Have a safe and happy new year

I'm signing off for a few days, the last weekend that I should be without Internet access for awhile. I'm off Monday and taking off Tuesday, which is also when they deliver the cable modem stuff. I'm going to try to get a tyre on Tuesday, since it's so difficult to get them to put one on in a reasonable time when so many other people are off work, but Tuesday should be when most people are back, so there shouldn't be a problem.

I'll write more then. Until that time, please have a safe, reasonably sober (or at least, if you're going to drink, don't drive) New Year. Take care.

Male domination of Internet over

A new study finds that 68% of men and 66% of women use the Internet, but since there are more women in general that means more women use the Internet than men. They also found that men and women use the internet quite differently; men choose solitary pursuits like fantasy sports or games and women e-mail friends or otherwise use the Internet to enrich relationships. I didn't catch where the study took place; it's obviously Western, 'first world' with ready access to the Internet. But considering how men have traditionally dominated the technology fields it's nice to see women catching up. Now if we could just attain equal pay. :)

Good for them

Two teens accused of being lesbians sue school that expelled them

Fun :)

D is getting broadband access the day after I do, so even though we can't chat on the phone yet, we can instant message all we want. Yay!

I forgot to mention

I've rescheduled my oral surgery for Wednesday, January 25th. My driver had a conflict to work around and then I went and didn't realise that the schedule at the station would be made through Wednesday of next week and was supposed to work that afternoon, which wouldn't have been possible with the surgery. Given that it was easier to reschedule than get someone to sub for me, I rescheduled. This also meant that I didn't need to pay the $134 until later in the month, by which time I should have my flexible spending debit card, but if not, it's right after the 'free' paycheque (the one not dedicated to rent) from the hospital.

Yay!

I came in this morning

to find a card on my desk from someone anonymous, with a cheery holiday wish and $20 in it. I'm thrilled, of course, but I kind of feel funny taking it, too, especially as I'm not quite as destitute as I have been throughout the year thanks to the new (third) job. But it will be a nice cushion for some groceries, etc. So, thank you, whoever you are. I promise that I'll pass on the goodwill when I can to someone who needs it, too. And Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, to you as well.

I went through the money I still have after my paycheques at the gas and television stations and I have enough to pay my electric, get some more gas, get the tyre my car needs, and still have some for food. Next week I get paid at the hospital and the gas station, and that together makes my rent, and on time to boot. Because it'll be on time, that's about $35 in late fees avoided. I've budgeted out for the next six months at least on a preliminary basis, and my rent should be on time throughout that period. The gas station's weekly paydays really helps in the cash flow department; even though I'm not getting much, it adds a cushion I didn't have before. I actually may be able to start saving next month! And so far I budgeted based on how much I was making at 10 hours a week, when I've been working 19 of late. So that's just a little extra to go to debts and savings.

In the meantime, I went ahead and paid a back balance with the cable company and as of next Tuesday I'm getting Internet service from them. They had a special deal and I didn't have to pay for installation (as I'm doing it myself). This will help me with my second job at the television station because much of what I do is on the Internet, and I can work from home at hours when the office is closed but still keep up with e-mail, etc. Just not paying the rent late will pay for most of that. I'm not getting cable itself, one because of the extra cost and two because I don't watch much TV and when I do I usually watch with a friend over at his house. I tend to spend my free time on the computer instead. What I would like to eventually do, though, after paying back another debt, is to get Vonage phone service. It's $15 a month and it would really help keep up with friends and family and also in terms of job hunting better than my little pay-as-you-go cell phone, which is really better for emergencies, but not great for chats and rants.

On another totally unrelated note, I'm trying a different tack with my feet. I know, time will help. But I'm having ginger feet for a day or two after working and hobbling around like an old woman. I've actually been tempted to use those scooter carts in the grocery due to the pain. So...I took the gel soles and transferred them to my old pair of short boots. They've got ankle support, lots of room for my toes (I think they're boy's shoes) and I can't roll onto the outer edges of my foot as much as with my other shoes. Granted, they're a dark brown that doesn't really match my office wear that well, but my feet feel better than they have in days. I'm definitely trying these tomorrow at the station to see if that helps.

Disaster Remembrance Week

World Wide Help: Remembrance Week - 26th December, 2005 - 1st January, 2006

It's thundering and lightning

in December. Weird. Just weird.

*Warning: I will now commence whinging*

My feet hurt. Even with gel soles. Even with ibuprofen. The standing for hours at the gas station takes its toll, and they don't seem to be getting used to it, maybe since I don't work everyday. I feel like I can barely walk, and my soles are bright red. That is all.

*Whinging ceases*

It was bound to happen evenutally

Alias Doghouse Reilly - Murder on the Polar Express, Part 1

Oooh...the last book will soon be started

J.K.Rowling , in the 'Christmas present' message on her website, talks of her both the excitement and dread in approaching the last book in the series of Harry Potter. She's been going over the planning stage and doing some fine-tuning, and is set to start writing next month.

I know. That means we'll have to wait a year or two to see the finished product. But it's one step closer to finding out how it all turns out.

You might want to check out the Scotsman article speculating on whether her comments mean that Harry will die in the last book or if it simply rules out a second series.

A tad longer year than normal for 2005

Telegraph | News | Leap second means 2006 will arrive late

My babies

Here's some experimenting with the new camera.

There's Cerys licking me. Yes, she has a bare butt from all those years of rolling in grass.
Here's her front.
And finally, Darius, wishing you a happy holiday.

I really enjoyed the holiday

And I didn't do too badly with my list from November, especially as only one gift was a direct result of reading it online.

Okay, it's really not about things, but I'm including this catalogue anyway.

Things I gave: a multipurpose massage pillow (A), a UK women's basketball media guide (A), a massaging cushion for home or car (J), lead crystal hurricanes and peppermint candles (MC), a bath set (M), popcorn/puzzle set (D&E), a book (Y), tiny one-certificate-per-day-of-Hanukkah gift certificates to a favourite store (Y), 3 videos (Y), a dream journal (DD), a blank book (B), and for my Secret Santa, a melts warmer, some bath lotion, a picture frame, a candle holder and candle, and some chocolate covered cookie bars. All things considered, I did really well, and I didn't go over $150 for everyone which if you include the little $1 gifts for the Secret Santa averages out to be about a little over $6 per gift, but everyone got something pretty nice and and I think they liked them, and I was able to give without any real money stress thanks to the timing of my cheque and a gift card to Wal-Mart from the hospital.

Things I got: A gift certificate to Joseph-Beth and a Li'l Cthulhu desk calendar (Y&A), a fruit basket and money I used to buy a very professional looking briefcase/purse (MC) and shoes for interviews, money I used for a really nice meal at Joe Bologna's including homemade carrot cake (D&E), money I'm using for a digital camera and car tyre (M&J), a velvet box with a black Bast cat statuette and blue-white Bast statuette pendant (B), and a Goddess of Willendorf double-sided bead (my boss at the television station). Things I got from my Secret Santa: Heath bars, several blues CDs, tealights, a red mosaic tealight holder with shade, and a hat/gloves/scarf set.)

But best of all was the time I was able to spend with people over the holiday. I really enjoyed it. I had a wonderful time at our Secret Santa party. I had a very nice meal with friends. I spent Christmas with my family. I played in the game the day after Christmas. It's been a good time of just being with others. I hope your holiday was nice, too.

Yesterday was more than a post-Christmas shopping day

fuelled by so many people being off due to Christmas falling on Sunday. It was also the anniversary of the massive tsunami that killed thousands upon thousands in South Asia on December 26, 2004. I want to take a moment to recognise that, to remember those killed and those whose lives changed forever on that day. It's hard to imagine any good coming of such a massive disaster, but it did lead to unprecedented cooperation amongst groups and governments. Check out Acheh: Building Peace from its Ruins for a glimmer of hope of ending a civil war when nature's wrath united enemies, at least for a time. Let us hope peace will prevail.

How does Google collect and rank results?

Google Librarian Center

To find out when other library-related newsletters are put out by Google, you can join the announcement list at http://groups.google.com/group/librarian-newsletter.

This is so cool

LibraryThing | Catalogue your books online

Not only can you catalogue, you can share your library with others. It gives you 200 books for free, $10 for a year, or $25 for life. I'm thinking life...and I've got about four thousand to catalogue.

Why am I up this early?

I went to bed last night around 1:30, somewhat jazzed from the English Toffee capuccinos I'd been drinking at work (all you can drink, it's a perk, no pun intended). So this morning bright and early (well, dark and early, as it was 5:30 and the sun was not in sight) I woke up raring to go. I got ready and then went out to look for the one gift I hadn't found yet. Now I just have to stop by a store where I have something on hold, pick that up, get some gift certificates there (since I'm doing both Christmas and Chanukah) and I'm finished. Go me!

So now it's just past eight and I'm blogging because I don't have to be at work until 10.

I kept things modest this year, but more robust than I can normally afford, spending a total of about $130 for thirteen gifts (eight Chanukah and five Christmas), about $55 of which was on a gift card that work had given me, so I didn't have to use a lot of cash. That's in addition to the Secret Santa, which ran about $18. Altogether, I'm happy.

I did splurge just a little this morning. Kroger had zygo cacti (Christmas cacti) for $2.99 (regular $7.99, so $5 off) and I bought one for my desk at work. It's pink and has one full bloom and a whole bunch of buds and is...well...perky.

