'the point...is that they lived'

: Ever After
: Romantic

Despite a somewhat wooden performance by Drew Barrymore in an effort to do the accent, I love the movie Ever After. I can't help to feel all woolly and romantic whenever I see it. TNT is doing an encore, so I'm taping it now.

I'm not sure why I'm so happy at the moment. The weather has been beautiful. I've visited my family and spent a good bit of time with friends, but also have had time to get rested and enjoy my own company.

I don't remember feeling quite this good last spring. Despite everything--the layoff, the ensuing financial worries, etc.--I quite frankly feel more alive than I have since...well, as a child of 8 or 10, maybe more than ever before. I know a great part of it is the lack of depression; in retrospect I've probably been at least moderately clinically depressed most of my life. Now I sometimes wonder if I'm giddy with some form of mania, but I don't think so...I think I'm just happy, and mostly content with my life. If I can get a job that pays me enough to meet my bills, put a little aside, care for my pets' and my own health, and someday have a home of my own with a garden, it'll just about be perfect. If I were to meet someone special whom I could love and would love me as well in all the silly, syrupy, romantic style, that would be icing on the cake...I don't need someone to be complete, but the romantic in me yearns for love. Maybe it's just springtime fever, but I suppose it's a very human want. I want to experience all the joys--and heartbreaks--of living life fully, and that includes relationships. I think I'm finally ready to trust again. I suppose it's about time. But I do have rather high standards. ;)

Anyway, that's what's going on in my head. I suppose part of it is that it's a dear friend's anniversary, and then my mom and John's is coming up soon, too. I have several people in my life that have good, loving relationships--after years of being around dysfunctional ones--and I suppose I'd like that for myself, too. But first, I guess I need to get on my own feet, so I'm concentrating on getting a job.

Still, do any of you have suggestions of where a girl who doesn't drink, can't abide smoke in bars or clubs (and despite the fact that we have a smoking ban, it's been blocked for nine months, so it still hasn't taken effect), who's a non-church-going pagan is supposed to meet anyone? I'm thinking maybe a book club, but hey, I've never really gotten the hang of the dating thing.