I didn't know this part - it makes it even sadder

Woman, 78, Last Polio Survivor Living In Iron Lung, Passes Away After Machine Becomes Too Old To Repair

This was on top of the post-polio syndrome and long Covid issues she was already dealing with. 😢

My sincerest condolences to her loved ones.

 

Her last interview:

Also terribly sad. This so needs to end.

 

From A Mighty Girl

:(

I have been thinking about one of my beloved professors, my undergraduate professor and my graduate advisor in the mediaeval history programme at UK, Dr. E. Randolph Daniel, all this past month. I knew him all told for about fifteen years. Of course that was many years ago, and I knew he was quite elderly and today I put in his name and 'obituary', and sure enough, his memorial service was earlier this month. He'd died on February 23rd.  I am so sorry I missed his service. He really stood up for me in the department when I was having problems due to undiagnosed health issues, as well as a nasty marriage and the resulting divorce. Many years ago I sent him a card thanking him, but I hadn't spoken with him since shortly before he retired in 2000. But he taught me so much and he put up with a lot from me, and I so appreciated it. Requiescat in pace, Dr. Daniel. Here is a link to his obituary. 

 

A co-worker who used to live in Hawai'i brought this story to my attention

It's so heart wrenching.

Parents find remains of teen son hugging dead dog in Maui home destroyed by wildfire

So sad

If I had finished my history graduate studies (I couldn't due to crippling anxiety for the thesis/dissertation defences), this is what I would have wanted to be when I grew up, a codicologist. I'm so sorry to hear of her death. The mediaevalist world has lost a bright light who brought her enthusiasm for mediaeval manuscripts and increasing access through digital projects to many both in and out of the field.

https://www.medievalists.net/2023/07/johanna-green-passes-away

So sad...grad student shot in Mexico for being in the wrong place at the wrong time

When I first entered college in 1984, my plans were to study social impacts on the environment and was majoring in biology heading towards a specialisation in oecology, as well as sociology as a second major. I never would have dreamed it was dangerous at all. My heart goes out to the family of this graduate student, Gabriel Trujillo. He sought to make the world better by finding a way to bring back the buttonbush to its native environment. Such an innocuous but important endeavour, and he died being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

U.S. Grad Student Brutally Killed on Mexican Field Trip: Gabriel Trujillo’s father says his 31-year-old son was shot seven times.

[PS While I kept the sociology major and paired it with history instead of biology, the change was because during Animal Biology my teacher chloroformed a lab rat in front of me...and dissected it right then. I was sick and dizzy. I love animals. This seemed so cruel. I got out of biology the next semester, although I loved it otherwise. I cannot abide that sort of indifference to animals.]

They are heroes twice over, and my condolences to their families

Three Americans killed in Australian plane crash identified – and all are U.S. military veterans

RIP

Terry Jones, Monty Python founder and Life of Brian director, dies aged 77

So sad

Sandeep Dhaliwal: Texas mourns 'trailblazing' Sikh sheriff's deputy

He was shot from behind at a routine traffic stop. No motive is known yet, but a suspect is in custody, but he had permission to wear his turban and beard on duty, so one does wonder whether it was directed towards him as a peace officer or him as a Sikh. There are lots of people out there who are anti-Muslim who see the turban and misidentify Sikhs as Muslim, because let's face it, hate is partly based on ignorance and stupidity.

It's been generally a good day, except

I found out that an old acquaintance (not close, but still, one I've known for decades) apparently died a couple of months ago of heart issues. He was my age. There was no memorial. This, on the heels of a former co-worker's death this week from cancer, has me thinking of my own mortality and that of those close to me.

But before we got this news, I took YKWIA out for a birthday Indian buffet at Masala, and it was wonderful.  They even had gulab jamun, which I adore, this time!  We also did some errands.

They're having a tailgating thing at work today (it's near the UK stadium, so it seemed a good opportunity to get my co-workers together), and I was thinking of going, am actually wearing the shirt they'd bought for us, but between the news and the fact that I'm stuffed with Indian food to the point of near torpor, I decided not to go.

I've done my shelf dusting for the day.  I have some laundry to do and the game notes.  Also, I need to take things to the storage unit and put them in there, put away my laundry from last week, make my bed, and generally straighten up my room.

Tonight we're planning on watching Cats, which I have out from the library. I've never seen the musical.

But before I do all that, I really want to take about a 45-minute nap.  So I'll stop here.  Perhaps I'll write later, though.

