I have never resorted to 'Cliff Notes' of a book

especially for a piece of fiction that I've been reading for pleasure. But I give up. I have been checking out Jim Butcher's Small Favor for a year or so, only getting through about half the book. If I can get through the story, I can read the others on my Kindle, and therefore have it close at hand and read in those moments I'm out and about (I hate to say it, but I don't have a really good setup at home to read. I just fall asleep in the bedroom and it needs more light. The living room is okay, but not really the best.)

Anyway, I did the unthinkable, as the book is due back to the library today. I went to Wikipedia and read the plot line, which is fairly detailed, taking in the spoilers and filing them away so I can try Turn Coat and see if the block lifts. I've never really heard of reader's block, and I've read other books while trying to get through this. It's not bad. It holds my attention. I just don't do so well at sitting down and reading it for any length of time. I have had similar issues with Charlaine Harris' Grave Secret.

Oh, well. I'll take the book back, download Turn Coat (assuming it's available), and go from there. But I can't count this book as read.

Book #1 for the year

Okay, I didn't start it in 2011, but I finished it today, so I'm going to count it. It's White Night by Jim Butcher, #9 of the Dresden Files series, and I read it on the Kindle. I'll try to do a proper review of it sometime this week, but suffice to say it is a typical no-holds-barred smashem-up that I expect of Harry Dresden, plus a lot of inter-character conflict and bringing in a bunch of the secondary characters for the fun. So it was a nice, wild ride, and I enjoyed it.

I have a book out from the library that is unfortunately due tomorrow and can't be renewed because it's on hold. I hate 14-day books, especially when you get them over the holidays. I should have taken it with me when I went to my grandmother's. I may just have to let that go and read it later in the year. It's Running the Books: the Adventures of an Accidental Prison Librarian by Avi Steinberg. But I'm going to look through it tonight and see whether I want to go ahead and request it later.

Here's a book-related quote I found

My original Star Wars poster had survived the attack, though my library of paperbacks had taken a real beating. Those darned zombies, they always dog-ear the pages and crack the spines the minute they've done oozing foul goop and smashing up furniture.

--Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty [The Dresden Files, Book 8]

I love Harry Dresden. Besides, it's the only series of books I've ever read that had flying flaming daemonic monkey poo.

Oh, no!

The book I got the Barnes & Noble card for, HP Lovecraft: The Fiction (Library of Essential Writers), which was published in October, is already sold out online in the time it took me to get the card. Eeek! I've requested a reserve at my local store if at all possible, so hopefully they'll have it. I'm not sure if the card can be used in store or only online, but hopefully it will be the former. That might actually work in my favour, since in order to not pay shipping I'd have had to have an order totalling $25, and this would be about $14 before the $10 gift card, if the price is the same as it was online. Granted, I'd considered getting the next two Jim Butcher Dresden Files books that I don't own (#6 and #7), but things are tight and I can get those later.

Bad, bad

I should have done notes after I came home and read the news in Google Reader, since I'm woefully behind, but I got sucked into the last part of the fourth Harry Dresden book, Summer Knight, by Jim Butcher. How can your resist a war between the Courts of Faerie? The sad thing? It's almost midnight and I find myself pining for bed, and I still have a couple of chapters to go, so that must wait until tomorrow. It looks like I'll have some extra time to work on notes on Friday, at least.

I have a slew of stories and other oddities to blog about as well, but I'm just too tired. It hasn't been a rough day, really, although I got up early this morning and did laundry, then fell asleep and missed the bus, so I was late to work. After work I finished all the stuff I didn't get done before the game on Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow will be better; my plan is to get up early and go on in on the bus ahead of the one I normally take so I can stop by Walgreens for some supplies and cash. It's looking like Friday's the day for getting the car towed and the brake job estimated. I'm not sure I'll be able to get it done then; I may have to wait depending on how large a bill it will be.

Gah. It's always something, isn't it?

PS We're really close to the climax of Beyond the Mountains of Madness. It's looking to be sad and dangerous. The suspense is getting me already.

Have a good Pesach (Passover)

Listening to: The Bravery - 'Believe'
Reading: Grave Peril by Jim Butcher

should you celebrate it. My favourite seder moment: when my best friend, who is Jewish, introduced T, another friend, to both gefilte fish and horseradish. T put the horseradish on the fish in a fairly generous proportion instead of to the side. I loved her face when she bit into it. That was the dinner where we chopped vegetables for hours. Now he has a food processor, yay!

