So today's my 42nd birthday. Does that mean I get the answers to life, the universe, and everything now? (Sorry, geeky Douglas Adams humour, there.)
So far it's been nice. I'm off both jobs. I slept in until 10 am (normally I have to get up by 9). I took a nice long bath. I've been listening to meditative music and looking up some stuff online. My plan is to take a gift card Margaret gave me for Yule and go to the cinema and watch
Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D. Later in the evening a friend and I plan to go out for Indian food. Yay for vegetable pakora, korma, and pishwari naan!
Last night I treated myself to two very nice African violet plants from Kroger. One is a dark purple; the other a pretty medium one. They were 2/$5. I think I'll keep them at home rather than take them into the office and see how they do here. They've each got quite a few buds on them. Violets are so perky and uplifting, don't you think? I have one at the office in rest mode (not-presently-blooming) that has white blooms with purple edges, so they're all different.
I came across this true-crime story today (it's several years old now; I think the killing was in 2004)--and yes, I'm a true-crime junkie, I know. I cannot imagine a jury convicting the killer at all. I think justice was served--she plead guilty to manslaughter, was given credit for time served in jail awaiting trial, and was put on five-year probation in lieu of a 10-year sentence. I certainly don't believe she deserved life in prison or the death penalty. In
'He Was Never Going to Harm My Daughter Again', they give the details of the case. It was also presented on the show 'Snapped'. Her teenage daughter had accused her stepfather of sexually abusing her, but he convinced everyone, including the social workers, that she was lying--so well that the daughter was prosecuted for making a false claim. But a year later the daughter, now seven months' pregnant, told her mother about a videotape which the mother viewed which did, indeed, show him to be abusing her daughter. The woman took a 20-gauge shotgun and shot him in the head whilst he slept. Once the police found the tape, they let her go, but prosecutors brought the case forward, eventually making the plea offer, which she took. I think she could have gotten out of it without any conviction--a jury would not have convicted her of either murder or manslaughter for that matter, in my opinion. Especially since 1) her lawyer interviewed his sisters, whom he'd also sexually abused as both minors and adults and 2) the DNA test on the son born to the daughter showed that the stepfather was the father. He was a sick, sick bastard and although I hate to say that some people just need killing, this is a case that would be hard to argue against. I hope the family has been able to get a great deal of therapy. I know there was a potential lawsuit against the professionals who failed to believe the girl and remove the danger of more abuse, but I don't know how that has come out.
I do know I'd never agree to convict her of murder if I were on a jury, given the evidence. Yes, she did it, but given the abuse--both the heinous nature of the abuse against the daughter and then also the isolation and abuse the mother had endured, I can't call what she did cold-blooded murder, although of course she did kill him, and given her mental state at the time, manslaughter is probably appropriate. My opinion would be to let her walk, but I'd have had to have gone with manslaughter given the evidence. One thing I've learnt through jury service is you have to very carefully weigh the evidence and not let emotions sway you. Still, I'm glad I've only served on a civil case and not a murder trial. Not all cases are as easy as this one.
She was just a year younger than me. I understand how isolation and abuse can mess with your psychology--I've been there, trust me--and she's right, emotional abuse leaves some of the worst scars, even though many people see physical abuse as worse than mere words. But that's not necessarily the case at all. In my opinion, sexual abuse is the worst, but emotional abuse is a close second. It erodes self-esteem, changes how a person thinks and interacts, and can make someone nearly incapable of taking their fate into their own hands. But it's so freeing when you do get out from under the abuse, let me tell you. I'm just glad that in my own past I've been able to walk away, cut off ties, and not had to worry about being pursued further. Most abusers are cowards. But then you get the psychos who won't let go and do things like shoot up nursing homes trying to kill their ex-wife, that kind of thing.
And it's not just men--I once got caught up in a scary divorce where the wife snapped and 1) presented a false claim of threat to get an emergency protective order, listing me as a witness when there had been no threat of violence at all, 2) stalked her husband all around town (that EPO needed to be mutual, or at least against her, let me tell you), and 3) she even stole paperwork out of the records office and scribbled madly over the divorce documents, then got the commissioner to try to blackmail me into giving her back a repossessed car (she'd not made payments on) before the divorce could proceed. Fortunately everything worked out well in the end and she was exposed as the psycho crazy woman she was, the husband was able to get his divorce/remarry, and I got to keep the car. Moral of the story, never get involved with crazy people's divorces. By comparison mine was a piece of cake.
Gee, I've known a lot of crazy people in my life, people who make me seem terribly sane and rational. Fortunately they aren't in my life anymore, and let me tell you, that's a blessing.
