No Friday Five this week, but

• It's sunny.
  
• It's Friday.
  
• It's supposed to be in the 60s this weekend. (I'm ready for spring!)
  
• I'm getting paid at KET today.
  
• Someone was really sweet to me yesterday. He took me out for Thai food and gave me a beautiful purple crystal vase for libations. He really can't help with the financial situation, but he helped me so much in terms of comfort and giving me some hope, and encouraging me on. He is like my brother, and a true friend.
  
• Not long ago, Dwana gave me a thank you card that was very touching. She is a true friend. Whenever I feel lost and alone, I take it out and look at it.
  
• One of my co-workers, when I was worrying about calling my mom and asked her how she feels as a parent in such a situation, said two things that really helped. One--she'd rather know what was going on and hopefully soon enough to be of help, rather than put off until it's a crisisl, like I've done, and that her husband had always said that if it's a problem that money can solve, it was never really a problem. And in the grand scheme of things, that's right. I have health. I have family. I have pets. I have people who love me. And I'm trying to get to a point where I have the stability to flourish.
  
• I called my mom this morning about the eviction. She's going to help me out. I hate that I've now transferred most of my stress to her. I so want a job that will allow me to take care of my responsibilities, and maybe even repay her for all she's done.
  
• I may be able to get my computer working at home tonight...I know what's wrong. That would be good, as I have four jobs to apply for!
  
• I am so blessed to not be alone and to have such loving people in my life. I've felt recently that my life has gotten out of kilter. Despite the financial stresses, I had been managing much better than in the past, whether financially, emotionally, whatever. The layoff could have been much worse--at least I have my benefits, and I'm not entirely destitute. But the last few weeks--I suppose because the unemployment was a sort of safety net will be yanked away soon--I really do feel like I'm out on a wire, and it's been paralysing. I've been fighting not to fall into depression again, to not feel worthless, and it's taking a toll. I know cognitively that I shouldn't lose self-esteem or feel like a failure. But I've never quite mastered the trick of distancing myself from my emotions without dissociating entirely, and that won't help in this case, either. I could go on with my head in the sand rather than running around like Chicken Little, but the world would come crashing down around me anyway.
  

...so, that's a lot to be happy about. But despite the fears, there's a lot of hope, too, thanks to my supporters. Thank you all.