I used to think I liked touch screens

Listening to: Ferras 'Hollywood's Not America' (embedding disabled)
Reading: Fool Moon by Jim Butcher

until I spent a 10-hour shift either fighting one because the calibration was so far off that I couldn't make the button that allows you to calibrate come up and the other part not on the register because it was completely locked up and a technician had to come and totally change out the monitor, whilst people piled up to the door and I tried to clean and stock without seeming to be ignoring them, apologising the whole day for the inconvenience. Plus, we had a drive-off, and I think my co-worker, under whose name it was (obviously, since I couldn't set pumps) very nearly quit on the spot.

But it all worked out. The thing was still giving me fits after the guy replaced it, but at least with a lot of effort I could get the keys to work, hitting them in the upper left of each button. I got it down almost to a precision, so things were working out. Then the guy coming in for me managed to get the calibration button to work and the whole thing worked like it should.

Ugh. I am ready for bed. I should have known it would be a bad day when I went in and my first customer asked me where everything he needed for his coffee was, even though he was within a foot of each one. It's one thing if a person overlooks an item like stirrers, or cups, or lids. It's another if you have to ask for each and every one, unless you're visually impaired. He wasn't. And all the coffees are labelled (and there is a standard of orange being decaffeinated amongst restaurants and retailers), but each one and its difference had to be discussed--and I don't even drink coffee normally, so I don't much to draw on as to nuances. I am a helpful creature by nature, annoyingly so at times. But even I have limits. I thought I was going to have to pay for his coffee and drink it myself--he needed everything else shown or done for him.

Of course it's better than Thursday when I went in and found that a woman had just left the bathroom, basically spreading foeces all about the toilet, on the wall, in the sink, in the trash can, on the trash can--you get the idea. And we're not talking small amounts, either. I don't even know how she got some of it where it was. I probably should have checked the ceiling. What person does this in a public restroom? Who would even do it at home? Argh.

It's days like this I wonder about whether I should be in a service profession. But I feel much better for venting. Thank you for reading.

It's a beautiful day

Reading: Club Dead by Charlaine Harris

although I slept through some of it, given that that Saturday and Sunday nights I had four hours' worth of sleep each and last night I had a complete emotional purge and breakdown when some very deep psychological wounds were opened up and debrided. I think in the long run, I needed it. It let me know some of the things I have to change in my life. I was up pretty late with that, and overwrought, then came home and left my usual monthly libation to Hekate, praying I would find my way. I suppose it's good to approach a Goddess of madness when you're dealing with strong emotions, because afterwards I was calm and drained. As a result, today I overslept by over two hours and missed an appointment that unfortunately wasn't mine to miss (I was taking someone to theirs). So it wasn't a good beginning of the day.

I wound up doing my couple of hours of notes and then coming back home to rest, sleeping from 1 pm to about 5:30. It was nice to have an open window with the sun and a breeze streaming in, the forsythia outside blazing yellow. I went out to get some distilled water, quarters for laundry, and laundry detergent. As I was driving I noticed a big soap bubble drifting on the breeze, then another. Apparently someone was making bubbles, but there was no one in sight. There's no telling how far those bubbles made it. It was a cheering thought.

My clothes are drying now and then afterwards I'm going to head over to a friend's for awhile. In addition to laundry I also did a little organising. I'm trying to find two books. One is a collector's book for those state quarters, of which I have a few to put in. The other is Wizard for Hire, a compilation of the first three books of Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files series. I'd like to read that once I get through re-reading the three Sookie Stackhouse mysteries I own. But I can't find it anywhere...just its dust jacket. I have the second three now and I'd like to finish the first three, but I have to find it first. I actually ventured into my closets, which mainly contain comics and literature/general fiction/children's literature.

I'm off tomorrow (I've actually been off Monday and today, too) for my birthday and I'm thinking of going to the lunch buffet at India Garden, a new Indian restaurant near me. Afterwards maybe I'll sort through and straighten some things and see if I can find those books. I also need to get a haircut and renew my driver's licence soon.

I feel like tomorrow is a new year. I guess it is for me personally. I'll be forty-one. It's time for me to really embrace my age, to let go of the bad things about my childhood (which comprise most of it) and work on doing things I've dreamt about. I need to really get a sense of self, so that I can finally have some self-esteem and perhaps a relationship. I feel so empty sometimes. For years I was a mirror to anyone else who paid the slightest attention to me. I've worked very hard at being what they wanted me to be, to not living up to my own potential so that I would not surpass them, to turning off my brain and refusing to use my intelligence. It's left me with incredible depths of anger and resentment. I tapped into those last night, and they didn't so much scare me as sadden me. I am more than just anger. I am more than just neurons firing randomly to produce emotions. It's like inside I am a charred, twisted child afraid of the light, yet at the same time I have a luminous and good spirit. I need to heal the one and join them together. I haven't been living life very deeply, and I need to while there is still life to live.