Believe it or not, I didn't nap

Although I did put my feet up for about forty-five minutes and took a break. I did some of my exercises, since that involves taking off the boot and doing some bending of my ankle. Then I came back out from the bedroom and ate something. I've got my blood sugar back to a nice number--it was 104 this evening before dinner. Then I sat down for over two hours and made out most (not all) of the thank-you cards, making sure I personalised each one. I think my eyes are just about crossed, and my handwriting was getting a little wild, so I decided to finish tomorrow. I decided I would go ahead and mail them, and then realised I'm about two stamps short of getting everyone's there. So I may have to get some more somehow. All total it's about 28 cards, and that's just for my co-workers.

I gathered my laundry into my little cart, for ease of movement and put it out of the way. As I walked back into the living area, I decided to turn on the holiday lights that divide the living area from the dining area (in truth, they stay up all year; I just turn them on when I feel like it, and I did tonight). They are very cheery.

I am getting sleepy, but I'm determined to stay up until at least ten, so I have a little over an hour to go. I just hope I can get comfortable and go to sleep when I try.

I had some insomnia last night

lying awake in bed for the longest time, finally falling to sleep around 4 am and waking up at 8. So I'm still a little tired. But since I've been up I've eaten some Jell-o, written out a thank you card to my wonderful co-workers, put it in the mail box in the hall, moved some dishes to the sink, filled some ice cube trays and put them in the freezer, all very slowly and deliberately but I did pretty well.

Brandon's almost-four-year-old was horrified the other day that I wouldn't be celebrating Halloween. I told him I couldn't really pass out candy (I didn't tell him we rarely get kids in the apartment complex). At work we normally dress up and the kids come around the offices trick or treating. It's fun. Halloween is my favourite holiday, both secularly and of course it's also a pagan religious holiday, Samhain (that's pronounced Sow [like the pig]-un). I might try at least to observe the religious side this year. Benjamyn also volunteered his mother to clean my house, because as he rightly noted, it is messy and there is too much stuff. :)

I'm actually at the computer right now, with the little fan I had at work plugged into it that Jill brought me. Today I need to check on the status of my library books and see which are coming due soon, especially if it's before my next appointment

What I wish I could do today:

1. Work on the aquarium. The pump is working, but there's a clump of greenery that is in the intake valve and it's not really circulating the water well. But I'm doing pretty well to feed the fish and water the houseplants here.
2. Take out my trash and recyclables-they're starting to get full.
3. Wash the dishes (I'm not quite up to that; perhaps soon, when I have better balance and feel more confident).
4. Visit my friends and their pets. Right now, I'd get knocked down, and they dogs wouldn't want to be separated from me very long so eventually they'd knock into a painful spot.
5. Deliver A's birthday present. His birthday is the 30th. He's catching up to me, 45. I could mail it, I have a small bubble envelope, but I don't know the postage and don't want to put a whole bunch of stamps on the thing that would either waste postage or not be enough and it be sent back. Even the absentee ballot took $1.10, and this would be heavier.

It's been raining outside and has turned cool, so I'm glad I'm missing that. I did turn the air conditioning off (I've pretty much kept a fan running somewhere every moment I've been in the house. I feel better if air circulates.)

I feel like I could go back to sleep. Mabye it's the lack from last night, or the medication, or the gloomy weather. But I'm already feeling sleepy. I didn't really nap yesterday at all, except maybe for fifteen minutes every now and then.

Okay, time to get away from the computer and get everything that needs to be elevated up. I think I'll stay in the living are for awhile, though--the light's better. I have a feeling before this is all over with, someone's going to have to stand on my bed and change a couple of light bulbs; it's gotten rather dim in the bedroom.

I just want to thank you

for reading this blog, whether you've been doing so for years, or if you're new to it. I started it eleven years ago (as of the 18th of this month) in an attempt to put my feelings into words. For the first time, I was able to really keep a journal. I chose to make mine public, and I probably overshare to some degree. Blogs like mine are part vanity, part personal journey, part information. It's never been a high-traffic site, but it's had a steady following, and I really appreciate that. I find it somewhat comforting that people out there actually are interested in what I say, at least to some degree, and that I'm not just writing things out into the aether, but there are real people sitting in front of their screens reading my words.

Tomorrow will be a difficult day for me. I can't go into the details, but I'm very nervous and a little scared. I've had reason to examine my own mortality of late, and while it is highly unlikely that anything so dire will happen tomorrow, it will happen sometime, so let me just take this opportunity to thank you for following along on my journey. May it be a long and (mostly) happy one for years to come.

For my friends and family, thank you for being with me and supporting me at a time of stress and pain. I love you all, and wish you the best.

May I just express my thanks

even though she probably won't see it here, and of course I thank her all the time, but I really appreciate my co-worker who has been giving me rides home about 3-4 times a week. I do not think I could have gotten home today without falling asleep on the bus if I'd had to take it, and I was dressed very nicely, but in dark purples, so I'd probably have been missed by them. I try to dress in light clothes on days I know she can't take me. She has been wonderful, and I tell her that each time she gives me a ride, but tonight I am feeling doubly thankful.

PS Last night I caught the bus and was worried they'd pass me by even though I was in light clothes (some drivers have a tendency to get into the left lane too early in preparation for the Idle Hour loop). When I saw the driver who looks for me each time, I said, 'I thought you just drove on Mondays and Tuesdays.' He said, 'It is Tuesday. Don't worry, it'll get better.' I'd spent most of the day thinking it was Thursday.

Well, at least I remembered it was Tuesday long enough to prepare for election day and go vote. :) I just promptly forgot the Tuesday part after that.