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Sorry I didn't write in yesterday. I was busy with work and then ran some errands with friends and helped them set up some stuff. Once I got home, my computer crashed (again). Hopefully that's temporary.

I'm a little blue. The computer was just the third bit of bad news last night. Yesterday I found out that the Lexington Public Library position has been filled. That's the only one of the ones I've applied for over the last few months that I've interviewed for. The good news is I have a new batch of about five jobs that have opened up around the area in my field. And of course, I'm at a point where I'm looking in all sorts of fields.

But it's a little disheartening. The state and city have very few jobs of any sort available. I'm thinking of picking up hours with a temp agency to help make ends meet. And Dwana passed along a research assistant possiblity that's about 10 hours a week.

Oh, and I have I mentioned that my unemployment runs out in a couple of weeks and as far as I know, the federal government has decided that they're not going to do any extensions because the oeconomy is getting better? I so want another administration in charge.

Meanwhile, I got a notice to pay my rent by Tuesday or be evicted. Ironically, I get paid on Thursday, and we're getting a $225 bonus in pay to make up for the fact we're not getting raises this year.

I got my performance review, which was great, and in another year I would have gotten my full raise. Even though it doesn't translate into money, I'm glad, because it means I'm doing a good job even with the challenges of the reduction in hours, and I'm past the point of having lots of doctor's appointments eating into my personal time off or my health causing me to miss work. I also got the results in from the library needs assessment and the resources and services were scored very highly, especially in terms of my interaction with the patrons.

So, I'm trying to think somewhat positively. I'm trying to not be totally depressed--I need to fight it, because I need to act, no matter how overwhelmed I feel. I need to see if I can come up with the money. I have a paycheque coming from KET before then, albeit a small one, have some receipts to send in for reimbursement on medicines, and have a couple of avenues to fall back on. My friends are in no position to help, and I'm not sure about my family--I dread asking my mom, because she's done so much already, and I'm nearly 37, after all, but I don't want to be living in my car, either, especially with a small herd of animals.

I feel like I need a spider with a large vocabulary spinning over my head 'Hire her! She'll work hard! She's got talent! She's SOME librarian!' Hmm...I guess that makes me a pig trying not to get slaughtered. Yeah, that's sort of how I feel, actually.

I know it will get better, nor is it as bad as it could be. But part of me wants to just curl up into a ball, you know?