I could have easily died tonight

I was coming back from getting my friend from work, had dropped him off, and was mainly concerned with getting home with my gas light on empty. I was driving down Man O'War road (a big circle on the outskirts of Lexington, one I live right off of) in the rain, when a fire department ambulance came out of one of the side roads as I was very, very close to the intersection already.

I didn't have time to brake gently, and if I went right on through we could have collided. So I broke hard, but they locked, and it sent me into a wide 270-degree spin in the middle of the intersection, going into the oncoming side (there were no cars coming, thankfully), and I narrowly avoided hitting the median on the way back to my side of the road. The ambulance waited for me to start back up again and show I was okay by moving back the other sixty degrees, and then went on.

I shook the rest of the way home. I'm glad A wasn't in the car. He would have utterly freaked, and I'd rather if I died in an accident not to take anyone with me--and YKWIA would never forgive me. I have to admit I did alright at the time--it was just afterwards where I was a bit of a wreck, but I managed to hold it together until I got home. I parked the car and could not get out of it soon enough.

I'm going to curl up in my unmoving bed and go to sleep. It's not 100% safe (storms could rip the building up around me, I suppose, or a car could crash through) but those are so infinitesimal in probability, I'm willing to take my chances. Good night.

I'm being thwarted by rain (and my own laziness)

I took today off from the hospital so I could conserve what little gas I have until I can buy some more tomorrow morning. Hoping to get some rest, blog, and clear a space for yoga in the living room, I didn't tell anyone other than my boss about being off.

Well, I did get plenty of rest. I woke up at 11:30 am (after going to bed at 4:30 am). I did blog a little. And I did work on the living room, but between the gentle rain outside and eating lunch, I got sleepy and went back to bed for a couple of hours. I don't have to be at the store for work until 4 pm, but still, there's not a lot of time to finish clearing the living room floor and shower/get ready for work. But I'll do what I can and then maybe finish Friday (tomorrow I work both jobs, 10 am-10 pm, so that probably won't work, unless I get up early in the morning).

Still, I feel like I've recharged a little. The next week I have work or doctor's appointments on every afternoon except Sunday, which is when we play the game. This was my best chance to have some 'me' time for awhile.

I love Irish music. This isn't it.

'Danny Boy' by the Muppets


I am not a fan of 'Danny Boy'; I think it's treacle. Give me a jig with pipes and bodhran or a lovely ballad instead. But this is quite possibly the worst rendition I have ever heard--and the funniest.

Want a look at the new trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince?

Check out the BBC's site. It's just been released.

Yay, no getting someone at 3 am!

Last night I was going to blog, but I fell asleep in front of the computer instead--and now I'm starting to do the same thing. I don't have to pick my friend up, he's off, so I'm heading off to get some sleep. Good night.

I unexpectedly found myself at home by 10 pm

so I thought I'd blog, although I have to get up around 5 am.

Here's something I starred in my feed reader; it's a creepy form of bibliographic instruction. From Boing Boing, via the Great Western Dragon on LISNews.

When I was in fifth grade, Mississippi Public Broadcasting decided to introduce a series of short films to educate children on how to use the library. For some godforsaken reason, the people at MPB decided that the best way to do this would be through a post-apocalyptic science fiction serial with children roaming the blasted earth in a… bookmobile… like a cross between 'Reading Rainbow' and 'Damnation Alley.' Confused? So was I. I loved the library and post-apocalyptic movies and television programs, and even I was completely nonplussed. Apparently someone has uploaded the entire run onto YouTube. The music still gives me the creeps!

'Tombs and Talismans' by Mississippi Public Broadcasting


Okay, that's your tidbit for the day. Good night. :)

Reading

The Somnambulist by Jonathan Barnes

I got off from work early today

because I already had my hours in for the pay period, which is good, because I have a 2:15 podiatry appointment, then I have some other things to do running around town. I couldn't make physical therapy appointments for next week because he was booked up when I wasn't working, but I have a couple the first week of August. My first appointment went rather well, mostly assessment. To give you an idea of how my elbow is affecting things, I can grip 65 lbs with my left hand when my arm is stretched out, and only 45 lbs on my right, which is bad because my right should be stronger because it's dominant.

