This was a difficult read for me, because it brought up a lot of my own experiences

If you have any desire to understand what it is like living as a gay person who has been told all their lives that they are one thing, and denying their real nature, I'd seriously recommend reading the linked story. It's told from the Mormon perspective, but it could be many cultures or religions, really, and it discusses the harm of the negative view of homosexuality on real people's identity and mental health, whether outright 'you're going to hell' to 'love the sinner, hate the sin'.

When I was 18, very young and naïve, I met my future husband, whom I subsequently learned was gay. We eventually became a sort of 'triunity' by adding a third partner in our relationship, a man with whom is still together. But it did irreparable damage to me, and to them. The relationship wasn't good for any of us, because it was based on a lie, as he was still trying to build a home as a bisexual, when he was, in my opinion, quite gay and hiding behind my skirts, so to speak. He was, at one point, very Christian, although eventually, I think he rejected most of it. I realised for my own good I had to get out of the relationship, for some of the reasons the wife mentions, but also because of double standards and other issues that were secondary to the actual sexual orientation issues. I was 24 when I left. I had been the one who had pushed for the marriage because some part of me thought that would somehow legitimize what I'd been going through all this time. I was wrong. My leaving, divorcing was best for all of us. It was painful. I've never really dated anyone seriously since, and that was 26 years ago. I hope he finally came to grips with himself, that he and his partner (I don't know if they ever married) have a better relationship with my absence. My experiences are different than this couple's. Thankfully, I didn't have children to worry about. But these sorts of relationships are, I suspect, fairly common, where the pressures of society bring people together young and naive, who don't have a chance to really explore their own identity first. I wish this couple well. I certainly identify with the wife. But read it, it's very well thought-out, well-written, and even references a modern retelling of the Ugly Duckling story to help people understand. Like Stellaluna, you can't be a bird when you're a bat. And you can't be a bat when you're a unicorn. Be yourself, no matter what people say, because trying to conform to everyone else's opinion is maddening and sucks at your soul. And like I said, it's not a bashing of Christianity. When we were together a friend of the partner, an Indian graduate student who was being harassed by a local conversion therapy ministry group in the 80s, who were showing up at work and whom he desperately did not want contacting his devout Hindu family, committed suicide in response. These are lives and deaths we're talking about. If you can't be supportive, don't, at least, contribute to the problem, particularly in the name of religion or God.

TURNING A UNICORN INTO A BAT: THE POST IN WHICH WE ANNOUNCE THE END OF OUR MARRIAGE