Catta malevolua mortua est

Grumpy Cat, Internet Celebrity With a Piercing Look of Contempt, is Dead at 7

Her real name was Tardar Sauce. Requiescat in pace.

So we're getting ready for the funeral

I'm dressed and ready; YKWIA is shaving.  We have to be there in an hour.  It's cold outside, much cooler than yesterday (the high I think is supposed to be 39 degrees).  The crows have been taunting the dog; the starlings have been flying in a flock up and down in the yard.  It is very windy.

The kitten went into the bathroom during each of our showers.  He is careful not to get wet, but he likes to keep us company.  The cat is asleep on my bed, something he usually only gets to do on weekends after breakfast, as I keep my room closed so the kitten will not play with wires or orchid roots during the day.

Tomorrow I'll have to get up much earlier and go to work.  Today my backup is dealing with the stuff I normally do, and I'm grateful, as I need a break.

I just wish the break hadn't included Mrs Fore's passing.  She was such a lovely person.  I will miss her terribly.  I've only known her since April, but she was so good to us, and really rather adopted us both.

Okay, I have some final things to do before we go.  Hope you had a good Thanksgiving break (if you're in the US, anyway).  Otherwise, at least I hope you had a good weekend.

Requiescat in pace

I've written a little about the estrangement between my father and myself in this blog over the years.  The photo below is a photo of my family, one of only a couple of photos of my mom, dad, and me together. We really were three individual people with no real cohesiveness as a family, except at dinnertime, which we spent together. My mom had ceramics as a hobby, my dad had his radio room, and I read a lot, escaping into fantasy. My first six years of life my dad was mostly in southeast Asia during the Vietnam War. At 15, my parents divorced and my mom and I moved back to Danville and I withdrew further into myself. I tried to keep a relationship with my dad for a while, but there wasn't much of a foundation to build on and a lot of negativity to overcome. Finally, 25 years ago, when I was 26, we broke off contact with each other entirely and went our separate ways. I changed my name. The years passed. I got a better perspective of just how dysfunctional my family was, but also how it probably was from my parents' perspectives. With age comes wisdom. I used to be angry with my father and later realised that some of that anger should have been directed elsewhere. I haven't been angry in a while. We just never were going to be the family I wanted us to be. I accepted it. My mother's death last year brought some closure regarding that. We had talked out some of it. And the rest didn't so much matter anymore with her gone.

The other day I found out my dad was in hospice. He died last night, peacefully. I don't really know how I feel. I'm kind of la-la-la-ing in my head. I wish we could have had a better relationship. We couldn't. Just because you're related by blood doesn't automatically make people love you.

Anyway, for what is worth, I wish you peace, Daddy. I'm sorry we couldn't make it as a family. Rest in peace, Allan Joseph Broadbent, August 19, 1947-November 8, 2018.

It's hard to believe they're both gone.  They were my world when I was younger.  We moved from place to place due to him being a career airman, and with no siblings of my own, my main interaction, for good and bad, was with them.  They were just 19 when they married, and I was already on the way.  Neither of them was particularly ready for a child, an admittedly good child who mostly read but was overly-sensitive and kind of a cry-baby and too bright but socially awkward for her own good.  

Reflections on 2017

2017 was an incredibly difficult, terrible, horrible, no-good year.  I say, good riddance.  In 2017 I:

• Lost my mother to end-stage liver disease.
• Lost a job I'd been at for twenty years, that I loved.
• Was unemployed for several weeks, with all the uncertainty that brings.
• Had a lot of general anxiety.
• Spent an inordinate amount of money on keeping my health insurance going through COBRA.
• Watched the country and the world go down the tubes in terms of politics [in my opinion].
• Dredged up childhood fears of nuclear Armageddon thanks to the insane, narcissistic morons in charge of two major countries with weapons of mass destruction.
• Watch what I thought was a great relationship (not mine) unravel due to addiction on the part of one spouse, despite all efforts of the other.