I got paid at all three jobs yesterday. I'm keeping two of the cheques in that form until I find out whether or not I get my flexible spending debit card before the first of the year. Together they make up the $134 I need to pay for the oral surgery on the 4th of January. If I get the debit card, I can use it instead. But for now I'm saving that. I've doled out gas, phone, electric, and medicine money, too. There's some left over for groceries. The paycheque I got from the gas station was my first, for 10 hours. Last week I worked 14; this week I'm working 19. I like the idea of getting paid every week. And at least it will keep me in gas, ironically enough, plus help with rent and groceries.

I'm sleepy now. Or rather, tired but not quite sleepy, where you're both sleepy and jazzed at the same time. I probably would be a little more focussed with my Adderall, which I tried to get this morning. Turns out my doctor wrote two prescriptions (since I don't see her again until February) and the one I brought was dated for January, so I have to bring in the other one instead. Argh.

My feet hurt. I still am not used to standing for so long at the cash register. Fortunately I have a foot rest at the hospital which elevates them a little and takes the pressure off the soles. Tomorrow I work eight hours and Tuesday I work six. At least I'm getting days off in between to recuperate, and I'm off on Christmas, so I can go on home.

That's all for now. I think I'll check the news and see if there's anything blogworthy.

A quote for the holiday

from Garrison Keillor:

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Just in time for the holidays

Art of 'Regifting' Requires Planning

Not that any of us would ever do that, right? ;) I mean, yeah, we might give all of our friends a...say...rock marble for Yule because we're too poor, but at least we bought those, right?

Actually, I think this is the first year in ages my family is getting gifts that were specifically bought for each person.

This is a really scary news story

Woman kidnapped, raped repeatedly in front of her toddler now safe

She managed to mouth the words 'help me' and the name of the motel where she was being held to a liquor store clerk who happened to also be a domestic violence counselor and who had the presence of mind to call 911. The man who kidnapped her and her son from a Wal-Mart parking lot is being held without bail, thankfully.

Is it just wrong

that I don't associate 'The Nutcracker' with Christmas, but rather Tetris, the Russian game with falling blocks?

I shouldn't be surprised, really. As a child, I wasn't exposed to a lot of 'high' culture. I had to make that up as an adult. But I was exposed to TV. So I first heard Ravel's 'Bolero' on 'Star Trek' and the music to Carmen--with words from Hamlet from 'Gilligan's Island'. Sad, I know, but at least I finally found out their true origins. But I'm listening to holiday music on the radio, and now I want to go play my PDA version of Tetris, you know?

Ah, well, back to work instead.

Where in the world are the blogging librarians?

Check with Frappr to find out (and add yourself, if you're one). I did.

I'd be concerned over privacy, certainly

N.Y. Adopts Code to Monitor People with Diabetes

A nice cross-cultural look at the importance of trees in religion

Santa Claus and the Origin of the Christmas Tree: Pole-Spirits North and South

Happy Yuletide

Today is the winter solstice (summer for those of you Down Under, of course, but winter here, anyway), a time when in the midst of the cold and dark we celebrate the rebirth of the sun, the coming of warmth, and the promise that new growth will begin.

Strange and yet somehow fitting that I stumbled upon an obituary for my cousin's mother-in-law today of all days. She died just a couple of weeks ago. I was looking for their address so I could send a holiday card, and instead found this.

This is a particularly rough time of year for those who have lost loved ones, for it is a time where families come together. I know it must be difficult for Lisa and her children at this time, and that saddens me.

We are such fragile creatures. Violeta Warner was four years younger than my own mother. As we go into the holiday, I think I will be more grateful for the time we have together as a result.

Think about those you love. Now imagine that one day they were gone. What would you like to tell them? Would you like one last chance to be with them? Carry that with you into the holiday, and don't let all the little things that build up at this time and cause stress and anxiety to matter. What matters is being together, telling someone how much you love him or her, and spending each moment as if it were the last.

And in the meantime, the circle turns, and as dark as it is, as cold and drear, we know the sun will return, warmth will cause things to blossom, and life will renew. And so it is with our loved ones, as well.

Looking at homelessness and the local public library

Lexington Herald-Leader | 12/21/2005 | Homeless are welcome - as long as they behave

Groovin' along

Listening to: Ella Fitzgerald, 'Somebody Nobody Loves' and 'When I Get Low I Get High'

which is perfect for doing interlibrary loans to. Really.

Wow!

An Excerpt from The Google Story talks about eventually the search engine being used to tailor medical advice by allowing doctors to Google your genes.

Think about that.

A fun read

Rex Libris by James Turner

The astonishing story of the incomparable Rex Libris, Head Librarian at Middleton Public Library, and his unending struggle against the forces of ignorance and darkness. With the aid of an ancient god who lives beneath the library branch, Rex travels to the farthest reaches of the galaxy in search of overdue books. He must confront incredible foes, such as powerful alien warlords who refuse to pay their late fees. Wearing his super thick bottle glasses, and armed with an arsenal of high technology weapons, he strikes fear into recalcitrant borrowers, and can take on virtually any foe from zombies to renegade public-domain literary characters with aplomb.

And here's a review.

Heh. Yes, just try to borrow the Necronomicon without a library card. I dare you.

A nice compendium of library humour

library_mistress' library humour slideshow on Flickr

although of course it's probably a major copyright violation. I particularly like the one that says:

Books cause dangerous thoughts: For your protection give all books to your local fireman for safe disposal.

I do so like Fahrenheit 451.

Yes, hire me!

UBC Google Scholar Blog

Meanwhile, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales suggests in Nature's Weekly Podcast that "As we grow the wikipedia community, information specialists and librarians are needed to assess the accuracy, readability and scope of the entries..." To Wikipedia: hire some librarians!

Textmining PubMed

The Arrowsmith Project Homepage

Tools for linking find sets, finding specific authors within PubMed and annotating the results of a PubMed query, currently under construction, but interesting.

I feel like I'm fighting through fog

My blood sugar's 175 where I haven't eaten for awhile. I had a few pretzels just now, so hopefully my body will make some insulin and I'll feel better. I just feel like curling up and sleeping. Gack.

On the other hand, I've pushed myself to get a lot of work done in a short time whilst feeling like crap, so that's good. I have a busy day ahead with some errands that are important and then Speedway from 4-10. I'm not quite sure how to get through everything I need to do. But I'll muddle through.

Hate those pesky registration screens?

Try BugMeNot.com. I'm assuming it won't work on the ones that require a verification using an image, but otherwise it can be useful.

A jab at the PATRIOT Act

Slate Magazine - Editorial and Political Cartoons, Comic Strips

Ok, which was the librarian who wouldn't turn over her files?

with a lineup...great! I thikn I bear a certain similarity to the one in pants. :)

Yipee!

We had drawings at work for door prizes and I won a DVD/CD player...something I was beginning to think I was the only person on the planet (okay, that's obviously a little overboard, how about at least in a 50-mile radius) without! Yay!

Someone's on the ball

re: the FBI memo about 'radical militant librarians' kicking the FBI's butts, we all want a t-shirt, right? Or at least a mug? Ergo: Radical Militant Librarian : CafePress.com

Nice website on the history of medicine

The Wellcome Trust Centre for the History of Medicine at UCL

Tired of those happy 'Read' posters from the ALA?

Check out DONTREAD.org | brought to you by Audible.com--promoting audio books. I can't quite see hanging them up in a library, but hey, we do audio books, too, right?

Santa, Baby

The folks at the public broadcasting station I work at sure know how to have fun. I went in for my paycheque (so it all went to rent, but I'm paid up, yay) and they had Santa on a sleigh (a flatbed hand truck that had been decorated) complete with elves and a reindeer delivering the cheques. Also, since it's a state job, I 1) get the day before and the day after Christmas/New Year's weekends as holidays, and 2) our next paycheque, which would usually be the 30th, will come right before Christmas instead. Anyway, Santa came in time for me to get my cheque, pay my apartment complex, and get to work. Thanks, Santa, Baby.

This place is always one for food, there's often potluck lunches, etc., but around the holidays it's even more so. I overheard someone who had it right, 'there's always food around here, you just have to know where to look'. Maybe I should be glad I don't work full-time, or I'd probably be even more roly-poly. And they're very giving. There's a tree which allows you to sponsor a family by giving gifts they need. There's always something going on to unite the different departments, too. This month there was a wreath contest, secret Santas, etc. It's nice to know they can get the job done but have fun doing it. It's never a chore to come into there.

Speaking of eating, today is the holiday dinner at the hospital where people bring in desserts and we get a free meal, for which since I am now officially broke until next Wednesday, I am very happy. Fortunately I still have a little on the gift card to get groceries if I need to, and I should have a little help with gas.

I''m amazed that we're this far into the season and I'm still in a holiday spirit. Of course, I haven't been near a mall. Nothing kills my holiday spirit like a mall.

That's it. I just wish I remembered what I told a friend I'd be getting him for Christmas. Dratted memory. Now he expects it and I haven't any idea what it was, beyond a book at a gaming store. Do you know how many gaming books there are out there? I definitely need to go by the store and see if my memory jogs.

