I have a horrible headache

but I've taken some ibuprofen, so hopefully it will recede soon. Despite that, it's been a pretty decent day. It was in the 60s and sunny, I had on a nice top and got several compliments--including from YKWIA, which means a great deal, and I got a permanent crown and my partials adjusted, so I'm more likely to wear them. Then I helped a friend with a project, wished another one a happy birthday, and now I'm home and although it's not even 9:30, I'm seriously considering calling it a night. It was a very busy weekend, you see, so I'm ready to catch up on some sleep.

Saturday YKWIA and I watched a really fun movie called The World's End. Here's the trailer:



Sunday I helped wash three dogs, cleaned the house in preparation for the Cthulhu game, played a lovely game of investigating in an Aegyptian murder mystery with strange idols, tombs, etc., and then bounced up and down in the last few seconds of the University of Kentucky vs. University of Michigan game, which Kentucky won, so A is really happy about them going to the Final Four.

Today after the dentist I watched the gaming convention episodes of 'The Guild' with YKWIA and then helped him with a oouple of things.

Okay, I think I'm going to go into the other room, put my feet up, and see if I can go on to bed. Have a good night.

So sad, and some comfort

Found in Mud: Precious Links to Loved Ones

Gently, Dayn Brunner reached into the mangled car and lifted his younger sister’s lifeless body out of the driver’s seat and onto a waiting tarp. For almost a week, he and his teenage sons had slogged through the muddy catacomb of what had once been a neighborhood, scouring the pulped homes and broken earth for some sign of her. Now, it was time to say goodbye and wait for the helicopter to take her away.

“We cried together, and we moved her over,” he said.

But before they could go, Mr. Brunner, 42, turned back to the blue Subaru to salvage a few of the things that his sister Summer Raffo, 36, had carried with her on her final drive through the valley. He found a horse halter — she had loved to ride and breed horses. Her wallet. Her checkbook. A few packets of honey from KFC stashed in the glove compartment. He tucked them away.

Up and moving today

I'm going over to A's about 2:30 to take him to the store, but in the meantime I'm up and washing dishes and straightening up the apartment. I've also changed two light bulbs, as the last one went out over the bed in a flash and I didn't want to wait until later because it's already gloomy and rainy outside, so it'll be worse when it's dark. I have a friend who is nervous about changing any light bulb. I don't have that trouble, but balancing on the bed while standing is not the easiest thing for me, and I'd rather not break something because I was trying to change a light bulb. So it's best to do while I'm refreshed and have as much light as possible. :)

And I am refreshed--I slept really well last night, and probably was asleep by 11 pm and woke up a little after 9 am and finally got out of bed about ten. Right after breakfast (the rest of my tuna sandwich from Subway yesterday) I loaded and started the dishwasher, did the handwash dishes (there weren't many, unlike last time), straightened up in the living room, kitchen, and bathroom, got the stuff that came out of the car (the backup CPAP, the reusable tote bags, and the air mattress) put up. Next is to sort through and put away laundry, but my back was hurting, so I thought I'd take a break. So I'm listening to the Rick Dees weekly top 40 countdown and checking on some things online. A should be in a good mood today--his Wildcats won against the Cardinals last night and will be progressing in the NCAA men's basketball tournament.

Okay, I've heard the top song for the week. It's Lorde's 'Team', which is the second #1 off her debut album, which doesn't happen often. And she's not even eighteen yet! Okay, time to get up and do some things.

In some ways

I'm still the fat little kid on the playground doing anything to make the other children like me, only I'm doing it in a world of adults where they just care about getting things done and other grown-up issues. So I admitted after talking to YKWIA today. Even after all these years, I'm still pretty insecure, and although it normally doesn't happen, the fact is that sometimes I react to that perceived rejection just like I did when I was a kid. So that's something to work on.

I feel much better today. One of the people involved talked to me about it and it was clear that all of us shared some blame for things not running all that smoothly, and there was some miscommunication. I felt better afterwards. Ironically, the whole thing that was time-sensitive in the first place wound up being cancelled.

