And now to set the mood...

Happy Halloween/Samhain!

I'm home a little later than I planned (I was hoping to start Library of Souls) because we watched The Abominable Doctor Phibes, a Vincent Price movie from 1971 that I saw in the late '70s in school. I've celebrated Halloween, but haven't really done so for Samhain yet. So I've lit incense and many candles and I'm listening to Loreena McKennitt. I have some wine for an offering that I'll give about midnight. All in all, even though this week was crazy and there was so much to do (and I'm still not caught up at work), it was a good week, with lots of Halloween fun, a friend's birthday, and now today having some rest and relaxation with friends. We are playing the game tomorrow, so that should be fun, too. The game notes were finished days ago, so I'm in good shape there. I can't believe it's almost November. The Chicago trip will be here before you know it.

Anyway, I hope you have a great holiday, and are having a completely decent weekend. It's a busy one here in Lexington--we had the Breeder's Cup at Keeneland yesterday and today, and American Pharaoh (see post for 2 November 2015 about the name American PHAROAH) completely nailed the Classic, which is to be his last start before retiring to stud. A and I watched it, and it was breathtaking. The horse at one point, once his lead was assured, seemed to be running just for the pure joy of doing so, rather than to win. I have some mixed feelings about horse racing, but it was still exhilarating to watch.

Listening to Loreena McKennitt

which is appropriate for this time of year, as the album has both 'The Lady of Shalott', which I am dressing up as tomorrow for our trick-or-treat at work, and 'All Soul's Night', which is almost upon us. Right now, I'm listening to 'The Stolen Child', which I find to be quite haunting. I have my skirt and blouse all ready for tomorrow, and a wig that is a bit darker than Loreena McKennitt's but in the same style, with bangs and long waves, so in a way I'll be dressing up as both her and the doomed Fae.

Tonight I took a friend to an appointment and helped him with something. Tomorrow there's the dress-up and trick-or-treat, and I need to wish another friend a happy birthday, as he catches up with me in age. Tomorrow night I will be carving or decorating a pumpkin for a contest on Friday, fixing some cut fruit for a breakfast baby shower in my new department, and baking a gingersnap pecan caramel pumpkin cheesecake for another contest at work. Then Friday night is not just Halloween, but Samhain, a religious holiday for me. I never seem to get kids coming for candy to the door--I live in an apartment, and I guess people just aren't comfortable with that. But I'll get a little candy just in case. But I will also put together a libation and spend some time remembering the dead.

Okay, time to add a couple of touches to the costume--I'm going to print out the Tennyson poem for my cubicle and take a magnifier that doubles as an ornate necklace and copy some knights out of one of my books on the Middle Ages and use that as my 'mirror' tomorrow, hopefully without cracking it from side to side. :) [Image: John William Waterhouse]

It is so blustery out there

that a tiny amount of wind is getting through my normally decently sealed windows and making the wind chimes in the window chime just a bit with the huge gusts every now and then. The wind is positively howling, perfect for Halloween, I suppose. What have I actually been doing for the last two hours this Samhain eve? Listening to the Pandora 'Loreena McKinnitt' channel I have set up; in other words, enjoying some lovely Celtic music and relaxing. That was in the bedroom. Now that I'm in the living room, and there's no music, the wind is really loud. We're supposed to see gusts over 40 mph, and I think that's definitely happening.

Here's a little appropriate music from Loreena McKinnitt to chase the wind away:

I spent a good part of the day in bed

But I've been up for a couple of hours, have dealt with the mail, have spoken to some people on the phone, and wished Brandon and his family happy trick or treating. It doesn't feel like Halloween. At work we dress up and the kids come around the offices to get candy. I had not decided what I would go as before all this happened, so I don't know what I would have come up with.

It's also Samhain night, a religious holiday for remembering the dead, among other things. Having had my brush with death this month, I'm just glad to be among the living.

