Got this in e-mail and loved it--and for you guys out there, some of us females are okay with these rules...or at least I am--although if we get lost, I'll get out and ask directions, okay?

> The Rules....this time by Men.
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these
> are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> bitching about you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
> find the perfect present yet again!
>
> 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>
> 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
> hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
> always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
> way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
> work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
>
> 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
> Remind us frequently beforehand.
>
> 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be
> any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
> with your dress?
>
> 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> 1. Check your oil! Please.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
> act like soap opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> answer.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>
> 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
> were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
> example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
> what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
> wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
> don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
> cars, sports, or music .
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some
> war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying
> anyway.)
>
> 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
> No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>
> 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
>
> Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
>
>
>