And I don't mean because some creep might break in or something like that. Last night I had a scary experience, all due to some really wonky blood sugar.
I'd scrounged around for dinner and done some stuff around the house and read a book about an Australian mute girl and a cockatoo that in my getting-ready-to-start-my-period had left me teary and had unpacked a photo album and gone through it and looking at pictures of me as a kid for some weird reason may me just sob and I got very sleepy. It being about an hour and a half before I was supposed to pick a friend up from work, and recognising I was going to fall asleep, I set two alarms and put on my CPAP.
The next thing I knew my dog was barking and I groggily came awake, heard a tapping noise, but couldn't place it, then looked at the clock (with its four-inch high numbers, so I can read them if I squint even without my glasses) and it was after 2 am! I was supposed to pick him up at 12:30! Then I heard my doorbell, which is pitched to wake the dead.
Thankfully, I had clothes on, because I was out of it enough that I stumbled to the door and flung it open, still without my glasses on, and Eric and Dwana were standing there. Dwana was on her cell phone with my friend's spouse, who had frantically called her after no one heard from me and I hadn't shown up. She handed the phone to me and I remember saying I was so sorry and yes, I was okay, but groggy, and I apologised to everyone for the fuss they went on back home. Then I went back to the bed and sat on it kind of dazed. After awhile, I realised I was thinking in slow motion and my blood sugar felt off; I was so tired, and I was sweating and my hands and feet hurt. So I went and looked to see what didn't need cooking and ate some peanuts, and I finally started feeling mostly normal.
I debated and finally went out to the laundry room (I just have my cell phone these days, and can't refill the minutes until I get paid on Monday) and called the other friends and apologised directly to the person I was supposed to pick up. At that point, I was still in the I'm-sorry-don't-hate-me mode and not really grokking that they were worried about me. Then I went back over to my apartment and sat on the bed again.
And then it hit me.
I could have gone to sleep and never woken up.
Normally my blood sugar is okay, even with the diabetes. But my hormones always screw it up a little bit, and I was at that point in my cycle. As tight as everything's been lately, I haven't had a chance to refill my metformin, and I've been off of it for about three weeks. Plus, I'd had one peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and then chickpeas and tomato sauce, corn on the cob, and canned mandarins for dinner. I'm not even sure if it bottomed out (I think that's the case) or ran high, because I also haven't got test strips for the new glucometre yet.
I know that makes me seem like a basket case, but really, it's been a challenge lately just paying my rent and electricity. This next cheque goes completely to next month's rent. Since I'm trying to pay back rent from the last place, too, I'll have about $100 left from the one in September for my bills and maybe some food. I am definitely going to get the metformin on Monday, although the strips may have to wait till September.
In the meantime, the public library is checking with my references, so I'm hopeful...they wouldn't bother if the interview hadn't gone well, right? And if I can get one of those jobs, I'll be in a better place financially than I was before the layoff. :)
In the meantime, thank you, the four of you who were concerned and stayed up and panicked and the whole bit last night. Thank you so much. You are wonderful friends. I wasn't really up to expressing that last night; I was rather stunned. Poor Eric's working 13 hours on two hours' sleep, and one of you wound up walking home and drunken students threw trash at you. :< Not to mention the worrying, etc. I'm sorry. But I thank you so much for what you all did.
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