It's hard to believe it's almost November. I need to go online and register for my work benefits for next year. I think I have until the 13th on that. On the 14th, of course, I had planned to fly to Chicago. That isn't happening. So November's going to be a good deal quieter than I had expected, just a few doctor's appointments and the like. At this point I don't know whether I'll be able to visit with my family for Thanksgiving. My mom's house has these steps that are pretty steep, and they're wearing out. They've gotten my grandmother up them in a wheelchair using a couple of stout boards, but my grandmother is tiny. I don't think I can get up them at all. It depends on where I am in my recovery, I guess. So I'll probably be alone for the holiday.

I really want to clean the house. I've dropped a few things here and there, and now that I'm spending more time here I see things that need to be worked on. When I'm better, I'm going to really have to consider de-hoarding some of my stuff; Brandon's three-year-old is right, there's way too much. It's not particularly valuable. A lot are books of course, but in my living room I also have two cathode-ray monitors that really need to go to the recycling centre, stuff like that. And maybe it is a little silly for a 45-year-old woman to have a lot of stuffed animals. Maybe.

Tomorrow I'm going to really try to do the dishes, at least the ones I can load in the dishwasher, and water and cull some of the plants. I'm still having trouble with those white fluffy bugs on the violets. Thank goodness Jill, my roommate in the library, is watering my plants there for me. I also need to take a baby wipe bath and change my clothes. Washing my hair may be an option once I get the dishes squared away, depending on how my balance is. It's been over a week; I've just been using the dry shampoo. What I do not want to do is stay in bed all day.

That said, I think I'm going to go back in there and read for awhile. Have a happy Halloween, and a good Samhain (it is also the time when in Celtic tradition, the old year gives way to the new). So happy new year (or one of them, anyway) :).

I had some insomnia last night

lying awake in bed for the longest time, finally falling to sleep around 4 am and waking up at 8. So I'm still a little tired. But since I've been up I've eaten some Jell-o, written out a thank you card to my wonderful co-workers, put it in the mail box in the hall, moved some dishes to the sink, filled some ice cube trays and put them in the freezer, all very slowly and deliberately but I did pretty well.

Brandon's almost-four-year-old was horrified the other day that I wouldn't be celebrating Halloween. I told him I couldn't really pass out candy (I didn't tell him we rarely get kids in the apartment complex). At work we normally dress up and the kids come around the offices trick or treating. It's fun. Halloween is my favourite holiday, both secularly and of course it's also a pagan religious holiday, Samhain (that's pronounced Sow [like the pig]-un). I might try at least to observe the religious side this year. Benjamyn also volunteered his mother to clean my house, because as he rightly noted, it is messy and there is too much stuff. :)

I'm actually at the computer right now, with the little fan I had at work plugged into it that Jill brought me. Today I need to check on the status of my library books and see which are coming due soon, especially if it's before my next appointment

What I wish I could do today:

1. Work on the aquarium. The pump is working, but there's a clump of greenery that is in the intake valve and it's not really circulating the water well. But I'm doing pretty well to feed the fish and water the houseplants here.
2. Take out my trash and recyclables-they're starting to get full.
3. Wash the dishes (I'm not quite up to that; perhaps soon, when I have better balance and feel more confident).
4. Visit my friends and their pets. Right now, I'd get knocked down, and they dogs wouldn't want to be separated from me very long so eventually they'd knock into a painful spot.
5. Deliver A's birthday present. His birthday is the 30th. He's catching up to me, 45. I could mail it, I have a small bubble envelope, but I don't know the postage and don't want to put a whole bunch of stamps on the thing that would either waste postage or not be enough and it be sent back. Even the absentee ballot took $1.10, and this would be heavier.

It's been raining outside and has turned cool, so I'm glad I'm missing that. I did turn the air conditioning off (I've pretty much kept a fan running somewhere every moment I've been in the house. I feel better if air circulates.)

I feel like I could go back to sleep. Mabye it's the lack from last night, or the medication, or the gloomy weather. But I'm already feeling sleepy. I didn't really nap yesterday at all, except maybe for fifteen minutes every now and then.