I'm glad the weekend is here. I do work tomorrow, but not a 10-hour shift, and I think I get off at 6 pm, which leaves some time to do other things.

I've been happily starring items in Google Reader to share with you. Some have already made it to the box at the top of this page, but I'd like to write about them, so I hope to post some tonight, depending on when I get home. Last night it was 4:30 am before I came in, and I had to get up at 9 am, so it's a little iffy in predicting.

Okay, I'm going to go now. Hope you have a good weekend.

A couple of interesting videos

Reading:
Necroscope 2: Vamphyri! by Brian Lumley



(having re-read the climax of the first book and found it satisfying indeed...)


'Ode to Joy' by Beaker


I love Beaker. Oh, hell, I am Beaker.

'CSI: Scooby Doo'


The latter is just wrong, but it's a good parody of both shows.

Thanks to YKWIA for letting me know about them. Good night.

I guess that last post didn't make much sense

On Friday, I knew my Internet service was going to be restricted by midnight, so when I got home at 11:20 I tried to blog to that effect. Unfortunately, I hit the return key right after typing the title, so it published, then went in to actually do the post and by the time I got through (although before midnight), my service was off. Sorry about that. It's back on (obviously), so here's what you missed:

Friday the 18th

Reading: Necroscope by Brian Lumley (reading aloud with a friend, a chapter a night)

Once again I'm going to have an Internet outage, albeit a relatively short one, that should run from tonight about midnight until Tuesday, when I can pay my bill. I hate that Insight will only allow you to make arrangements to pay once every six months.

On the other hand, I did make my rent yesterday, albeit late, but all the working I did this week should help me be able to be on time for August. Right now I have a roof over my head, electricity, gas for the car, and a little food, so hopefully I can make it until I get paid next week. But I don't have money for anything else, like the bus if something happens to the car, which inexplicably stalled in traffic today, although thankfully it started right back up.

I hate this. I've been looking at jobs and noticed one at the public library closing tomorrow for a part-time children's librarian. But although I love children in theory, and certainly love children's literature, in practice I'm just not comfortable around children. I wasn't even that comfortable around children when I was a child. Babies especially both intrigue and terrify me. Give me a kid about 6-10 and I can relate well. Before and after that, they might as well be aliens. So I'm not going to apply for that job, although it would help to have a second job that paid over $17 an hour. Everything else was either too far away or paraprofessional. There are definite downsides to living in a town with a library school--much more competition. But at least the library jobs are still posted fairly frequently. I've seen a greater dearth, especially the year I graduated (1993), when even the grocers around here weren't hiring. And I've been keeping an eye out for non-library jobs, too. I'd hate to leave librarianship, even temporarily, but I've got to have some financial stability.

I worked 34 hours or so at the store this past week, so I was very busy between that and appointments. It was a little better because I took off from the hospital on Thursday through Tuesday, so I got paid vacation and didn't wind up working 54 hours this week. But when I was home, I was pretty much asleep. I still haven't gotten a chance to call my mom and talk to her for a little while or figure out which physical therapist will work for my elbow issues. And I need to go to the gym/clear off a space in the living room to do yoga. I might be able to work the classes in this week with my work schedule, as I think I am off from the store on Monday and Wednesday. It's worth a try, anyway.

I found out today that one of the women I really like at work is going to be moving to another state soon. It sounds like a great opportunity for her family, it isn't too far away, but still, I'm going to miss her. She's the main person I eat lunch with these days (the others tend to eat outside, and I don't care to be out in the sun, since I burn so easily and am on some medication sometimes that makes that more likely). She's actually expressed interest in how the role-playing game works and I've told her a little bit about what's happening here and there and about my characters (without geeking out on her too badly, I might add).

Well, I think I'll update on Twitter and then head to bed. A friend will be calling me at 3 am for a ride, and tomorrow I work 10-6. I need to work on notes badly tomorrow, but there's also the grand 2-hour finale of 'Avatar: The Last Air Bender' on television, and I'd like to see it.

