I want to be a librarian like this when I grow up

The Unknown Librarian Who Saved Queer History: You probably don’t know the name Paul Fasana. But the librarian was instrumental in preserving hundreds of thousands of artifacts of queer history

A working-class gay man and first-gen college student, Fasana came out in the late 1950s, while getting a master’s of library science at UC-Berkeley (where he later established a scholarship for queer students). After rising through the ranks at the New York Public Library, he moved to Florida in the mid-’90s and began the herculean task of organizing SNMAL’s holdings. Since 1972, SNMAL has been a crucial safeguard of queer history—particularly queer Southern history—but like all independent queer archives, its fragile existence has long depended on volunteers like Fasana, passionate pencil pushers who perform the inglorious yet absolutely necessary day-to-day work.

By the time Fasana came on board, SNMAL’s holdings had grown precipitously, particularly as it rescued vast collections from men dying in the first wave of the AIDS crisis. Out of a jumble spread across three different warehouses, Fasana knit the collections together into one usable archive—an archive that has been powering queer scholarship and community in southern Florida and across the country ever since. Today, in honor of Fasana and his partner, Robert Graham, SNMAL’s collection is known as the Fasana/Graham Archive.

SNMAL is the Stonewall National Museum, Archives, and Library in Florida, not connected to the Stonewall Riots of 1969, but it's 50 years old (founded in 1972). For more on them, see their about page.

Worth a watch, I think

Eldorado is one of those documentaries that gives texture and context, faces and voices, to a well-chronicled period and set of circumstances. It does so with style, sensitivity, and a respect for the history it examines. Here we experience the decadence that thrived before the fall, at a hideaway for those whose differences would soon mark them for prison, exile, or, in many cases, death (it is estimated that between 5,000 and 15,000 gay people died in the concentration camps for violating Paragraph 175). We can’t change what hate looked like then. But it remains essential to take note and try to stop its encroachment now.

Netflix Exposes the Secret Gay History of Nazi Germany

This should be heard; this should be shared; this should be proclaimed from the mountaintop

Listen.

This was a difficult read for me, because it brought up a lot of my own experiences

If you have any desire to understand what it is like living as a gay person who has been told all their lives that they are one thing, and denying their real nature, I'd seriously recommend reading the linked story. It's told from the Mormon perspective, but it could be many cultures or religions, really, and it discusses the harm of the negative view of homosexuality on real people's identity and mental health, whether outright 'you're going to hell' to 'love the sinner, hate the sin'.

When I was 18, very young and naïve, I met my future husband, whom I subsequently learned was gay. We eventually became a sort of 'triunity' by adding a third partner in our relationship, a man with whom is still together. But it did irreparable damage to me, and to them. The relationship wasn't good for any of us, because it was based on a lie, as he was still trying to build a home as a bisexual, when he was, in my opinion, quite gay and hiding behind my skirts, so to speak. He was, at one point, very Christian, although eventually, I think he rejected most of it. I realised for my own good I had to get out of the relationship, for some of the reasons the wife mentions, but also because of double standards and other issues that were secondary to the actual sexual orientation issues. I was 24 when I left. I had been the one who had pushed for the marriage because some part of me thought that would somehow legitimize what I'd been going through all this time. I was wrong. My leaving, divorcing was best for all of us. It was painful. I've never really dated anyone seriously since, and that was 26 years ago. I hope he finally came to grips with himself, that he and his partner (I don't know if they ever married) have a better relationship with my absence. My experiences are different than this couple's. Thankfully, I didn't have children to worry about. But these sorts of relationships are, I suspect, fairly common, where the pressures of society bring people together young and naive, who don't have a chance to really explore their own identity first. I wish this couple well. I certainly identify with the wife. But read it, it's very well thought-out, well-written, and even references a modern retelling of the Ugly Duckling story to help people understand. Like Stellaluna, you can't be a bird when you're a bat. And you can't be a bat when you're a unicorn. Be yourself, no matter what people say, because trying to conform to everyone else's opinion is maddening and sucks at your soul. And like I said, it's not a bashing of Christianity. When we were together a friend of the partner, an Indian graduate student who was being harassed by a local conversion therapy ministry group in the 80s, who were showing up at work and whom he desperately did not want contacting his devout Hindu family, committed suicide in response. These are lives and deaths we're talking about. If you can't be supportive, don't, at least, contribute to the problem, particularly in the name of religion or God.