Okay, time to get away from the computer and get everything that needs to be elevated up. I think I'll stay in the living are for awhile, though--the light's better. I have a feeling before this is all over with, someone's going to have to stand on my bed and change a couple of light bulbs; it's gotten rather dim in the bedroom.

Nice story on what Samhain means to pagans

For growing ranks of pagans, October 31 means a lot more than Halloween

As pumpkins, witches and faux cobwebs have taken over much of North America for Halloween, Clare Slaney-Davis is preparing an October 31 feast that some would consider much spookier, with table settings for her grandparents, a great-aunt and other relatives who have passed away.

As she and her living guests eat, they'll share stories and memories of loved ones they've lost.

Slaney-Davis, who is based in London, isn't preparing the feast for Halloween. Instead, she and pagans around the world are celebrating Samhain, the beginning of the pagan new year, a night when the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is believed to be the thinnest of any time during the year.

That's why it's a night devoted to ancestors. "We honor them, and we recognize that we don't live in a world of people who are merely dead or alive," says Slaney-Davis, 46. "Ancestors are central to us."

Thanks to Lisa for the link.

Happy Halloween

After much debating and little execution, I dressed for Halloween at work as Death, on of the Endless from Neil Gaiman's Sandman comics. I had a black top and pants on, a black wig, and the requisite Death makeup. We had trick-or-treating with the kids this morning, as they made their way around the various offices. Each office had previously picked up donated candy. It was great fun.

I felt a little bad because I didn't have candy for tonight's trick-or-treating, but I wasn't sure if anyone would come, either. So when I got home, I took a nap, keeping the house dark. I never heard a peep from anyone. I guess that's what you get with apartment living.

So now I'm up and considering how best to celebrate the holiday, which is a religious one for me (Samhain). For libations, I don't have any wine to offer the dead, but I have oil and honey, which both count as possibilities. No pomegranate this year, but I do have garlic. Ah, the problems of being poor and pagan.

For now, though, I think I'll check out the news and see if anything of interest is going on for this last day of October.

Happy Halloween! Happy Samhain!

I've been gaming all day, and I just got home from the a not-quite-so-big grocery run. I left an offering of a pomegranate and red wine outside as soon as I got home. Now I'm having some peanut butter and spreadable fruit. I'd like to go on to bed, but there is a nearly inevitable phone call from the game master to see what I thought about the game, so I'll stay up a bit to see if he calls.

Hope your weekend was a pleasant one.

Samhain's around the corner :)

I'm in a Halloween mood even though it's not quite here yet...


I came across a great quote on another video's page:

I swear, Loreena McKennitt could sing the phone book and I'd listen intently...--phanotomphreak85

Exactly. :)

Well, I just spent an hour or two on planning

my advance directives, memorial request, and will. The living will is to replace one I had that had fallen apart that I did back in 2000 when my grandfather died, but is pretty much the same. I'm going to have it signed tomorrow at the game, since I'll have witnesses available. The will is finished but has to be witnessed and notarised. The memorial planning isn't legally binding, but it's my chance to make my wishes known. The upshot is I want to be cremated, not buried (and certainly not embalmed--I think that's ghoulish). I would like an informal memorial service but no funeral, but I don't want Christian trappings as I am not Christian. Also, I made provision for someone to make a last entry on this blog in the event of my death, giving instructions for logging in.

Okay, I'm kind of wiped. I think I'll take a short nap and then work on the house for awhile before I celebrate Samhain (the Celtic new year, when the dead are acknowledged, the basis of Halloween).

Time to sleep

The last couple of nights I've averaged 4-5 hours' sleep. I had about a 45 minute nap this afternoon after work. So even though there are several news stories I'd like to blog about, I'll have to defer to tomorrow.

Tonight is Old Samhain (the Celtic New Year, last harvest, and remembrance for the dead)--oh, and it's pronounced 'Sow (rhymes with 'cow')-un' rather than 'Sam-hane'. Tonight I need to leave an offering to my Patroness. I have a nice ripe pomegranate and some honey.