(Okay, so I couldn't stay on...I had to post this later.)

Saturday the 19th

Yay! We went to pre-pay! Okay, so no one told me until noon, so I was happily pre-authorising pumps for two hours before I found out. This means I have had no drive-offs for July and WON'T EVER AGAIN. Woo-hoo. Of course, it was rather stressful because several people bitched about it and threatened to never darken our door again. Good luck on finding a gas station in this area that isn’t pre-pay. We were one of the last to go.

Avatar was excellent by the way. I'm slowing getting a friend all the DVDs so we can watch them. I just haven't had much money to do so lately.

Sunday the 20th

No game today, but I did all the preparations for it plus a few other projects. I got home around seven, took a three-hour nap, and then got up at ten to do some things (I’d gotten up before 7 am, so I was a little tired.) I need to clear a space in my living room floor for yoga (I have some boxes of books and such. I’m not sure where to put them. Maybe the bedroom closet? I’ll have to check.)

Monday the 21st

A little white spider rode to work with me this morning. Sometimes spiders seem to be messengers from the Gods (particularly my own Patroness, Hekate), but I didn't get a clear sense of a warning or other message.

One more chapter of the Lumley book to go.

Tuesday the 22nd

A very long day, working from 10 am-10 pm between both jobs. The prepay thing has made things much easier. After work I went over to my friend's and we finished Necroscope. The idea is to read the whole series. I enjoyed it thoroughly, although I may need to go back over the last chapter because I was falling asleep as I read, and he did too--not because it was boring, but because we were both so tired (well, and we're kind of geared to fall asleep when read to).

Today

I still feel tired. I got about 6 hours of sleep, but I need more. Today I don't work at the store, but I do have my first session of physical therapy for my elbow, which should be interesting.

Good, I can still get on

A victory for privacy advocates

Lawyers in YouTube lawsuit reach privacy deal

It seems to me that the plaintiffs in this case would get more out of records of people who posted videos, rather than those who watched them, but the deal makes sure that the latter information is presented without usernames or other identifiable information attached.

It's sad when an institution of learning censors someone for reading a book

IUPUI says sorry to janitor scolded over KKK book

A book, mind you, that was a historical account of a clash between another university's students and the Ku Klux Klan (in which the students came out ahead)--a book in the college's own library. A janitor/student who was reading the book on break was threatened with disciplinary action for bringing materials that would be offensive to Blacks, and it was likened to bringing pornography to work.

Fortunately civil liberties groups and the blogosphere got saner heads at the Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis to issue an apology and make sure that none of this affects his personnel file.

My favourite quote, by the attorney for the ACLU:

'I am sure you see the absurdity of a university threatening an employee with discipline for reading a scholarly work that deals with the efforts of Notre Dame students in the 1920s to fight the KKK.'

Indeed. Universities of all places should be places of learning and enlightenment. I could almost see people being upset about someone reading KKK tracts at work--but even so, he or she should have a right to. But this was a different matter altogether. Anyway, I'm glad it worked out despite the fact that his immediate supervisor really mishandled the situation, in my opinion.

Thanks to YKWIA for telling me about this, as well as the magazine cover flap.

Well said

Obama says New Yorker insulted Muslim Americans

'You know, there are wonderful Muslim Americans all across the country who are doing wonderful things,' the presidential candidate told CNN's Larry King. 'And for this to be used as sort of an insult, or to raise suspicions about me, I think is unfortunate. And it's not what America's all about.'

If you've managed not to see the cover of the current New Yorker magazine, it was a supposed attempt at satire that as far as I'm concerned fell like a dud. In it, Barack Obama is seen in traditional Muslim attire in the Oval Office with his wife Michelle, who is in combat fatigues, an Afro, and an automatic rifle. On the wall hangs a picture of Osama bin Laden. They are doing a fist bump whilst a flag burns in the fireplace.