Anyway, I managed to catch up at work today, and then I took my friends to Coba Cocina, a restaurant here in Lexington, for their anniversary. I then went to a comic store and picked up a couple of the latest issue of Sandman: Overture (there were two covers). I ate at Subway and then went to Gabriel Brothers and found a couple of bras, a dress, a backpack purse, socks, and a blouse for very little, really. The bras, for example, were Lane Bryant's brand, but were only $4.99 (normally about $30 or so). I really needed something off-white, so it was nice to find some. I really like the dress, and it was $13. It's a pretty summery dress in cool tones of blue, green, and purple with an asymmetric hem and lavender lining. The blouse is lacy and flowery, white with pink flowers. So all in all, it went well. I probably had no business going there given how stressed I was over money yesterday, though.

I went to get them, took them on a very abbreviated grocery run for some essentials, and got them home. One had had some sangria. He's such a happy drunk. He grabbed some things from the car because they were shiny (a bracelet, a dangling crystal, and my purple phone charger), lost the house briefly, went inside, and apparently fell asleep immediately, only to give them to the other as a present later. (I got a phone call checking to make sure I got home and thanking me for my help in making the evening a nice one.) A has put them somewhere safe so dogs don't chew them up. I just shook my head. A is going to go watch the University of Kentucky-University of Louisville game (along with most people in our state, for that matter).

I've taken my medicine, propped myself up in bed, and I'm listening to Passenger's All the Little Lights. I've got the fan on, which feels very nice on my feet. The only thing that could make things better would be a cat curled up with me, but alas, there is none. I checked the other day and the little cat Nedra that spent so many months at the shelter is gone. I hope she found a good home. I don't really regret not getting her--I think I'm just not ready for pets beside fish right now. But I hope someone cares about her and takes care of her well.

Okay, I think I'm going to sign off for now. I'm so glad it's Friday. Hope you have a good weekend. Good night.

Up in the middle of the night, briefly

Having given my libation to Hekate. I feel emotionally better than I did earlier. Building up a civilisation on a simulation game like Civilization IV helped. So did a little comfort food, although I tried not to go overboard on that. I also listened to an album, Bastille's Bad Blood, which was the only thing from the radio that I was taking comfort in. I guess that it just had to pass. I had a mild version of the 'emotional storms' I used to have, where I felt like just running away or driving really fast and exiting out of life. I'm on my medicine, everything's been rather smooth lately, with no disturbance in mood. But my menstrual cycle sometimes plays havoc with my lability. I've got to expect issues occasionally, I suppose, and ride it out, but if it happens again within a short time I'll seek help. This time it wasn't right before my period (I have a diagnosis of pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder), but rather during. There's some stressors in my life right now that generally don't bother me, but lots of little things are weighing me down, I suppose. And the dental work and the havoc it's causing to my schedule is part of the problem. It seems to be never-ending. And I wouldn't have had the issue come up that broke the camel's back and caused me to cry like a little girl if I hadn't been gone most of yesterday morning and this morning, because it would have been taken care of in a more timely fashion. So the appointments, despite all my efforts, did affect my work. Still, I had to have the dental work. The partials themselves are also a stressor, as I'm still having issues eating with them and talking with them, and have to be careful putting them in or it can get pretty annoying. I am having a much harder time adapting to them than I thought I would.

And it's expensive. I'm already paying on about $2700 from my care plan, plus I paid $400 for the root canal the other day (thankfully, from my flexible spending card on the latter), and I'm not sure how much I'll owe the endodontist. My dental insurance, while better in some ways than the one we've traditionally had, has some major limitations compared to my health insurance. The last couple of weeks I've pretty much paid bills from my bank account and did day to day living from a credit card, which isn't ideal. I have the credit, that's not the problem. But I don't want to get to the point where I'm snowed under. And I have someone in my life who still owes me over $3,000 who hasn't even made any effort to start paying it back. That's a stressor, too. I feel that I was there for him when he needed me, but I've barely spoken to him or had any interaction with him of late, and in fact, I rather think he's avoiding me. If I bring up the money at all, he tries to make me feel guilty for saying anything.

