In remembrance

My apologies. This is going to ramble.

From the Lexington Herald-Leader:

CHARLEY Nancy Jean, 52, of Lexington, KY, died Tue, Oct 21, 2008 in Cincinnati, OH. Born in LaCrosse, WI, she was the daughter of Muriel Charley of Lexington and the late Peter Stuart Charley. Ms. Charley was a graduate of Midway College and a clinical analyst for Shriner's Hospital. She was a Kentucky Colonel, a volunteer at the Kentucky Horse Park, and a member of Gethsemane Lutheran Church. Survivors other than her mother include a sister, Patricia Charley (Mark) Balkan, Oakland, CA; a brother, David Charley, of northern KY; three nieces, Anika Balkan, Samantha Charley, and Megan Charley; and Sophie. Funeral services will be noon Fri at Gethsemane Lutheran Church by Pastor Joe Trester. Burial will follow in Lexington Cemetery. Visitation will be 5-8pm Thu at Kerr Brothers Funeral Home, Harrodsburg Rd. Memorial contributions are suggested to Shriner's Hospital, 1900 Richmond Rd, Lex, KY 40502 or The Kentucky Horse Park, ATTN: Foundation, 4089 Iron Works Pkwy. Lex, KY 40511.

I couldn't go to the visitation since I worked tonight. I doubt I can make it to the funeral, as it's in the middle of the workday. But I can light a candle for Nancy. They had grief counselors in from Hospice today, and a memorial video was playing in the room, but I got choked up just going near it, so I went ahead and left since I was heading to an appointment anyway. Maybe I'll try to watch it tomorrow.

I did find out that all indications were that she died in her sleep. That's somewhat comforting, anyway.

I wonder if a Lutheran would mind a Pagan saying prayers for her soul? Somehow I don't think Nancy would mind.

Good night. And remember, each day should be lived as if it were your last, because it may be. I have a hard time putting that into practice, like most people, I suppose. But I try not to allow spats or hurtful words fester overnight for that reason.

The deaths of others help remind us how fragile, short, and tenuous life can be, and make us respect and cherish it all the more. It forces us to contemplate our own mortality, to ask how well we are prepared to die, to go on to the next step in our soul's evolution, if things are as I believe. If you believe in the Christian world-view, death should be a time of joy.

In my own belief system the soul is released from the body, which allows it to join with the World-Soul, as the Platonists would put it, or to reincarnate into another existence to learn more life lessons. All we can do when put upon this Earth is to leave it better than we found it, something I think Nancy did well.

Perhaps whatever lessons she needed to learn she had done so, and it was time to move on. I don't know. But I will miss her, but I can't feel too sad, either, for death is a transition to a new state of being, and in most belief systems, that transition will lead to new horizons. I just wish I'd stop crying whenever I think of her. I mean, it shouldn't be sad, right? Not according to my beliefs. I should be happy for her. I guess the sadness is for me and for the others she touched. So maybe I should acknowledge it, but let the sadness go, and celebrate her life, the good memories, and thank her for the opportunity to know her. Because wherever you are, Nancy, you really helped me understand what it means to be alive. Thank you.