And it's Veteran's Day/Remembrance Day, too, of course. I am the grand-daughter of three World II veterans (my grandmother was also a veteran, a nurse in Europe who lost a kidney during her service. One grandfather was a Marine at Iwo Jima. Another was somewhere in the South Pacific, I believe. I never knew him) and the daughter of a Vietnam veteran/career Air Force non-commissioned officer.

For such a peace-oriented person, the military has always meant a lot to me. It's kind of like a second family--I spent many years of my childhood on Air Force bases around the country. (I unfortunately never got to live or visit outside of the US). And in my own way, I'm pretty patriotic. I really appreciate that the freedoms I have as an American citizen are being and were defended by men and women who have served their country.

On the radio this morning, the disc jockey talked about a young man she'd dated, who at 21 died in Southeast Asia during the Vietnam War, only 6 weeks after he'd arrived.

There are many stories like his, and others of those who returned, some suffering physical and mental wounds, some changed beyond recognition. With a new war, there are plenty of veterans who need the funding and programmes to support their safety during service and their needs when they return home. So, thank you.

Kentucky has a beautiful Vietnam memorial in Frankfort that is a giant sundial. It was created by architect Helm Roberts. On the anniversary of each Kentucky soldier's death, the shadow of the gnomon falls on his or her name. The Herald-Leader had a nice story about it yesterday (Memorial built with sunshine and shadow). I don't think they keep the stories publicly available past seven days, but if you see this before that, check it out. They explain some of the process of how it works. Oh, and by the way, it happens to be on a wind-swept field next to the Kentucky Department for Libraries and Archives, where I worked as an intern one summer and became acquainted with the memorial.

Okay, I'm going to go make my offering and then go to sleep. Good night.

Sorry I didn't post last night

I'd thrown up rather awfully out of the side of my car whilst picking up some friends (who quickly moved to the back seat and called for Lysol) and went home and slept to let the dizziness to subside. I wasn't sick with a virus. It seems to have been either 1) emotional, 2) I ate something bad 3) my period or 4) some combination of the above. I also managed to blow a blood vessel in my eye, which is now quite red.

Is it just me or am I becoming more of a danger to myself lately?

PS Burritos not as good coming up as they are down. Fortunately I had a couple tonight that seem to be sitting better on my stomach.

Today I didn't really dress up for Halloween beyond wearing black, but when trick-or-treating started at work (the kids come 'round the offices, which have candy for them, all coordinated by the rec therapy folks), someone let me borrow a Jason masque and I put the hood of my jacket up and apparently was suitably scary. Of course, I had to go without my glasses to wear the plastic masque, so I had to be a little careful when putting the candy into sacks and pumpkins. It was great fun. :)

Second work was uneventful except for some malfunctioning pumps that those affected handled with great aplomb, for which I'm grateful, as all I could really do is refer them to the manager and bag the pump so no one else could use it.

Tonight I finished up my notes for the month and then got some meds from the pharmacy, came home, and then I gave a pomegranate as offering to Hekate along with some mead, a departure from the regular honeyed burgundy, since tonight is a special night. Although She is considered a Graeco-Roman Goddess and She is my Patroness by mutual choice, my heritage is primarily Celtic. We've worked it out over the years. So even though the year dies and is reborn in Celtic tradition tonight, rather than at the various times found in the Greek or Roman world, I worship Her tonight on Samhain a little differently than I do all other nights. Besides, she's not really Greek, but older than that, some say Karian, or Thessalian, but She is associated with wild magic and death, both associated with Halloween. All I know is that She has made a wonderful difference in my life, and so tonight I thanked Her for the blessings of the last year and entreated fortune for the coming one.

In my office is a line drawing of Hekate, with the following Orphic hymn's translation:

I praise lovely
three-formed Hekate Enodia,
saffron-veiled,
of Sky, Earth, and Sea,
who celebrates
Bacchanalia at the tomb
with the souls of the dead,
Daughter of Perses,
Lover of solitude,
honored with cakes,
Nocturnal One,
Protector of dogs,
Invincible Sovereign,
heralded by the roar of wild beasts...
Keybearing Queen of the whole Cosmos.