Some good things did work out for me in 2017:

• I managed to ave for the new building or donate most of the professional medical library I worked in to India, including the journals. 
• I was only unemployed for seven weeks, having been requested back at my old employer in a different capacity due to higher volumes to do contract work--no benefits, but it kept the lights on.
• I moved in with a friend to share expenses, someone who I've known for 30 years, whom people have always said we should live together, which we've always resisted, and it's working out really well.
• Moving forced me to put my therapy into practice and completely de-hoard my belongings.  Some are in storage.  Many were donated or discarded.  I wish I could have gotten everything to charities, but still, I donated a lot. I'm now basically living in a room with a bookcase bed with drawers, two nightstands, and the use of a cedar chest and closet, and I'm much happier to not be crushed under mounds of stuff accumulated over my (mostly) adult life.
• I recently was hired by my old employer as a regular worker.  While it's for quite a bit less money than I had been making as a librarian, I have full-time work with benefits and was able to go back to regular health insurance, etc.  I like the people I work with, I'm still very invested in the work the non-profit does in caring for children with disabilities and musculoskeletal issues, and it's nice to still be around people I care about.  If the right library job came along, I'd certainly apply.  But right now, at least I'm working and doing okay.
• Thanks to living with a great cook who makes healthy vegetarian food (as opposed to just bread and cheese, my mainstays), I've lost weight.

Things I hope will work out in 2018:

• I'm learning to de-stress with my work responsibilities and handle the volumes and duties necessary.  I want to continue improving so that I don' t really feel overwhelmed like I did in the first few months I worked.  I'd like to get to a point where I don't just come home exhausted on big-volume days wondering why I am doing what I'm doing.  I want to do what I'm doing and loving it, or barring that, find a job that I love being there for.  That's one reason for the lack of blogging; I simply am too tired most nights, because I've given my all at work.  I think that's getting better, though.
• I hope I can make changes to improve my health.  Watching my mother die of liver disease was very disturbing.  She smoked and had an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise for most of her adult life, had the misfortune to have diabetes (our entire family on my maternal side is pretty much diabetic, pre-diabetic, or at risk for it) and COPD (much of that was from smoking, but her father and I both also had/have asthma and breathing issues, so there was already an underlying propensity).  When the only thing that could have saved her was a liver transplant, she was still smoking (or at  least vaping), wasn't exactly compliant with her choices, and pretty much ran out of time between those and her age, although she was only 69, which these days is fairly young to die, especially when your mother lived with diabetes into her nineties.  What I realised was that with the exception of smoking (which I have never done), a lot of her food issues and genetics were passed down to me.  We were both overweight, although she dieted regularly when I was young, and that scarred me a little, and I've resisted it partly for that reason.  But I could eat much more healthily and not emotionally.  The diabetes gene is there, but I could improve my illness through lifestyle changes such as eating well and moving more.  Her fatty liver and eventual non-alcoholic cirrhosis may have had a genetic component but is common in diabetics, but it too can be helped through wellness changes.  When she was my age, her main indicator of what would eventually kill her was a few liver enzyme lab results that were slightly off and had been for some time.  I've had that same issue for awhile.  You know what happens when you go into this syndrome?  For one, you're more likely to get liver cancer.  My mom did, and they did an ablation and the tumour got better, but her bloodflow through the liver was impeded, so then when that happens, your ammonia builds up (as well as other toxins) to the point where you get very confused (she once put a Bic lighter in the microwave thinking it was soup, and my stepfather managed to catch her before she hit it on), and you have pints of fluid on you that have to be drained by parencentis (think of a big needle drawing fluid out of your abdomen).  You have to take LOTS of a liquid laxative that is awful and deal with the inevitable consequences to keep the ammonia and fluid from building up.  It's horrible.  She was in and out of the hospital for weeks on end in the months before she died, often unable to speak or be understood, and when she was finally put into hospice, my step-father said it was a terrible way to go, that she was in a lot of pain.  So it was a blessing when it was over.  I am so glad my step-father was there every step of the way.  Whatever anyone can ever say about him, he was a very good husband, and I wish him all the best.  He dealt with my mom's illness, her death, the death of their dog, his mom's infirmities (the lady's in her 90s), and a whole bunch of drama related to his sons' addiction issues.  I so wish him a much better 2018, too.

Okay, I guess I'd better start working on those notes.  But first I'm going to have dinner.  Good night.

RIP Chester Bennington

You probably wouldn't think it by looking at me, a middle-aged librarian without a single tattoo and only one simple piercing in each ear, but I like Linkin Park a lot, something any of you who have read this blog for awhile probably know, though. I don't care so much for the screaming songs, but I do like the ones that blend Chester Bennington's and Mike Shinoda's vocals, particularly. I have several of their albums (my favourite is A Thousand Suns). The following just feature Chester Bennington, which maybe is fitting, given their subject matter and the fact that he was found this morning, having apparently committed suicide by hanging. His friend Chris Cornell had recently died, also believed to be a suicide, and he was found on what would have been his friend's birthday. Requiescat in pace.

