Born, like other comic book characters, out of an otherwise trivial but life-changing animal bite, the Rabid Librarian seeks out strange, useless facts, raves about real and perceived injustices, and seeks to meet her greatest challenge of all--her own life.
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Saturday, November 30, 2024
Twenty-five
Tuesday, November 12, 2024
Beautiful but sad
Not the most cheerful of poems, but I accidentally came across this today and it really spoke to me. I'll have to read more by the author.
'The world is a beautiful place' from A Coney Island of the Mind, copyright © 1955 by Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t mind happiness
not always being
so very much fun
if you don’t mind a touch of hell
now and then
just when everything is fine
because even in heaven
they don’t sing
all the time
The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t mind some people dying
all the time
or maybe only starving
some of the time
which isn’t half so bad
if it isn’t you
Oh the world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t much mind
a few dead minds
in the higher places
or a bomb or two
now and then
in your upturned faces
or such other improprieties
as our Name Brand society
is prey to
with its men of distinction
and its men of extinction
and its priests
and other patrolmen
and its various segregations
and congressional investigations
and other constipations
that our fool flesh
is heir to
Yes the world is the best place of all
for a lot of such things as
making the fun scene
and making the love scene
and making the sad scene
and singing low songs of having
inspirations
and walking around
looking at everything
and smelling flowers
and goosing statues
and even thinking
and kissing people and
making babies and wearing pants
and waving hats and
dancing
and going swimming in rivers
on picnics
in the middle of the summer
and just generally
‘living it up’
Yes
but then right in the middle of it
comes the smiling
mortician
I stayed home today to get some rest
I just woke up after sleeping three-and-a-half-hours. I needed it. I'd hoped to follow up with my primary care provider, but he didn't have anything till Thursday afternoon.
Monday, November 11, 2024
Long day in the emergency room
I felt fine this morning, drove to work with no problem, blood sugar was normal, everything was fine. I got to the stadium lot and felt fuzzy in my head, and when I tried walking I was uncoordinated and listed to the side. I was carrying a small orchid and nearly dropped it repeatedly, even jerking at one point without meaning too, like those jerks you have when you're falling asleep, but I wasn't.
It continued when I went into work, and I nearly fell over, even with the cane, several times. Once I got to work I dropped an open drink twice on my keyboard (good I have an overlay), I was still fuzzy, and really slow in making the computer work. I went down to the employee health nurse. My blood pressure has been all over the place today, first high with her, then at one point really low. She got me in a wheelchair and she and my supervisor took me over to UK's ED, because some of my symptoms matched a TIA like I had in July.
So after the CT and EKG and other tests, there was no sign of a TIA (although they don't necessarily do that, being transient, after all). I spent a lot of time sitting and lying in bed and the fuzziness finally cleared for the most part. I'm dehydrated, but I wasn't enough to get fluids. I have orthostatic hypotension, but I'd figured that out some time ago (I am a medical librarian, after all, and I once knew someone who had it and they were the same symptoms, such as getting dizzy when standing up). But this wasn't really that...I was a little dizzy in the beginning but it was more unsteady, groggy, disoriented, that sort of thing.
Last night between 9 and 10 PM I'd taken a small dose, smaller than usual, of a muscle relaxant, tinzanidine. I've used it occasionally for years for neck and back spasms. I usually take 14 mg, again, PRN, just as needed, but I just took 8, thank goodness. It was over 12 hours by the time I went to the ED since I'd taken the medicine, which usually is short-lived.
I was still having unsteadiness almost 24 hours afterwards. My brain's just not in the same fuzzy mode it was before. Now (11:30 PM) I feel tired and overly-wrung out.
The doctor thinks I may have a hypersensitivity or allergy to tizanidine and I shouldn't take it, but she never said it definitely caused the symptoms today. I also found in my own research that despite having a relatively short half-life, it is heavily metabolised by the liver, and since I have fatty liver disease, I wonder if that affected things.
The nurse brought me home (thank you Kathryn) just before 5 PM, and I went straight to bed for a rest. She's going to come get me in the morning as my car is at the stadium.
So it was a big maybe on what all happened, but I'm just hoping I'm back to my normal self tomorrow.
UPDATE: Thinking back through things, I find it interesting that I didn't have symptoms for about two hours when I woke up, before I to to work. If it were some strange carryover from the tizanidine, you would expect me to be impaired from the moment I woke up. The only reason I even thought of the tizanidine was before I also had some, and the last time I had some, the night before my TIA in July, (and none of them thought it should be it either time, as it does clear fairly quickly out of the body, but it seemed oddly beyond coincidental not to mention). All the symptoms I had today were symptoms I had that morning in July as well.
It also reminded me of a time I went to another hospital for weakness on one side, headache, and chest pains. They decided it was a hemiplegic migraine with a panic attack because nothing showed up on the scans. But I'm beginning to wonder if that was also a transient ischemic issue as well. The chest pains may have been a panic attack, I do get them. I rarely get migraines, but I have not had a hemiplegic migraine, either before or since.