TURNING A UNICORN INTO A BAT: THE POST IN WHICH WE ANNOUNCE THE END OF OUR MARRIAGE

It is a great little film

I cry at this point every time...

This is wonderful moment from an excellent film we watched today

one that I had picked out from Netflix on DVD for its sheer novelty (gay and lesbian British activists support striking Welsh miners, and the two groups forge amazing ties during the Thatcher years). It was well-acted, moving, and captured the 80s, the gay culture, and the prejudices of the time very well.

Each life was important, and should be remembered

Anderson Cooper's emotional tribute to victims

Please listen as he reads the names, and tells something of each one of them, if known. The one that got me the most, for whatever reason, was Brenda Lee Marquez McCool. She was 49 years old--the same age I am. She had eleven kids, and had beaten cancer twice. One of her sons was gay, and she was so supportive that they often went to Pulse together to dance. That night, she died. He lived, and I'm sure it's torn him up completely.

As Cooper said, these were people who 'loved and were loved'. They had families and friends. They had dreams to chase. Many of them were very young--one was just 18. They seemed to have their whole lives ahead of them, but were cut down by a gunman who somehow seems to be an intersection in a complex diagramme of hate crime, terrorism, mental illness--all the usual suspects in mass murder, rolled up into one.

This incident has weighed heavily on me all of today; I could barely concentrate at work. So many lives cut short, due to a type of mentality that is incomprehensible to everyone I've talked to. It's so sad. Please, do not let these men and women become merely statistics. They were vibrant people who made a difference to those around them. Several were partners who died together. We need to remember their names, and more to the point, we need to take steps to make sure it's a lot harder for this sort of thing to happen again. Thank you, Anderson Cooper. You put the emphasis where it needed to be--the dead, rather than the gunman. Those names have meaning. Those names were lives lost.

:)

Downloaded these using my library card this week via the Freegal Music application. You can download three songs for free a week and keep them.



[this album version does not have Futuristic's rap that is on the released for radio play version]



[a fun little song about being who you are and loving who you want]



[a classic--I'm working my way through the Original Cast recording]

Love and war

This is very tender.

‘Sleep Well My Love’: A Gay Soldier’s Love Letter From WWII

The happiness when told we were going home — and the misery when we learned that we would not be going together. Fond goodbyes on a secluded beach beneath the star-studded velvet of an African night, and the tears that would not be stopped as I stood atop the sea-wall and watched your convoy disappear over the horizon.

We vowed we’d be together again “back home,” but fate knew better — you never got there. And so, Dave, I hope that where ever you are these memories are as precious to you as they are to me.

I love the sound of the song

But the video is damn powerful in its own right.

And a little bit behind the song and music video:

I liked this, both in terms of Tim Cook himself and the author of this article

Tim Cook Is Important Because Firsts Are Important

In 2014, it is still news when Tim Cook of Apple becomes the first chief executive of a Fortune 1000 company to publicly say that he is gay. Some day, an announcement like that probably will not be newsworthy, and when that happens, it will largely be because it was news today.

Speaking of gays

Brenda showed us this on Sunday. Okay, yes, it plays up on rural stereotypes, but I'm very proud of the folks in Vicco, Kentucky. They've got their priorities straight. And I'm glad that here in Lexington, we also have a gay mayor, who is up for re-election and has my vote.

