Mortality has been on my mind a lot of late

In seems like everywhere I look, things are hastening to their natural end. Tonight one of my beloved ‘nieces’, a collie shepherd who is about 16 years old, has been doing very poorly. Something has hurt her; I don’t think it was another dog, but she’s bloody under her right ear, and is very unsteady on her feet and more out of it than normal (and lately the senior moments have been more numerous than when she’s alert). So far, even when she’s slowed down, she’s come back and done pretty well. But she was obviously wanting to drink earlier, had her mouth right over the water, and couldn’t seem to. That’s not a good sign. My friends are going to call the vet first thing in the morning and see if they can get her an appointment. We did go ahead and give her the arthritis medicine in the hopes that it would help with some of the pain. The other dogs usually give her a wide berth because she is old and cranky, and there’s been no known dog fight or anything. It’s possible she tangled with something out in the bushes or got trapped and pulled loose. We don’t really know. But hopefully tomorrow at least the vet can see her and make her more comfortable. But we may be looking at the end. She’s been a wonderful and loyal dog. Considering her size, her age is remarkable. I do hope she’ll be alright, but I’m steeling myself for if she’s not.

Today I had my second performance appraisal in a week; I have two jobs at the hospital. I got pretty high marks, and I’ll be getting a raise (yay!) In the first appraisal, I was very candid with my primary boss about looking for another job, and she agreed that I had to pursue what’s best for me. In the second appraisal, my other boss asked me what my plans were at this point, when the hospital shuts down and moves to a new building as an ambulatory care centre. I explained that best case scenario, I find another job that has benefits and is full time. While I could stay to the bitter end and collect a severance, be eligible for unemployment, and have health care for a limited time, it’s very uncertain as to the particulars, a lot of the severance would go to taxes (although I’d get some back as a refund the next year), etc. I did tell him that I will have been here 20 years come next year, right before the move, and I’ll also be turning 50 (another reason mortality has been on my mind as of late), and it will be harder to be looking for a job. And I may need to look outside of the library field, maybe do something along the line of my second job in revenue cycle, if possible. We further discussed that if something did come up in the hospital, I would consider staying, although I’d probably have to take a pay cut, because my library rate is very good, and even though my charge capture position is much lower, it averages out to more than most of those jobs pay, and he was candid about that. He suggested that I could perhaps do something there in fiscal services, and even though I don’t have a formal background in accounting, I can obviously do similar things. Of course, at this point, they’re not sure how many positions in fiscal services will be going, either, so it’s not like he can say, yes, there’s a position you can have. But I think he’s happy with my willingness to take on other duties and help where needed, and I think if something came up, he would recommend me and prefer to retain me. The most likely place to have an opening would be scheduling, which I am trained in, at least to a point. I said I wasn’t sure I’d like to do that five days a week all day, but I would be willing to try, if the pay wasn’t terribly low. The main concern I have at the moment is continuing to have health insurance, and while I might find something on the exchanges, we have excellent insurance and it would be nice to keep it. But benefits are the main goal. That being said, I am having trouble making ends meet, mainly because I’ve overextended myself on debt in the last couple of years. So a pay cut, while it may be inevitable, is not going to be fun, either. Anyway, I asked him to let me know if anything came up, and to keep me in mind for future openings. It couldn’t hurt.

It’s been a very long week, it seems. Tonight I missed the return of ‘Grimm’ because A really needed to go to the store and do a large grocery run. YKWIA recorded it though, and we’ll watch it tomorrow. I also need to see the last two ‘Heroes: Reborn’ episodes. Oh, and he’s been recording the ‘Sword of Shannara Chronicles’ but we haven’t seen them yet.

So, tomorrow I need to:

1. Possibly take the dog to the vet (it’s very close to where they live, but the poor thing is too unsteady to walk up there, right now).
2. Take A to get his medicine, or at least go by and get it for him.
3. Possibly take him to get his hair cut.
4. Take in the Time Warner Cable equipment.
5. Do a very small grocery run for a couple of items they didn’t have tonight.

Okay. I’m pretty tired, and it’s after midnight. Good night.