I think I'm going to talk to my PCP. In addition to being an expert with decades of experience in internal medicine, he has worked in both neurology and emergency medicine. He's also Canadian, and so maybe the training he received might give him another perspective.
Friday, October 25, 2024
Twenty-four
Sunday, October 20, 2024
This was an easy one (number twenty-three)
23. To-Do List Formula: A Stress-Free Guide to Creating To-Do Lists That Work by Damon Zahariades. 2016. ASIN: B01JJ5CURW.
Saturday, October 19, 2024
Twenty-one and twenty-two
Citations:
21. Nubs: The True Story of a Mutt, a Marine, & a Miracle by Major Brian Dennis, Mary Netherly, and Kirby Larson. Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, 2009, 70 pp. ISBN: 978-0316053181.
22. Watercolour Lessons: How to Paint and Unwind with Tutorials by Emma Lefebvre. Coral Gables, FL: Pear Tree Press, 2022, 256 pp. ISBN: 978-1684810079.
My goal for this year is 36 books. I got behind over the summer, so I'm only at 61%. I need to step up my game. I've got one I'm about a third of the way through but I don't know if I'll finish it; it's rather slowly-paced, plus three I'd like to go ahead and read or re-read that are fiction, and one non-fiction guide.
So, here those are:
1. What the River Knows by Isabel Ibañez (this is the slow one)
2. Flying Too High by Kerry Greenwood
3. Re-reading Storm Front by Jim Butcher
4. Re-reading The Atrocity Archives by Charles Stross
and also a non-fiction one:
5. Knee Replacement Surgery: A Patient's Guide Before, During, & After by Chris Easton
Wednesday, October 16, 2024
By 1 PM
- Studied Duolingo
- Went through bed cubbies
- Went through library books
- Charged earbuds
- Charged continuous glucose monitor receiver
- Charged razor
- Set up SAD light for seasonal depression
- Got rid of honey, oil, and moss*
- Cleaned out the bags from the utility room
- Consolidated bills/opened all the envelopes
- Took midday insulin
- Ate lunch
- Took the books to the library
- Got more soda
- Took reusable bags to the car
- Took my religious items to the car to go to storage
- Threw away items on the refrigerator, got rid of the soda bottles, threw away moss*
- Fold laundry and put it away
- Help my friend write out his bills
- Take a shower tonight
- Eat dinner
- Take evening meds
- Change my CPAP mask, etc.
- Take nap.
By 11 AM I had:
- Run the dishwasher
- Washed one big load of laundry and put it in the dryer
- Listened to music
- Eaten breakfast
- Organised my crafting supplies (mainly beads and watercolour materials)
- Organised my home gym items (handheld weights, ankle weights, balls, bands--small stuff I use for PT and exercise sometimes)
- Charged my earbuds
- Charged my glucose monitor receiver
- Tweaked the pumpkin diorama
- Blogged
- Go through a shelf next to the power station I charged the other day
- Cleaned out the drawers of both nightstands
- Let the dogs out and fed the animals
- Organised the herb cabinet I keep dishes and my own non-refrigerated foods in
- Taken all of my morning medications
- Organise the bed cubbies (there are two in the footboard)(
- Study Duolingo
- Go through the library books
- Start re-reading Jim Butcher's Storm Front
- Help my friend write out his bills
- Take a shower (tonight)
Feeling better after 10 days of Covid leave
Tomorrow I get to go back to work. I'm feeling much better. I was lucky to 1) have something more like bad flu than full-blown, concerning illness and 2) no one else I knew got it from me [I'd played the game with friends the day I started getting feeling bad, sharing snacks, etc., so it was a concern, and also, of course, I live with someone. Four years of pandemic and I never had it, and then bam. I did get vaccinated (my 7th shot overall), but unfortunately, I got sick before the full protection came through (it takes a bit). It may have mitigated it somewhat, though. And my roommate had his back in early September, so that helped. At this point, I just have the same runny nose I've had with allergies over the last five months.
Two observances...except when I was the sickest (including the night I slept 14 hours), I woke up by 6:30-7:00 AM every morning (when I should be for work). This was at first frustrating, because hey, I'm off, I'm sick, I'm supposed to sleep in. But it's because I've been going to bed at 10-11 PM and not my normal midnight AM. So there's a change to try to implement. The other is my room is the absolute cleanest it has been in years. I was bored and I cleaned. I am only neat at work. My desk has to be in order. I feel better when my living space is, but I struggle because I was messy even as a kid, and it was the main battle I had with my parents in an otherwise 'good girl' childhood. Behold! [I do need to take the little air conditioner to storage (and get my cold-weather clothes), but that's for this weekend. And of course, the pumpkin diorama is sitting on the cedar chest for the next 24 hours. I'll take it in tomorrow. I really should find a different spot for my medicine cart (it also has lotions, toiletries, etc.) because it's right in the window and that's not good for medications (although they are in sunlight-blocking bottles, the bamboo has to go somewhere in the light. And of course, it's all about the plants, right? Maybe I need one of those little tower tables. :)