The Colbert Report
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I don't normally comment on news stories, or reply to other comments

But one woman was going on about how gays weren't in God's plan, and how God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, etc., etc., in capital letters to try to make her point somehow more believable than anyone else's, I suppose. It irritated me, to say the least. So this was my reply:

The sin of the people of Sodom & Gomorrah was, according to Jewish tradition (as in the one that the scriptures come from), one of hospitality. There was a great deal of sin in the cities, per the Bible, but as the scholar Jay Michaelson wrote: "Homosexual rape is the way in which they violate hospitality—not the essence of their transgression. Reading the story of Sodom as being about homosexuality is like reading the story of an ax murderer as being about an ax." Perhaps you might consider reading the text of the scripture and of those who have devoted their lives to studying it, rather than using it to spout hate. Also, shouting in giant capital letters and misspellings does nothing for your case, but rather just indicate that you are trying to spout hate masked in religiousity at the top of your lungs. I wish Christians were more concerned with their own souls than that of others. I am neither Christian nor Jewish, and the status of my soul is a matter for time to tell, and for my Gods to decide, but I do respect the teachings of Christ, and wish more people who profess to be Christian would actually learn his lessons of love rather than casting aspersions on others they perceive to be sinners. Beyond that, marriage in this country is a civil matter. You can marry in a church, but without the state's blessing, it is not recognized. It is just customary to not require two ceremonies when a couple marry, for simplicity's sake. So Biblical arguments against legal marriage in the United States are invalid. Religious bodies are free to not bless unions, but legal civil marriage should be open to people regardless of gender, for without it, basic rights protected by our Constitution are violated. All gay couples are asking is that they be able to enjoy the same rights and straight ones. And I say more power to them--I was married nine months and it was considered legal and binding. Friends of mine have been together 16 years, yet they are seen as being merely partners because they are the same gender. Who had the greater commitment to each other? Definitely my friends. They should be allowed to marry in this, their state of residence.

Here's the original story: Couple Sues Ky To Issue Same-Sex Marriage License

Coincidentally, I had someone post a comment on my last post (why, I'm not sure, since it had nothing to do with religion, or anything that would even tangentially made sense) in a long rambling bunch of Bible verses (and yet again, much of it in all caps). Now, I moderate the comments on this blog, and frankly, I didn't see any reason to allow that one, because it was not related in any way to me or to what I wrote. Or at least, I'm assuming it doesn't have anything to do with me. I suppose it could have been a pathetic attempt at conversion, in which case, sadly for the writer, it failed. Please understand that I'm very open to comments, but do not pass on things that are either simply spam or, in this case, the equivalent of leaving a religious tract on my doorstep. Also understand that I don't have problems with Christians, especially ones who have compassion and tolerance. Nor do I necessarily expect all Christians to respect that I have my own religious beliefs. But this is my forum, so I'm afraid it operates by my rules. So sorry, no long praise comments regarding the Christian God. Maybe a nice Orphic hymn would be more appropriate, don't you think?

I've changed my Facebook and Twitter profile pictures to this

courtesy of the Human Rights Campaign. #LoveConquersHate

Interesting article

Most of my adult life, the majority of men in my life have been gay. My ex-husband and ex-'bosom companion' (long story) are gay. My dearest friends--rather, my adoptive family--are gay as well. But I don't have much to do with 'gay subculture', and this article has some valid points of how women are often treated by gay mem who have been subsumed by it. It is written by a gay man who sees women as people, not objects. Whether you agree or not, it's still an interesting article that would be good for starting dialogue. And one thing I must absolutely agree with, saying 'I'm gay' never excuses deplorable behaviour by or towards anyone.

The Myth of the Fag Hag and Dirty Secrets of the Gay Male Subculture

In my mid-twenties, I learned that taking your female friends to a gay bar is like taking a vegetarian to a butcher shop. There is a lot of meat, a lot of prime cuts, and even a little tripe, but nothing they can eat. While there aren't any publicly-posted placards posted to the effect of NO BROADS ALLOWED, the unnecessarily long wait times they have to endure to get drinks–watered-down drinks nonetheless–and the degree of stink-eye they receive from bartenders do a great job of conveying that same general message. Shortly thereafter, I began wearying of gay bars in general. My friends were largely women and if they weren't being treated respectfully–and not getting decent cocktails, then what's the use of opening a tab?