A look at the pagan underpinnings and trends within Judaism

Jewish Paganism: Oxymoron or Innovation?

Percolating in the copyright universe

The Section 108 Study Group, convened by the Library of Congress to update how the Copyright Act is interpreted in a digital world in such a way to serve the needs of fair use, particularly as it applies to libraries.

Hurricane-related mental health resources available

Last Wednesday, December 7th, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) launched a national public service announcement (PSA) campaign to encourage adults and first responders who may be experiencing emotional distress following the recent hurricanes to seek mental health services.

Research on the mental health consequences of major floods and hurricanes suggests that the psychological impact of these disasters could be widespread, serious, and long-lasting. Experts estimate the numbers affected by the recent events to be substantial. The holidays may be especially difficult for hurricane victims, as the personal losses of community and loved ones become more real.

HHS' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is leading the PSA campaign in partnership with the Ad Council. As a complement to the campaign, SAMHSA's Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS) created a Hurricane Mental Health Awareness Campaign Web site http://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/disasterrelief/ where visitors can view the PSAs and obtain disaster-related resources that include:

* Brochures and fact sheets to help parents, families, educators, and
other caregivers care for their own and their children's mental health during a disaster.
* Guidelines for first responders and relief workers.
* Best practices, reports, and policy guidelines for program planners.

* Links to State and local disaster relief agencies and referrals.
* A 24-hour service hotline.
* Other mental health and substance abuse facility locator services.

Some resources also have Spanish translations.

SAMHSA/CMHS National Mental Health Information Center's call center (1-800-789-2647; 866-889-2647-TDD) is offering extended service hours to accommodate consumer need at this time. Assistance and bilingual information services are now available Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 12 a.m., EST.

All resources on the Hurricane Mental Health Awareness Campaign Web site http://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/disasterrelief/ are offered as a no-cost public service to consumers. You can link to any of these resources or post the content to your Web site with a link back to the National Mental Health Information Center's Web site as your source.

To order copies of print publications, go to http://store.mentalhealth.org/publications/ordering.aspx or contact the call center.


************************************************************************

A VERY HAPPY HOLIDAY TO ALL!



SAMHSA's National Mental Health Information Center

info@mentalhealth.org

*****************************************************

SAMHSA's National Mental Health Information Center's Web site http://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov and call center (1-800-789-2647; 866-889-2647-TDD) offer users of mental health services-families, the general public, policymakers, providers, and the media-reliable information and resources to support mental health needs and objectives. These services are administered through SAMHSA's CMHS division.

India creating a public domain encyclopaedia of ayuravedic medicine

India hits back in the 'bio-piracy' battle

Interesting

Medscape's Depression Resource Centre has a couple of articles on diabetes and major depression (and a whole host of articles on major depression, the number one cause of disability amongst people five and older, and the site is free with registration).

It's amazing

that Wikipedia doesn't have more issues like this, but overall it's been pretty reliable, because in addition to anyone being able to edit, there's also quite a bit of peer review of a sort.

On the 'to do' list for humanity

800 species slated for extinction without intervention

For more on biodiversity efforts, check out the Alliance for Zero Extinction.

Oh, like that makes sense

Okay, so I'm scheduled for my oral surgery (the 4th of January), but beyond the date I don't have any idea of the time and won't until I go through pre-admission on January 3rd. This makes it difficult as my ride has a conflict at 10 that morning, and we don't know if this will cause a problem or not. Agggh! The surgery is at St Joseph's Main, rather than the East hospital where I had my carpal tunnel surgery. But the procedure surrounding outpatient surgery should be the same.

On the other hand, I was impressed by the surgeon's manner and I found out my health insurance will pick up 100% of the hospital-related costs. The lady at the surgeon's office seemed surprised at how quickly it was approved. Go, UnitedHealthcare!

I'm off the 2nd for the New Year, need to do pre-op the 3rd, then surgery the 4th. I wonder if I should take off any time after the surgery. I'm having four wisdom teeth and one molar removed. How about it? Do any of you have suggestions? Did you need to take off after your wisdom teeth came out?

Who knew we librarians were so much trouble?

At F.B.I., Frustration Over Limits on an Antiterror Law - New York Times: (my emphasis)

One internal F.B.I. message, sent in October 2003, criticized the Office of Intelligence Policy and Review at the Justice Department, which reviews and approves terrorist warrants, as regularly blocking requests from the F.B.I. to use a section of the antiterrorism law that gave the bureau broader authority to demand records from institutions like banks, Internet providers and libraries.

While radical militant librarians kick us around, true terrorists benefit from OIPR's failure to let us use the tools given to us,' read the e-mail message, which was sent by an unidentified F.B.I. official. 'This should be an OIPR priority!!!'

Everything you wanted to know about Impact Factor but were afraid to ask

Biomedical Digital Libraries | Abstract | 1742-5581-2-7 | The "impact factor" revisited available for free PDF download.

ABSTRACT: The number of scientific journals has become so large that individuals, institutions and institutional libraries cannot completely store their content physically, and much less so intellectually. In order to prioritize the choice of quality information sources, librarians and scientists are in need of reliable decision aids. The "impact factor" is the most commonly used assessment aid in the decision-making process of which journals to contribute to, or to retrieve knowledge from. It is also an often misunderstood tool. This narrative review explains how the impact factor is calculated, how bias is introduced into the calculation, which questions it can or cannot answer, and how different professional groups can benefit from the information that the impact factor provides.

Check it out. (Okay, if you're not a librarian, you probably won't want to. But librarians probably would.)

So I'm not alone after all

Grow Up Already! Why it takes so long to mature

Tips for keeping those resolutions

from ADDitude Magazine

A nice spotlight on medical librarians and their value

Physicians find Librarians Vital (Registration is free, albeit annoying.) [I had no idea the average salary for a medical librarian was so high. Really? Hmmmm...]

Something to consider in treating depression and other disorders

FOXNews.com - Health - Paxil: Stronger Birth Defects Warning

Yipee! No need to keep a secret anymore!

As part of our employee appreciation efforts, in lieu of a Christmas party this year, the hospital gave everyone a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart. So, I can probably go ahead and buy a new tyre and still have money for holiday gifts for my family. Yay!

Yesterday I went to the oral surgeon. Because I have sleep apnea, they're going to take my wisdom teeth out at a hospital rather than in the office. That means my health insurance has to pre-approve the change, so it'll probably be two to four weeks before I have it done. The total I have to pay after dental insurance is $134 (20% of the total). Not bad. And if United Healthcare has to approve it, then it probably works like the outpatient surgery I had for carpal tunnel, and the hospital part will be covered 100%. Yay again.

I also started my job at the gas station. I'm catching on to the register pretty quickly. Authorising the pumps is quite easy. The hardest thing to do is apparently the lottery, and I've watched that. It was was a good night to start, with a winter storm that petered out to just some slush on the roads and no real snow accumulation (although at one point snow was coming down in groups of flakes that were three to four inches in diametre). I only worked four hours. I'll work six more on Saturday. I like it so far, and I like my co-workers. If I can work about 10 hours a week there and 5-10 hours per week at KET, that brings me up to 35-40 hours per week. I feel better about myself already, more productive, more together. It's funny how something small can do that.

I got the rest of my paycheque today, so I should be on track to make my rent. I have to go back and check how much I worked at KET to be sure, but I've got $375 of it and then I get paid at KET on the 15th and that should be at least another hundred. My rent's $470, so it'll be down to whether I need more for late fees. Starting next month, though, my paydays line up so that I shouldn't be late for any reason. I've already plotted them out through June. That'll save me about $30 a month.

Tonight is our Secret Santa party. I'm really looking forward to it. I took my gifts home last night and after work relaxed to Ella Fitzgerald with the holiday lights on and a candle burning in the little lamp. It was very nice.

Hope your holiday season is stress-free (ha!) and happy.

It is very, very quiet

We have a two-day lecture going on at work, which means clinic is shut down and there is consequently not a lot of action going on, which gives a lot of us time to catch up on other projects. In the library, they're painting. It amazes me what a great job the guys do. No taping, no dropcloths, but no mess. I don't know how they do it. It's the first time the library's been painted in thirteen years, so it definitely needed it. They switched from an off-grey to an off-white, and it looks brighter in here already. The guys are out pre-salting the parking lot (we have a winter storm with up to 6-10 inches of snow possible on its way), but they should be able to finish painting today. Yay.

Today's Secret Santa gift is shiny, and I got a glass mosaic candle lamp to go with the red tealights I received yesterday. I really like it. So far my Secret Santa has been just right on with things I enjoy. Since most of the girls are attending the lecture, I was able to deliver mine easily this morning, too. :)

Yesterday I went to the doctor and she increased my ADDerall to 30 mg and kept me on the lower dose of Abilify for now. I don't go back for two months, so we're in a maintenance phase now, apparently. Today I find out when I'll have my wisdom teeth out and start the new job at the gas station, plus it's payday. Double yay, even if it all goes to housing.

I sat down the other night and worked out a budget for the next six months, when I'll pay what bills, etc. I think with the three jobs I'll be able to make it on about $1200 a month and maybe even save a little each month.

I just got my paycheque and there's a mistake on it, so I'll sign off and go see about working that out. Have a good day.

