Born, like other comic book characters, out of an otherwise trivial but life-changing animal bite, the Rabid Librarian seeks out strange, useless facts, raves about real and perceived injustices, and seeks to meet her greatest challenge of all--her own life.
Unshelved
by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
Sunday, May 01, 2016
I finally worked up the courage
to message someone on OKCupid, a dating site. I've been on there for some time, mainly for the quizzes, but I've never actually communicated with anyone before. I'm not sure if he'll message in return, but at least it's a first step, right?
Yep, it's a good first step. Some safety advice, if you do get a reply:
1. It's ok to stick to OK Cupid message chat until you feel confident about giving out an email address.
2. First meeting should be a lunch at a public place, where you will meet. Don't reveal your home address or phone number before the first date. If you hit it off at lunch, you can decide to give out your phone number or email address.
3. YOU are in control of your personal data and especially your address. Don't give them out until YOU are confident that the guy seems OK. If this means that there will be several "meet" dates before a date at which he picks you up at your home, that is YOUR decision to make.
4. There is a practice on dating sites called "catfishing" in which a date is arranged and then the person no-shows/no-calls. It's cruel, but it happens. If you are stood up without getting a call and apology, it's best work on the "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" principle and not pursue it further.
5. Be very sure of how dinner costs and other expenses will be paid. There's lots of scammers out there that want to take advantage of a good person.
Be prepared for a certain amount of rudeness if you're active on OKC or other dating sites. Women get asked for nude photos routinely and are subject to immature commentary, and both men and women will often not even respond to messages. You can set filters on searches to note those who have been active within certain periods: day, week, month. If a person hasn't been active within a month they're likely dating someone already, or no longer dating. You'll eventually grow to recognize the ones who are there week in and week out.
4 comments:
Yep, it's a good first step. Some safety advice, if you do get a reply:
1. It's ok to stick to OK Cupid message chat until you feel confident about giving out an email address.
2. First meeting should be a lunch at a public place, where you will meet. Don't reveal your home address or phone number before the first date. If you hit it off at lunch, you can decide to give out your phone number or email address.
3. YOU are in control of your personal data and especially your address. Don't give them out until YOU are confident that the guy seems OK. If this means that there will be several "meet" dates before a date at which he picks you up at your home, that is YOUR decision to make.
4. There is a practice on dating sites called "catfishing" in which a date is arranged and then the person no-shows/no-calls. It's cruel, but it happens. If you are stood up without getting a call and apology, it's best work on the "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" principle and not pursue it further.
5. Be very sure of how dinner costs and other expenses will be paid. There's lots of scammers out there that want to take advantage of a good person.
Thank you so much! Great advice. I haven't dated in years, so a lot of this is new for me.
Thank you so much! Great advice. I haven't dated in years, so a lot of this is new for me.
Be prepared for a certain amount of rudeness if you're active on OKC or other dating sites. Women get asked for nude photos routinely and are subject to immature commentary, and both men and women will often not even respond to messages. You can set filters on searches to note those who have been active within certain periods: day, week, month. If a person hasn't been active within a month they're likely dating someone already, or no longer dating. You'll eventually grow to recognize the ones who are there week in and week out.
Good luck in your quest!
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