Haven't done this in awhile

From Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, Book II, number III.

Do soul, do; abuse and contemn thyself; yet a while and the time for thee to respect thyself will be at an end. Every man's happiness depends from himself, but behold thy life is almost at an end while affording thyself no respect, thou dost make thy happiness to consist in the souls, and conceits, of others.

In other words, you grant the power to external validation, not to the internal, which is most important. Your opinion of yourself, your self-esteem, is more important than the thoughts and opinions of others. I have such a hard time with this. Recently I had a review where someone who barely knew me made some terribly incorrect assumptions about my motivation and ability to do my work, which was very disheartening, and it made me feel very bad about myself. Or, rather, it was the trigger, but I made myself feel bad. I felt useless like I'd wasted 27 years of investment in my workplace for nothing.

But we have power over that and only that. No one has the right to really expect their opinion to make or shape you, and more importantly, you should never give control of your life over to someone else, because no one can truly know you as you know yourself, at least if you've tried to gain some insight into your life. Right?

:)

It took about 20 minutes for me to do the same setup I did for my friend in the migration from Insight to Time Warner Cable tonight--and that was only because I didn't receive an e-mail with the starting link and had to look it up on the website. Granted, I learned most of what I needed the other night through the techs and trial and error (a lot of trial and error), but it was ever so much easier. I hope my post from the other day that lists my discoveries of some of the pitfalls and solutions helps some of those who experience difficulty.

Okay, time for that nap!

Up late working on a computer, this time for someone else

Note to any of you making the switch from Insight to Time Warner Cable e-mail:

1. Do not choose a password over 12 characters even though it gives you that option, because it won't let you change it later and you'll wind up on the phone with tech support for a long while.
2. The POP and SMTP server names are both mail.twc.com--the techs don't know this, because the twc.com thing is so new.
3. If using Outlook, you have to put your entire e-mail address in as a username in order to receive incoming mail.

It took me five hours and three techs from phone support (including one very helpful one who was a level 3, whatever that means) to figure all this out. Let me save you time. My brain has turned to mush, I've had to have two backrubs, and I am now treating myself to Taco Bell and will soon curl up in a ball and shut out the world.

I may lose my connexion soon

for just a few days, but I can blog (albeit somewhat clumsily) on my phone if all else fails. Ironically, next week I get paid and should be getting that tax refund, but that isn't going to help just now. Just wanted to give you a head's up. :) Who knows, it may actually inspire me to do the housework I keep talking about. I keep doing all but. I have a good reason to get it all in order, moreso than the norm, anyway, that I'll talk about should it come to fruition. But in the meantime, I'm going to take my Lantus and head on to bed, as I need to get up very early tomorrow. Good night.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccccckkkkkk!

Yay! My window to the universe (also known as Insight Communications) is now up and running again. There is much happiness in the Rowan household. Although I have kept up with the news on my phone for the really big stuff, I want to see what else is out there. So I have The Eagles: Their Greatest Hits in my CD player and will now to commence to see what I've been missing.

I will say one thing for Insight

Yesterday I tried to call my cable company to make a payment arrangement, because I can pay my bill on Thursday but not until, and I suspected my services would be suspended before then, but they apparently are closed on Sunday. So this morning I went to check the weather and lo, the service was suspended (not off completely, just blocked, so there wouldn't be a reconnect fee). So I called, made the arrangement for Thursday, and she said my service would be back up within 20 minutes.

It was one.

My home phone came back online. The TV worked again, and most importantly, the computer came up, although it kept trying to tell me on my home page that it hadn't, but it would go to other pages. So I'm happy with them. I'll catch up on the past due balance Thursday, pay the due balance on the 10th, and be ready for the next one on the 24th. Fortunately even with some of the issues I've been dealing with, that's the only one that was in danger of being cut off.

Okay, I've got to go to work. Have a good day.

My modem died

So it was a pretty easy fix. I've had the same modem for, gee, almost six years, I think. They usually give up the ghost at 4. The technician was friendly, competent, and showed up early enough that I will be able to go into work at the normal time. Yay!

I'm at the Eagle Creek library

because this morning my Internet connexion flaked out and I'm not sure I'll have service when I get home. A technician is going to come on Thursday morning; they just had all day appointments Monday-Wednedsday, which I think is just ridiculous; why should someone take off work and stay home all day just for a 20 minute appointment? At least on Thursday it runs from 8-11 am, so I can still get into work, just a little later. But it's really inconvenient for Insight to do that.

Anyway, I'll try it when I get home, too, but just in case, I just wanted to let you know I might have to blog from the library on my way home each night in the meantime.

My Internet connexion is dropping again

Maybe it's a weekend thing. Hopefully it will resolve again. For now, it's up.

