Putting the deaths of World War II in perspective, and those in wars since

The Fallen of World War II by Neil Halloran

WORLD WAR II’S IMPACT VIEWED IN A NEW LIGHT IN “THE FALLEN OF WORLD WAR II”

A video that captures

The dread and horror of the official uniformed visit to the family of a fallen soldier. I was aware of this when I was very young. My father served several tours in Southeast Asia, including Vietnam and Thailand. Fortunately, we never got that visit. But its possibility hangs over every military family. One of my friends lost her father in the military and probably did have such a visit. So many today have as well.

Anyway, I was looking to hear something new from Linkin Park, but came across this while doing so. And I must admit, it made me cry. My father and I have not spoken in over nineteen years. But the fear of losing him as a child is still very much in my psyche.

Amazing story

Taylor Morris, Quadruple Amputee, Dances With Girlfriend Danielle Kelly

Taylor Morris and Danielle Kelly's love story is a captivating one: Morris was hit by an explosive device while serving in Afghanistan and became one of the few surviving quadruple amputees, but that didn't stop him from dancing at a recent wedding with the girlfriend who has stayed by his side throughout his recovery, 9 News MSN reports.

Morris, 23, is an Navy EOD tech -- or Explosive Ordinance Disposal tech -- from Iowa who was injured in action last May after stepping on an IED. He lost both of his legs, his left arm from the bicep down, and his right hand.

Also...A Love Story In 22 Pictures: A picture is worth 1000 words. Keep tissues handy.

I wish them all the best...

Very troubling

Military women and suicide: Home safe but not sound: Rising suicide rates among female veterans show how deep the emotional wounds can be

In 2011, there were 164 deaths of active-duty soldiers that were investigated as suicides. Adding to the horror is this surprise: According to a study in Psychiatric Services, among women ages 18 to 34, female veterans were three times more likely to kill themselves than nonveterans. (An earlier study found that male veterans were twice as likely to commit suicide as were male nonvets.)

Psychologists aren't yet sure of the reason. The Psychiatric Services study was the first time researchers estimated the suicide risk among these women. "When we broke out the statistics on females with military service, it was shocking," says Mark Kaplan, D.P.H., coauthor of the study and professor of community health at Portland State University. "Why were women killing themselves at such a disproportionate rate? Why were so many suicides occurring after they'd returned home? It's a call to action for the military to take a closer look at what women are going through."

It's an interesting article, well worth a read. I feel for these soldiers, especially those on multiple deployments. We need to do more for our men and women in uniform in terms of social and psychological support.

This made me cry

'Daddy will always love you': Soldier's heartbreaking goodbye letter to his baby daughter from beyond the grave after he dies in Afghanistan

Two days after she laid her beloved soldier husband to rest Emma Weaver opened the laptop he'd had in Afghanistan and was overcome with emotion.

There were two Word documents on the desktop, one called 'Dear Emma,' the other marked 'Dear Kiley' for the couple's baby daughter.

Mrs Weaver realised her darling husband Todd, who was killed by an IED on his second tour of Afghanistan in September 2010, had written both his leading ladies goodbye letters in the event of his death.

I read about this story

on the BBC originally, but here is an expanded one that really got me.

A soldier and his dog make a final journey together: Liam and Theo were a team for years — and they died within hours of each other

Liam and Theo were a team, fast friends doing a dangerous job — searching out roadside bombs laid by insurgents in Afghanistan.

The jovial British soldier and his irrepressible dog worked and played together for months, and died on the same day. On Thursday they came home, flown back to Britain in a somber repatriation ceremony for the soldier remembered for his empathy with animals and the companion he loved.

Lance Cpl. Liam Tasker, a dog handler with the Royal Army Veterinary Corps, was killed in a firefight with insurgents in Helmand Province on March 1 as he searched for explosives with Theo, a bomb-sniffing springer spaniel mix. The dog suffered a fatal seizure hours later at a British army base, likely brought about by stress.

They were so successful in doing their job that their tour was extended. Theo's ashes will be given to the family of Lance Cpl. Tasker. Both were young--the man 26, the dog 22 months, both vibrant, and inseparable. Indeed, Tasker's uncle said:

"He actually said at one point that when he finished his tour he was not sure what would happen to his dog and that he could be separated from his dog," McCord told the local Courier newspaper in Scotland. "That was preying on his mind, but they are not separated now."

RIP Liam and Theo.

Every Monday Matters #7

Write a Letter to a U.S. Military Hero

I think this is a wonderful idea. Coming from a military family, I know that my father (who sent taped messages back home from Vietnam) seemed so lonely and tired on those recordings. I'm sure the same is true for many soldiers overseas today.

I have a co-worker whose husband has deployed several times and is active in veteran's organisations. I'm sure she could help me find someone to write to. There are also these suggestions from the Every Monday Matters website:

• Send a free postcard to soldier.
  
• Send an email to soldier.
  
• Send mail to an anonymous soldier.
  
• Donate a book to a soldier.
  

We have a drop-off point at work that takes up magazines for soldiers. I think it's a programme through the Marines.

Anyway, I'm going to check into seeing what I can do. I have a lot of sympathy for soldiers, even though I'm very anti-war as a general rule, and anti-war in terms of the ones we're in now. But I don't have to bring that up. I can talk about other things, ask questions, and hopefully give them a break from the very difficult situation they're in. And you can, too.

For some, the war lingers for a long, long time

US soldiers returning from Iraq face 'invisible wounds'

As troops return home from 12 months of deployment, experts warn of what many refer to as "the invisible wounds".

Depression, isolation, stress, anger, divorce and suicide are just part of the emotional challenges facing some of the troops.

