Ride is here, ready to go!

Tired

I spent two hours in the chair after PT put me there, which got a little uncomfortable. Part was fine. I ate both lunch and dinner there. The aide was overworked though, and it took the better part of an hour to get me to the bathroom and into the bed. I was, for the most part, understanding. I wasn't in dire need of the bathroom like earlier. But, they must be short staffed.

I did manage to get her to get my bag which allowed me to use my phone charging bank and my headband headphones, so now I can listen to some sort of music (such as Cian Ducrot), or the sixth chapter of Pox Romana by Colin Elliott. Currently it is the former.

I will say it takes a lot to move me. Take the ice off my right leg. Disconnect the two pads for the deep vein thrombosis therapy machine from my legs. Disconnect the oxygen reader. Make sure I transfer the nerve block pouch to the walker. Move the IV around the bed. Stand me to and turn me. Scooch up the bed. Sit me down. Get me in and positioned. Reattach everything. Put a sheet and blanket over me and tuck me in. My CPAP is on the table next to me, set up already. She gave my my backpack, which is also on the bed, on one side.


A few items are on the sliding table, such as the spirometer. After she leaves, a nurse comes in to give me my medicine including insulin, and I don't have enough water and the pitcher is empty. She goes to get some and I move the sliding table closer only to knock some out of my cup. It's shift change, and so she comes back with her replacement along with the replacement for the other aide and the introduce themselves and help me with the spill. So everything is good now. It's quiet (they almost all automatically close the door.) It's not quite dark. But everything's where it's supposed to be, I feel good, my DVT machine is squeezing my calves, the ice is just cool now and feels nice, and there's almost no real pain, maybe 2 at the absolute worst. Earlier today it was an 8. I'm interested in what the post-block pain will be, but still. This surgery has already made a huge difference.

I will say, Baptist has wonderful meals.

I'm in my room

I spent from 10 am till about maybe 1:30 pm recovering from the surgery, but mostly waiting for a room, because I came through everything very well. 😁 I just finished eating for the first time since last night. They gave me ice water and ice chips in the PACU, and I'd been directed to drink 20 oz. of Gatorade an hour before the procedure, and even though I went upon arriving, I didn't go to the bathroom until I was in the room where they had a walker for me. I suppose I could have asked, but I didn't. Anyway, it all worked out. My roommate and I visited for a bit. He said I was much more with it this time. That's for sure. I don't remember PACU at all from last time. I thought maybe it was a shorter time. But he said it was the same time it lasted even longer.

PT arrived just as my lunch did. I deferred my sandwich and chips with peaches to walk and do some testing. I was a little conservative in my walk; I didn't go as far as last time--all around the whole area unit. But I felt like my knee might buckle a little, like when it feels like it's going to go the wrong way--more than it did last time. But I was still walking heel to toe and was very natural in my gait with the walker. So that was good. Also, when they did the testing, my extension was, I think, four degrees, which was very good for right after a surgery when it should be zero, and my flexion was 84 degrees (and he wants 90 degrees in 3 weeks). Now, granted that was the netted knee and I am on a nerve block again--the little one that I carry around with me for 5 days that has a lidocaine-like drug on it.

Great. I finished my meal. My roommate left to take care of the animals, calling our ride. I don't have a smart bed this time to charge my phone, so I may have to have someone plug it in across the room for me.

Dr Talwalkar did speak to my friend very briefly and indicated that it was really, really bad in there, but didn't give specifics. I'm hoping to get some tomorrow.

I'm getting sleepy. I need to get someone to help with setting up my CPAP.

It's been a very rough start to 2017

My mom is back in the hospital. She spent six days in a rehabilitation centre, fell, showed major confusion, and wound up back in the university's emergency room. Thursday we had our first snow, which, while minor, wreaked havoc with the roads, followed by single digit and low teen temperatures. It took me two and a half hours to go from work, make a quick stop at Kroger, pick up A, take him home, and then go home myself. I got home about 7 pm. My stepfather barely got back to Danville, as I think they had more snow. That night, my mom's potassium was very high and they wanted someone there who was family, because they had to put in a central line and put her through dialysis to get it down, so about 10:30 pm I went over there, and she was coherent and awake, and we talked, and despite the fact that she was very sick and in the hospital, had a good visit. At one point there was a problem with the central line and they asked me to step out of the room for about 15 minutes, which stretched to an hour. I was in a small waiting/consultation room, and it was dim and quiet, and I nearly fell asleep. I finally got to go back in, and stayed a little while. But by 2 am, I'd been up for 22 hours straight and was afraid I wouldn't be able to drive home on the nasty roads if I stayed much longer. So I headed on home and went straight to bed, got about four hours' sleep, and went to work. I was struggling all day to stay awake. On Friday night I picked A up from where YKWIA was helping him job hunt. I took him home, and went and visited my mom in the observation area. But whe mostly slept, and when she id waken briefly, she didn't know I was there. The nurse did get her to drink her medicine, but beyond that she was unresponsive. I came on home about 11 pm and was very discouraged. My stepfather and I texted back and forth about DNRs and letting go. I updated my aunts. That sort of thing. I was pretty down.

