Sorry, I didn't mean to fall off the face of the planet...

Last week was a little busy, and hard.  So on Tuesday night, I had my talk with the behavioural therapist through the AbleTo programme my insurance is partnered with.  I spoke to her about things about my childhood and my family I haven't told more than a handful of people, and it was very intense.  It's actually a programme with modules for helping depression, but she asked a couple of questions and I guess I opened up. A lot. She called my case complex, but apparently, it was in line with the module to explore some past issues that were causing problems today.

The next day I could not get out of bed. I felt bad. My stomach hurt really bad, and I think that was a result of going up on my Ozempic because the side effects always hit about two days after I take the injection I got it on Monday and took it that night. But I just couldn't drag myself out, and I felt real blah and off.  My friend, who used to work in psychiatric care, said that often you can get a 'therapy hangover', and it's the best description I can find for it. I wound up calling in to work. I've never taken a 'mental health day', but I just couldn't function. I spoke with my boss later and she understood.

On Thursday, I had the five appointments plus errands to do.  The telehealth with my psychiatrist went well because, despite Wednesday's issues, my depression is much better. We have another appointment in three months. I also had my gel injections in my knees, and those went well.  At midday, I had the PT evaluation.  The therapist thinks that part of the issue is benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is a problem in the inner ear. It is the most common cause of vertigo, which is a false sensation of spinning or movement. It comes from calcium crystals that build up in the inner ear and get into the wrong area of that. It can be treated with a certain manoeuvre that resets where they are so it can be absorbed. This works in most cases. I had a slightly postive test, so he did the exercise for me and set up and appointment to follow up tomorrow at 7:30 am. A greater part may be vestibular-ocular reflex (VOR). It is a reflex that helps stabilise the visual field during head movements. It occurs in response to head movement and leads to the eyes moving in the opposite direction to maintain a steady gaze. That was more positive. He doesn't think they explain the whole problem, though, and I told him I have a neurology appointment on Tuesday for a workup as well. He'll also see me Friday after the neurologist gets a chance to do his thing.

I dragged a friend to that appointment and he read in the car, because then he had a dental appointment I was taking him to and we weren't sure there'd be time for me to come and get him otherwise.  I got out earlier than they expected, so we went on and I read while he had that appointment.  Then we got some Cajun food for an early dinner. At 7 pm I had a call with the behavioural coach from the AbleTo people and that went well.

Friday I went back to work and it was Sabbath.  Saturday was restful. I did a couple of errands and the game notes, and that was about it. I got the notes done by 12:30 pm, which is a record.  Also yesterday evening we went out with friends to Joe Bologna's, an Italian restaurant here. They're celebrating 50 years in business.  They're in a beautiful building with stained glass...it used to be a synagogue years ago.

We were celebrating one friend's birthday and my upcoming one as well. The birthday kids got free desserts. It was really fun, and it was the most social interaction I've done outside of work in a long time.

In the middle of the night, my roommate and I spent two hours talking about various things, a really great conversation.

As a result, I got up a little late, started my chores late.  Our friend we game with called right before she'd normally left. Her son, who lives with her, was exposed to Covid, so they were staying home just to be sure everything was okay. She didn't want to take the chance, and we appreciate it. So I have some more time to finish my chores (I'm taking a longish break right now).

So as you can see, it was pretty busy last week.  Today was also a day I started a weight loss programme that's aimed at improving healthy habits, presented in partnership with my pharmacy benefit with another application-based system.  They sent me a scale and I'm weighing daily. My goal is to lose 20 lbs in 16 weeks.

Okay, I need to get back to my chores. I'll try to write more regularly.  Sorry about that.

Had a productive day today

Work went well. I got all the things I needed finished. After work, I did the following once I got home:

1. Started some bread in the bread maker.
2. Went to the store for shallots, leeks, and half and half.
3. Unloaded the dishwasher.
4. Washed the dirty dishes by hand, as we're out of Cascade pods.
5. Fed the animals and let the dogs out and back in.
6. Put my laundry away.
7. Spent some time with a friend who's having a really rough day.
8. Emptied my travel sharps container and put the pen needles in a regular one. I use a large prescription medicine bottle as a sharps container when I'm away from home, but I have to empty it every other day or so into one of those red ones that are larger.
9. Got out some more insulin from the refrigerator to take in my bag.
10. Ate a peanut butter and honey sandwich (we're out of spreadable fruit).
11. Took the bread out to cool, then put it away once it did so.
12. Listened to some music.
13. Dried the dishes that were on a mat by the coffee maker so they'd be out of the way for tomorrow.
14. Cuddled with the cat.