PS Apparently there was an accidental third deduction for AAA. They're going to try to cut me a refund cheque in the next couple of days since I'm trying to make my rent, rather than put it on the next paycheque. Yay. Have I mentioned that in general I love working at the hospital? There's not a lot of bureaucracy to go through and since we're relatively small, you get to know just about everyone, at least on first shift. The layoff is really the only bad thing about working here, and it's been long enough that I've come to terms with that.

This is a great parody of diploma mills

General Delivery University, an affiliate of the Frumious Bandersnatch, a satirical news site.

A nifty documentary

The Hollywood Librarian: Librarians in Cinema and Society

It's funny the things Google spits out

Apparently if you Google Lexington, Kentucky and ceramic Christmas tree, you get this blog as one of the hits. One of my co-workers, W, sent me an e-mail asking if I were the same person she knew. It's a small world after all. The same woman has met my ex-in-laws, because they're from the same town. Weird.

I'm glad (and sad)

they were able to tie the knot in a bittersweet ceremony a day before one partner died. Britain apparently has a new law that has gone into effect giving gays civil partnership rights. The couple, one of whom had terminal lung cancer, applied for a special waiver of the waiting period (most will be able to undergo registration and ceremonies starting December 21st) because of the concern that he would not live to do it. The couple have been together for seven years.

It's nice to see countries giving basic rights to people regardless of sexual orientation. Britain's law isn't a marriage one, but it's a great step in the right direction, providing at least the minimum of rights that should be accorded any couple of legal adults who want to commit to each other. I hope to see it happen here during my lifetime. It just underscores the fact that I live in a fairly backwards area that is, despite being a regional gay mecca, very much ensconced in Bible-belt anti-gay legislation. I have to admit, if I were in a committed relationship with a woman, I'd seriously be thinking of moving to another state or country and establishing residency or otherwise going through the legal hoops necessary to join together legally. I wish people would realise that the actual legal aspect of marriage--all marriages registered in this country--is purely civil and does not impact anyone's idea of religious marriage. That happens in its own ceremony that just happens to be held on the same day as the civil binding, and the law accords ministers the right to perform the same civil duties as a justice of the peace...namely the signing of the marriage certificate after a dutiful application for licence. From a Christian point of view, most denominations would not recognise a religious service between same sex couples as a marriage, but that's a matter within the religion. My own religion would not have anything wrong with it, and certain denominations have come out to perform ceremonies. But these are all still essentially separate from that legal document that entitles a person to inherit, share property, and accords certain civil rights. And that, in this country, is no place for religious debate. I find it ludicrous that I, who was allowed to enter into that civil state and was considered married by all the laws of this land, even though nine months later I sued for divorce and can never truly explain the idiocy of having entered into it in the first place, but people who are together twenty years are considered living in sin and not accorded any basic rights...even to see each other in the hospital...without a large amount of paperwork to mimic as closely as possible the same rights I received with just one piece of paper. It makes no sense. I see this as being a non-issue someday, as accepted as, say, interracial marriage is today. But it'll be a long time coming for some.

Well, I (unofficially) have a third job

I do the paperwork on Thursday, work my first shift of about four hours to train, and then I'll work Saturday. It's at a gas station a couple of blocks from home. Wish me luck. :) A friend is concerned that I'll rack up bad karma selling cigarettes and alcohol. I think I'm okay so long as they're of age. We'll see. I can't afford any more bad karma; I seem to have it in spades already. I'm beginning to think I was very naughty in a past life. Another friend is afraid in terms of safety--robbery, etc. Hopefully that won't be an issue. Wish me luck.

Getting to know you

1. What is your full name?? Elisabeth Eilir Aranea Rowan (Lisa for short)
2. What color pants are you wearing? I'm not wearing pants. Today is a rare dress day.
3. What are you listening to right now?? Ella Fitzgerald.
4. What was the last thing you ate??? Peanut butter sandwich
5. Do you wish on stars? Yes.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Indian red. It was the one I always used for my hair as a kid.
7. How is the weather right now? Cold. Very cold.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? YKWIA.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes.
10. How old are you today? 38
11. What is your favorite drink? Fresca.
12. Favorite sport? Participating? Volleyball. Watching? Ice Skating and English Premiere Football.
13. Hair color? Chestnut Brown.
14. Do you wear contacts? Sometimes, though not for a while. I do wear glasses though, and have since I was 8.
15. Siblings?? Um...not that I know of.
16. Favorite month? April
17. Favorite food? Indian.
18. What was the last movie you saw? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
19. Favorite time of the year?? Spring
20. What do you do to vent anger? Mostly hold it in. Maybe cuddle a stuffed animal and devise a list of people who will be mown down by a bus in my head.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hmmm...probably my Dynamite doll. She was a fully articulated action female, who came in a pink motorcycle outfit. She was a gymnast, spy, all sorts of great things. In comparison, I threw my Barbie dolls at power lines.
22. Summer or winter? Summer
23. Hugs or kisses? Hugs.
24. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
25. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Yes.
26. Who is most likely to respond? D or N
27. Who is least likely to respond? J; she sent this to me.
28. When was the last time you cried? Last week.
29. What is under your bed? Holiday decorations (what's not up), house slippers, dust bunnies.
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? YKWIA, in terms of continuously in touch. 17 years!
31. What did you do last night? Washed dishes, swept, mopped the floor, cleaned the refrigerator, picked a friend up from work.
32. What are you afraid of? Heights. I used to be afraid of thunderstoms, but not so much anymore.
33. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn? Caramel.
34. Favorite car? Prius.
35. Favorite flower? Iris.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? Let me check. Five: apartment, mail, car, library, Dwana's
37. How many years at your current job? 7 years, 9 months.
38. Favorite day of the week? Sunday. I play in the game.
39. What did you do on your last birthday? I don't remember.
40. How many states have you lived in? 5--Kentucky (multiple times), Louisiana (twice), California (twice), South Carolina, Kansas.
41. How many cities have you lived in? Let's see--Junction City, Dry Ridge, Owenton, Danville, Stanford, Lexington (Kentucky), England AFB, Barksdale AFB (Louisiana), Vandenberg AFB, Edwards AFB (California), Wichita, Belle Plaine (Kansas), Myrtle Beach AFB, Garden City (South Carolina) so that's fourteen if you count air force bases.
42. How may countries have your lived in? Only one--I somehow didn't manage to go outside the US as a military dependent.

OK your turn? See how many you get back

I'm listening to the blues

I got a collection of various blues greats for my Secret Santa gift today (the theme was soft, and as she put it, these songs are soft, smooth, and blue.) :) I love blues but don't really have much beyond Marc Broussard, so this is great. Yesterday's theme was sweet; I got some Heath bars, my favourite candy. This is fun. So is dodging the person I have, trying to deliver her presents in secret. And one of the girls who isn't doing the gift thing has been recruited as an elf to help keep the secret, so she's having fun, too. I think I may know who mine is...but it could just be someone who talked to the person. We'll see. I'm enjoying being a Secret Santa, too. And I'm glad that mine took a different tack on soft because I did too, though I won't say what I got for the person here for now just in case one of the girls reads this.

I'm still very much in the holiday mood. I have a tree on my desk quietly twinkling (I usually do still lights with twinkling ones). I've sent almost all of my holiday cards out, which is so rare that my relatives will be very surprised.

I've confirmed my appointment with the oral surgeon, so I'm a step closer to having my wisdom teeth out.

Today I have an interview at the gas station for a job and I went ahead and wore a dress and my new pumps, which have a higher heel on them then I've ever worn (about 2 inches). So I'm getting used to walking in heels and it's a little disconcerting. It's okay if I don't think about it. Remember, I never really got the Girl Handbook. :)

Oh, and N sent me a quiz with a slightly evil twist. You fill out information about your current and first crush, and it asks some rather personal questions (like how often you masturbate and whether you are attracted to the same sex, and what celebrities you'd have a three-way with). Then instead of giving you some thing about your sex and love life, it e-mails the info to the person who sent it to you. It's a little embarrassing, but not too bad. Of course, I'm pretty open about my sex life (or lack thereof). My three-way, incidentally, was David Duchovny and Catherine Zeta-Jones. :) Anyway, if this sounds fun to you, you can get your friends to fill it out by going to http://www.crush007.com/ and following the directions there.

Apparently the turkey spirits got bored and gobbled away

My rash of bad luck seems to be waning, and I'm finally getting over the crud I had. I'm only hacking occasionally now. I've gone through three bags of cough drops in the last week, but I haven't had to take any more today (knock on wood).

This weekend was mostly uneventful, although the game was particularly entertaining. Only in our version of Call of Cthulhu would a character 1) be shot by a Rambo-like assassin determined to prevent an Apocalypse of Biblical proportion, 2) mentally whammy the assassin to sleep, 3) find out that the helpful doctor who came along in the ambulance is the back-up assassin, 4) detoxified the poison the doctor injected, 5) sleep the doctor, 6) decide to get out of restraints by stepping sideways into the spirit world, 7) turn into a raven to step out of the bonds, 8) turn back to self, then 9) launch self outside the ambulance to get away from everyone who's trying to kill him, returning to our world, only to 10) be hit by a lorry, and 11) find out he's now in Dublin Ireland rather than Derby England.

Got that? Yep, that's our game. We're no closer to preventing Apocalypse, but if this keeps up we may not need to worry, because the character's going to be too beaten up to turn into an avatar of Nyarlothotep.