Today I spent most of the day doing errands with friends, and instead of going over to visit my mom, I told my stepfather (who'd come over to find her awake and doing much better) that I would visit in the morning. I then proceeded to crash for four hours. I got up after 8:30, went to Kroger for a few things, where the checkout lane totally shut down and wouldn't scan, so we moved to another lane, and then I somehow didn't get a bag of bread, an apple, and bananas home with me, so I guess it got lost in the shuffle. :(

I feel stressed and anxious. I'm sad and angry and conflicted; the way my mom has bounced back and forth to various extremes is heart-wrenhxhibg. I've had a lot of responsibilities lately, a lot of appointments both for myself and YKWIA and I've been doing some extra projects at work, so I've been going in early. I think last night, when I slept for 8 hours, wa the most I've slept in over a month and a half. I've been averaging 4-5 hours a night, and it's been very broken sleep.

I should work on the house, which is reflecting all the inner emotions right now. Instead, I'm trying to calm myself down by listening to the Bastille Pandora station. It isn't helping. I feel bad for not seeing my mom today, although the rest did help a little.

A is going to call me later so I can pick him up at work by 1 am. BUt I think I may take some time to rest some more. I'm just not up to anything else, right now. Hope your new year is off to a better start.

Checking in

So,  as you can probably surmise from my lack of posts,  I've been very busy.

Monday I found out that everything was fine in terms of my gynaecological health,  and I took a friend to the doctor,  so I went in at 6 am so I could at least work half a day and still go to the two appointments.

Tuesday I worked from 7:45 am to 4:00, and had my counseling session.  I've been under a lot of stress lately,  and he  advised concentrating on maintaining the house and dealing tooth the stress rather than de-hoarding,  so I wouldn't get discouraged.

Wednesday I had PT after working from 6:15 to 4. While I was there,  my stepfather called to tell me my mom was in the hospital again,  this time at UK.  I got out of PT and took care of some things I'd promised to do,  and by the time I was finished it was 9, I was hurting quite a bit,  and was driving on empty, and I figured she was getting settled,  so I went home and went to bed early in the morning,  as I was getting up by 4:30 am.

Thursday I worked from 6:15 to 5, and I was tired,  but I went and visited my mom,  and she was doing pretty well in the ICU.

Today we were off for Christmas Eve,  which,  of course, is on the weekend this year.  I got the 32 hours I needed in this week,  and I have enough PTO for today.  I had a CT scan of my head and one of my lower back at Lexington Clinic first thing this morning,  and my doctor's office called me to let me know both scans were normal. I also went to the grocery,  the ATM,  the library to pick up a hold and pay a small fine,  and I got my allergy shots.  Then I came  home and treated for a bit.  I went to Gabriel Brothers and found 3 Lane Bryant bras for $5, rather than the normal $35. I also found a soft blanket for a friend's who needs his furnace replaced.  Important safety tip: when your friends gives you a smoke detector that doubles as a carbon monoxide detector, do not automatically take out the battery,  thinking it's your cooking.  The CO was being detected and was causing the alarm to go off.  But considering it was going off without a fire present,  the CO turned out to be an issue. After that,  I went home to relax for awhile. I visited with my stepfather and mom.  She was doing even better today. I could understand her and she was joking with John.  The resident said that the ammonia issue is a side effect of the procedure done last year to take care of the tumors she had on her liver at the time.  It was a necessary procedure but it cuts off some of the smaller blood vessels and affects the filtration by the liver.  The key,  he said,  was making sure she she took the lactolose like she should.  He's thinking she'll be an inpatient for at least a few days,  but moved out of the ICU. He thinks she should have some PT there before going back home and they will see about home health.  She's been in and out of the hospital,  so this could help build her strength.  But she's doing much better than she did at Danville's hospital, and I think they are more attentive at UK. She's still sick,  but at least UK seemed more optimistic than Danville,  which was ready to call on hospice and urged my stepfather to do a 'do not resecuitate'  order.  After that I went to YKWIA and he fed me and we watched two episodes of 'Shadowhunters',  which is expiring off his Hulu subscription by the end of the month.  Now I'm home.  It's been a productive day.