The game was nice

We've had some downtime but it looks like we've got one, possibly two, adventures starting.  Also, three characters that have been in limbo have finally gotten out of the reality bubble they were in and are pursuing leads on a case. It involves a murder on a train (very popular--we had one already, and then there's the infamous 'Horror on the Orient Express' which we haven't gotten to.)  Our gamemaster has been presenting the stories mostly in order according to alphabet as a way to randomise, although certain adventures have to take place at certain times of the year or before another.)  I must remember how to play my character; it's been so long.  Somewhere I have a small notebook with her abilities; I'm pretty sure I know where it is.  Funny how I organise other people's stuff for a living but have trouble with my own.  It is nice to have a clean house though.  Clean, mind you, but not totally in place.  I should go through the closets and drawers and do a purge. Unfortunately Margaret doesn't have a character for that particular adventure.  But I'm sure we'll have something for her to participate in soon. Also, my character on the train is a cousin to one of hers, and they're both necromancers, so she'll get to see her in action.

I am tired, having gotten up at 3:30 am. I think I'll go on to bed.  Ever since I put the call in to Insight about the wonky cable access, it has worked fine.  Murphy's Law, I guess, but I'll keep the appointment just in case it will be an ongoing issue.

Good night.

It would figure

that with being sick I have a little more time to be on the Internet (although in truth, I'm mostly sleeping a lot, taking my medicine when I should, and eating a little), but my Internet connexion went down last night when Insight restricted it. I'll be able to get it back on Tuesday or Wednesday, but I'd hoped that by changing my billing cycle I'd avoid these episodes. At least when it's restricted I have a week before it's actually disconnected, so I don't have to pay to get it back on or anything.

So I'm in the library that is near my house blogging a couple of posts and checking to see if I had any voice mail from my co-worker about coming in a couple of hours for me tomorrow (since my home phone also doesn't work without the cable connexion). But now I'm going to go back home, eat something, and head on to bed for awhile because I'm tired.

I may be online haphazardly for the next few days

as once again, I've had to choose housing, food, and the necessities over paying my cable Internet bill from Insight. I really need to see if I can adjust my billing cycle, since it seems I'm always about a week off in terms of restricting my service. I'll be able to next Thursday, though. At least it's just a 'soft' disconnect, so I won't have to pay a reconnect fee. In the meantime, I'll try to blog from the library at least a few times over that space. I just wanted to give you a head's up. I don't know when I'll lose it, either, so I'll try to blog some before it goes. But right now I'm going to work on game notes. :)

By the way, I was off today from the hospital (hence the blog post in the middle of the day). I worked some on my kitchen and got some rest. I had plans for more, but I'm glad I did get some things done, at least. I'll try to do some more work on the house before I go to sleep.

I guess that last post didn't make much sense

On Friday, I knew my Internet service was going to be restricted by midnight, so when I got home at 11:20 I tried to blog to that effect. Unfortunately, I hit the return key right after typing the title, so it published, then went in to actually do the post and by the time I got through (although before midnight), my service was off. Sorry about that. It's back on (obviously), so here's what you missed:

Friday the 18th

Reading: Necroscope by Brian Lumley (reading aloud with a friend, a chapter a night)

Once again I'm going to have an Internet outage, albeit a relatively short one, that should run from tonight about midnight until Tuesday, when I can pay my bill. I hate that Insight will only allow you to make arrangements to pay once every six months.

On the other hand, I did make my rent yesterday, albeit late, but all the working I did this week should help me be able to be on time for August. Right now I have a roof over my head, electricity, gas for the car, and a little food, so hopefully I can make it until I get paid next week. But I don't have money for anything else, like the bus if something happens to the car, which inexplicably stalled in traffic today, although thankfully it started right back up.

I hate this. I've been looking at jobs and noticed one at the public library closing tomorrow for a part-time children's librarian. But although I love children in theory, and certainly love children's literature, in practice I'm just not comfortable around children. I wasn't even that comfortable around children when I was a child. Babies especially both intrigue and terrify me. Give me a kid about 6-10 and I can relate well. Before and after that, they might as well be aliens. So I'm not going to apply for that job, although it would help to have a second job that paid over $17 an hour. Everything else was either too far away or paraprofessional. There are definite downsides to living in a town with a library school--much more competition. But at least the library jobs are still posted fairly frequently. I've seen a greater dearth, especially the year I graduated (1993), when even the grocers around here weren't hiring. And I've been keeping an eye out for non-library jobs, too. I'd hate to leave librarianship, even temporarily, but I've got to have some financial stability.

I worked 34 hours or so at the store this past week, so I was very busy between that and appointments. It was a little better because I took off from the hospital on Thursday through Tuesday, so I got paid vacation and didn't wind up working 54 hours this week. But when I was home, I was pretty much asleep. I still haven't gotten a chance to call my mom and talk to her for a little while or figure out which physical therapist will work for my elbow issues. And I need to go to the gym/clear off a space in the living room to do yoga. I might be able to work the classes in this week with my work schedule, as I think I am off from the store on Monday and Wednesday. It's worth a try, anyway.