Now I'm listening to more music before bed--Of Monsters and Men. The cat is on my belly, purring. The plan is to go to bed early. I need to do that before midnight, anyway, as I've had trouble getting enough sleep lately and I've been dragging in the morning as a result. I have a dental cleaning appointment tomorrow, so hopefully that goes well. Then Friday I have an early-morning appointment with my psychiatrist.

My fifty-first birthday is Monday. I don't know why, but it's bothering me more than the last one, which was the big 5-0. I guess with closing the library and the lay off, etc., last year, I was just too busy and distracted to freak out. :)

Okay, I'm going to bed. Good night!

Me on my 50th birthday

So my birthday started out a little rough, but it got better. With all that's been going on, I guess a little lability was to be expected. But I finally got out and went to a friend's house, and we watched the movie Winter's Tale, which was good, and now I'm home, listening to music. I feel better than this morning, a whole lot better.

Happy birthday

To the one person who is a constant force and presence in my life.  I love you,  YKWIA.

By the way

So the first part of my birthday was a little like herding cats,  but it all turned out well in the end,  and I had some amazing Indian food at Masala with dessert at Baskin-Robbins thanks to some friends.  Then I came home and took some time to relax and spent some time reading birthday wishes.  So glad to have people in my life who love me.

Year 50

Yesterday was my 49th birthday, meaning I am now in the fiftieth year of my life.  It makes you think about where you are and where you're going.  I will have a lot of uncertainty in my life as the year progresses; this time next year I'll be 50, will have been at my job for 20 years,  and will be laid off from both positions when the hospital moves to the new medical centre and an ambulatory care model,  with no room or plan for a library. This makes me sad,  although at least was given some warning. Not everyone is so lucky.  My hope is to find a position that can use my skills,  flexibility,  and willingness to work as a team player to their fullest.  (And which has health insurance.) :) Wish me luck.

Having eggs and peanut butter bread for dinner

So far after work I have taken a nap, boiled a dozen eggs for dinner and breakfast over the next few days, and rearranged the cabinets of my kitchen for ease of use (baking stuff together, pasta and rice, tea and other beverages, that sort of thing). I made room for food when I get paid. I discovered a pretty pasta in tins and put it in a clear bottle for decoration, but sealed it so it would be fresh. A lot of the stuff is pretty old, actually, but much of it doesn't really go bad easily. I was looking for vital wheat gluten because I'm out of my white bread flour and the wheat usually takes gluten to get big and fluffy. Alas, there was none. I did find a recipe online to try that has gluten as an optional ingredient. So I'll try to bake some more bread tonight before going to bed. I boiled the eggs using the cold method, and they're hard to peel. I'll use the hot method next time; that is supposed to work better.

I just called my mom and wished her a happy birthday. I sent her a card last week. I haven't seen her since she was ill earlier in the year, but we talked for awhile.

The sun is going down. The cicadas are very loud outside. My burst of energy is gone. I think I'll set the bread machine up, wipe down the counters and kitchen island, and then go do something relaxing soon. Good night.

I shouldn't be eating naan this late at night

but it is very nummy, and I haven't had much bread of late, other than the stuff that's 88 cents at the grocery, for peanut butter sandwiches. But I did have some frozen naan, and so I thawed it and I'm having some of it. I've been over at my friends' helping with a project, and I was getting a bit peckish.

Today I made an appointment with an allergist who was recommended by the otolaryngologist, and I have to go off my Claritin (which doesn't seem to be doing enough anymore) for five days and then next week we'll test my allergies. I had it done about fifteen years ago, but they said it had been enough time that I should do so again. I already know they'll find I'm allergic to practically everything, although maybe there's been some improvement since I did take allergy shots for about three years. Among other things, I am allergic to horses and most grasses, including bluegrass. Why do I live in Kentucky again? It is allergy central, after all. If I were a doctor in this area, allergy and immunology would be the way to go, I tell you. :)

Okay, I'm going to keep things short tonight, as I'm going to attempt to get up early so I can make a deposit at the bank ATM (I thought it best not to do so late at night) and then head into work early. I left early today because it's the local school spring break, so we had a low census day today. Thursday, my birthday, is as well, so I'm going to take off then. I haven't decided what to do yet, but the plan is to have some fun, even if it just means opening the windows and watching DVDs all day. It's supposed to be warm, about 72 degrees, that day. Or I may take some free passes I have and go see a movie, maybe Home. We'll see. Good night.