It's a dirty secret of a subculture of the gay male world about women: That they're essentially unwelcome, unless they come to us as a Real Housewife, a pop diva, or an Tony award winner–or an unassuming fag hag. To anyone just coming out of the closet and hoping to get his bearings in the gay male community, the attitude towards women is simple: They are just objects whose function is to serve gay men. Maybe it happens when gay men get too comfortable in newly-discovered safe spaces–where they get to call the shots as their proudly out new selves. Or maybe it happens through cultural conditioning. Whatever the cause is, it becomes clear: If there isn't any kind of transactional exchange happening, then women lose their value in gay male subcultures.

A sad but compelling story

Oregon Father’s Memorial Trek Across Country Ends in a Family’s Second Tragedy

As he made his way across the country, Joe Bell walked through rain squalls, slept in ditches and talked to anyone who would listen about how his gay son had killed himself after being taunted and bullied at school.

Mr. Bell’s artificial knees ached and his feet were mapped with blisters, but he told friends and strangers that he was determined to make it on foot from his home in eastern Oregon to New York City, where his son, Jadin, 15, had dreamed of one day working in fashion or photography. “I miss my son Jadin with all my heart and soul,” he wrote on Facebook in late May. “I know you’re with me on this walk.”

But last Wednesday, Mr. Bell’s American journey — one that drew attention from local newspapers and attracted thousands of followers on social media — ended in an instant on a two-lane road in rural eastern Colorado. He was struck and killed by a tractor-trailer whose driver had apparently fallen asleep, the state police said.

For nearly six months, Mr. Bell, 48, had been on the road, sharing his son’s story and trying to salve his own grief. He spoke at motorcycle rallies and college bars, schools, diners and gay-outreach centers, telling people about his sensitive, artistic son who hanged himself from a piece of playground equipment on Jan. 19.

So glad!

Exodus International: 'Gay Cure' Group Leader Shutting Down Ministry After Change of Heart

A Christian ministry that claimed people could change their sexuality through faith, prayer and therapy is shutting down its operations, and the group's president issued an apology for causing the gay community "pain and hurt" through its past work.

When I was at school, a friend of mine knew a guy at the university who was a graduate student and who was hounded by these people. They showed up at his workplace and threatened to contact his family in India. The young man wound up committing suicide. I know that ultimately it was his choice, and it was the result of a few individuals' zeal, but still, I can't imagine how he must have felt, and I've never forgotten what this group did. This news gives me some hope that the world is, indeed changing, and in some ways, for the better.

Terrible

High School Fires Teacher After Her Partner's Name Appeared In Her Mother's Obituary

The diocese says Carla Hale wasn't fired because she is gay, but rather because her partner's name appeared in the obituary under the convention of showing a spousal relationship, which is against church teachings. Go figure. So not only has she recently lost her mother, she is being punished for loving someone who happens to be female and including her in the memorial. As her attorney put it, 'It's like not being fired for being a woman but being fired because you're pregnant.' 19 years of service to teaching was ended because of small-minds. Looks like a few people need a broader education.

My thanks to George Takei for bringing this to my attention. I do so hope she wins her appeal of the grievance.

Yet another reason I love Amazon

It's back up after getting pulled because enough homophobes flagged the video as inappropriate. I think it's extremely sweet, appropriate, and maybe it will remind people that books tend to open minds.

I went back to sleep this morning and slept about four hours

Most of which was spent dreaming about a worldwide beauty contest set in Korea where I was being prepped with handlers similar to Katniss Everdeen's in The Hunger Games. Turns out midway through the dream, it was a contest for drag queens, and I was one, too. I'd broken up with my boyfriend and was trying to escape into the contest when someone else won without me even performing. But the boyfriend kept trying to get to Korea, finally did, and there was a tearful reunion. This is what I get for watching the movie Clue on Logo the other day. There were many, many ads for RuPaul's Drag Race.

I very rarely dream I'm a guy, and I've never dreamt I was a gay guy with a partner. The drag thing was obviously something I was new at. But I'm just glad there was a happy ending, and I woke up about 10 seconds before my alarm went off.