I'm just struggling to keep a balance, and I'm burning up almost all of my PTO with my doctor's visits and the upcoming trip to Chicago, and never actually seem to have time for anything fun. Well, Chicago should be fun, but it's also work. But I couldn't afford an extra day, so it's fly up one day and come back the next. I would have liked to taken off for my friends' anniversary tomorrow, but at least I'll be able to get them to their dinner date after work. There's no way I can take my birthday off this year, even though it's during the local school system's spring break and things will be slow. At the rate I'm going, I may not be able to take any day off except for assigned holidays. It's a little depressing. I think I may try to go in tomorrow somewhat early to make up a bit for all the time I missed this week, so my PTO doesn't take a terrible hit. I'm struggling just to try to maintain the 24 hours minimum required in case you get sick. I'm usually about 15 hours lately, even though I accrue about 10 a pay period. I have plenty of extended-illness bank, the one I can't touch until the fourth day of being sick, despite draining a lot off that with my ankle surgery a couple of years ago. That bounced back rather quickly. But the PTO is a struggle, and I think the lack of a vacation is starting to wear me down. Maybe Chicago will help, with a change in location, anyway. And my boss finally thinks he has a backup for me in case I ever want to take more than a day or two off at a time.

Okay, I'm bordering on whinging, so I'm going to stop now. But I do feel better than I did earlier. Things will work out. Today when I was driving and felt an overwhelming sense of distress, I breathed my way through it and got home quickly and took care of myself emotionally. Years ago I would have really struggled with dealing with emotional distress. Thankfully, my dialectical behavioural therapy still works. :)

This helped after what can only be described as a 'Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day'

From the Superhero Name Generator:

My superhero name is:

The Aqua Mistress

Abandoned as a child, you grew up with an affinity for water - and then, you discover that you are the long-lost ruler of the underwater kingdom of Atlantis! Now you must fight for control of the world's oceans, while also protecting humanity from evil! Aquatic Powers - You can breathe underwater, swim at incredible speeds, and communicate with undersea life! Now, you protect The Mystical City of Upak-Na from graffiti artists, while also battling the evil plans of Il Zuko!

Thanks to Grace for sharing it on Facebook. It brought a smile to my face. Only two other things have been good today:

1. I got gas for $3.42 per gallon when the rest of town had gone up to $3.75, thanks to Speedway being a little slow to change and my Speedy card, which was good, as I was almost on empty.
2. A friend called me early this morning to relay a conversation he had with his husband, who is incurably blond:
   • A: You know, I've always wished I'd taken time during school to do a year abroad.
   • YKWIA: Oh?
   • A: Yes, I've always wanted to see Nantucket.

To which, I said, 'So, did you tell him Nantucket is in Massachusetts?', and YKWIA said, 'No, I just put my face down into my pillow and screamed.' We think he is under the delusion that it is abroad because it's an island (I'm sure he knows that from the TV show 'Wings') and so you have to go over water to get to it. Mind you, this is the same man who thought oxen were large, mythical blue creatures and did not know that there were the normal, common variety farm type at all. I am doing my best to share both stories with co-workers and others to brighten their day.

Mine started with the endodontist appointment. It was two hours before I got back to the chair, for which they apologised.At least two people came in after me and left before I got back. But that didn't bother me too much, for I'm pretty patient. I was just worried about all the time I was missing from work, with very little head's up to my bosses, neither of which I had had a chance to talk with about going that morning. The doctor couldn't make headway with the tooth, either, so she drilled a hole on the temporary crown and put some material in the tooth that will soften the calcification. I'm still just a bit numb from the Novocaine, which was given about 7 1/2 hours ago. I even had to have a shot in my palate, which stung a bit, but at least they'd numbed my gums. I then went to work, getting there about 12:15 (missing almost four hours) where I played catch-up all day and never quite made it. Fortunately I should be able to tomorrow. The day ended with me crying over something that happened, and while I realise I am somewhat hormonal and at least didn't get defensive or break down at the time, even though I suspect someone threw me under the bus, so to speak. I merely apologised for my part of the problem, rectified it, and then held it together until I was off work. But I decided it was time to call it quits, went ahead and packed up my things and left about 10 minutes early, crying as soon as I reached the parking lot. It's been a very, very long time since that has happened, and I'm embarrassed to admit that it did, but frankly, my tolerance for problems had been exhausted for the day.