I'm sorry I didn't blog last night

I was so terribly tired by the time I'd gotten home. Remember, I didn't sleep hardly at all on Friday night, and Saturday night, while I slept okay, didn't quite get me caught up. I did laundry and helped get YKWIA up and watched a couple of 'Hart of Dixie' episodes while he was eating breakfast and getting some coffee in him. YKWIA had made vegetarian cholent in the crockpot overnight, but there was still the balance of dinner to make--so afterwards I helped with the preparations for dinner, so I did a lot of vegetable chopping, mixing of kugel makings with my hands (eggs, oil, potatoes, onions, all mushed together), rolling matzo ball dough, and tossing veggies. We made matzo ball soup (he added some spices that made it very tasty), the kugel, and a nice salad. After dinner, which was excellent, YKWIA and I took a break and watched 'iZombie', which premiered last week. It was quite enjoyable. Then we made two 'derby' pies, with walnuts and chocolate chips (a little different from the normal pecans). Those were so they could take one to a meeting they're going to tonight, but I did get a piece. And in fact I had cholent, kugel, and pie to take for lunch today. So that was nice. It was a very nice 'early' birthday celebration. :)

I've run several errands today, eaten dinner, and I really need to do some stuff around here, so I should go. I'll see about writing later, but if not, good night.

Well, I made a (somewhat) horrible mistake

I forgot to pay my electric bill. So last night I came home to a dark, cold house, and had to use one of those battery-powered push-on/push-off lights to find my around. I couldn't sleep much at all, because I didn't have my CPAP. In fact, in the six hours I was in bed, I probably slept about an hour and a half.

At 5:15 I finally gave up, got up, washed my face, dressed, and headed out to McDonald's, where I could get breakfast, charge my phone, and get free Wi-Fi. So I thought I'd spend some time on the Internet before they got busy. My phone was at 10% when I came in, and on ultra-power-saving mode. Now it's at 64%, so I'm feeling a little better about having a connexion to others if needed. Funny how we've gotten so dependent on cell phones.

Okay, I'm going to check the news. I don't have much juice in my laptop and I can't get the plug into the outlet here for some reason, so I can't charge it. But I'll try to make the most of it. Boy, though, I'm sleepy. I'm supposed to celebrate my birthday/spring with friends, one of whom is going to make Jewish-food goodness, like kugel and matzo ball soup. [It's a little early--my birthday is in early April, but my friend associates it with the vernal equinox, and I was at work yesterday, so we're celebrating today.] I'm hoping I can stay awake with so little sleep. And I haven't taken a shower, because it would be cold, and so I look like crap. But hey, it's my own fault. And yes, I used my phone's hotspot and the laptop last night to go ahead and pay the bill, so it'll be on sometime before 11 pm tonight. Here's hoping it's sooner.

Hope you're having a somewhat better weekend so far.

I got some good news today

while at my endocrinology appointment. In July, my HbA1c (the blood test that determines how your blood sugar has been running averaged over a three-month period) was 10.0, but the one I took today was only 7.6, much better and it means my estimated blood glucose came down quite a bit. She told me to keep doing what I'm doing. I also talked to her about changing my Novolog to Humalog because my insurance isn't going to cover the former next year.

Sorry I didn't write last night. I was out celebrating a friend's birthday. We were born the same year, so he caught up to me in age. We went to Alfalfa restaurant downtown. I had falafel, salad, and red beans and rice. Afterwards we went back to their house for birthday cake. Then I went home and went straight to bed, since my appointment was so early this morning (8 am). As it was, I was about 10 minutes late, because I live about as far away from them as you can in Lexington, and I'm not used to cross-town traffic that early in the day. But it all worked out.

Tonight the plan is to spend the evening inside at home. Lexington, along with several other central Kentucky towns, moved their trick-or-treating (which is almost unheard of here) because we're supposed to get some pretty ugly weather this evening.

Okay, I think I'm going to snuggle up with my copy of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Paranormal for a bit, maybe play some Plants vs. Zombies, and watch 'Big Bang Theory' later tonight. Oh, that reminds me:

Why I do not plan to download the new Plants vs. Zombies 2, even though I love the original:
1. It is huge. Over 160 MB of space. I have 16 GB on my phone, but that's a lot for one game.
2. Instead of being a game you just buy outright, it a 'freemium' product with 'in-app purchasing'. Basically, you can play to a point but if you really want to play it seriously, you have to pay for items that will help you win, so you pay more in the long run.
3. I can't. On the first day it was available for Android OS, I actually had a moment where I hit the button to download and it simply couldn't do it, even over wi-fi.

