Connexions

Yesterday before I left work I had a nice conversation (since all the patients had left and we might have been two of the few in the building on a Friday at almost 5 pm) with a nice young man who I would never see again because he was moving out of state. I'd seen him a only few times but had never gotten to exchange more than five words with him. In the 10 minutes we chatted, we talked about several things, including comics (I used to work at a comic book store back in the day), especially Marvel vs. Marvel movies (a sore point for both of us) and I told him my favourite comic book was Neil Gaiman's Sandman, despite recent accusations of sexual harassment towards the writer that have come out. He assured me that he himself had no toxic masculinity despite the testosterone he injects each day. The fact that he was comfortable and disclosed his trans status made me happy. That we could talk about it in an off-hand way meant things have progressed.

Don't get me wrong, I sometimes wonder if gender re-assignment is for everyone who seeks it, because trans and the many other forms of gender and sexual orientation are sort of trendy right now, and I say that as someone who is technically part of the community but tends to see herself as an ally because she hasn't dated since 1994 and it's not really all that important to her identity. But the fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter if I approve or not, that is a personal choice, and it was obviously part of his identity, I'm glad we had that talk because people need to be able to live their lives accepted for who they are.

We never know what aspirations, thoughts, dreams, or feelings people really have when we interact with them each day. We aren't all mind-readers or true empaths. But we can be empathetic to them when they tell us (or show us) how they feel about themselves, and what they strive for (so long as it's not something like serial killing or world genocide, but I try not to interact with the true monsters in the world, at least if I can recognise them).

I'm sure there are plenty of people who would have reacted badly and called him a monster, which simply is not true. I don't understand why people focus so much on hate when they can be kind. We all have dark parts in our personalities and our souls, [I certainly can be a complete and utter terrible person on bad days], but we should be kind to each other, listen to each other, and try to make things better for other people and the world in general, and for ten minutes out of my week I felt a connexion because someone felt comfortable enough to share a bit of their life with me.

The last time I felt that way was when a young man excitedly told me he had just found out was autistic. He was so happy about his diagnosis, and I understand now, though I didn't really then, though I was happy he was happy. I'm sure it made things make more sense, and that is a very special feeling.

Both of those situations were cases of people who shared something about themselves that sometimes receive quite a bit of stigma. And we need to be open to, even if it's only a momentary glimpse into another person's life, of how important that is, and we can bond over that sort of thing as easily as we bond over comic books.

Worth a watch, I think

Eldorado is one of those documentaries that gives texture and context, faces and voices, to a well-chronicled period and set of circumstances. It does so with style, sensitivity, and a respect for the history it examines. Here we experience the decadence that thrived before the fall, at a hideaway for those whose differences would soon mark them for prison, exile, or, in many cases, death (it is estimated that between 5,000 and 15,000 gay people died in the concentration camps for violating Paragraph 175). We can’t change what hate looked like then. But it remains essential to take note and try to stop its encroachment now.

Netflix Exposes the Secret Gay History of Nazi Germany

So let me get this straight

The question of transgendered students' use of bathrooms aside, schools are resorting to having them wear an identifying badge of sorts (apparently without thinking of things like the use of yellow stars to identify Jews or pink triangles to identify gays, because, gosh darn it, they look like everyone else, so they have to have some sort of identifier). My mind is blown. The whole transgendered issue of bathrooms, which blew up this year so quickly and utterly, is the biggest red herring I've ever seen in my lifetime to distract people from more pressing dangers. Let people pee in peace. Any sort of 'examination' is an obvious human rights violation. People who actually identify with their birth gender are being harassed because they might be transgendered. Governors are using public funds to fight the government on its policy of allowing transgendered students to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with--in essence, to discriminate. My own state has joined that suit. :( Just let people pee in peace. I'm not saying bathrooms are completely safe--I know better. But it's not transgendered persons who are the problem. They are more likely to be targeted by the others using that bathroom than they are to be a danger, after all. And that's a problem with 'nice, normal' people, who put their prejudice into action.

Lawsuit: Trans Students Made to Wear Green Bracelets to ID Themselves

Powerful

Thanks to George Takei, who shared this on Upworthy and Facebook.

Well, that's different

Pregnant man tells Oprah: It's a miracle

Thomas Beatie is genetically a woman, but went through testosterone treatments and breast removal/reconstruction surgery to live as a transgendered male. Beatie is recognised by the state of Oregon as a man and is legally married to wife Nancy.

But Beatie never had the female sexual organs removed in the hopes of someday having a pregnancy. That day has come. It was accomplished through sperm from a bank. Beatie's doctor insists it's a normal pregnancy, with testosterone treatments having been halted two years ago and that the hormone levels are normal. This is actually Beatie's second pregnancy; the first was ectopic and required the Fallopian tubes to be removed. The baby is a little girl. I hope all goes well.