Listening to

'Everybody Hurts' by REM


Today I felt crappy. My blood sugar was 343 this morning, 210 this evening (although on the upside I not only remembered to test both times but took my Janumet for both doses, something I don't always remember to do). Normal is 60-120. I got a phone call this morning from Dr Nesbitt's office with the results of my bloodwork. My hA1C (which measures blood sugar over a three month period, was 8.3 (normal being less than 6.0)). In other words, my diabetes is out of control. Dr Nesbitt is putting me on an additional generic pill to help, and I take it in the morning, which will be much better in terms of me remembering to take it. In the afternoons I get caught up in things and barely remember to eat, much less test and take medicine. But Dr Nesbitt specifically mentioned this as an alternative to insulin, which I don't want to be on. Today I didn't have anything sugary except for some spreadable fruit on a peanut butter sandwich, but I haven't been really cutting out sweets and empty carbs lately. I need to do better, maybe have a couple pieces of chocolate at the game but not many, for example. I really need to take this seriously.

On a positive note, my cholesterol went down from 190 to 138. And I always have blood pressure on the low end of normal and a good resting heartbeat.

I also had therapy today, most of which dealt with my lack of self-esteem, my need to find reasons to like myself and come up with goals in my life (and put them into practice), and the bizarre life that was my marriage. I think it was really useful. This is the first social worker I've seen who was perceptive and listened to me without pushing a personal agenda. Of course, he's also the first male social worker I've seen, so maybe that's part of it.

I'm going to go onto bed, I think. I'll try to write someting more meaningful tomorrow, assuming I'm not tired after getting a crown put in at the dentist and working on truck night. Good night.