Tomorrow I have some things to do for YKWIA,  will visit my mom, and help cook for Sunday.  Sunday there is no game,  but A will come over and we'll all celebrate Christmas.

Monday I'm off for Christmas,  so we're doing Chanukah that night and I'll be making latkes.  Then it's back to long days, as my PTO will run out for Monday, 

It's back to work on Tuesday.  Here's to having a de-stressed holiday.

That's it.  Good night!

Some random thoughts...

• My thoughts are with the people of Paris tonight, in the wake of horrible attacks. As Ben Patrick Johnnson (@benpatrick90069 on Twitter) wrote: 'Let not the villainous actions of a few cloud our belief in the larger good of mankind.'
• My thoughts are with my co-worker, who, along with her husband and 2-year-old daughter, welcomed her newborn son into the world last night. (She managed to have him before Friday the 13th!)
• My thoughts are with my hospitalised family member, who is now off of the ventilator, thankfully. I'm going to go visit her in the morning.

Death, and life, all the points in between, we lead our lives with all the potential and failings inherent in being fully human.

I feel a little guilty

about not going to the hospital tonight after I got out of my appointment, but since they shut down visitation during shift change, I'd have had to gone about 8:30 pm, and from what I gather, nothing much has changed, except she was moved to another unit within the hospital and can squeeze a hand if asked, since she's on a ventilator and cannot speak. I did check with the nurse this morning and her husband tonight. Tomorrow I have yet another appointment after work, physical therapy, and so if she's still in the hospital Friday I'll visit. I would hope she wouldn't be, but I think she probably will. She's pretty sick. It's hard to see her like that, though, and I will say, her husband is doing a good job of being by her side, although I'm sure it's wearing on him. He'd driving home every night after being there all day to take care of his 93-year-old mother, a dog, and a cat, and then coming back each day, and he's about 45 minutes away one way, and he's no spring chicken. In the midst of some of her issues his dog had an infection and had to have emergency surgery and his sister died of a heart attack--so it's been a very rough two or three weeks for him.

I have a somewhat complicated relationship with her, and while we were very close, too close really, once upon a time, we don't see or talk to each other often. But I hate to see her suffering, and I do love her, and it's very sad and I just haven't processed it quite yet, her mortality. Getting older is no picnic, but being older and having multiple conditions any one of which can quickly kill you sucks majorly. It also makes me examine my own life and future, and maybe some changes I could make. I can't imagine losing her, but I'm very much afraid that I will, and soon--if not this hospitalisation, then one to come. It makes me very sad to think about it, although it's tempered by the reality being faced. And as difficult as it is for us to watch, it must be horrible for her. I know the tubes and wires are really making her uncomfortable, and she was obviously frustrated by not being able to speak. My hope is that she can get off all of that and return home, and soon, to her pining cat, crazy dog, and her husband. I know that's where she would want.

Home and tired, ready for bed

I made a special trip to Danville this evening after work to visit my mom, who is in the hospital, and this greeted me as I pulled into my apartment complex afterwards. Pretty, yes?

Sorry I didn't write last night; my stepfather and I and a friend and I were exchanging phone calls regarding my mom, who is being a somewhat difficult patient, but otherwise I think should be doing better soon, or at least let's hope so. I brought her a pretty pink-and-yellow miniature rose to help cheer her up.

I did get word from the Kentucky NAMI group that I am officially accepted as a teacher for the Family-to-Family class and they've sent the agenda for the training, which is pretty intensive; essentially all eleven classes are covered, with additional information, in a two-day training. But I am excited. And even though driving up is still a little anxiety-producing, I did well in rush-hour traffic down a state road today, so that was good practice. The training is at Sullivan in Louisville, and that's where Brenda takes her son for his classes, so I think I'll ask her about the construction I've heard about.

I got a note on my door this evening from my leasing agent about expanded options for lease renewals that include an 18-month lease with only $5 increase in rent. I think I'll take that one. I've been here for 10 years and don't anticipate moving any time soon.

Okay, I've gotten home, I've alerted my friend that I'm back, have eaten a McDonald's double-filet-of-fish meal, and am a bit pooped. I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning because it's my allergy shot day and I go into work early. So I'm heading to bed, I think. Good night!

It's good to feel you have a purpose in your work

A bomb burned his body, but not this 6-year-old Afghan boy's spirit

This highlights a little bit of what some of the hospitals in the system I work for do. It's also a testament to the human toll of war. I hope this little boy can have a normal life ahead of him.