I think this is the longest I've gone in years. But now I'm hot and up in the middle of the night and not sleeping at all, so it seemed a good time to check in.
Almost every aspect of my life is going well this week. I found another job to apply for. I helped a friend through a difficult week. I was productive at work and managed to work extra to offset an appointment without using PTO. Brenda is back in the area and can give me a ride Thursday to my procedure. I'm a little nervous about having it, but I'm relieved she'll be there.
But I look around the house and I can tell--stress has been insidious. I'm not to the tipping point yet, but I'm close. And there's one main reason. I've been sad and worried about my mother, and unable to get to her. I have a message in to my stepfather to see if there is a way he could come get me either day this weekend so I can see her for a few hours. It's not looking good. It may be my last chance. With the car like it is right now, I could easily get stranded if I try to go on my own. I don't have enough money to fix it or to rent a car. I looked into it, as well as a transport service between Danville and Lexington. Thirty-five miles has never seemed so long a way. I feel like a failure. My mother and I are not close like we used to be, and there is a lot of baggage from the past. But I just want to see her and say goodbye. Hopefully I'll hear back from John tomorrow.
:(
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