I found out today that one of the women I really like at work is going to be moving to another state soon. It sounds like a great opportunity for her family, it isn't too far away, but still, I'm going to miss her. She's the main person I eat lunch with these days (the others tend to eat outside, and I don't care to be out in the sun, since I burn so easily and am on some medication sometimes that makes that more likely). She's actually expressed interest in how the role-playing game works and I've told her a little bit about what's happening here and there and about my characters (without geeking out on her too badly, I might add).

Well, I think I'll update on Twitter and then head to bed. A friend will be calling me at 3 am for a ride, and tomorrow I work 10-6. I need to work on notes badly tomorrow, but there's also the grand 2-hour finale of 'Avatar: The Last Air Bender' on television, and I'd like to see it.

(Okay, so I couldn't stay on...I had to post this later.)

Saturday the 19th

Yay! We went to pre-pay! Okay, so no one told me until noon, so I was happily pre-authorising pumps for two hours before I found out. This means I have had no drive-offs for July and WON'T EVER AGAIN. Woo-hoo. Of course, it was rather stressful because several people bitched about it and threatened to never darken our door again. Good luck on finding a gas station in this area that isn’t pre-pay. We were one of the last to go.

Avatar was excellent by the way. I'm slowing getting a friend all the DVDs so we can watch them. I just haven't had much money to do so lately.

Sunday the 20th

No game today, but I did all the preparations for it plus a few other projects. I got home around seven, took a three-hour nap, and then got up at ten to do some things (I’d gotten up before 7 am, so I was a little tired.) I need to clear a space in my living room floor for yoga (I have some boxes of books and such. I’m not sure where to put them. Maybe the bedroom closet? I’ll have to check.)

Monday the 21st

A little white spider rode to work with me this morning. Sometimes spiders seem to be messengers from the Gods (particularly my own Patroness, Hekate), but I didn't get a clear sense of a warning or other message.

One more chapter of the Lumley book to go.

Tuesday the 22nd

A very long day, working from 10 am-10 pm between both jobs. The prepay thing has made things much easier. After work I went over to my friend's and we finished Necroscope. The idea is to read the whole series. I enjoyed it thoroughly, although I may need to go back over the last chapter because I was falling asleep as I read, and he did too--not because it was boring, but because we were both so tired (well, and we're kind of geared to fall asleep when read to).

Today

I still feel tired. I got about 6 hours of sleep, but I need more. Today I don't work at the store, but I do have my first session of physical therapy for my elbow, which should be interesting.

I just wanted to take a moment at the library

to let you all know I'm still around, just without my Internet connexion at home. Nothing much interesting has happened personally until today, when I had a dead battery after running some errands before work and stopping in at home to get a cheque I'd forgotten that I meant to put into the bank. Fortunately it was a AAA battery that I got a couple of years ago and it was still under warranty, so they replaced it for free. I was late for work, but back on the road in a fairly short time. And, at least I was outside my apartment and not stranded somewhere.

Last night I got home early, took a nap, then got up and washed dishes and straightened up the house some for about two hours. I still have a lot to go, and I discovered that my garbage disposal is not working/backing up, so I have to call that in to maintenance. Since that's where the dishwasher drains out, it was a problem last night. Unfortunately with the whole battery situation I totally forgot to call it in. Also, when I did try to go back to sleep after my industry, I did a rare thing--I laid in bed unable to go to sleep for an hour or more. Maybe it was just too early, but I kept mulling things that had happened that day and worried about a robbery at work, which hasn't happened and I don't think of it that often, but let's just say I hope there's no precognition going on there, because it's been on my mind more lately.

Well, I guess that's it. I shouldn't stay too long; I've got some other stuff to do tonight. But I just wanted to check in. My connexion may be down longer than I thought; I had to choose gas over paying my bill. So unless an oeconomic stimulus cheque shows up in my mailbox, it may be another week or more.

I may be incommunicado for a bit

I should be losing my Internet connexion sometime today, and I won't be able to pay my Insight bill until next Wednesday. My rent is far more important. But I'll see about blogging from the local public library if I can get over there in the afternoons (the branch near my house doesn't open until a half-hour before I need to be at work). Just wanted to give you a head's up.

How strange

I can get to Blogger, but not YouTube, Google, Gmail, or my home page at Insight. I could understand if I couldn't get through to the first four only, since they're all owned by Google. But no, that doesn't seem to be it. I think Insight's having some issues, or at least my cable modem is. Connexion was spotty last night, although my phone was working fine (I have Vonage running off a router that plugs into the cable modem).

Huh.

I also can't view my blog on Blog*Spot. Maybe it's time to do a little tinkering, exiting out and restarting.

Today's Radioplay: 'The Camberwell Poisoners'