So sad.

This is an important read

This really floored me when I read it. Any preventable death is one too many. We need to put just as much effort in maternal health as neonatal medicine.

Focus On Infants During Childbirth Leaves U.S. Moms In Danger

Key findings of the article: (quoted from the sidebar)

• More American women are dying of pregnancy-related complications than any other developed country. Only in the U.S. has the rate of women who die been rising.
• There's a hodgepodge of hospital protocols for dealing with potentially fatal complications, allowing for treatable complications to become lethal.
• Hospitals — including those with intensive care units for newborns — can be woefully unprepared for a maternal emergency.
• Federal and state funding show only 6 percent of block grants for "maternal and child health" actually go to the health of mothers.
• In the U.S, some doctors entering the growing specialty of maternal-fetal medicine were able to complete that training without ever spending time in a labor-delivery unit.

Earlier today

I shuttled my friends to their appointment, to the store, and got A to work, helped YKWIA a bit at home, and then came home, tired (I couldn't sleep last night after cooking till late at YKWIA's--I think I was finally able to get to sleep at about 3:30 am, so my insomnia is continuing somewhat).  It was a bright, sunny afternoon and had warmed up quite a bit, so I opened the bedroom window, got into some comfy clothes, and took a nap.  I'm thinking that was about 4 or so.  Now I'm awake and it's 7:40.  That might cause an issue later tonight, but at least I slept well for a bit.

My aunts and uncles are going to be able to come in for the visitation and funeral, which is Monday. The ones in Georgia are driving up tomorrow, and the ones in Texas, bless their hearts, were working overtime to find a flight in, and the closest they could get was Nashville, and then drive three hours. So they're travelling tomorrow, too.  I'm not sure about my cousins--one is on the West Coast for work and can't come, another is in meetings in Georgia, but I'm glad my mom's sister and brother and their spouses will be able to.

I need to pick my friend up from work tonight and tomorrow night, so I'll drive down on Monday morning.  It's about 35 miles away, so not too bad, and I'll be going against morning traffic.  I have a dress picked out (thanks to YKWIA, who informed me that the dress I wore to my grandmother's funeral would need more than Spanx to fit correctly).  It's a dress I bought for a vow renewal a few years ago, a deep purple covered in black lace--not exactly ideal, but it's nice, respectful (well, if I wear a camisole under that neckline, and I think my mom would approve.)  I do need to find some hose to go with it, which can be a challenge at my size (there's a reason I wear summer skirts and otherwise pants).  I may actually have to break down and go to the Evil Empire (aka Walmart), where I do not usually shop.  We'll see.

Tomorrow we are not playing the game. I could probably have used the distraction, but on the other hand, will have a little extra time to do some things.  I also desperately need to do laundry tomorrow.  I actually went out to Gabriel Brothers the other night looking for underwear (they usually have my size, unlike most other places in town that aren't a 'plus-sized women's' store, and much cheaper, because with YKWIA sick, I haven't done my laundry.  But I had no luck.  Fortunately I dug around and found some to get me through tomorrow.  So I'll go over there and do that and help him out if needed, or maybe we'll watch something on streaming video.

I also realised today that I missed renewing some books that were due the day she died, which I rectified, so I have some fines. I've paused my tracking, to-do items on Habitica so that by not doing them I will not affect the members of my party.  Funny how little things slip and then come to mind later in times like this.  I've e-mailed my family back and forth, and texted with my step-father, who sounds exhausted.  I've texted that I won't be to work to my bosses (well, I know I got through to one; the other may be an old number, so I'll leave a message at work as well).  I'll get some gas tomorrow for the trip.  I had thought about staying down in a hotel Monday night.  I'll keep it as an option, but for now, the plan is to just go down, go to the visitation and service, go the the graveside and know where she is to be buried, and maybe out to eat and spend some time with my family, then come back that evening.  I may take Tuesday off , though, as I have three days' bereavement leave, and I'm not sure it's really hit yet, and may not until the actual funeral.

I debated contacting my estranged father to let him know she had died.  We haven't spoken since 1993. but I know where he is on Facebook and could get a hold of him if I wanted to.  But I quickly discarded that idea.  He basically abandoned us in the 80s to pursue other women and a freer life without us, and I suspect he always felt rather trapped by my mother, who got pregnant before they broke up, then found out, and within a month his mom had pressured him to marry her.  My mom's parents, I will say, were very good, and even though it was the 60s, offered to let her live at home and not go the marriage route.  It's amazing the marriage lasted as long as it did, really.

