For being young and vulnerable to what people think enough to take your own life. To making stupid decisions that will shadow your own lives but more importantly spurred someone to take his own life. I'm not sure this is a great deal about bias--although it does play a part, and it is certainly about the difficulties of growing up gay in our society and the self-hatred that is promoted by our environment. It is certainly about invasion of privacy and actions that so should have been seen as wrong but in an adolescent's world might just have been seen as fun.
No one's laughing now, though.
NJ student's suicide resonates on campus, beyond
I feel very sad about Tyler Clementi's suicide. The music through which he expressed himself is gone, the potential is such a young man unrealised. His roomate and the roomate's friend showed terrible judgement and callousness for his feelings. I can't hold them directly liable for the suicide, however--that was an action (a horrific action) of free will in someone who was vulnerable. But I certainly think there will be legal and civil ramifications to their actions, and there should be.
But when it comes down to it, a lot of it is the nature of 18-year-olds to make bad decisions with strong repercussions, to care too strongly about what other people think, and to take action when it is better to step back and think things through.
I just wish Tyler Clementi had lived in a world where he would never have even considered jumping off a bridge, where he could have come to terms with his sexuality in peace, and where people would have expressed more outrage at his rights being violated than leaving chat comments asking if his roommate were okay, since he was living with a gay man. He was right to be angry over the violation of his privacy. And frankly, not much probably would have happened even going through channels. But I'm so sorry he took his life over something that, by no means trivial, still would have become a footnote in his life if he'd only had time.
That's one reason I really like Dan Savage's 'It Gets Better' project. I just hope more gay youth can get the message, before it's too late.
Please believe. No matter how awful things can get when you're young, adulthood gives you the freedom to make a life of your own. It gets better.
PS I found one of my elementary school friends had shared a video statement from Ellen DeGeneres on Facebook as well. I'm glad people are talking about and sharing things like this. I just wish it didn't take deaths to spur the conversation.
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