We need more advocates in all communities

Now granted, I don't really know the situation, so this man might be an absolute nutjob for all I know, but he seems to be honestly bringing to light child sexual abuse within his community. And after all, it exists in every community, regardless of religion or culture. So I'm glad to see he is expected to recover. He's certainly very outspoken, has been ostracised by many in the community (a Hasidic ambulance service apparently wouldn't pick him up; he had to wait for the EMS, according to one report I saw), and he's angered many with his very public accusations. But someone has to be an advocate for children abused in this and every setting, and they shouldn't have people attacking them in the streets. The attack comes just a day after the conviction of Nechemya Weberman, who was accused of sexually abusing a girl who had come to him for counselling.

Chemical Thrown at Rabbi Who Aided Victims of Abuse

An outspoken advocate for child sexual abuse victims in the Satmar Hasidic community was injured by a chemical he believed to be bleach that was thrown in his face as he walked down the street in his Williamsburg, Brooklyn, neighborhood on Tuesday.

The advocate, Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg, who runs a Web site and telephone call-in line that publicizes claims of sexual abuse in the ultra-Orthodox community, said in an interview at the hospital where he was treated that he was walking on Roebling Street about noon when a man came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“He has a cup of bleach,” Rabbi Rosenberg said, adding that he recognized the man. “And then he says ‘whoops’ and throws it in my face and walks off.”

If the evidence supports the claim

then I for one would have a hard time either sending this case to trial or convicting a father who found someone molesting his five-year-old daughter. Normally I would say there is a line between stopping him from doing so, and beating him to death. But I can see someone easily crossing that line with a child at risk, without really considering how deadly their punches were in the heat of the moment. Granted, that is also why we have manslaughter vs. murder charges. I suppose we'll see how the justice system will deal with the case. But I wouldn't want to be on the grand jury or any other jury on this one.

A few years ago, when I was on a jury (thankfully, a civil case), I was asked about cases I did not feel I could serve on. I said that one was a death penalty case, and the other would be any case involving the sexual abuse of a child. I did a very good job of sticking to the facts and letting no emotion in the case I served on (as opposed to several other jurors; thankfully on a civil case you just have to get 9 our of 12, because I was the one sticking, of all things, to logic and facts, whereas others were bringing up similar situations (in their minds) that family had gone through, etc.) But in the sort of cases mentioned above, I don't know if I could keep my emotions in check. Hopefully it won't come up again.

Small Texas community stands by man who killed daughter's alleged abuser

A former student looks at the institutionalised culture of molestation in his school

Prep-School Predators: The Horace Mann School’s Secret History of Sexual Abuse

It's a disturbing look at lives damaged and eyes averted in the long term at a prep school in New York.

Some people are trying the old 'she was dressed provocatively' schtick

to defend the star athletes and others charged with repeatedly attacking and having sex with a girl. Okay, in any case, how a woman dresses should not make her culpable for rape. I'm not saying in every case a woman is totally blameless for the events leading to a rape. But...

She's eleven.

18 arrested in assaults on 11-year-old Texas girl: The investigation began Dec. 1 after a friend of the girl told a teacher he had seen the video of one of the alleged attacks

As many as 28 males from middle school age up to their 20s may be charged. At least three attacks are alleged, the latest one (over Thanksgiving break) videoed on a cell phone and the video passed around school.

I don't care if a sexually mature eleven year old comes up to a man and tells her to take her now, she's not emotionally mature enough to understand the consequences. That's why we have this thing called statutory rape. And thirteen of those arrested were adult men who certainly should know having sex with an 11-year-old--whether consenting or not--is wrong. I'm not saying any of these men are guilty--that's for the courts to decide--but if the allegations are correct (and let's face it, if you're going to gang rape someone, passing around a cell phone getting images of it is very, very stupid), then this was a despicable series of acts that just goes beyond the pale.

Kudos to the friend who spoke up. He may have saved her life.

A family of predators

Fermanagh village faced a 'tidal wave of abuse'

A village in County Fermanagh faced a "tidal wave" of sex abuse from four brothers, a judge has said.

He was sentencing John Michael McDermott, 60, of Moorlough Road, Donagh, for 35 charges of sexually abusing children over 30 years.

He was jailed for nine years and given three years probation. His most serious crime was the rape of a boy.

Two of his brothers - mentally unfit to stand trial - were given lifetime sexual offences prevention orders.

James, 61, and Owen Roe McDermott, 52, were banned from schools and playgrounds in the village and from having access to anyone aged under 16.

A fourth brother killed himself after the start of his trial last month.

Peter Paul McDermott, 62, was found hanged near his home.

How horrible. Their debased crimes spanned decades and destroyed the childhoods of both boys and girls in this Northern Irish village. They themselves apparently grew up in what was described as a family with 'a highly deviant culture of sexually abusing children'. Nothing can undo their horrific acts, but at least their offences have come to light and steps have been taken to protect the children of the village. Personally I think if the two brothers are mentally unfit to stand trial, they should be committed rather than just given prevention orders, though.