I love Lovecraft, and I love what a good job our gamemaster does at setting the stage. Sometimes, though, players send their characters careening in unexpected ways across that stage. This was one of those times. It's an interactive story after all. Sometimes it pings into strange directions. After fourteen years of play, our story has gone into some very odd ones indeed. But this was just classic. Thanks, B. :)

PS Today marks the fourteenth anniversary of living out on my own away from my marriage. It seems like it was just yesterday in some ways, and a lifetime away in others. Also, happy birthday to U! (a person whose name starts with U., not bad grammar for 'you').

Aaaaggghhh!

I will not be anxious. I will not be anxious. I will not be anxious.

About Wisdom Teeth

I'm trying to figure out timewise when would be the best to do the extraction, as I need a ride home (and have a limited pool of drivers) and didn't want to miss the holiday meal at work. Apparently the likelihood of complications is greater because of my age and being a woman--not in terms of the anaesthesia, my great fear when I was younger, but in terms of post-op issues. I'll discuss these issues with my doctor, and hopefully that will put me to ease. Now I'm going to try to not panic and just take it in stride when it gets scheduled. Whew!

Hack, hack, cough.

No, it's not a variation on the classic D&D attack of claw, claw bite. I am beginning to wonder just how much snot one person can produce. Is there a factory in my feet? It just seems bottomless. Argh.

Imagine a 40-year battle over a state tree

Yes, that happened here in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

A history of the battle Tulip Poplar vs. Kentucky Coffee Tree can be found on the Kentucky Department for Libraries and Archives website.

Yes, we're a bunch of cantankerous cusses. What can I say? Personally I fall on the coffee tree side of the debate. After all, it's endangered and is poisonous if the seeds aren't prepared right. You have to love that. :) The seeds remind me a little of buckeyes (Ohio's tree). Although tulip poplars, not a poplar at all but related to magnolias, are fine trees, too.

:)

Can I just say I love my dentist,

Robin Bays, and her office staff? Not only did she NOT run screaming at seeing the shape of my mouth after several years of not seeing a dentist, she 1) went straight to work on the initial problem, requiring a root canal, 2) set up a cleaning (today), 3) did the cleaning herself when the hygienist was unavailable, 4) they all did a really good job of staying in latex-free gloves (although I caught her once before anything came of it), 5) took x-rays painlessly, 6) set up my appointment to see an oral surgeon, rather than making me do it, 7) set up the three appointments I'll need for my treatment plan plus another cleaning in 6 months, so I'm all set and could get good times, 8) have been really good about payment flexibility, and 9) are just so darn friendly. They also took panoramic views of my mouth so the oral surgeon won't have to and gave it to me to take. Plus I saw them work with another patient, a young girl, today who was very nervous and they were explaining everything really well and were going to give her nitrous oxide to calm her down and even explained everything to do with that really well.

The verdict, which I've known for years, is that I really need my wisdom teeth out, have needed them for all this time, and now for the first time I feel fine about going under sedation to do it. (Having survived two surgeries in the past year, I'm not as nervous). Plus I have a broken tooth that needs removal. So that's five to have out all at once. Gack! But once they heal we can start replacing some fillings and work on crowns and spacers.

I'm so glad my flexible spending account is going to have a debit card attached to it starting January 1st. That way I don't have to come up with the cash on hand first before getting it reimbursed. Looks like my main project in the coming year will be my teeth. Maybe I shouldn't have reduced the amount I'm having taken out after all. Oh, well. We're going to try to have the oral surgery done sometime this month. I have an evaluation next week. That comes under this year and I still have about $600 left to spend or I'll lose it. So here's hoping we can get it done soon.

So we have this thing at work

where we fill out a form listing our performance improvements over the past year. I was really tempted to write:

Librarian receiving medicine for ADD improves her output tremendously.

It's true. I'm not sure I would have ever been able to catalogue the whole collection if I weren't more focussed, and I certainly couldn't do it in a timely manner. I did get to put the catalogue in as an improvement. Same goes for the other improvement I put on the sheet, that I was (finally) keeping statistics to help monitor trends in library services and improve as necessary. I've tried to do it for years. I'm now on my third month of doing it for real.

If I compared how productive I have been at the end of the year compared to the beginning of the year, it really would be like night and day. Virtually every moment of my time is taken up in constructive work, rather than flitting from project to project and having trouble finishing anything. It's even been easier to bring some order to my house. I'm still working on the social skills aspect of ADD, but overall my quality of life post-ADDerall/diagnosis has been remarkably better. Woo-hoo!

Plus, I'm not frustrated by having to switch gears in the middle of something anymore. I was able to do a literature search and find several articles and put them into a resident's hand with no trouble at all. I used to have trouble if I had to drop everything and focus on something else instead.

Okay, time to go get my teeth cleaned (oh, joy) and then on to my other job. Happy December!

ADD and obesity--is there a link?

ADDvance - Weight Management Strategies for Adults with ADD (ADHD)

A cool basic libraries FAQ

Libraries FAQ, v. 2.1, part 1/10

A new library blog

OA Librarian

Good news

I just found out that due to a market survey, my grade is being changed, which means starting with the first paycheque of the year I'll be getting a 7% raise. Yipee! That's in addition to our normal raise of 3-3.5% that happens in March. That works out to be about $1.50 more an hour.

I also recently received a raise at my second job. So together, this is really good.

Yesterday I put in for a library job, a job at the place I work my second job, and then today put in an application at a local gas station for a potential third job. Wish me luck in the job hunting. My goal is to be working SOMEWHERE (or group of SOMEWHERES) 40-50 hours per week by the beginning of the year.

And yes, I know I should have done this two years ago.

I'm feeling better

but I'm still going through cough drops like they're candy and occasionally trying to hack up a lung. I'm so stuffy I'm not sleeping well, but otherwise I think the creeping crud is winding down.

On another note, today Cerys and Darius are in the bedroom because the landlords are doing an annual inspection. I haven't had a chance to tackle the closet that suffered so from the air conditioner back up (not my fault, but I get to do the cleanup, and I'm very allergic to mould, so I've put it off). So they may be in for a surprise. The house is looking pretty good, except I need to work on the bedroom and getting clothes out of hampers and into drawers (the problem of using your closets to store books) :). But I did go ahead and take the trash out and vaccuum this morning. It's not like I could sleep anyway. Well, that's enough for now, time to go to work.

An experiment

I'm wearing a watch for the first time in fourteen years. This time last year--right before my carpal tunnel surgery--I couldn't wear anything on my wrists without causing the numbness to get worse. I couldn't feel my own fingertips. Now, a year later, I can pronounce the surgery very successful. Thanks Dr William O'Neill and the team that helped make this possible at Kleinert and Kutz. I highly recommend them.

Today is

For those lost. For those battling it. For those yet to have it.
Remember...and be safe.

(And a thank you to Google for reminding me with their red ribbon.)

Well, I've been putting in applications

at retail places, at UK for clerical jobs, and now a library job and a job at KET for a promotion assistant. I've found that my library career has given me a lot of skills that do translate if you're creative in how you look at things. For example, I've done library marketing along with my writing and editing work (the first published, the second volunteer), so I think I've fulfilled the requirements for the KET job nicely, and one of the UK jobs is also primarily writing and editing, except its for medical and scientific articles. I've also learned a lot about computers and databases along the way, which several jobs require.

Surely someone has got to hire me. Right?

Note to self

This year, when it is time to pack up the library's holiday tree, do not just fold it up and put it in the box with the lights still on it. This is now the second time I've done this, and it's a devil to untangle when you take them back out.

So, I have a nice little tree on my desk with steady and blinking lights, plastic icicles (we're not allowed to have glass for obvious reasons) and ornaments made out of Little Golden Books (a legacy from a previous employee). It's a simple tree but has a nice library theme, and it's very cheerily perched on my desk.

It's been warmer during the day but very windy, the type of wind that just blows right through you. Even though it's technically not winter, we're not far away, and the weather is reflecting that.

I have a lot on my mind regarding some personal issues and my lack of interpersonal skills. I'm a little depressed today as a result. I think I've been annoying my friends far too much by basically being a self-centred git. Must do what I can to salvage that.

That's all for now. Ta.

Am I jinxed?

Let's see, in the last couple of days I have:

• cut the bottom of my foot on glass
  
• gotten the creeping crud of sinus/sore throatness
  
• twisted an ankle
  

It's the turkey spirits, I tell you. :)

Anyway, I'm glad to be going back to work after a really nice time off. Hope your weekend was safe and happy. Now I need to catch up on lots of e-mails and see about decorating the library for the holidays.

In a holiday mood

I actually wound up seeing the movie today. They changed a lot of things; I’m not sure if I’m quite happy with the changes, but I understand most of them. Dumbledore did not seem in character; he was too angry. Mad-Eye Moody was a gem. Cedric Diggory was perfectly cast. The film has its own character separate from the book; there were quite a few suggestive scenes. But all and all I wouldn’t put it up against the book, which is superior. I’ve been re-reading it, and this time the Quidditch World Cup didn’t seem to take forever and the pacing seemed better than I remembered it. I was rather shocked that it cost $28.50 for two tickets and the works. Like I said, it’s been awhile since I went to a movie, and even longer since I treated. But if it’s that bad for a matinee, I’d hate to see what a night showing would have been like. And they wonder why people aren’t going to the cinema as much as the studios would like. It’s much cheaper to rent and watch at home, and you don’t have to worry about being squished in chairs next to a lot of other people or drinks spilling on your stuff. Still, I’m glad I saw it there.