Then I went to the pharmacy to fill the endodontist's prescriptions, pick up some pen needles, and get a friend's medications for him. I stopped by Kroger and got a few things, and then got the gas and picked up a bottle of wine for my monthly libation. I did not go see my friends, because even though I would probably feel better, I doubt I'm great company at the moment. But the one just called asking me to drop off his medicine tonight. So I will. But then I'm coming home and the plan is to pretty much stay in for the night. I'm tempted to just go on to bed, but I feel that would be letting my mood win. So instead I'm going to try to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening.

I am convinced that, as YKWIA put it, I have mutant teeth (or, the dental saga continues...)

So last week when they did my crown prep they found a tooth had decay that apparently did not show up on the x-ray and they scheduled a root canal for this morning. Unfortunately, all did not go smoothly. This tooth has three roots (being an upper molar) and while two canals were able to be taken care of, one is totally calcified shut. This means that tomorrow I will be going to a specialist called an endodontist, who should have special tools to open up the canal and take care of the rest of the procedure. I found out I had a 9:15 am appointment at 4:50 pm today, so I e-mailed my bosses and hopefully everything will be fine. I am getting tired of going to the dentist and each time something else is amiss. I've been lucky in terms of no horrendous complications, but it's still frustrating. Today they had to just put the temporary crown back on even though it didn't exactly fit anymore due to the drilling, and they told me to chew on the other side as much as possible and they'd try to get me in to the specialist quickly, which, of course, they did do. There is no one in my insurance plan within 40 miles who practices endodontics, so I had to call my insurance company and request a pre-authorisation to see this out-of-network specialist, which they did give readily, at least. Sigh. Please tell me this will be over soon. I'm not thrilled by dental visits when everything goes right, much less when there seems to be layers and layers of problems out there. Yet we want to save this tooth because it will help the stability of the partial denture--which I'm still trying to get used to, as there have been some issues in having to adjust them so I can wear them properly. YKWIA thinks I have gotten myself locked into bad dentistry. I don't know about that. I did chastise the dentist this morning for not numbing my gums before shooting them with Novocaine. Maybe some people don't care about it, and I won't say it was unbearable without it, but he should have at least asked, don't you think? It's not like they didn't do that all the other times I've been there. :(

As an aside, YKWIA discovered while searching for calcification in teeth that one thing that can contribute to it is a disorder called ankylosing spondylitis, something I was vaguely familiar with, as it comes up at work (I work in a paediatric orthopaedic hospital). Not to sound like a complete hypochondriac, but looking at the symptoms, it might be something to ask my doctor about, as it involves chronic pain, especially in the back and sacroiliac joint, as well as in other joints, etc., etc. That's obviously vague, and those symptoms could be caused by other things, such as degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, or fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome (I have the first in my neck, the second in most of my joints, and fibromyalgia as well). But my back hasn't been imaged in 20 years except for my cervical area. I've had SI issues and some of the other listed symptoms, but sometimes things like this could be difficult to diagnose or have other co=morbid diagnoses. But it might be good to have it checked out because in rare cases it can affect the eyes and organ tissue as well. But it would be weird if I did test positive for the blood tests, was diagnosed, and it was all because of a blocked place in a tooth, wouldn't you say? Still, the fact that canals calcify with age may be the simpler reason.

Okay, tomorrow comes early. Off to bed I go, Good night.

Awwww....

This dog, who is not allowed to be on the bed, was secretly recorded while the human was away. The result is priceless....

I can't believe they did this (again)!

Copenhagen Zoo kills 4 lions, weeks after shooting giraffe

Two of those were young lions that were not old enough to survive by themselves and would have been killed by the new male lion if it had the chance, Bro told CNN. He said the zoo had tried to place them elsewhere, "but unfortunately there wasn't any interest."

The other two are the youngsters' parents, described by the Copenhagen Zoo as a "very old" breeding pair. The new male lion was brought from Givskud Zoo, also in Denmark, to form a breeding group with the Copenhagen Zoo's two 18-month-old females, born on site in 2012.

Listening to:

Robert Burns' 'Rigs o' Barley' as sung by Paul Giovanni (as 'Corn Rigs') in the lovely film The Wicker Man (the original, with Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, and Britt Ekland, from 1973). I finally broke down and bought the album, also owning the VHS, the DVD, and the book. :)