That is it...gloves off

I'm not Catholic, hey, I'm not even Christian, so when the Cardinals voted someone with Nazi ties to the papacy, I said nothing here. It was an 'internal matter', after all. When the latest sex abuse scandal broke with papal ties to a coverup and the same Pope made it seem like poor him and isn't that awful, and who cares about the victims anyway, I didn't say anything on this forum, either, because I'm not anti-Catholic and didn't want to seem to be. I actually liked the last Pope pretty well.

Then this, on Good Friday, during Pesach, no less:

Pope's preacher compares abuse row to anti-Semitism

Pope Benedict's personal preacher has compared criticism of the pontiff and Church over child abuse to "collective violence" suffered by the Jews.

Say what????

So this case--in which, incidentally, the victims are people who were abused as boys and girls whose trust of priests led them to betrayal and exploitation, and not the pontiff or the offending priests, at all, let us remember--the pope's personal preacher believes that the Church's suffering is equal to the millions upon millions of Jews killed in the Holocaust, in pogroms, in various anti-Semitic attacks over the ages, often from a mistaken Christian belief that Jews killed Jesus?

Granted, the Pope was not sitting in his infalliable chair putting this forth as doctrine. But it was a comment from someone in his entourage, who was no doubt picked for that position and will probably not be reassigned or censured for his offensive remarks, so he might as well be talking for the Church.

The Vatican is out of touch with many of its Western adherents, and it's out of touch with good marketing/crisis control. It should welcome the prosecution of predatory priests, not cover their activities up--because what they're doing is unholy. Just yesterday I read that the Pope himself, as a head of state in Vatican City, need not testify about the cover ups because he has immunity. How absolutely fortunate for him. And it may hinder the prosecution. But you know what? If I were Catholic (and fortunately I never was, as the indoctrination of Catholicism is harder to escape that that of any other Christian sect, I believe), this would really rock my faith in the Church terribly, if there were any faith left at all to have.

Is there any way to recall a Pope? Weren't there ways in the Middle Ages, or did they just poison them? I should know but papal history rather bored me--so many Roman numbers. Can the College of Cardinals go back and say, sorry, Satan showed up that day and made us do it?

They're going to have to do something to deal with this disease from within the Church to reassure their followers that they still have the ticket to God's plan, or suffer schism or flat out emigration from the ranks to other faiths (if any). And so far, they've been ineffective, clueless, and offensive. If they were an individual they could just go into rehab and apologise, but they are the premiere institution of faith in all of Christendom, celebrating their holiest time of the year, and failing miserably to inspire anyone to the goodness of the message. And that's rather sad.

Okay, enough ranting, my pizza is here.

Good (riddance)

Man gets 120 years in child porn case: Ex-girlfriend is already in prison for filming man's attempted rape of infant

They don't mention the possibility of parole, something I hope he never gets. He had over a million child pornography images on his computer and molested who knows how many children. More than one girlfriend helped him in this. The man is sick and deserves to be put away far from children for the rest of his life. Kudos to the young woman who came forward as a teenager and who is now a 21-year-old wife and expectant mother. She approached authorities after seeing an episode of Law & Order regarding child sexual abuse.

My hope is that the children and their families are able to get the counseling they need to soften the effects of the abuse (I don't know if you ever really overcome it, to be honest, but you can come close).

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me

So today's my 42nd birthday. Does that mean I get the answers to life, the universe, and everything now? (Sorry, geeky Douglas Adams humour, there.)

So far it's been nice. I'm off both jobs. I slept in until 10 am (normally I have to get up by 9). I took a nice long bath. I've been listening to meditative music and looking up some stuff online. My plan is to take a gift card Margaret gave me for Yule and go to the cinema and watch Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D. Later in the evening a friend and I plan to go out for Indian food. Yay for vegetable pakora, korma, and pishwari naan!

Last night I treated myself to two very nice African violet plants from Kroger. One is a dark purple; the other a pretty medium one. They were 2/$5. I think I'll keep them at home rather than take them into the office and see how they do here. They've each got quite a few buds on them. Violets are so perky and uplifting, don't you think? I have one at the office in rest mode (not-presently-blooming) that has white blooms with purple edges, so they're all different.