Tonight I finished decorating for the holidays. I have icicle lights and holographic snowflakes in the window, the snowflake lights above the hall entry, a few coloured lights swagging across the divider between my living and dining room, where they’re caught by the mirrored baubles that normally hang there and the mirrors on the paintings that take up one wall to the living room. Instead of buying a tree this year (I usually get a potted Norfolk Virginia pine, which lasts one-three years, but lately I just kill them after the season) I bought a foot-tall aromatic rosemary cone, because one it was cheaper, two I’ve raised rosemary indoors successfully before, and three because it just smells nice. I put a tiny 20 light string on it, and the warmth of the lights causes the room to fill with scent. I got some tiny ornaments and a mini star topper and garland. It looks quite festive despite the small size. I’m thinking about having our Secret Santa party over at my apartment; it’s in good shape after I had all that time off earlier this week.

I think I’m either coming down with a cold or just have really bad sinus drainage bothering my throat. I’ve also had to use my inhaler for the first time in months, about three times in the past twenty-four hours. That’s usually the first sign for me. So I have some Ricola cherry honey drops and I’m hoping it clears up soon. I’ve felt kind of cruddy (like that feeling you get when you’re coming down with a virus) on and off all day, like I might have a low-grade fever but at the same time I’m not warm to the touch. So, I don’t know, I just hope I feel better tomorrow. I’ve also been a little dizzy. Again, it might just be sinus stuff. Let’s hope so.

I went to Meijer hoping to fill out an application, but their computers are down on Saturday nights for maintenance, so it was a no go. Oh well, I’ll just have to go back.

I’ve been thinking about things I’d like for Yule. I didn’t as a rule ask for things as a child; I just thought that was wrong. I did ask for Lincoln Logs at age 13 because my mom had confided that she’d always wanted to play with them. But this year I’m making a list of things I like but wouldn’t normally buy for myself or things I need and may not have the money for them yet.
On the list (in no particular order):

• A digital camera—nothing fancy, just something to play with and it would allow me to post more pictures here. [Update 12/27: Half of the money I got from my mom went for this.]
  
• A DVD player—yeah, I know, they’re getting really cheap. I sometimes feel like the only person on the planet without one. On the other hand, then I’d have to buy DVDs, right? [Update: 12/15 won one in a door prize drawing]
  
• Towels—I own three, none in a set, and none of those hand towels you put out for people to use (of course, that’s only an issue if I ever get visitors).
  
• Bedding (Queen)—I have one set of sheets, which isn’t quite adequate.
  
• >A tyre—I’m down to driving without a spare. [Update 12/27: Half of the money I got from my mom will go for this.]
  
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince--Yes, I’ve read it, but I don’t own it. [Update: 12/27 Got a Joseph-Beth gift card that will go to this.]
  
• An iron/ironing board--I've been told I often look rumpled. [Update 12/22: a friend has offered a long-time loan on his iron/board since he doesn't use them.]
  
• Gloves, hat, and scarf—I seem to wear these out or lose them. Black is nice, as I have a purple coat and a blue one. Although I could probably knit a set for myself, I suppose. [Update 12/9: Got from my Secret Santa, C]
  
• An aquarium light—Mine has died.
  
• Earrings—I have one or two pairs that are still intact. Small or dangly are fine.
  

That’s all I can think of. I have a Secret Santa series of gifts to get and shopping for Christmas, Yule, and Chanukah. I can’t really splurge much, but I should be able to get at least a small gift for each person, without resorting to my all-time low point, when I gave people a labradorite marble for Yule. (Yes, that’s gone down in infamy, let me tell you).

Well, it’s late, so I should wrap up. It’ll be a little weird going back to work after having a whole week off. I’m glad I took the time, though—I’d never taken that much off at once before.

Ah, bliss.

This morning I woke up in a puppy pile, with Cerys cuddled up to me and Darius on top of Cerys, pressed up against me. It was remarkably comfortable, at least for me. Cerys seems somewhat dubious about this bizarre cat who insinuates himself with her at every opportunity.

It was about dawn when I awoke, so when I took Cerys out the sky was a marvelous deep bluish-purple, with the trees in stark silhouette and the marsh reflecting light. The birds were stirring, too, and the morning star and waning moon shone brightly in the sky. It was very beautiful, a time of day I usually miss. I suppose if I had money to burn I would have been up early enough for the post-Thanksgiving sales, but really, who wants to deal with the crowds, and the deals are usually gobbled up absolutely early.

Thanksgiving went very well. It was good to see my family again. My mother had been really worried because they couldn’t reach me earlier this week. At one point she sent John up to Lexington to look for me with food and gas and phone money, but he couldn’t find me. We apparently just missed each other twice. I’d left a message on Sunday that I was coming home and that I couldn’t be contacted until Wednesday, but they didn’t get the message. So like a mom, she worried. Not that I’d wish her to but it’s nice to know people get concerned if they don’t know what you’re up to. Another person forgot I was off work and when I didn’t respond to calls reached another friend who let him know what I was up to. Again, it’s nice to know that if something did happen to me, there’d be a posse of people trying to find me. I really do appreciate it, all of you.

My grandmother gets frailer and frailer with every year, and she struggled to get dinner on the table and actually accepted help, which is rare for her. She’d been up since 6 am cooking. We had a nice visit. I was struck (and she brought it up) that this might be the last Thanksgiving we have together. Her mortality seemed almost palpable. Of course, any of us could die at any moment, but when you’re in your eighties and having trouble getting around, it seems more imminent. Although we’re entirely too much alike in some ways to truly get along on a daily basis, I love her very much and a part of my life would be empty without her. I hope that her death is put off for a long while, but still, I feel a nagging and made sure to tell her I love her and otherwise have a pleasant time where we shared some quality time.

One thing that was different this year is that I partook of the feast fully for the first time in fifteen years, meaning I ate turkey and dressing and giblet gravy. I’ve been eating turkey and chicken very occasionally for a couple of months, having determined that if I were hungry enough I could kill a bird. That was always my guide; I should be responsible for my food, and be willing to kill something for it. I had not shared my renewed meat eating with someone and he’s been razzing me quite a bit. I think he’s looking for farms where they’d let me kill my own chicken or turkey just to prove I would. I haven’t described myself as a vegetarian in awhile, although I was a pesce-vegetarian (I eat fish—I’ve killed fish before) for fifteen years. In my family, chickens were raised and eaten regularly, although I don’t recall ever actually watching someone kill a chicken, although I’ve seen them right after they were killed.

I found myself really contemplating whether or not I could kill a bird last night as I lay awake in bed. I was strangely not sleepy although I’d had very little rest the night before, and I think I only managed to fall asleep because of the BuSpar I take at night. I really imagined the process as graphically as possible—the blood, the noise, etc. I don’t think I could ring a chicken’s neck—that takes skill, and I’d want to kill it as humanely as possible. I could chop the head off, although with my penchant for accidents I’d as likely get my hand or fingers trying to do it (and I suppose some would say it served me right). I do think I could shoot a duck without any real trouble, although of course that’s killing from a distance, so maybe it wouldn’t really count. If this seems really gruesome, just remember that the poultry in neat little packages at the store does come from something alive, something that once had a heart beat, even a modicrum of personality. We’ve become divorced from our food, and even worse, factory farming makes it inhumane how they are treated before they die for our sustenance. I definitely prefer local produce or free-ranging birds if I can get them.

I really examined whether I was rationalising things or if I were thinking them out and coming up with a valid conclusion. In the end I decided the latter. I would follow through with that test if given it, and that would settle it once and for all. Of course, I’m the one who went hysterical for nearly an hour when I accidentally hit a cat (I suppose that means I could eat cats, since I have killed one, right?) So we’ll see. In the meantime, I may continue to eat poultry occasionally, and try to make sure the bulk was humanely raised. I still want to ‘walk gently’ in terms of resources, to use a sort of New Agey term.

That conundrum being settled (at least for now, I may vacillate some more, I often do), back to Thanksgiving itself. My mom gave me some jars of tomatoes and green beans she’d put up this summer, some canned fruit and pinto beans. Then she headed back home to get some rest before working another night shift. I stayed and visited with my grandmother (and her spoiled rotten tiny dog, Beau) until nearly dark. We ate again and that’s when I think I nearly overdid it. I took some pie back home with me and some fruit the church had brought her. Then I headed back to Lexington. Oddly enough I was more relaxed driving back in the dark than I’d been on the way home. I guess there’s always a little trepidation at the thought of family gatherings and whether they’ll go well. But our visit went really well, and I’d gotten down there pretty early and been able to help a little with dinner, so that was good.

Once I got back to Lexington I stopped at a Wal-Mart supercentre (I knew they were open from the circulars in the paper) and filled out their long job application on the gizmo they provided which had an awkward keyboard and trackball, but I eventually got through the thing. I checked the price of new tyres (about $35-80 for my vehicle) and managed to find a pair of pumps with heels I can walk in for about $7 for interviews and black walking shoes that would be good for normal days at work for about $10. My old ones had the sole pulling away, and my dress shoes (if you can call Mary Janes dress shoes) were all scuffed and had lost all cushion and were hurting my feet. I guess they’re both about three years old so new ones were overdue. Finally I got home, but I remained productive.

