Interesting article

Most of my adult life, the majority of men in my life have been gay. My ex-husband and ex-'bosom companion' (long story) are gay. My dearest friends--rather, my adoptive family--are gay as well. But I don't have much to do with 'gay subculture', and this article has some valid points of how women are often treated by gay mem who have been subsumed by it. It is written by a gay man who sees women as people, not objects. Whether you agree or not, it's still an interesting article that would be good for starting dialogue. And one thing I must absolutely agree with, saying 'I'm gay' never excuses deplorable behaviour by or towards anyone.

The Myth of the Fag Hag and Dirty Secrets of the Gay Male Subculture

In my mid-twenties, I learned that taking your female friends to a gay bar is like taking a vegetarian to a butcher shop. There is a lot of meat, a lot of prime cuts, and even a little tripe, but nothing they can eat. While there aren't any publicly-posted placards posted to the effect of NO BROADS ALLOWED, the unnecessarily long wait times they have to endure to get drinks–watered-down drinks nonetheless–and the degree of stink-eye they receive from bartenders do a great job of conveying that same general message. Shortly thereafter, I began wearying of gay bars in general. My friends were largely women and if they weren't being treated respectfully–and not getting decent cocktails, then what's the use of opening a tab?

It's a dirty secret of a subculture of the gay male world about women: That they're essentially unwelcome, unless they come to us as a Real Housewife, a pop diva, or an Tony award winner–or an unassuming fag hag. To anyone just coming out of the closet and hoping to get his bearings in the gay male community, the attitude towards women is simple: They are just objects whose function is to serve gay men. Maybe it happens when gay men get too comfortable in newly-discovered safe spaces–where they get to call the shots as their proudly out new selves. Or maybe it happens through cultural conditioning. Whatever the cause is, it becomes clear: If there isn't any kind of transactional exchange happening, then women lose their value in gay male subcultures.