How do I love?

"How Do You Love?" by Collective Soul

There once was love thrown into your room
But you never knew
A calendar of days just for you
But you never knew, never knew no
And the truth that you'll find will always be
The truth you hide

So how do you love, how do you love
When your angels can't sing, and your world is still
Lacking of me

There once were eyes that only saw you
But you never knew
A portrait of a flower in full bloom
But you never knew, never knew no
And the words that you fear will always be
The words you hear

This space where you've been living
Has gifts you've never given
That's the face you always show
Ask me for words of wisdom
Tell me of your condition
I don't know, I don't
I don't know

And the truth that you'll find will always be
The truth you hide

I don't know if I'll ever be in love, because I keep people at arm's length, or worse, I keep myself cut off from others, shut out. I rarely recognise when a person might be flirting with me, because it's like blinders at the edge of my vision...other people just don't exist, because I keep myself closed off in public.

There are people I love, of course, but not in a romantic way. I've only been in love once, and it was unrequited. Fortunately that eventually transformed into another form of love. But at heart I'm an incurable romantic, and I want to love and be loved. I want the companionship, but I seem to sabatoge myself with others. So one of the things I need to learn is how to be more open to others and let them in, or at least notice them. It's not that I'm stuck-up, I'm just afraid of being hurt like I've been hurt before. Now the trick is how to do that...