ABCNEWS.com : Are Gay Rights Civil Rights?
Homosexuals are born (and bisexuals--let's not forget them), not made. No one in their right mind would choose to be treated the way gays are. I'm sorry that some within the black community are offended with comparisons for calls for allowing gays to marry with the civil rights movement of the 60s, but I'm sadder that people who have undergone discrimination fail to acknowledge blatant discrimination of another group of people, not for what they do, but who they are.
Marriage is not about sex. Marriage is about committed love and, frankly, is an oeconomic, social, and yes--sometimes religious, institution. You do not need marriage to have sex (or for that matter, you don't need sex to make a marriage). :)
Nor is homosexuality about sex. It's an identity that is not the end all and be all of a person--just as being female or blackis not the end all and be all of a person--but it's certainly not some sort of perversion designed to be rammed down consertive's mouths.
I am bisexual. It is a part of me. It's not a particularly important part of me. It's actually rather a footnote. I'm not out having lots of sex, thank you; in fact, I haven't had sex in over a decade. I simply am attracted to men and women about equally regardless of their gender. A lot of gays would find that weird, too. I have friends who just call me confused. But for whatever reason--and I believe I was born this way--I find both men and women attractive. I'm not attracted to animals. I'm not attracted to children. I'm not some sort of sexual machine. People use these hateful, stupid, fallacious arguments that if you let gays marry, you'll be supporting bestiality, paedophilia, and other abusive practices. See, that's the key word...those are seen as sick because of their abusive nature. Two people committed in a loving relationship is not abusive, and it is not sick. It's beautiful. Hello. There are more things in life to worry about than what two consenting adults choose to do in the privacy of their own home. And one of them is being able to participate fully in society. Marriage changes where you fit in the rest of the world. It's a major life change, something denied to many.
I'm just a person, like any other, who would like to meet someone, fall in love, and partner with them, maybe raise kids, get a house together, and grow old together. I could pass. I could get married to a guy. In fact, I did that. It lasted six months, because it was a mistake, it was dysfunctional, and neither of us would have flourished. I didn't break any vows. I never pledged until death do I part. (We chose 'as long as love will last'.) As a child of divorce, I balked at promising forever when I didn't know if I could live up to it. I was married by a minister, but it was in a church (Unitarian-Universalist) where divorce is not sanctioned.
We all want a soulmate, at least on some level. I know I do. It's one of the reason's I'm not with anyone--I'm too much of a romantic twit to just play the field. And if I find a soulmate who happens to be female, the fact is that at this point I could live with her, maybe take out insurance depending on where we worked, take certain legal steps to protect our life together, have children (the benefit of having a womb--sperm is easy to come by; it's a little harder for gay men to find a surrogate, but then there's also adoption--where it's allowed) and yes--even marry, religiously if not civilly) because in my faith--paganism--there is no dogma. But if I died, she couldn't receive death benefits. We wouldn't have spousal privelege. No matter what legal steps I took, in the end certain decisions like medical surrogacy or organ donation at death could be pre-empted by family. Family. That's the central point here. Marriage is society's way of recognising a family. You get married, they expect you to 'start a family'. When you're in the hospital and they ask for next of kin, your gay lover isn't considered your family, but a spouse would be. The fact is that some couples are allowed to marry legally; other's aren't. It's not their fault they aren't 'family'. It's the system. And the system is wrong.
And there'd be that nagging doubt of second-class citizenship. You know, 'oh, yes, well, it's not like they're actually married.' I couldn't run a notice for my wedding in the paper, at least here, as far as I know. I couldn't file taxes together or enjoy community property protections. And if we ever broke up, I wouldn't be able to take advantage of the legal protections of a formal divorce.
Until gays are treated like people instead of some perversion of nature, you will continue to see people murdered for what they are--not for sleeping with someone, but because others perceive a difference and hate it. In fact, the perception becomes more important in hate crimes against gays, since there's no obvious difference in skin colour, accent, etc. Some people targeted may not be gay at all. But they're still victims of hate.
And they're black, white, red, yellow--all different colours, races, and background, and often discriminated against doubly. Gay and female. Gay and black (homosexuality is culturally anathema to a higher degree in African-American culture).
It's not so much that gays are piggybacking on the civil rights movement. They're paying it the ultimate compliment by finding strength and inspiration in another seemingly hopeless cause. It's a shame they're repaid with hate.
No comments:
Post a Comment