The magazine says that it was making fun of the misconceptions about Obama, and that it has to be taken in context (which seems a little odd, because if you look at the issue, the main article about Obama wasn't about those misconceptions, but rather an 'inside' look at how Obama became a 'pol'. I suppose the context could be the general use of satirical cartoons on the magazine's cover, but just because something often uses satire, doesn't make every attempt good satire.)

Now granted, the majority of Americans are probably satirically illiterate, and certainly there are those who say that those offended simply can't take a joke. But an artist friend of mine, who brought it to my attention, said he could easily think of a couple of ways the cover might have work, if drawn differently, and I agree.

I suspect had the media not taken off with it, little would have been made of it, because the ignorant people who believe such misconceptions most likely don't read the New Yorker. But many will look at the cover now and think, 'well, yes, that's where Obama's heading', which is unfortunate.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, this will blow over and become a minor footnote in history. But I have to admit, I'm one of the ones who just didn't see the humour in that cartoon. And I think Obama has treated the whole affair well.

I must get up in 2 hours

so I can't really blog. I hope to tomorrow afternoon before I go to work. In the meantime, just wanted to let you know I've not fallen off the face of the Earth.

'Night.

I was temporarily offline for a day

thanks to a security patch from Microsoft for Windows XP that wasn't compatible with my firewall. Said patch has been removed, and I'm back.

Things I want to share with you quickly as I must get up in three hours...

1) I found a really nice, free food diary/weight tracker/exercise tracker at FitDay. You can view my report at: http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=eilir.

2) A video that YKWIA found...

Bush & Cheney - Plenty Of Time!


It's hilarious. Actually, they're very talented at the Monkey Box. You should check them out.

Okay, gotta get up soon. I've ironed out Internet issues and soaked my foot. Time to go.

You know, it's harder than you might think to wrap a toe in a Band-Aid

Listening to: 'I'm Not that Girl' from Wicked

Especially if you have stubby, unagile toes like I do. They don't like to separate.

In other personal medical news, assuming you care, I'm out of the wrist brace except for lifting. Dr Favetto saw me this time, and he said that a lot of the trouble with the elbow tendon actually stems from my shoulders and posture. He wants me to go to physical therapy and get back into yoga. I was virtually prescribed to go to the gym, since most people don't exercise well at home. He thinks that will help with the various joint pain and the fibromyalgia that I rarely think about but which is always in the background (I don't do acute pain well, but as far as chronic pain goes, I'm a trooper).

I checked and if I go to the downtown gym (not as close to me as Palumbo, but close to work) on Mondays or Wednesdays, I could take an 'urban yoga' class. (The downtown gym also provides towels and all sorts of amenities). :) And of course I do have my Rodney Yee morning yoga tape, which I'm pretty decent at doing once I get into the groove of getting up earlier. I'll have to move some book boxes out of the living room, but I need to do that anyway.

The only trouble with yoga class or physical therapy is that I'm working 34 hours at the store this coming week, for a total of 54 hours. Mostly it's at 3 pm, a half hour after I get off at the hospital, going to 10 pm or so. I may take off a couple of days at the hospital for some other appointments and work the physical therapy in then; I'm not sure yet. We'll see how I do. I've been abysmal at going to the gym and I really don't have one to go with for motivation.

PS I think my keyboard is not sensitive enough or something; it keeps skipping over letters when I push the keys. It's not very old. Oh, well. I just have to remember to go back and read over what I write.

YKWIA is always trying to get me to use a food diary

and he's right to do so. Researchers have found that those using food diaries lose twice as much as those who do not.

4 Ways a Food Diary Can Help You Lose Weight

Shame

US wavered over S. Korean executions

In the early days of the Korean War, other American officers observed, photographed and confidentially reported on such wholesale executions by their South Korean ally, a secretive slaughter believed to have killed 100,000 or more leftists and supposed sympathizers, usually without charge or trial, in a few weeks in mid-1950.

Funny how when war (regular or Cold) comes up, basic freedoms go right out the window. In this case an ally apparently conducted thousands of killings and the American government stood by, documenting and reporting on it but putting little pressure on the Koreans to stop it.