I went through some job listings last night and got several leads on part-time and full-time work that might help. I figure working a job from about 5pm-11pm several nights a week and Saturday would go a long way to help me financially, plus I really want to be working full-time again (if not in one job, then at least several ?). Tomorrow I think I’ll hit several stores in the area to see if I can apply for seasonal work; they appear to still be hiring.

Last night I watched a mystery on PBS and then straightened up the house quite a bit and attended to the aquarium, which needed a lot of water. I did the dishes, got the recyclables together, and rearranged some things, like putting a light over by the aquarium that I can have shine down on it (my aquarium light has died). I’m having trouble with my clock, which got off of level when I put a nail in the wall below it and now I’m having trouble keeping it running, but I’ll eventually get it going.

I did have a nasty surprise at some point when I stepped on a piece of glass that was inexplicably in the living room. It bled profusely, and I had to get my first aid kit from the car. I managed to bleed on the linoleum and on the carpet. Anyone know how to get blood off carpet? It’s not very much, but I don’t want it to set, either.

Today I’m going to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but beyond that I haven’t made any plans. I’m interested to see what they’ve done with the movie. I’m going to a matinee. I can’t remember the last time I went to the cinema. I feel like I’m being a little indulgent, but one’s got to have a little fun sometime, right? I’m in good shape right now in terms of food, phone, and gas—I went and got that gas card and still have enough for another fill up, plus the trip home didn’t use too much, as it’s only about 45 minutes away, so one movie won’t break the bank, hopefully.

I started writing this at dawn and now the sun is up and shining. I’ll post this when next I’m at a computer with an internet connexion. I wish I could afford to get one; it would help with some of my work and I’m more likely to be on the computer than, say, watch TV. I miss being connected. Insight has some very affordable plans, and if I can get another job (or just get a little more caught up in some of my finances) I might be able to justify getting that and a phone. Having a phone that I can actually chat on without worrying about ploughing through minutes would be great, and of course, useful in the job hunting process. But every time I think I’m at a point to afford it, something else really takes precedence, like medicine, doctor visits, or groceries. ?

Well, I hope your Thanksgiving went well, assuming you celebrate it. I’ll return on Monday. Until then, this is the Rabid Librarian, signing off. It’s time to get going and pick up some medicine before going to the movie. Take care.

By the way

I don't think I'm meant to write a novel in a month. Maybe in a year, but not in a month. I have written on my NaNoWriMo piece throughout the month, but I don't think I'm beyond say 3,000 words out of 50,000. I'm thinking it would probably make a better short story, anyway. But maybe I should stop trying to do this every November.

Still, it is a worthwhile endeavour, and the people who run it are about $10,000 in debt right now, so if you have some money and want to see it go to a good cause, head over their way.

I wonder if there's a T-shirt for most NaNoWriMo attempts without successful completion?

Oh, well, I seriously doubt I'll write enough to make it this year. But a girl can dream. For the rest of you dilligently typing along, good luck and congratulations.

I'm having trouble corpsing

mainly in that when I try to upload my contribution to Exquisite Corpse things keep locking up. Since it's unlikely I'll get it figured out by the time it's due, I went ahead and relinquished my place in the corpse and set it to not playing for the holiday.

Oh, well, at least I'll be able to see the finished one sans my contribution.

Today has been rather pleasant although it's fairly cold and snowflakes come down every few minutes like the sky is spitting them out of a machine that's having trouble getting going.

I'm at the library, of course, and I'm about to make the trip to work to get my cheque. The main problem, of course, is that if I do run out of gas, my phone has no minutes on it, so yes, I can call AAA, but not without walking somewhere and begging the use of a telephone, as I also don't have enough change for a pay phone. Have I mentioned that my hazard lights don't work? Sigh. Oh, well, it will get better. Who knows, I might just make it to where I can get my cheque cashed, at which point I'll have money and be within walking distance of a gas station. :)

Things that have rambled through my mind...

walking here yesterday I noticed that the car lot across the street had taken down all their locust trees. I got to see how dark the stumps were; locust wouldn't even need staining, it's so dark. It was rather sad, though, they were all obviously healthy trees, as the area was littered with their pods. It seemed somehow wrong to have them left behind, especially as they'll not be allowed to grow. But perhaps somewhere new growth will spring up from them. It reminds me of all the white hair I still had on my clothes months after Spock died.

Darius has been very loving whilst I've been off, taking every opportunity to sleep on me that he can. He's very unlike the hiding standoffish cat of years ago. Today he was just purring for a long time; I took awhile to get going because I didn't want to interrrupt him...it's so rare he really all-out purrs.

I just remembered I forgot to take my ADDerall today. Maybe that's why my mind seems to be going in lots of directions at once.

The main song I'm listening to these days is Alanis Morissette's cover of 'Crazy'. I don't know why, I just like it better than Seal's, maybe because I can actually understand the words better. Not that they're supposed to make much sense, of course. I tend to agree that in the world today we're all a little crazy, or ought to be. Anything else is just too boring.

What else? Well, I can't really think of anything right now. Just wanted to check in. I think I'll do a bit of book browsing and then head into work where hopefully I'll get there without any nasty interruptions. :)

I'm on vacation

so I don't have ready access to the Internet, but I did walk over to the library this morning to post, mainly because I've been over 24 hours without human contact and was starting to get a little stir crazy.

The only bad thing about taking off is yes, I have time to do stuff, but I don't have any gas or money, so I'm pretty much stuck at home. I did go to the game on Sunday thanks to B, who gave me a ride. We're ramping up to trying to prevent (another) apocalypse, this time with one of her characters threatening to go to the bad, and we're doing what we can to keep that from happpening, but so far we've been marching slowly towards it.

So what have I been doing at home? Actually a bit of cleaning, some writing and work for distance learning, a lot of sleeping, and I'm re-reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in anticipation of seeing the movie soon.

Tomorrow will be busy because I get paid and I'm going to try to get my paycheque, pay my electricity, and pay some other debts. I can't pick up the cheque until 2 and of course many places will close early due to the impending holiday. My car's gone 32 miles on the gas light (the longest I've let it go), which gives me a certain amount of trepidation, although I do have AAA Plus, so if I run out of gas they'll bring me some. Still, I'd rather not do that because you only get 4 breakdowns a year and I've already had two flat tyres in the last month. :) I don't think the Plus gives you any more service calls, but just affects what they'll do when called. Which reminds me, I need to pick up the AAA gas card that let's you save four percent on gas and other purchases at one of our local station franchises before I fill up for Thanksgiving's trip home to see everyone. At least gas has been under $2 lately. I had a little less money to play with because the AAA membership is coming out of November's pay, so that's the main reason I came down to just having a few cents after paying my rent. But tomorrow's cheque should help me get going again.

Well, if I can I'll post again tomorrow. The library is one of those things that close early, but I may come over in the morning again. If not, and you do celebrate Thanksgiving, happy holiday. And if not, and you're wondering where the Rabid Librarian is, that's why the posts will be spotty this week.

Happy Birthday to D!

Here's a wish for health and happiness in the coming year.

Sad

Teasing and taunting led girl to end her life - 3/7/01

This story came up in a forum I was reading. I hadn't heard about it, mainly because I'm not plugged into much of the Wiccan or neo-Pagan sites.

Those of us who choose Paganism as a religion often feel like outsiders already. For a child who was trying to feel her way into adulthood, I can see where her religion and dress were both ways of expressing something inside and also that which marked her as different, liable for taunts and worse. The Tempest Smith case brings up a lot of questions about bullying, about tolerance for other faiths, about depression in youth, and about the loss that happens in the confluence of all of these.

Remembering the Tempest Smiths of the world might help bring us to greater tolerance though. I hope so, anyway.

The fate of medical libraries?

Library Journal has this article by Cheryl R. Banick about the need to market our libraries and prevent the dissolution and reductions being seen today.

Okay, there are a lot of broken links

but this is my starting point for some of those ancient history links. http://eawc.evansville.edu/essays/grpage.htm.
So I'm saving it for future reference. I also found this collection of Greek authors.

A friend and I had a discussion the other night about passion, and he pointed out there is nothing I'm absolutely passionate about, and I have to agree. But the past, the study of history, people, and languages...that comes closest of all. Still, I think he'd say, and again, he's probably right, that like books and food, I find the past comforting and surround myself with it more from a need for security rather than true passion.

I have to admit, the fact that I am so detached emotionally from the stuff of life is worrisome to me, and I'd like to fall right head over hills in love or evoke strong emotions for something I love, but I can't. I don't know if that's built-in or learnt. But it is something I hope to change. Ironically, I love Romantic literature, pre-Raphaelite art and Art Nouveau, things that drink very deeply of that sort of passion. But I'm not sure anymore if I really 'get' it, or if I just enjoy it intellectually. Also ironically, I have trouble controlling my emotions and yet overcontrol them as well. Sigh. Maybe someday I can just live for living's sake and not worry about why I'm doing something.

Oooohhh!