I came across this true-crime story today (it's several years old now; I think the killing was in 2004)--and yes, I'm a true-crime junkie, I know. I cannot imagine a jury convicting the killer at all. I think justice was served--she plead guilty to manslaughter, was given credit for time served in jail awaiting trial, and was put on five-year probation in lieu of a 10-year sentence. I certainly don't believe she deserved life in prison or the death penalty. In 'He Was Never Going to Harm My Daughter Again', they give the details of the case. It was also presented on the show 'Snapped'. Her teenage daughter had accused her stepfather of sexually abusing her, but he convinced everyone, including the social workers, that she was lying--so well that the daughter was prosecuted for making a false claim. But a year later the daughter, now seven months' pregnant, told her mother about a videotape which the mother viewed which did, indeed, show him to be abusing her daughter. The woman took a 20-gauge shotgun and shot him in the head whilst he slept. Once the police found the tape, they let her go, but prosecutors brought the case forward, eventually making the plea offer, which she took. I think she could have gotten out of it without any conviction--a jury would not have convicted her of either murder or manslaughter for that matter, in my opinion. Especially since 1) her lawyer interviewed his sisters, whom he'd also sexually abused as both minors and adults and 2) the DNA test on the son born to the daughter showed that the stepfather was the father. He was a sick, sick bastard and although I hate to say that some people just need killing, this is a case that would be hard to argue against. I hope the family has been able to get a great deal of therapy. I know there was a potential lawsuit against the professionals who failed to believe the girl and remove the danger of more abuse, but I don't know how that has come out.

I do know I'd never agree to convict her of murder if I were on a jury, given the evidence. Yes, she did it, but given the abuse--both the heinous nature of the abuse against the daughter and then also the isolation and abuse the mother had endured, I can't call what she did cold-blooded murder, although of course she did kill him, and given her mental state at the time, manslaughter is probably appropriate. My opinion would be to let her walk, but I'd have had to have gone with manslaughter given the evidence. One thing I've learnt through jury service is you have to very carefully weigh the evidence and not let emotions sway you. Still, I'm glad I've only served on a civil case and not a murder trial. Not all cases are as easy as this one.

She was just a year younger than me. I understand how isolation and abuse can mess with your psychology--I've been there, trust me--and she's right, emotional abuse leaves some of the worst scars, even though many people see physical abuse as worse than mere words. But that's not necessarily the case at all. In my opinion, sexual abuse is the worst, but emotional abuse is a close second. It erodes self-esteem, changes how a person thinks and interacts, and can make someone nearly incapable of taking their fate into their own hands. But it's so freeing when you do get out from under the abuse, let me tell you. I'm just glad that in my own past I've been able to walk away, cut off ties, and not had to worry about being pursued further. Most abusers are cowards. But then you get the psychos who won't let go and do things like shoot up nursing homes trying to kill their ex-wife, that kind of thing.

And it's not just men--I once got caught up in a scary divorce where the wife snapped and 1) presented a false claim of threat to get an emergency protective order, listing me as a witness when there had been no threat of violence at all, 2) stalked her husband all around town (that EPO needed to be mutual, or at least against her, let me tell you), and 3) she even stole paperwork out of the records office and scribbled madly over the divorce documents, then got the commissioner to try to blackmail me into giving her back a repossessed car (she'd not made payments on) before the divorce could proceed. Fortunately everything worked out well in the end and she was exposed as the psycho crazy woman she was, the husband was able to get his divorce/remarry, and I got to keep the car. Moral of the story, never get involved with crazy people's divorces. By comparison mine was a piece of cake.

Gee, I've known a lot of crazy people in my life, people who make me seem terribly sane and rational. Fortunately they aren't in my life anymore, and let me tell you, that's a blessing.

All I can say are there are such fiends out there as most people cannot imagine

and one of them lives in my town...

Ky. Toddler Who Was Raped And Beaten Dies

Brian Matthew Crabtree, 18, has been charged with first-degree rape, first-degree sexual abuse and first-degree assault after admitting that he raped the child, although he's pleading not-guilty. She was only two years old.

Oh, God, he even looks evil

Cringing jurors watch Duncan torture boy on tape

[Joseph Edward Duncan III] kidnapped the boy, Dylan Groene, and his sister, Shasta, in May 2005 after murdering their older brother, their mother and her fiance in the Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, area.

Eventually he shot the boy in the abdomen and then point-blank in the head, killing him in front of his sister. Dylan was 9; his sister was only 8 at the time.

A quote from the video:

'The devil is here, boy, the devil himself. The demon couldn't do what the devil sent him to do so the devil came himself. The devil likes to watch children suffer and cry.'

The jury is trying to decide whether he is eligible for the death penalty. I have doubts about the death penalty myself, but if there is anyone who needs removing from our society, it's this man.

I was listening to

'Never Too Late' by Three Days Grace, which has been in my head of late. (I can't embed the video.) The video is about a woman who was molested as a child and has to conquer her inner daemons to be free at last. They did a good job with it. My favourite part is the handprints all over the room, symbolising the molestation. It has been pretty controversial due to its theme.

That got me thinking of a video YKWIA showed me, an educational video on not talking to strangers. I'd say it's from the 1950s or early 1960s. This messed-up town is full of paedophiles, but the twins avoid them at every turn:



Unfortunately, it's not always strangers that pose a danger to children. I know that from my own experiences. I just hope someday I can conquer my daemons, too.