Also, I hate to admit, things like this, and Japanese internment camps, and releasing nuclear weapons on a civilian populace--these were all done under the Democrats' watch. We like to think of ourselves as the party that protects freedom. It's Republicans like Bush who curtail our rights, correct? But the wholesale slaughter and confinement of those who either disagree or simply inconveniently exist goes far beyond things like the PATRIOT Act (and for that matter, plenty of Democrats voted for that, too.)

We need to dig up and bring to light these unpleasant truths from the past so that we my learn from it. But I'm embarrassed by my government's choices in the 1950s. I have a bumper sticker, much loved by others, that says something like:

I love my country
It's the government I fear

This certainly reiterates why. I had considered getting a new sticker if the Democrats take the White House in the fall. This just shows that history bears witness that it political affiliation doesn't matter--you still can't trust, especially when given a political machine that operates in secret in the name of protecting freedom.

See what happens when you lift a passage from an encyclopaedia without any critical thinking?

This is also an example of the lack of proactive diplomacy in the Bush Administration.

U.S. Apologizes for `Insulting' Berlusconi at G-8

Copy a not-so-neutral encyclopaedia article on the biography of one of your staunchest supporters, then distribute it to White House staff in preparation for one of the year's biggest conferences, and sit back and watch the media flak. Someone's head's going to roll over this one.

Listening to:

'No Good Deed' from Wicked (2003 Original Broadway Cast) [Thank you to YKWIA, who's been playing the songs for me. I definitely want to read Maguire's book, too.] I so relate to Elphaba (whose name is taken from L Frank Baum's initials eL-Fa-Ba).

I am soaking my foot

in epsom salts because I had in-office minor surgery to remove an ingrown toenail at the podiatrist's today. It was supposed to be numb and wasn't completely, but I managed to get through it with a stiff upper lip. It is interesting to see just how much even a fourth toe is necessary to your balance, for getting up, etc. Going up on tip-toes is right out. But ibuprofen's taking care of the pain and it's not too bad in any case. I have to soak it in the salts two-three times a day for 15-20 minutes and then pat it dry, put on Neosporin, and wrap in a Band-Aid. I thought it would be disgusting when I took off the bandage, but there's just some blood. I didn't look too closely at the nail this time though, I admit. There's also blood where she put in the needle around the base of the toe for the local anaesthesia. I go back in about 2 1/2 weeks for follow-up.

Tomorrow's my follow-up for my elbow. I'm still having trouble, even with the brace. Lifting at work isn't helping, especially on Thursdays when I put away the truck. Maybe we'll have an extra person who can lift the crates next time.

How was your weekend?

Mine was pretty decent, because I got a lot of rest.

On Friday I went down to the Fourth of July festival. I did indeed have a funnel cake (they, thankfully, haven't gone up over the year like everything else) and although I didn't find earrings, I found an ankh pendant to replace one that I'd lost. The nice thing about wearing an ankh is that it is a pagan symbol representing life that close-minded Christians do not immediately see as heathen in any way (I mean, it does look like a cross with a loop), whereas the ignorant often react to the pentagram negatively, not realising that it is not a Satanic symbol unless, like a cross, it is inverted. Since I work in a children's hospital and a gas station in which I encounter lots of people of different educational or religious stations, I prefer to wear my ankh. Granted, I have the right to wear the pentagram; but I like the ankh anyway, so I've chosen to wear it and save the pentagram for off-duty hours.

I did not get to see the parade because they reversed the route this year, which I didn't know. I went to Main Street to get a seat near what should have been the front since I had to go somewhere by 3 pm and the parade was supposed to start at 2 pm. By 2:30 nothing had come down the pipe so I started to leave and lo and behold, there it was off in the distance coming down the opposite of every other year I've been at the festival. I went ahead and left, having to cross the parade itself on vine (so it was indeed very long). I saw the people at Ramsey's giving out unhusked corn like it was candy, which was odd, and crossed behind a lounge's float. I don't think businesses should really be allowed to be in the parade; it just seems like one big advertisement. It should be community groups, bands, etc. Then I took a friend to the grocery and it poured when we came out. I got home, got out of my wet clothes, and decided to take a nap for an hour before deciding to go to the fireworks (depending on the rain). I didn't wake until about dark, then went back to sleep. I finally got up at 9 am, so I had fourteen hours of sleep.

