A nifty find

Emotional impairment linked to cognitive deficits in children with bipolar disorder

By doing brain imaging during trials in which children 12-18 associated positive or negative words with colours, it was discovered that in unmedicated bipolar subjects who had normal mood, the words triggered the emotional centres of the brain. Specifically, negative words, compared to neutral words, stimulated the amygdala, which is apparently over-sensitive to negative stimuli in bipolar people. Positive words triggered the part of the brain that is associated with pleasure and addiction. In healthy subjects, positive and negative words both stimulated the areas for reasoning, thinking, and learning.

So in bipolar children, there is apparently an emotional overreaction and a cognitive underreaction.

Hmmm...this could explain some things in my own experience. I am very much driven by my emotions, for one, and tend to overreact to what people say and give them emotional values that are not necessarily how they were intended. And as I've written recently, I find that my emotional side interferes with my ability to think and reason, and it seems to be getting worse.

The question then is whether the medicine that helps keep my mood even could help my brain chemistry so that it's not as likely to do this, or if it's simply an aspect of brain development and structure that can only partially be controlled. Alternatively, can I through training in logic and self-control change how my brain reacts to stimuli, or is it set in stone? I'd like to think it would be the former.

The more I learn about this, the more I realise that 1) the diagnosis is correct and 2) it's affecting a huge chunk of my life, even though I'm not a truly severe case. It also underscores that this disorder rather sucks. It's not as glamourous as one might think, given the stories of mad inspiration of poets, artists, etc. I am a creative person, but not exceedingly so; I seem less creative on the medicine, less able to make leaps. But it's a good tradeoff, since the ups and downs are so deceptively enticing (in the case of the ups) and eroding (in the case of the downs), plus I'm not having trouble getting to work or things like I do when I tend to be more depressive (which is the direction I lean to, anyway). Still, I have to admit, I miss the mania a little, although I don't miss the results (overspending, euphoric plans, bad decisions). But at least with the medicine change I am having the full range of emotions; I don't think I was on Paxil.

Which reminds me. I have to get my Lamictal and Provigil filled today. Let me go find those prescriptions....