, especially needing to do cover letters.  I hate cover letters.  But I recognise their importance, and one day I will get a job due to a great and polished cover letter.  In the meantime, I keep practicing. :)

Okay, I think I'll sign off and get some things done before it's time to get A and then on to bed.  I have 19 days left before my last day at work; 15 workdays, actually.  It'll be a very busy week coming up.  Good night.

Okay, I plan to be cremated

so this just will not be possible, BUT...it's very tempting. Hee hee. True story: Years ago my great-grandfather, who'd been a tobacco auctioneer, died. My father, an engineer, really wanted to set up an electric eye at the graveside and have a recording of my great-grandfather auctioneering play if someone tripped it, scaring them half to death. I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

A look years of life lost around the world

Cell phones can be quite useful

I use my 'computer phone/handheld computer', as YKWIA puts it, quite a bit, although I never text in the car, and generally only answer the phone when I can pull over, because I know I'm not dexterous enough to drive and answer the thing at the same time, much less keep my attention on the road while talking on it.

That said...

Friday, two things happened that made me shake my head at just how attached people are getting to their cell phones. Oh, those of us with them (and I have two friends who do not have cell phones, smart or otherwise), experience a pang of anxiety (or more) if they're left at home. But then there are the following two cases:

1. I'm leaving my apartment complex for work on Friday morning. I see a young girl, probably a high school student with book bag, texting while walking, her earbuds in her ears, totally oblivious to the her surroundings. I stop, seeing her in time, but she doesn't see me, and proceeds to walk in front of my car across the driveway. Then, halfway in front of my car, she finally looks up, realises she is in front of my car, and rather than crossing on ahead, turns perpendicularly and crosses the road right in front of me, rather than getting out of the way first, still looking down at her phone, without looking either way before crossing the street. That child is likely likely going to die at some point with behaviour like that. I was alert and watching out for her. A lot of people wouldn't be. I am living proof that you can get injured by a car while doing all the right things--crossing with the crosswalk, being alert, not listening to music, not on a cell phone. She is just asking for trouble. YKWIA said he'd have sped up and hit her just because of her stupidity. While I certainly disagree with doing that, folks, there is this thing called evolution. Do not be the person who gets on the Darwin Awards list. And then there is this...
2. Man killed by roller coaster was looking for lost wallet, cell phone, mother says [He jumped over a fence into a restricted area, and was struck by the roller coaster car.] A cell phone is no reason to die. Yes, a wallet is important. Yes, I can see wanting a cell phone back--although if you lost it at 57 mph, I'm not sure it would have survived. But...why not just report the loss to the ride operators and see if they can find it either by shutting down the ride for a few minutes, or after close? I'd rather be patient, and let them send it to me if they couldn't retrieve it on the spot, than risk death. I just don't understand.

These are our modern cautionary tales, I suppose. But the upshot is, please, a cell phone isn't worth dying over. Be careful out there, and don't let it take over your life to the point of taking it.

One last thing

Thinking of my grandmother, who died just a little less than a year ago--August 10th will be the anniversary of her death. I miss her.



Peace. Good night.

One last post tonight

This song always comforts me when death is at the forefront of my mind. So I'm dedicating it to Teressa and her family.

Weird coincidence, something I don't normally believe in, but which seems to be the case

My Page-a-Day calendar that suggests books to read each day had PD James' Death Comes to Pemberley for November 27th. That is the same day that the author of The Children of Men and a host of murder mysteries died at the age of 94.

Speaking of scary viruses, hopefully parents out there are taking note and teaching kids the basics of infection control (and especially handwashing)

After Death of New Jersey Boy From Enterovirus 68, Worry Grows Among Parents

Eli Waller’s parents thought it best to keep their 4-year-old son home from school, worried that he might have pink eye and could infect other children.

But they could not have suspected that their son was harboring a much more troubling virus, one that has been spreading across the country with unexpected virulence and is being investigated as a possible cause of severe respiratory illness and other complications.

When Eli went to bed on Sept. 24 in his family’s home in Hamilton Township, N.J., he seemed healthy. By morning, he was dead.

“He was asymptomatic and fine, and the next morning he had passed,” said Jeffrey Plunkett, the township’s health officer. “The onset was very rapid and very sudden.”

Another legend gone

Lauren Bacall has died at the age of 89, apparently from a stroke.

Lauren Bacall, Sultry Movie Star, Dies at 89

Lauren Bacall, the actress whose provocative glamour elevated her to stardom in Hollywood’s golden age and whose lasting mystique put her on a plateau in American culture that few stars reach, died on Tuesday in New York. She was 89.

Her death was confirmed by her son Stephen Bogart. “Her life speaks for itself,” Mr. Bogart said. “She lived a wonderful life, a magical life.”

With an insinuating pose and a seductive, throaty voice — her simplest remark sounded like a jungle mating call, one critic said — Ms. Bacall shot to fame in 1944 with her first movie, Howard Hawks’s adaptation of the Ernest Hemingway novel “To Have and Have Not,” playing opposite Humphrey Bogart, who became her lover on the set and later her husband.

From a playlist I created called 'Loss'

Last night it was poetry. Tonight it's music. I should probably try to sleep now. Good night.

So sad to hear of this

Comic virtuoso Robin Williams dead at 63 from apparent suicide

Robin Williams, the versatile actor whose madcap comic style made him one of television and film's biggest stars, was found dead on Monday from an apparent suicide at his home in Northern California. He was 63.

Robin Williams, an Improvisational Genius, Forever Present in the Moment

Part of the shock of his death on Monday came from the fact that he had been on — ubiquitous, self-reinventing, insistently present — for so long. On Twitter, mourners dated themselves with memories of the first time they had noticed him. For some it was the movie “Aladdin.” For others “Dead Poets Society” or “Mrs. Doubtfire.” I go back even further, to the “Mork and Mindy” television show and an album called “Reality — What a Concept” that blew my eighth-grade mind.

Robin Williams, Oscar-Winning Actor, Dies at 63 in Suspected Suicide

Mr. Williams’s publicist, Mara Buxbaum, said in a statement that Mr. Williams “has been battling severe depression.”

His wife, Susan Schneider, said in a statement, “This morning, I lost my husband and my best friend, while the world lost one of its most beloved artists and beautiful human beings.” She added: “As he is remembered, it is our hope the focus will not be on Robin’s death, but on the countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions.”

Depression is a serious disease. It's not something you 'snap out of' or can be 'cheered up' from. It is debilitating, devastating, and at times, deadly. I am so sorry the world has apparently lost such a funny and talented man due to this disease. My thoughts are with his family at this time. Robin Williams was so gifted that he could leave you in stitches yet he also played unforgettable dramatic parts as well. Few actors, particularly those who are known as stand-up comedians, make that transition to drama well. He did. And he seemed to have a real, genuine warmth to him. He will be sorely missed, as evidenced by the outpouring of statements about his passing. So sad.