Happy April!

It is 73 degrees, sunny, with a light wind. I have arrived home to sunlight streaming in the windows, which I have opened. I've also watered the plants (which will hopefully not turn over due to the wind--the sheers are going in pretty far and the wind chimes on the inside of my windows are chiming).

Today went pretty smoothly. Things were a little slow, but I had enough work to keep me busy, but still keeping ahead of things. It's Spring Break for our local school district, so some of the doctors are off this week, and the schedule isn't quite as heavy as usual. So it was a bit laid-back and pleasant at work.

I wore my new dress and got lots of compliments. I must confess, for someone who never really got the 'girl handbook', I do occasionally like dressing up in something pretty and feminine. I get compliments when I wear makeup, too, but that I only trot out for certain occasions or the rare moments when I really feel like wearing it. I usually just use a bit of moisturiser in the morning, and untinted at that, with occasional use of lip balm as needed. I don't do tanning or lying out in the sun; I'm too fair for it to really tan and too fair to risk skin cancer, as far as I'm concerned. I mean, my legs are lily white and while my face, neck, and arms get a bit ruddy in the summer just from light exposure to the sun, it's not worth it to me to try to tan. But as a result, I think I have better skin than people who do that, at least once they reach their mid-thirties and older. I just wish I were a little paler and could do something about the ruddiness. For example, something along what Felicia Day or Rose McGowan have in skin tone. But I've got a somewhat ruddy Irish complexion which looks worse when exposed to sun--my poor ancestors in Ireland and Britain were used to mainly rainy or overcast skies, I expect. I have one co-worker in particular who comments almost every day out of concern that my face is ruddy. I guess she's worried my blood pressure is high, or I don't look well. But my face really is just ruddy--sometimes worse than others. I once read about a teenage boy who had some condition that caused frequent blushing, who was so embarrassed about the constant comments that he killed himself, which was vary sad. I guess he was tired of having something he was embarrassed by consistently pointed out to him. I kind of understand. One of these days I really should tell her it bothers me when she tells me. I know she's just concerned. It doesn't help.

Still, it seems no matter what a person has, they're never satisfied. People with straight hair perm, people with curly hair straighten. They colour their hair, especially as they age to something fitting their ideal, even if it clashes with their skin. I always wanted red hair and green eyes. I have reddish highlights with brown hair (where there isn't a silver-grey, these days) and greenish-hazel-but-mostly-brown eyes. :) It's kind of a mossy brown, not the lovely green I thought was cool when I was young. And when I was a kid I really envied my black classmates, who could have their hair done in all sorts of elaborate braids with pretty bands. My hair would barely stay in a pony tail. I didn't figure out how to braid it (as in the 'Little House on the Prairie' style) until I was in junior high, and it's so baby fine it won't hold curl more than about 30 minutes, unless I sleep on rollers and put a lot of stuff in my hair, and then it's maybe an hour. But it goes both ways. A friend of mine has a little girl who has the lovely braids, but kept touching a little girl's hair in kindergarten because she was fascinated with it being blonde.

At least I'm not insecure about things like breasts and hips, etc., although, of course, I would like to be a more normal size, for health more than looks. But I spent a lot of time getting to this size because in my mind it would make me less attractive and invisible to people. Someone once tried to date me, and I gained 70 lbs after giving them the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. Yeah, I know, that's a bit psycho. But there you go. At least I know that's part of the problem. Fixing it is a bit of a problem for me, unfortunately.

Okay, I think I'm going to stretch out under the fan and listen to some music for awhile, then get back up and do some spring cleaning. Hope you have a good night if I don't write more. And here's to Spring finally springing!