My dad and I went our separate ways after my grandmother's funeral, when he lied to me and told me the insurance money was part of the estate and instead of asking me to help with expenses, demanded the money ($5,000, at a time when I was a student eating every other day, and he was an engineer who moved to Minnesota for an extra $30,000 a year and who had a policy in his name, as well, for twice that).  When I told him I wouldn't give it to him on the advice of my grandfather and YKWIA, he hung up on me, and that was that.

This is a man who moved us to another state, after they sold the house at a loss and my mom lost seniority at work, just so he could then tell her while we were in the motel that he was seeing someone else and wanted a divorce.  It was devastating, and it took her years to get over the financial and other repercussions.  He doesn't deserve to know.

Besides, while she had four husbands total (one of whom she was widowed by), her current husband and she were together longer than any of them (my dad was about 16 years; John has that surpassed).  John has been incredibly good to my mom, and has been a great companion, who took care of her in her illness day in and day out, and I can't thank him enough for being there.  I couldn't have done it, even without working.

When I was growing up, my mom and I were inseparable, even enmeshed to a great degree by the time I reached adulthood.  As an only child, there'd just been the two of us, especially while my father was overseas and then when he left.  As I got older, though, we drifted apart, and we were not as close as many moms and daughters that I know.  We each had our own lives, and checked in with each other every few weeks, and then I'd go visit about every three months or so, and at the holidays.  Momma tended to reach out to me more when she wasn't married, as she didn't have as much going on.  As years went on and I did a lot of examination, I realised a lot of my issues came from our relationship rather than just my issues with my dad.  And we talked about them a little, and we worked some of that out, but generally, we just lived our own lives and then came together every now and then. But we never cut ties like my dad and I did.

Despite that, I have found myself constantly thinking things over the last few days that bring my mom to mind.  'Oh, I should tell Momma that.  Wait, I can't.' or 'Momma would love this blouse I found.  But she'll never see it.' That sort of thing.  I guess that's to be expected, but it hurts.  The finality is starting to sink in.

Finally, let me just say that having watched the effects of end-stage liver disease, and even though she was never able to get a liver or even be placed on the list for one, she held out hope for that, and it would have changed her life around for the better.  Please consider being an organ donor.  There are thousands of people living, barely, who would benefit from that call that says, come in, we have a (insert organ here), that will have their lives transformed for the better.  You won't need them any more.  Why not donate life in your passing?

Okay, I'm going to sign off for now. I've been typing for an hour.  Funny, I usually listen to music to relax, even more than anything else, and I've had trouble doing that since she died, because certain lyrics cause me to cry, etc.  The only song I've sought out has been Rob Thomas' 'Now Comes the Night', a song I'd like played at my own funeral. I find it comforting.  Here it is:

Sad

My mom was my first friend. She is at peace now. She died this afternoon. Requiescat in pace, Phyllis Montgomery, August 3, 1947-March 2, 2017.

Well, he had a good run

John Glenn, courtesy NASA, pictured for his second space flight on October 29, 1998, on Space Shuttle Discovery's STS-95

John Glenn, First American to Orbit the Earth, Dies at 95

In addition to his military career (including WWII combat flights), pioneering orbit, political service, and return to space in the shuttle Discovery, he was married to his high school sweetheart, who survives him, for a staggering 73 years. My thoughts go out to Anna Glenn, their children, and grandchildren, and other family in this difficult time.

:(

Eight pedestrian deaths makes 2016 one of deadliest in decades ... 

This latest death happened within yards of where I was hit by a car four years ago.  I don't know the details,  other than what's been reported.  I do know that when I was hit,  I was in the crosswalk,  crossing with the light at Eagle Creek and Richmond Road,  obeying all laws and such,  and I still had my foot run over, breaking two bones in my right foot,  and breaking my right ankle,  requiring surgery and a three month recovery at home,  off work. And I was lucky.  I survived.  I didn't have life-threatening injuries,  or a head injury.  Yes,  I was left with a scar and an ankle that tends to swell,  but overall,  I've recovered.  My thoughts are with the family and loved ones of this young man and the two men killed last weekend by a drunken driver.  Please folks, be careful out there.