A song for my ex-husband

Fifteen years ago and a bit we married. Even though my instincts were to run like hell, I pushed for it because frankly I felt entitled after everything I'd been through. I walked out six months later with the realisation that nothing would change unless I made it. Of all the mistakes I have ever made, getting married to him was the Big One, the one I wish I could have taken back. The scars of that relationship are still there, but for the most part they're at least scars and no longer open wounds.

Still, every time I hear Alice Peacock's 'Taught Me Well', I think of him and our life together. And yes, every day I thank my lucky stars that we are no longer together.

So, with apologies to Alice Peacock since I had to transcribe the lyrics myself (couldn't find them online) from listening and might have made a mistake...here it is. If anyone notices one, please let me know.

So, this is for you. I know you sometimes read this blog. I hope you do read this one, because it sums up my feelings for you after all this time.

You hate to be ignored
Or maybe you're just bored
So I open up my mail and there's a note from you
You say you're checking in, to see how I have been
Yeah, I'm doing so much better if you'd like to know the truth

You taught me well, you were my teacher and I thank you for the hell
you put me through--I'm very grateful
Because I finally really learned what's important in my life
And I thank my lucky stars every day I'm not your wife

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You're selfishly absorbed, you're childish and a boor
And I used to hold the anger in my stomach like a fist
But in time it was quite clear
Only I was suffering here
And having gratitude for you was the way out of this

You taught me well, you were my teacher and I thank you for the hell
you put me through--I'm very grateful
Because I finally really learned what was important in my life
And I thank my lucky stars every day I'm not your wife

You taught me well, life is for living
It's not about taking, it's all about giving
You taught me well, and sometimes what we want is staring us right in the face
And the power of forgiveness, the power of grace
Of grace

You taught me well, you were my teacher and I thank you for the hell
you put me through--I'm very grateful
Because I finally really learned what was important in my life
And I thank my lucky stars every day I'm not your wife

You taught me well, you were my teacher and I thank you for the hell
you put me through--I'm very grateful
Because I finally really learned what was important in my life
And I thank my lucky stars every day I'm not your wife

You taught me well, you taught me well, yeah
You taught me well, you taught me well
You taught me well, you taught me well, yeah
You taught me well, you taught me well
Ooooooo

No matter how screwed up my life can sometimes be, mainly because of my own mistakes, at least I'm out of that situation. Now if I could just shed the trust issues left from that relationship and from that of my father, life would be pretty sweet, because things like money--although it does bring stability--just aren't as important as how you live your life (something I learned from my other teacher and mentor, before he got frustrated with my learning curve).