What can I aay, I just don't think it's worth it. Maybe if any of that changes, I'll reconsider, but not right now.

I just realised a little while ago

when I was at Rite Aid that although I made a friend's birthday very pleasing and nice, I forgot to get him a card [I sometimes forget the social conventions.] I know actions are more important than expressing sentiments by pre-made and highly marketed birthday cards, of course. I did feel a little bad, however, for forgetting. But considering we are going to continue the celebration with Indian food Saturday, I think there's still a chance a card might be in his future. :)

115

That was my blood sugar reading right before lunch. Really. Looks like the new medicine is working pretty well. And I've been under 200 all day. I've also lost five pounds since Thursday. I know it's the general post-period water loss, but still....the only bad thing so far is that I pretty much have to go pee every time I finish drinking anything. So I'm trying to drink a good bit of liquid, especially water, throughout the day so I don't go into dehydration or for that matter, lactic acidosis, which is a rare side effect of the metformin the endocrinologist put me one.

Today I did four loads of laundry (including bedding) [finally!] over at my friends' house. I also went to the store with one of them on the grocery run and watched those last two episodes of season 2 of 'H2O: Just Add Water', which included a showdown between the mad mermaid and the others with my other friend. Then we worked on one of my characters for the game. I came home and dropped everything near the front door and just went on to bed, I was so tired. But I'm up now. Today was also my mom's birthday, so I sent her an e-card (wasn't with it enough to get a real one this year, for which I feel a bit guilty). Anyway, I did wish her a great birthday before the day was out, at least. Good thing I woke up when I did; there wasn't much time.

Okay, I've eaten a little (yes, I know it's late, but I haven't actually had dinner). I have some things to do before tomorrow. Good night.

Up kind of late...

tweaking and updating the laptop some more. The Windows updates were fairly straightforward; it's the HP ones that are taking forever. There were also some for Office, for my mouse program, and then there was the fact that it was time to take Norton off the thing because the trial had ended, I had replaced it with another I liked better, and it kept popping up saying there was a conflict and asking me to remove the other program. In other words, it wasn't doing anything anymore to protect my computer, just annoying me for choosing a rival. So off it went. I would have told them that (they kept trying to get me to buy a subscription to their product every step of the uninstall, progressively going down in price, then asking me to fill out a survey as to why) but I wasn't actually connected at that point and couldn't go online due to a driver installation going on. So I'll say it here. They basically annoyed me into removing the program.

Brandon and his wife are back safe from their post-vow renewal trip to the beach, for which I'm thankful. I spent awhile speaking to YKWIA on the phone right after I got Brandon's text. We had a long talk, which was enjoyable.

I'll probably regret going to bed late tomorrow, but I want to finish up these updates. Tomorrow I'm going to help YKWIA with the migration from Insight (our former cable company) to Time Warner (our new one) in terms of computer stuff. I'll have to do that as well, so I might as well figure out what to do. So tomorrow will be quite a bit of computer fun. :)

One last thing, as I know she sometimes reads my blog: Happy birthday to my aunt, Sharon Karnes! She and my uncle are library folks, too. Hope it's a great one!

I think I'm getting closer to the end of the installations....Good night.

Speaking of the time...

It's just a few minutes past midnight, and that means it is now May 29th. Please indulge me while I take this opportunity to wish my grandmother a wonderful 89th birthday. :)

It was a rather odd birthday

Mostly running around for people, but I did enjoy a nice dinner at Texas Roadhouse (including indulging myself with a brownie). I didn't eat at all until 2 pm and then stuffed myself to my eyeballs, which probably isn't good given my desire to lose weight, but it was a special occasion, after all. I also watched some 'Waiting for God' with YKWIA and after all the errands and everything were done, I came home and napped for a couple of hours. My mom called me and we talked for quite some time. My phone's been vibrating all day with Facebook good wishes. So, it was a good day. I didn't go to a movie or do something particularly grand, but I got to talk to my friends and family, the weather was much nicer than they expected a few days ago, and it was nice to be off. I'm still rather tired. I was thinking of watching something on the telly but I think I may just listen to some music and have a quiet rest of the night. I may or may not post any more tonight, but in case not, have a wonderful night.