Saturday I worked for eight hours. It was fairly uneventful. I had a good visit with a friend that night--we talked for hours, and I got to sample some really good cooking he'd done.

Sunday was the game. We played late, and I had to switch the battery in the middle of recording, so I hope I didn't miss anything (although of course I was also writing). The Antarctic bunch are getting closer to the the climax, and the tension is building.

Last night I got in about 10:30 and went straight to bed, then got up at 8:50 this morning, so I got quite a bit of rest again. I feel pretty good. Now I need to go to work, get something to eat, and start my day. I have an appointment with the podiatrist (following up on my broken foot from a few months ago) today and then I have some errands to do, but I'm not working at the store until Wednesday.

Have a good day; I hope you had a good weekend (and holiday if you're in the States).

Frankly, I think this hospital's licence should be yanked

This made the news whilst I was incommunicado, but they've released some more information, so I thought I'd mention it here. It's horrible.

Woman who died on hospital floor called 'beautiful person'

On June 19th, Esmin Green, a native of Jamaica who had been involuntarily brought to King County Hospital in Brooklyn due to 'agitation and psychosis', died on an emergency waiting room floor after waiting nearly 24 hours for a bed. Security cameras show her falling off her chair and convulsing. At no time did staff respond to her distress. Then she went still. For nearly an hour she lay on the floor dead until finally someone came up and nudged the body wit a foot and called for assistance. By that time, it was far too late. On top of that, staff falsified the records regarding the timeframe, making it seem like she was sitting quietly in her chair at the time she died.

Seven members of the staff have been fired or suspended: the chief of psychiatry, chief of security, a doctor, two nurses and two security guards. I don't think that's enough. The hospital has a history of problems, including a recent lawsuit alleging a poor standard of care and lack of basic sanitation.

Did this woman die because she was black, because she was mentally ill, or because she didn't have any money, or simply because of an environment of neglect and malpractice? I don't know. They're still investigating how she died, for that matter. But this mother of six who came to this country for better opportunities found precious little on a cold hospital floor.

Looking forward to having a day off

Listening to: 'Because of You' by Kelly Clarkson



and celebrating the 4th, barring rain at least. I plan to go to the downtown festival from about 12-2:30 (the parade runs at 2;I have to be somewhere from 3 until 4 or 5, so I'm hoping the parade doesn't run too over--it seems longer every year). Then it's back home to do what I can with the house until about 8:30, when it's time to go to watch the fireworks.

Objectives:

• funnel cake (yes, I'm diabetic; but it's once a year)
  
• wend through vendors
  
• find some inexpensive earrings (say $12 or less), but otherwise not spend any money
  
• parade
  

Happy Independence Day! (also one of my favourite songs)

PS The cat marching band was too bizarre to resist, but I found them at a site called Webweaver:

Free Clipart and Web Graphics
A huge collection of totally free clipart! No pop ups, trick links or registration required. Just high quality images!

An experimental e-book reader that navigates like a book

Dual-display e-book reader lets you flip pages naturally

There's a video that demonstrates the concept. It's still in development, but it looked intriguing. Thanks to Blake at LISNews for this one. (Obviously I read LISNews faithfully, right?)

Want to have some fun?

Reading: Necroscope by Brian Lumley

Try Wordle.

It allows you to take text, content from websites, or del.icio.us tags and create a picture that shows the most popular words, with the ones used most being the largest. It's a Java thing, but if you want to save a picture, you can take a screenshot (Shift+PrintScreen on Windows) and then cut and paste it into Paint or some other graphics program. Have fun. Here's one for this page:



Here's my résumé:



Okay, it's time to go to bed, so that's all for the night.

PS My plans for the 4th may have a wrench thrown into them. It's supposed to be cloudy with rain and storms that day. Sigh.

