Yesterday I went home and visited my family in Danville. My aunt Sharon Sue and uncle Terry came up from Georgia, and my uncle Ed (or as we still call him, Eddie) and aunt Sharon Ann came up from Texas [yes, my mom's sister's name is Sharon; her brother married a woman named Sharon--hence the good thing about the Southern use of middle names]. My mom and John were off, too, so we all had lunch and dinner at my grandmother's house and spent the day. The guys were doing a lot of yard work for my grandmother, so I got to talk to them intermittently. The yard looks great--they came and pruned trees, got a mower going, wrestled with a weedeater (finally my mom and John went and got theirs, and John did that part), all that. My grandmother is 80 and not able to do much in the yard. She has someone come once a week to mow but this was the more intense yard work. I didn't realise it, but since my uncle retired from TWA he's built up a mowing service, mostly with industrial clients. He really enjoys it, from what I can tell. He and Dwana's husband Eric should get together.
It's interesting to see people you're related to and some of the similarities. Growing up, I learned to respond to the name Sharon because I got called it often; Sharon Sue and I were both talkative, smart girls with long hair and personality wise I think we're probably closest. Even though we see each other maybe every three years at most and I haven't been around her for any length of time since I was really little, Sharon know intuitively what's bothering me, what's going on. I had to ask my mom for money to pay my rent and get caught up financially, and I tried to pick a time to talk to her when we weren't all together. It's embarrassing for me, but it's a strain for her, not just me but with John's kids, too. Being my mom, she came through, and now that I'm finally in the positives (the first time since my unemployment ended in March, sad to say), I'm doing everything I can to make sure I don't need to ask her for any more any time soon. Sharon picked up on what was going on immediately; my mom was upset but trying not to let it show, and Sharon knows her pretty well. When Sharon Ann asked what was going on, my aunt summed it up really well, 'Phyllis and Lisa are putting their heads together and trying to keep a roof over Lisa's head'.
I learned, too, that I'm not the only one in the family dealing with a bad oeconomy; my cousin David, who had been working in the financial field and just got his MBA, was given the choice of a reorganising demotion or severance package; he took the latter, since it was time to move on, anyway. He has three kids, a wife, and a house--a lot more responsibilities than I do. He's very financially savvy, though, so he's probably got more in terms of resources to draw upon. Hopefully he'll be able to find something soon.
I sometimes envy how close Eddie's family live to one another. Jan and David have families in San Antonio; Eddie and Sharon live nearby. Jan is the only other girl of the five of us cousins, a little older than me. When we were kids, I used to be terribly jealous of her--she's beautiful, outgoing...but I think we actually have a lot in common. David and I are just a few months apart, and we looked a lot alike as kids. I have always adored him and felt closest to him, I guess because of our ages. In terms of geography, of course, I have my mom and grandmother; Sharon and Terry's kids are in totally different states now. They both seem to be doing well, too...Craig--the first baby I ever held--just had a second child a few months ago, a son. He lives in New Jersey. Steve's the only other single one of the five of us, busy as an engineer in Mississipi.
On the other hand, of the five, I was the one who came to Kentucky and lived with my grandparents on and off. My grandfather was more a father to me than my own. (So is John, and I'm so very thankful for those positive male influences). I'm glad I had a chance to get to know my grandparents and great-grandparents in Kentucky so well. Growing up in the military, we were so cut off from long-term relationships outside our own household--and in my case we were fractured inside, too, each living in our own world for the most part, occasionally my mother and I would connect; or my father and my mother, although almost never would my father and I do so--he just didn't know how to deal with a child and had his own problems.
I think overall, we all came out okay. No one's gone to jail or become addicts or had babies in their teens or any of the other supposed 'pitfalls' that create family gossip, at least as far as I know. I'm sure we all have our own problems--and I've got a pretty big chunk, although the more experience I get, the more I feel nice and sane compared to the people out there who don't realise they're crazy. :) So maybe, despite everything, I came out okay, too. Mostly, anyway--and I'm working on the rest.
I gave my aunts my new address and e-mail--and the address for this website--we're going to try to keep in touch better. My grandmother is the only one who doesn't have a computer and access to e-mail, and my mom can pass anything to her...assuming she breaks away from Spider Solitaire long enough to read her e-mail--she and I are a lot alike, too. Sharon Ann's mom, who's about 86, does have e-mail. I find that just great. I think a lot of older people would feel less isolated if they would learn how to use the computer.
Well, that's all for now, I'd better get ready for work.
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