So now I'm home, listening to my dog do her weird trilling, not-quite-bark noise that she makes as she rubs against every surface in the house because she has itchy, dry skin. She does this every now and then and it's flipping weird and just obsessive. I think it's time to give her another medicated shampoo bath. She's getting so fragile, though, I'm almost afraid to hoist her into the tub. There, I think I've scritched the itchy spots, she's calming down.
I love Cerys. She has been a great comfort to me, particularly after my divorce and the years I dealt with depression. She's almost sixteen. I can't imagine life without her, and I hope her passing will not trigger another bout of depression. She really has been the best dog for me. I can still see her at the pound making this noise and pawing under the gate to get to me. She has been a wonderful gift from the Goddess. But I have to admit, every time I come home I wonder if I'll find she's passed in her sleep. If she's deeply asleep and doesn't wake to my coming home, I'll tiptoe in and watch her breathe just to be on the safe side. That probably seems pretty morbid, but I think it's rather natural at this age to worry about it. On the other hand, if she died in her sleep that's not a bad way to go. I'd rather she not suffer. I'd like to be with her when it happens, but we can't always have what we want. I put down Buns and Darius and stayed with both through the process, and fortunately I was with Spock when he died--I'm not sure I could have borne putting him to sleep, although in retrospect it would have been less traumatic for both of us, I suppose. And I hope to do the same with Cerys. But it's just so hard to think of her as gone. I'm not sure how I'll respond when the house is empty of pets for the first time in twenty years. I've said I wanted to take a break, and I still believe that. I could see maybe having a cat or two. But I can't see getting another dog--it would have such big paws to fill. :)
Those sad thoughts aside, it really has been a good day for me. I'll end with a quiz. Good night.
| Your EQ is 113 |
 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. |
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