Scott Swaim, a Gulf War veteran and a therapist at Spring Valleys in Washington DC, says when troops first come home they initially go through "the honeymoon period"

But the images of horror many of them have seen are not memories they can easily leave behind.

"The depression is huge and suicide rates are off the charts," says Mr Swaim.

"Because there's a lot of stigma with mental illness. A lot of people never understand it and in the military there's a double stigma - we're soldiers, not victims," he adds.

Just this month a US Department of Defense task force reported that between 2005 and 2009, more than 1,100 members of the Armed Forces committed suicide.

The military tends to let people fall through the cracks once they're back on US soil, living 'normal' lives after months or years of experiencing horrible things on a daily basis. I hope the brass is waking up to this problem, and that our government is appropriating more resources to help save our veterans' lives and sanity, both in country and back home.

A look at spaces left behind

In the musical Les Misérables, Marius sings of the 'empty chairs and empty tables' now that his friends from the student rebellion have died.

Photographer Ashley Gilbertson has taken photos of the bedrooms left behind by soldiers who died in Iraq and Afghanistan. These poignant reminders of loss show the personalities of their former occupants, now lost to the world.

The Shrine Down the Hall

The New York Times Magazine put twenty of her photographs together as a slideshow, along with the name, age, place, and circumstances of death for each one. Each name links to a picture of the person. My favourite, the one that really got me the most, was that of Private First Class Richard P. Langenbrunner, of Fort Wayne, Indiana, who died on April 17, 2007 in Rustamiyah, Iraq, of a suicide. He was 19 years old. His room has posters of Stargate SG-1 and Lord of the Rings; he has a replica of Bilbo Baggins' sword 'Sting' on his wall as well. There is a telescope in the window, pointed towards the heavens. The room strikes you as that of someone curious, imaginative, and ready to explore.

The photos are stark, black-and-white. They resonate with emptiness and remembrance, as shrines to loved ones now gone. A daughter's stuffed animals, a son's baseball trophies--the details of the things we surround ourselves with--they are all that remain. The photos themselves are moving, and the details worth contemplating.

What would remain of you when you die? How would your family remember you?

I read about this photoessay on Brandon's blog. Thanks, Brandon.

A son died for our country; now his mother is in limbo

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He was 25 years old when he died in Baghdad, in process of sponsoring his mother, who is from Peru, in becoming a permanent resident of this country. As far as I am concerned, she should be granted such status, and encouraged to be a citizen. Her son is buried here, having paid an awful price. Deporting her would be an insult to his memory. Most likely she will be granted permanent residency under a humanitarian provision. Still, the fact that she is now in limbo is a terrible thing. Our immigration system should allow immigrants whose immediate relatives have sacrificed themselves for our freedom to become legal residents.

On a related note, I checked on a story I'd blogged about before, of a Japanese woman who became pregnant by her Marine boyfriend right before he was deployed to Iraq, married him by proxy (a practice the military recognises as valid), only to lose him within a month as he was conducting a house-to-house search. Her son is an American citizen. She wants to raise him with her husband's family, to surround him with things related to his father. The family has been fighting to allow her to stay in Tennessee. A 1950s immigration law has been impeding their efforts. It does not recognise proxy marriages, and requires all marriages to be consummated. The immigration service is not considering it consummated despite their having a child together because they were not together after the actual marriage date. Now, although I think they continue to try to get her legal status here, she as of the beginning of this year she was returning to Okinawa. It's a very sad state when an American citizen must be sent to another country to be raised because his mother--who married his father in a ceremony recognised by both the US military and Japan--cannot stay. Our immigration system really needs to be reworked. Lots of illegal immigrants circumvent the system every day, but those who try to follow the rules come across roadblocks that are unnecessary and in some cases cruel.

Marine's wife, son will return to Japan despite legal efforts to stay

My best wishes to these two women, who have lost their loved ones, in their aim to reside in the US.

Thoughts for Teressa

who's 20 year-old son Robert is deploying to Afghanistan as I write. May he come back to her, to his little girl, and do some good along the way. You are all in my prayers.

This tears at my heart

A dramatisation of Pfc Jesse Givens' last letter home (before he died in 2003, 28 days before his son was born)--the song is sung by Cantus, a men's chorus.



For the story behind the letter, please see: Pfc Jesse Givens: A Legacy.

That unborn child is going to turn five this year, along with this war.

I never believed in the war, but I believe in the men and women fighting it. I do support the troops and part of the reason for that is I spent the first fifteen years of my life on Air Force bases--and the first six of them as a child of a soldier in Southeast Asia.

There is a photo of me, I guess I was two, pointing to a picture of my father as if asking, 'Is that my daddy?' That photo always seemed to bother my mom. I think she thought it might be all I knew of my father. In the grand scheme of things, that may have been okay. My father was not prepared to raise a child and to be a father, and his own insecurities and background ruined any chance we had to have a healthy relationship. I think his time in Vietnam, Thailand, and Cambodia did, too. I never knew my father before he went to war; he went to basic training whilst I was in the womb, was at more training when I was born, several states away. He went to Vietnam, when I was barely one. I have recorded 'letters' home from him, where he is tired, disillusioned, but trying to soldier on. My mother erased the one where you could hear the shrapnel. I've always wondered how different he might have been without his wartime experiences.

If he'd died, I'd have an idyllic father whose memory couldn't tarnish; people would forget the bad qualities and focus on the good ones. But as much as I sometimes wish I'd never known my father, I'd rather have one with all the frailities of a human being than just have some idea of a father, which is what these children will be left with. I think the little boy kissing his daddy to sleep each night--on a screen of a tape that was made the night before he left, did it the most for me; I cried.

Wherever Melissa Givens and her sons are today, I hope they are well. I'm sorry for their loss, and I hope they find happiness in their lives.