The Prehistory of the Aegean

This is a wonderful resource

for understanding the context and arguments of the great philosophers. It's sort of a 'Cliff Notes' for philosophy.

The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy

A nice article about the Eleusinian Mysteries

The Eleusinian Mysteries by Edward A. Beach

Useful link for librarians serving nurses

National League For Nursing - Nursing Education Perspectives: Essential Nursing References

Also in my e-mail bag

The Obesity Action Coalition, a non profit patient organization dedicated to educating those affected by obesity, has produced resources for patients who suffer from diabetes and obesity. Patients can visit the OAC Web site at www.obesityaction.org to learn more about the relationship between diabetes and obesity in addition to discovering the various treatments. To visit the “Diabetes” section on the OAC Web site, please visit http://www.obesityaction.org/resources/oacnews1/obesityrelateddiseases.php.

They combine advocacy (they're currently working at changing potentially discriminating policies at Wal-Mart against obese associates) with trying to provide ways to be healthy and happy.

Here is their mission statement:

The Mission of the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC) is to elevate and empower those affected by obesity through education, advocacy and support.
Obesity impacts one in four Americans. It is estimated that more than 93 million Americans are obese, with that number predicted to rise to 120 million in the next five years.

The OAC aims to educate patients, family members and the public on obesity and morbid obesity. In addition, the OAC will increase obesity education, work to improve access to medical treatments for obese patients, advocate for safe and effective treatments and strive to eliminate the negative stigma associated with all types of obesity.

By building a coalition of members ranging from patients and their family members to healthcare professionals, the OAC and its members will focus national attention on obesity; organize all those concerned as advocates for action, advances and change; and visibly effect and impact the healthcare community and the public.

A book ad I received that sounds interesting

Full Circle
Escape from Baghdad and the Return
by Saul Silas Fathi

"Our parents were risking their lives to try to save Yeftah's and mine. There had been no other choice for them. Staying in Baghdad could mean that we would witness our father's hanging since he had been falsely accused of treason against the Iraqi government. He was accused not only of being a Zionist but also of being a Communist, just as every other wealthy and prominent Jew here had been labeled. Being thus accused was a double insult in the eyes of the citizenry. One charge offended their nationalism; the other, their religion. It was sure to arouse the hatred and outrage of the entire Muslim population."

Full Circle: Escape from Baghdad and the Return
is currently available for sale
Library Of Congress # 2005 904 147
Hard Cover (ISBN # 1-4134-9459-5) U.S. $38.95 (Canada $49.95)
Soft Cover (ISBN # 1-4134-9458-7) U.S. $28.95 (Canada $37.95)
(Contains over 630 pages, plus over 90 photos)
Order from www.saulsilasfathi.com
Copyright 2004 Saul Silas Fathi

About the Author
Saul Silas Fathi was born to a prominent Jewish family in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 8, 1938. At age 10, he and his younger brother were smuggled out of Baghdad through Iran and eventually reached the newly formed state of Israel. He continued his travels to Brazil and later to the United States. In 1960, Saul volunteered to serve in the U.S. Army, having been promised a college education and U.S. citizenship at the conclusion of his duties. At the University of Virginia, Saul earned a Bachelor of Science degree in electrical engineering and went on to work as a high-level executive with several Fortune-500 companies. Later, he founded and managed three high-tech companies of his own over a 20-year period. Today, he lives in Long Island, New York, with his wife Rachelle and has three U.S.-born daughters and one granddaughter.

I'm feeling wonkier as the day progresses

I think it's the weather, because I ache and my head hurts, and we just had a line of thunderstorms go through with a cold front behind it, plunging from the 70s to 40s during the day. I've got a lot accomplished today in spite of that, but I just don't feel well. On the other hand, I've talked to one person today who's facing a biopsy and another whose brother has cancer and has been given 5 months to live. So I really don't have much cause to go whigning in the grand scheme of things.

I paid my rent today. I'm broke, and it'll be a little hard this coming week before payday, but at least that's in. Now let's just hope the electricity stays on until I get paid and nothing awful crops up, right?

An upcoming event at the University

Via the Kentucky Literature Newsletter...

Fri Nov 18 -- University of Kentucky -- Scottish Literature Symposium and Exhibition, 9:00a.m til 4:00p.m. Lectures by Gurney Norman (9.30am: “Archetypal Scotland”); Professor Patrick Scott, University of South Carolina (10.00am: “Robert Burns and America ”); Professor Ian Duncan, University of California at Berkeley (2.00pm: What was Scottish Romanticism?”); and Charlotte Fairlie, Wilmington College (11.00am: “Teaching Scottish Literature”). Also an exhibition of rare books and manuscripts by Robert Burns, Sir Walter Scott, James Hogg, Robert Louis Stevenson, J. M. Barrie, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and many more. To be held at UK Special Collections (M.I. King Library) and the Niles Gallery, Little Fine Arts Library. For details contact Univ of Ky Special Collections (859-257-8611) or Department of English (859-257-2901). Open to the public and admission free.

I need to give Gurney Norman back a book, and this would be a perfect opportunity But, unfortunately I'd have to take off from work to go. Well, it is a thought...I have plenty of PTO. Hmmmmm...

Sorry I didn't post yesterday

I was finishing up the catalogue (yay!) and preparing for a meeting today. Other things I've been up to:

Applying online to several companies for a third part-time job. I've already received one offer for an interview and one rejection. But, I did some digging into the place wanting an interview and it turned out to be Vector Marketing/Cutco knives. I really don't think that 1) I want to sell knives 'door-to-door' so to speak, 2) that I want to get into such a controversial multi-level management scheme, and 3) that I have the resources to make money there (I'd have to deposit money for the sample set, plus I don't have a home phone to make cold calls with). Anyway, I thanked them but bowed out before going any further. Try putting their names into a Google Search and you'll get tons of negative reactions to the company and also lots of die-hard supporters. I don't have enough friends and family to alienate over a set of knives, thank you.

What else? Last night I watched Tyra Banks' show where she put on a fat suit to be 350 lbs and got to see how differently people treated her. It was a little touchy-feely and one girl just brought the show to a careening halt by interrupting the other woman to talk about herself, but otherwise it was well done. They brought in a store clerk who treated her the same and a bevy of guys she went on blind dates with, too. As a fat woman I didn't learn anything new but it was interesting to watch the experiment. I'm still processing some of the emotions it dredged up. I really do think my weight impedes me in finding a successful career, and it certainly affects and is affected by my self-esteem. The women they had on the show were all attractive and done up nicely, which frankly a lot of fat women (including me) don't bother with all the time. If you get a chance to watch it, it's worth watching.

Today is payday for the second job and I'll see if I have enough for my rent. In the meantime I'm trying to spend next to nothing and I'm eating lots of peanut butter sandwiches.

That's it for now. I'm almost ready for my meeting, the last possibly of our consortium before we fold into a larger organisation with another consortium for a truly state-wide medical library consortium. I'm also going to demonstrate the catalogue and maybe share some of the historical books and scrapbooks I discovered when I did the cataloguing. Take care.

Oh, yes, this is SO me. :)

I am Mr Do. I am sedentary by nature, enjoying passive entertainment, eating when the mood takes me, and playing with my food. I try to avoid conflict, but when I'm angered, I can be a devil - if you force me to fight, I will crush you. With apples. What Video Game Character Are You?

Remembrance Day

Or Veteran's Day, as we call it here in the States. A time to remember those who fought and who gave their lives (or lived, and were forever changed by their experiences). Those of you who have read this blog for awhile know that I am anti-war but pro-military, having been raised in the Air Force and related to veterans of the First Gulf War, Vietnam, WWII, the Civil War, and the Revolutionary War. For them, and for all those who fought for the freedom we enjoy, I take a day to remember. It's not much to ask, is it?

In Flanders Fields by John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

For more information about McCrae and his poem, check out this page from The Heritage of the Great War. Image of the wild red poppy courtesy of www.cepolina.com/freephoto/.

It's good that they can tell sooner, but it'll be controversial

assuming a woman can even get the test in her area or approved by an insurer.

Test detects Down syndrome in first trimester

I don't know how I would feel about getting a positive test for Down's. I'm of an age now that the chances of having a child with Down's is roughly 1 in 100. That's a scary thought. And of course, everyone wants a perfectly healthy baby. I generally wouldn't have an abortion, although I support a woman's choice and the availabilty of safe ways to terminate a pregnancy. Down's is a sticky situation, because, yes, it is a disorder with a lot of ramifications--retardation and heart disease among others--but it isn't on the scale of say, the rare baby born without a working brain or similar catastrophic case. Children with Down's are loving people who can often function at quite a high level, especially given early intervention. I just don't know how I feel, and I can only hope I'm never in that situation. At least at the moment I'm not in any danger. ;) Still, for those looking for more information, this test could really help, especially in terms of deciding whether more invasive tests are warranted.

Yay!

Thanks to the Colorado Psycho, I was able to regenerate my original Rabid Librarian image, and now that Blogger is hosting images, I can bring it back. So, after far too long away, here's the Rabid Librarian in all her glory.

I heard this last night for the first time

and really liked the music first, then the lyrics just really drew me in so I did a search on the lyrics today. It's apparently one of the songs from the movie Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (the movie based on the book by the same name).

It's Natasha Bedingfield's 'Unwritten'

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,
but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah