The key to finding the wisdom concealed in conflict is to ask yourself why you clash with a particular person or situation. Your inner self or the universe may be trying to point you to a specific life lesson, so try to keep your ears and eyes open. Once you have explored the internal and external roots of your disagreement, make a conscious effort to release any anger or resentment you feel. As you do so, the energy between you and your adversary with change perceptibly.... Consider that each of you likely has compelling reasons for thinking and feeling as you do, and accept that you have no power to change your adversary's mind. This can help you approach your disagreement rationally, with a steady voice and a willingness to compromise.
Last night I got so frustrated with someone that I had a full-blown two-year old foot stomping, flailing-arm fit, something that I haven't done in a long, long time. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I hadn't been on my meds for a couple of days. But the fact is that frustration is an incredibly difficult thing for me to handle, and my emotional control slips when I feel that everything I say is being cooly examined logically and that I cannot seem to express myself and carry on a conversation with this person as I get more and more frustrated. In other words, I'm approaching things irrationally and cannot seem to communicate without getting emotional.
I'm acutely embarrassed by my behaviour and want to change it. But I also want to converse without feeling like I'm in a Socratic exercise. Let's just say I understand why the Gadfly was asked to drink poison. But this person is also a great part of my life, a true, honest friend, who helps bring truth and enlightenment into my life. I just don't know how to keep my cool sometimes.
It's my reactions, usually emotional, to what is said--often things which are rather benign--that are the problem, sometimes to a point where I'm really no longer listening to what is said, but rather what I think in my head is going on with the conversation. The more logical the other side gets, the more emotional I seem to.
Well, I'll just have to persevere and hope that I can get a little more emotional control (grow up, as it were). I'll certainly have the practice, unless I cross a line somewhere where we can't recover the friendship. Let's hope that never happens.
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