Oops

: 'Love Me When I'm Gone' by 3 Doors Down
: Pretty decent, all things considered

I didn't feel too great earlier. I was starting to think I was coming down with a cold. But in retrospect I think I had a combination allergy (runny eyes, runny nose), sinusitis (drainage, sinus pain headache, nausea), period (cramping, aching, blah), IBS (nausea, cramping), and lastly and most fun being severely dizzy and hard to stay warm.

So I took my meds, came home, took a long nap, took a long, hot bath, finally up and dealing with stuff better four hours later. Which made me realise that I don't think I've taken my Paxil in several days. The last time I actually remember taking it was last Sunday. Granted, that's not necessarily the last time. But regardless, it was an oops on my part. I take it at lunchtime, normally, and with all the different celebrations going on at work I got out of my normal routine. Paxil, like any other SSRI, is not something you should go cold turkey from. If I skip a dose it usually makes me have headaches (but then I've had everything from tension to sinus to migraines most of my life), but I think this was more severe. Also, my thinking's been very fuzzy the last couple of days. That's one thing about having OCD. If I don't take my medication, it really makes it difficult for me to think. It's like my head replays this buzzing loop over and over and I can't make any sense of what's going on outside my head. Compulsive behaviour and obsessive thoughts are part of it, of course, but it's like my brain fires intermittedly when it's at it's most severe. I didn't realise how odd it felt until I had medication that prevented it. The last few days friends have been complaining that I'm mixing up my words, and I've had a really, really hard time speaking. It's not as difficult to right, but I get almost aphasic when it comes to oral communication. Sometimes I mix what I'm trying to say and what's playing in a loop through my head. Does that sound crazy? Probably. I just know that a few hours after taking the medicine, I can think and talk normally again. I think I've been so busy with the holidays I haven't been paying proper attention to my health needs. Time to set an alarm again that says, 'hey, take your pill!'

Wonky brain chemistry.