Happy, happy, joy, joy

It was nice being off today. I learned how to use child locks in my car and ate lunch at O'Charley's with Brandon and kids to celebrate our birthdays jointly (his was yesterday; mine is tomorrow, so we met in the middle). I generally seem more comfortable with children [or at least that was his observation]. Later I took another friend to an appointment and picked up his husband from work, trapped that friend in the back seat due to the child locks (hee hee). That was quite fun. Today I also got a package from Amazon with a fan for work, a pocket watch, and a DVD collection of 'Waiting for God', which I then watched some with YKWIA, and then helped him do some things and looked up some stuff online for him, and finally got home about 10ish. It's been a fairly relaxing, enjoyable day, spent with friends. I'm already getting birthday wishes from Facebook as well. :)

Tomorrow I'm taking someone to a doctor's appointment with our family doctor, who runs terribly behind and so that will take most of the day, which is a bit unfortunate, but really it is necessary, and I'll need to pay my rent and do some errands. I really need to do laundry, as well, but I am determined to do something fun on my birthday, and after all, I took it off from work to enjoy some time away from the grind. So we'll see. Anyway, I think I'm going to try the fan out and see how it works. I'll have to unplug the camera from the USB to attach it as I've been fiddling with photos--Brandon took this picture of me whilst we were at the restaurant:



Told you I wag getting huge. On the other hand, I didn't look too bad today. I may need to think about getting a hair cut again, though--I look a bit ragged and shaggy. Oh, well, I've certainly looked worse. And I suppose it's not too bad for someone who will turn 46 in about 9 hours. :)

I didn't realise that it had been so long

Since I updated here. It's been a very long and busy weekend, and I am very tired. I just want to go on to bed now. I will try to post tomorrow after I get some rest. Hope your weekend was great. Lastly, happy birthday to my cousin Jan. I don't know if she reads this blog, but just in case, happy 50th.

I never actually fell asleep

but I almost dozed a moment or two. It wasn't the pain. I think it was just being a little revved up from going out. Plus every now and then I got an e-mail and the sound it makes on my phone is the same as for a text message. If I'd turned the phone down, I might have missed a call. So, I kept waking up with each e-mail, mostly political, 'vote for us' stuff. Since I've already voted, it's doing no good for them, and I'm not sending in money that I don't have within 10 days of an election. I'm irritated with all the e-mails I've received from the party and the campaigns--and yes, I'm talking about the Democrats, but I'm sure the Republicans are just as bad. They were averaging about five-seven a day for awhile, and I was also receiving some from some Florida Congressman whom I've never heard of and can't vote for because I live in an entirely different state. Also, 'come knock on doors' in Ohio seems kind of pushy since I'm not in Ohio. Well, you get the idea.

Regardless of all that, I did actually get some rest, and feel somewhat rejuvenated. I surfaced for food (another half portion of tortilla chips with black bean dip, as well as some sugar-free shortbread cookies). It looks positively dark and icky outside. My computer says it's 38 degrees. Winter really is just around the corner. We've been spoiled by relatively fine weather, I suppose. But I won't complain, because this is what we're getting of Hurricane Sandy, and millions of others are affected horribly. I am so glad that I do not live on the coast. With my mobility down, I would be at a higher risk for problems in the centre of a major disaster like that. I only today got some keys made for Brandon and YKWIA so if I fall or otherwise need help, I can call and they can get into my apartment.

I also talked with A earlier on the phone. He thanked me for his gift (a CD of the Zombies from the 1960s) and he's off for a few days' vacation so he may come visit me soon. When I was over earlier, he asked me when a good day would be and it amused Brandon terribly that I had to think because of course, with the exception of an appointment coming up, I'm home. I don't really have a full calendar these days. :)

Okay, I think I'll check on the news and then head to the bedroom for some reading. I had to charge up the Kindle. I hadn't been able to read in the dim light very well, so I had let its battery run down. I also have some books out from the library I'd like to go through.

I'm tired

Brandon took me out today for some errands and to go to the store. I mostly stayed in the car, but at Kroger I went around on one of those motorised buggies. We found a way for him to help me up and down the stairs that does not involve me climbing on all fours (it was raining), although I'm not quite sure how good it is for his back.

One of the things I did was deliver a birthday present to my friend A, who catches up with me in age today. I stayed in the car and he came out and talked for a bit, although we kept it short because it's pretty cold outside. I had not seen him in over two weeks so it was nice to.

After getting back, Brandon changed the light bulbs, put a lamp together for me for the bedroom so I can read properly, fixed my bed clothes, and took out the trash. His son lit the way with his Transformers action figure with a little red flashlight on it. :)

I think it's time for a nap. Then maybe I can try out the new lamp and read. It is a floor lamp with one light going up and two small side lamps for reading. :) I just hope I can reach the switches okay. It's another gloomy day (with a mix of rain and maybe a bit of snow) and I'm ready for some sunshine, although I'm not sure when that might happen.