Think online information will replace paper anytime soon?

Ah, but they don't take into account those who either are not good with computers or just plain old prefer books. Check out this Newsweek article:

A Tangled Info Web

Who made the decision that everyone who is not computer-literate--very computer-literate, in the ease of our new library--could be left in the cold? Who is pretending that men and women from low-income neighborhoods, schooled without computers and without computers at home, can use this library? And how many decades will pass before everyone who graduated from pre-computer colleges is dead, and until inner-city and rural public schools have computers in sufficient numbers to teach all their children how to use them? Indeed, precious few minority faces are to be seen at the computer stations in our fancy new library.

--Via Blake at LISNews

Interested in resources for marketing your library?

Try http://www.marketingyourlibrary.com/

Thanks to Susan Akers via LISNews for the link.

Warning: I've been starring quite a few stories I wanted to blog about in Google Reader, so I may inudate you a bit whilst playing catch-up. :)

Well, drat, it's not unexpected, but annoying

I got a notice from the IRS that my stimulus payment had been applied to the taxes I owe. I knew it was a possibility, but I'd hoped otherwise. So now there's no money for brakes and I'll have to talk to my mom or otherwise come up with the money in a month that it's going to be difficult to pay my normal bills. I am working more at the store than usual, but I don't think it will be enough.

I wish I could find a job that paid a decent amount and was full-time. I'm so tired of never knowing if I'll have a place to live, or food, or a way to get to work. It's kind of ironic that I make so little but can't get the stimulus because I was too poor to pay my taxes on time. Owing the taxes is my fault; I had the wrong amount of exemptions claimed for two jobs, something I need to rectify so I won't have this trouble next year.

I also got something regarding my student loans. My estimated payment for the income contingent plan is $111 a month. I'm in forbearance now but that won't last long. I don't know how I'm going to pay that in addition to my other bills. The good news is that I'll have two debts paid off this month. But then I'll turn around and have to use it to finish paying my taxes and student loans.

Thanks for putting up with my griping. I know things will get better, and I haven't really hit 'worse' yet, but I'm afraid it's coming.

Okay, obviously getting to the library to blog didn't really work out

but that's okay, because I have my connexion at home again! Yay! I thought I'd give you a 'hey, I'm alive post' before going to work. Well, I almost wasn't yesterday. Some crazy driver from Virginia passed me using a right-turn only lane at Easthills and then had the gall to wave at me as she nearly clipped me off. I so wanted to ram her backside. But hey, I can manage my anger pretty well. Okay, I admit it, though, I did honk the horn soundly and flip her off, which is certainly not conduct becoming a lady but better than my normal wussy honks or passivity.

I'm looking forward to a day off Friday for the 4th of July. I'm off at both jobs. I hope to go to the downtown festival as normal and then to the fireworks that are held right across from the hospital. The forecast is for possible storms each afternoon for the next three days, so let's hope that won't be the case when the fireworks are scheduled.

Still no sign of the stimulus cheque. I'm trying not to fret, but I really do need the money (but then again, I suppose most people do). A couple of co-workers who were also supposed to get theirs around the same time already have theirs. Oh, well, I won't really start worrying for a week or so. But I have the money earmarked for something pretty pressing. My brakes need to be checked out. They're starting to grind. I don't want to let that go; it'll be costlier in the long run and potentially unsafe, but they seem to be working alright for now, just making noise. But they're making me nervous.

So you can see, I'm a ball of anxiety over things I can't really do much about right now. The cheque's arrival (or even existence) is out of my hands. In other words, I am generally operating as per normal. :) So I'm trying to focus on what I can affect, and I'm throwing in a little prayer, too.

Well, it's 9:35. I should go on in to work; I'll be a little early. Actually I need to pick up some medicine from the pharmacy, but I don't want to risk being late. But anyway, I'm back, sorry to have dropped things for so long. I've been pretty busy and it was hard to get over to the library during their hours. (I think you've noticed, I usually blog late at night, or in the morning before work, when they're not open). Take care.